Althouse: Roger Ebert, quoting John Waters: "If you go home with someone and they don't have books, don't f**k them."

September 26, 2011

Roger Ebert, quoting John Waters: "If you go home with someone and they don't have books, don't f**k them."

A stark tweet.

In the future, all the books will be ebooks, and it will be so much harder for Ebert and Waters to discern who deserves their sexual ministrations.

ADDED: One thing about books on the shelf is that you can check out the titles and form a rough opinion of the person. But that assumes the person really does read those books and that they don't have a hidden stash of books that — if you saw the titles — would send you running out the door.

What book, spotted on a prospective lover's shelf, would make you turn away and walk out the door?

142 comments:

The Dude said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9/26/11, 11:41 AM
Mark O said...: Any fine fellow on the prowl would have interrogated a young miss on her library long before any attempt to roguer her.; 9/26/11, 11:43 AM
deborah said...: I think people should stockpile books in anticipation of the fall of civilization.; 9/26/11, 11:43 AM
Known Unknown said...: I, for one, never want to see those tags in that order ever again.; 9/26/11, 11:45 AM
TosaGuy said...: I used to buy quite a few books. Then I moved 10 times in 10 years. Although I have been at my current place for 10 years, I don't buy books unless I personally know the author. Why buy books when you have the library.; 9/26/11, 11:47 AM
AllenS said...: E.M. Davis said...
I, for one, never want to see those tags in that order ever again.

Yeah, it sounds like something you'd see in a Carol_Herman sentence.; 9/26/11, 11:49 AM
edutcher said...: Ebert has gotten very weird over the years.

Waters has always been there.; 9/26/11, 11:50 AM
Fred4Pres said...: Yeah, it sounds like something you'd see in a Carol_Herman sentence.

This experiment with Carol Herman is going to end badly. That is my prediction.

You are going to give Trooper a heart attack.; 9/26/11, 11:52 AM
Titus said...: I agree with Sixty (gulp) who the fuck is going to fuck Roger Ebert?; 9/26/11, 11:54 AM
MayBee said...: I would throw out all of my books if it would save me from being f*cked by Roger Ebert.; 9/26/11, 11:54 AM
Fred4Pres said...: John Waters cracks me up sometimes.; 9/26/11, 11:55 AM
LordSomber said...: I always would get a rough impression of a person by the books on their shelves. Or, by their music collection.; 9/26/11, 11:57 AM
ic said...: May be the reason they hid their books because they were tire of fighting off egoistic losers.; 9/26/11, 11:58 AM
Henry said...: TosaGuy Why buy books when you have the library.

If Roger Ebert asks to see your library card, change the subject.; 9/26/11, 11:59 AM
DADvocate said...: Roger Ebert can only hook up with half blind, discarded librarian types. (My apologies to those librarians who see Roger as he is, "a fat fuck who is missing his jaw,"); 9/26/11, 12:11 PM
Anonymous said...: I've been calling certain KINDS of books -- the leathery Easton press kind, or, in law offices, those rows and rows of legal reporters -- "wall jewelry."; 9/26/11, 12:13 PM
Robert Cook said...: Hmmm...a lot of insults about Ebert (by an anonymous crew who don't have to worry about being appraised in this forum for their physical attractiveness), but no real comments about (Ebert's reiteration of) John Waters' "rule" itself...agree? disagree? It is biased? Elitist? Unfair? Spot on?

I think there are (at least) two perspectives on the issue: if you're just looking for a one-night stand, a booty call, a brief flirtation with la petite mort, does it really matter if one's partner reads books, (or, if they do, what kind)?

On the other hand, if one is interested in establishing a serious relationship with the other party, does the lack of books in his or her home, strongly suggesting that he or she does not read, have some influence on one's view of his or her viability as a long-term partner?

For me: no and yes, respectively.; 9/26/11, 12:18 PM
Sue D'Nhym said...: "To Serve Man"; 9/26/11, 12:19 PM
Jason said...: September 26th, 2011. Today is the day that Robert Cook posted something that wasn't stupid.; 9/26/11, 12:27 PM
Ipso Fatso said...: I was at a movie premier in Chicago many years ago and Ebert sat a few seats down from me in the same row. The woman he was with, on a scale of 1 to 10, was about a 60; she was drop dead gorgeous and probably some aspiring actress.

Yes today Ebert has any number of physical challenges and I am no fan of his politics but money, power, status all add up to attracting many types of beautiful woman. Interestingly, the woman he was with that night probably was not a member of Mensa, so maybe his taste in woman has changed.; 9/26/11, 12:27 PM
traditionalguy said...: And a corollary rule is that if they watch Dr Phil on TV for love advice, then refuse to spend the night after fucking them. This will set off alarm bells, but you will not become their flavor of the month.; 9/26/11, 12:28 PM
Hoosier Daddy said...: Sex advice from Roger Ebert. Wow.; 9/26/11, 12:30 PM
bagoh20 said...: I always give my books away after reading them, except non-fiction ones that might have value as a reference, but even then, Google is faster and better.

I have no reason to have books lying around unless I want to have sex with someone who considers Ebert or Waters to be wise men on sexual matters. So, I have no need to have books lying around. I wish they weren't so hard to burn, so I could use them as fire wood, and not cut into the author's sales.; 9/26/11, 12:30 PM
Jason said...: For me it would be Howard Zinn's "A People's History of the United States."

I suspect Chomsky reader chicks would be a pretty good lay, but not good for much else.

Anything by Andrea Dworkin.; 9/26/11, 12:30 PM
Known Unknown said...: September 26th, 2011. Today is the day that Robert Cook posted something that wasn't stupid.

Cook gets a lot of shit for his beliefs around here, but he's consistent and principled.

I suppose the books would be a indication the person was well-rounded and interesting, but as you can't judge a book by its cover, maybe you shouldn't judge a person by their books (or lack thereof); 9/26/11, 12:32 PM
Mary Beth said...: "To Serve Man"

The first one I saw that actually answered the question and it made me laugh.

If they had "The Twilight Zone Companion" or the actual Damon Knight story I would want to stay.; 9/26/11, 12:33 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "Ebert has gotten very weird over the years. Waters has always been there."

The question is what's the proportion of seriousness and humor in the remark as originally made by Waters and as understood and approved of by Ebert.; 9/26/11, 12:35 PM
bagoh20 said...: I have detected no substantive difference between bookish women and non-bookish ones in the bedroom. I have noticed a number of attitudes derived from books that made certain women's bedrooms a lonely place.; 9/26/11, 12:35 PM
MayBee said...: I know several well informed, intelligent, creative people who simply do not enjoy the act of reading books. It isn't something they do for pleasure.; 9/26/11, 12:37 PM
X said...: What book, spotted on a prospective lover's shelf, would make you turn away and walk out the door?

I assumed this was a question for the ladies only; 9/26/11, 12:42 PM
I'm Full of Soup said...: When I was in my 20's, no book would waylay me.

Today, maybe "The Audacity of a Dope."; 9/26/11, 12:42 PM
MaggotAtBroad&Wall said...: The rule defies human nature. Nobody, not even John Waters, has gone home with someone expecting to get laid and then, upon seeing no books laying around, chose to keep his wonder worm in his pants.

There are lots of reasons why his noodle might go limp once he gets in the house, but finding no books visible ain't one of them.; 9/26/11, 12:44 PM
Hoosier Daddy said...: ".. Cook gets a lot of shit for his beliefs around here, but he's consistent and principled..."

It's easy to be consistent when your default answer is the USA sucks. Principled would be relocating to the of the socialist utopias rather than enjoying life here while simultaneously denigrating the country.

As for the post, whether a potential mate reads books doesn't matter much to me. Common interests rather than her desire to read goes a lot further.; 9/26/11, 12:45 PM
bagoh20 said...: I understand Water's and Ebert's use here. It would take some strange ideas that are probably only found in books to lead a woman to have sex him. In fact, Waters is the kind of writer that would present such ideas. If either walks into the home of a prospect with few books he knows his one-in-a-million chance just got worse, and If he sees a poster of "Hairspray" on the wall, he's got a shot, cause that's a crazy bitch's house.; 9/26/11, 12:47 PM
J said...: meaningless strawmen abuse---the Annie Galthouse specialty; 9/26/11, 12:47 PM
Robert Cook said...: E.M. Davis says, wisely:

"...as you can't judge a book by its cover, maybe you shouldn't judge a person by their books (or lack thereof)."

True, of course. Which is why I said the lack of books in a potential partner's home would have "some influence" on my view as to her viability as a long term partner. Her other qualities all have to be considered as well, and, on whole, a non-reader who, in all other important respects is a keeper, is a keeper.

But, that she does not read would be something I would take into consideration while I was getting to know her.

As to the ratio of humor to seriousness in Waters' original remark and (by comparison or contrast) in Ebert's reiteration of it: who can say? I have no doubt Waters was serious even as he was being wry; with Ebert, one might assume he's being more serious and less wry, but then, he did write BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, so we must assume his own capacity for drollery.; 9/26/11, 12:48 PM
Known Unknown said...: The rule defies human nature. Nobody, not even John Waters, has gone home with someone expecting to get laid and then, upon seeing no books laying around, chose to keep his wonder worm in his pants.

There are lots of reasons why his noodle might go limp once he gets in the house, but finding no books visible ain't one of them.

This is true. I would still go for the sex, unless I found something more disturbing than a lack of literature.; 9/26/11, 12:49 PM
Jeff Gee said...: Ebert has written some dickish things by my lights, but he has also written the screenplay for Beyond the Valley of the Dolls so he gets a pass from me on most of the other stuff. He's also been dealt a miserable hand which he has played with considerably more grace than I suspect that I would. Which is to say I am having a rare moment of complete agreement with Robert Cook. // You can be a wonderful (and/or really hot) person and not much of a reader. I read voraciously and am comfortable at once in an apartment crammed with books, but the absence of books by itself wouldn't be a deal killer for me.; 9/26/11, 12:49 PM
bagoh20 said...: I probably spend 6 - 12 hours every day reading, but I have few books in my home. The couple I'm reading right now, and a few references like cookbooks and other how to references on various subjects. I know some people like to have them out as a statement of who they wish people would think they are. Does that really work?; 9/26/11, 12:52 PM
Pragmatist said...: Right off the bat "How to Cure Herpes with Prayer" would be a deal breaker. And for the Ebert bashers...at least he does not have to sneak his in the back door of his mom's basement. He has probably turned down more tail than most of you have ever gotten lucky with, so laugh on.; 9/26/11, 12:53 PM
coketown said...: The quality of sex and sharpness of mind are entirely unrelated to the possession of books. The dullest lovers I ever had were the most book-smart. Look at me. I'm totally flaccid thinking back on those horrible moments, where they'd rather give you a detailed etymology of the word fellatio instead of JUST DOING IT!!!; 9/26/11, 12:53 PM
William said...: What X said. Has there ever in the long history of mankind been someone who thought taste in literature trumped sex appeal? Someone who does probably has a weird, sick fetish for good writing and should not be in the gene pool. Still, those Bloomsbury types had a surprisingly hectic sex life.; 9/26/11, 12:54 PM
Pragmatist said...: Oh, and anything by Ayn Rand. They would probably want to stop in the middle of the good part and give a long, boring speech about topics for which they have little understanding.; 9/26/11, 12:57 PM
Lucius said...: If all they have is an e-reader, still don't fuck them.

Chicks still collect **candles**, for crying out loud.

What kind of non-person three centuries from now won't collect books?; 9/26/11, 12:57 PM
ricpic said...: Why buy books when you have the library?

My sentiments exactly. The drawback being that depending on who you bring home and what reading kick you're on at the time and therefore what library books are lying around - The Big Book of Robert Crumb one week, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire another week - your sack success will fluctuate wildly.; 9/26/11, 1:01 PM
Robert Cook said...: "The quality of sex and sharpness of mind are entirely unrelated to the possession of books. The dullest lovers I ever had were the most book-smart. Look at me. I'm totally flaccid thinking back on those horrible moments, where they'd rather give you a detailed etymology of the word fellatio instead of JUST DOING IT!!!"

I think you're missing Waters' point: he's really saying "don't waste your time associating with stupid people." It's really not about sex, as such.; 9/26/11, 1:01 PM
MayBee said...: He has probably turned down more tail than most of you have ever gotten lucky with, so laugh on.

Is having the opportunity to turn down lots of tail a measure of someone's worth?; 9/26/11, 1:02 PM
Mick said...: "Dreams From My Father"

"A People's History of the United States"; 9/26/11, 1:04 PM
Sigivald said...: The entire quote is just vapid posturing, anyway.

If you're going home with someone to have sex with them, either you don't care about their mental ability beyond a basic level, or you've already evaluated it in conversation.

Water is a pretentious jerk, no surprise there. Ditto Ebert.; 9/26/11, 1:04 PM
Anonymous said...: None. A book defines nothing about the reader.; 9/26/11, 1:04 PM
Robert Cook said...: "Oh, and anything by Ayn Rand. They would probably want to stop in the middle of the good part and give a long, boring speech about topics for which they have little understanding."

I don't know...as odious as Rand and her followers and her books are, (and yes, I have read both THE FOUNTAINHEAD and ATLAS SHRUGGED), given her heroines' penchant for rapesex, a woman with a fondness for Rand might be quite a passionate lover!; 9/26/11, 1:05 PM
coketown said...: @Robert Cook: His point wasn't lost on me. It was for brevity's sake that I limited my example to sex, in keeping with the narrow scope of Ebert's tweet. The same criticism applies to book-smart people outside the bedroom. Dullards!; 9/26/11, 1:05 PM
J said...: half of the names (with no blogs, no profile, no info) on here are the mormon sockpuppet-troll aka ..Barfaroni (pragmatist,deborah, et al). Ugly crass pointless--thats it (actually a leftist --reg on DU and Digby--until booted off); 9/26/11, 1:07 PM
William said...: I keep the books I have read more than once and for which I have affection in the permanent library. Also I go to used book stores and buy a lot of books that someday, if I live long enough, I will eventually read. I have got a huge pile of books around the house. As a nookie magnet, books are much less effective than Ferraris......I have fairly good taste in literature, but I'm middlebrow in music and trashy in movies. I like lots of special effects, and nothing is more pleasurable than watching the destruction of Los Angeles. Why is one's taste in books a better marker of character than one's taste in other forms of entertainment?; 9/26/11, 1:11 PM
J said...: "William"-- LDS sockpuppet once again; 9/26/11, 1:13 PM
Tibore said...: Too simplistic Roger & John. Take someone who's housesitting for a professor... if you judge those books by their cover, you're getting set for some serious disappointment. Ditto the reverse case: A travelling academic renting a temp space as a visiting scholar who's got nothing.

Like most Tweets, this is a pithy comment for laughs and superficial insight. It shouldn't be something we overanalyze to death; I'm sure both Ebert and Waters have more nuances to that opinion than 140 characters allows them to give voice to. My point in saying this is that Twitter shouldn't be taken as Gospel regarding a person's view on things. It's too superficial.

------

"What book, spotted on a prospective lover's shelf, would make you turn away and walk out the door?"

Well, if I knew it was her house, and if I had reasonable indication that the bookshelf was stocked with books of her preference that she took seriously, then it would take some real delusionary books to get me to walk away. Anything from Erich Von Daniken, for example, would be enough to make me reconsider the hookup.

Unless she possessed the book for laughs and saw right through it. At that point, we'd definitely have something in common.

Something that would make me run, but also make me want to stop for a minute to slap the woman on the back of the head would be anything by David Ray Griffin that's on September 11th: New Pearl Harbor, Mysterious Collapse of World Trade Center 7, Debunking 9/11 Debunking... yeah. If the person was of that sort of mindset and honestly believed the tripe, I'd be leaving. And forget the hotness. Leaving would be a self defense tactic, so I don't get thrown in jail for slapping the bitch.; 9/26/11, 1:14 PM
Timothy said...: Comic books for adults... I mean "graphic novels"... are a turn off.

Also anything by Ayn Rand, whose writing is like comic books but without pictures.; 9/26/11, 1:16 PM
Tank said...: Pragmatist said...

Oh, and anything by Ayn Rand. They would probably want to stop in the middle of the good part and give a long, boring speech about topics for which they have little understanding.

Ok, I'll bite. Which part is NOT the good part?

Not sure about this book thing. I get most of mine from the library, and donate most of the others. You will find both Crumb and Thucydides on my shelf. WTF. We eclectic types make the best lovers.; 9/26/11, 1:19 PM
I'm Full of Soup said...: I tend to confuse Andy Warhol with Waters.; 9/26/11, 1:22 PM
Matt said...: Why buy books when you have the library.

Don't let anyone from the Tea Party hear you - libraries are socialism in action.; 9/26/11, 1:24 PM
Fred4Pres said...: LDS sockpuppets? What is that about? So I guess if you hook up with someone and they have the Book of Mormon, you are out of there?

I can say from past experiences, I did not let anyone's libary stop me from going forward with the deed that night, but I did look at such books in the morning and have some regrets.; 9/26/11, 1:25 PM
jrberg3 said...: First of all, taking advice from Ebert on this matter is like taking fitness direction from Gov. Chris Christie.

And obviously this would all depend on your intentions for the opposite sex. If I was coming home with her from a bar, the last thing on my mind was what books were in her place.

If it was someone I was dating for ahwile then maybe I would check the books after we were done with the f*cking and all that and make my decision to stay later.; 9/26/11, 1:27 PM
J said...: WASP-zionist trash in action--Althouse; 9/26/11, 1:28 PM
C R Krieger said...: I clicked through to the twitter line and all I could think of was cuckoo clocks.

But, then, we discussed the ferris wheel over the weekend.

Regards — Clff; 9/26/11, 1:29 PM
sakredkow said...: If it's a hookup, why be judgmental?; 9/26/11, 1:30 PM
Anonymous said...: "What book, spotted on a prospective lover's shelf, would make you turn away and walk out the door?"

Anything by Al Franken or Ann Coulter. This is America and you can believe what you want, but I'd prefer my dates to at least be civilized about it.; 9/26/11, 1:32 PM
Anonymous said...: For me it would be Howard Zinn's "A People's History of the United States."

Not that my conservative, churchgoing mom would be bringing home one-night stands, but she does (or did - that was seven moves ago) own this book, simply because she was required to read it for a history class she took once.

I will cut people slack on what they are reading because it's always good to know how the other side thinks, but I am completely inflexible on the Che Guevara posters and t-shirts. You worship Che? Then there is no chance that we could ever be friends. Ever.; 9/26/11, 1:36 PM
jrberg3 said...: "What book, spotted on a prospective lover's shelf, would make you turn away and walk out the door?"

Something like this would stop me in my tracks:

When The Opposite Sex Isn't: Sexual Orientation In Male-to-Female Transgender People by Sandra L. Samons; 9/26/11, 1:36 PM
ricpic said...: Hey Matt, if you had half a brain you'd know that libraries for anyone less than the prince and the rise of capitalism went hand in glove.; 9/26/11, 1:37 PM
Quaestor said...: Robert Cook's brief flirtation with la petite mort bore's me to -- what? Death? Nah, bores me to the Kingdom of Ultimate Ennui. Now, Robert Cook's bid for a long-term relationship with the big one piques my interest.; 9/26/11, 1:42 PM
FedkaTheConvict said...: >>I was at a movie premier in Chicago many years ago and Ebert sat a few seats down from me in the same row. The woman he was with, on a scale of 1 to 10, was about a 60; she was drop dead gorgeous and probably some aspiring actress.

Yes today Ebert has any number of physical challenges and I am no fan of his politics but money, power, status all add up to attracting many types of beautiful woman. Interestingly, the woman he was with that night probably was not a member of Mensa, so maybe his taste in woman has changed.<<

When did this occur. Ebert is married to a black woman and has been for quite a while.; 9/26/11, 1:44 PM
Hoosier Daddy said...: "... Don't let anyone from the Tea Party hear you -libraries are socialism in action..."

You clearly don't know much about the Tea Party but thanks for putting your ignorance on display for all to see.; 9/26/11, 1:46 PM
Quaestor said...: When The Opposite Sex Isn't: Sexual Orientation In Male-to-Female Transgender People by Sandra L. Samons

Yeesch! That is hideous. I'm not sure who is the more replusive, the prospective fuck-object or Sandra L. Samons who evidently can't write a book with a grammatically sound title.; 9/26/11, 1:47 PM
Lucien said...: Given that people can read books just to find out what they say, rather than as a method of advertising endorsement of everything that the author espouses, and also that it is quite easy to receive a book as a gift, put it on the shelf, and not even get around to finding out what it says, one would have to be awfully twitchy to spurn love just because of spotting a single title on a shelf.

Of course certain titles, added to the fact that the author is the person one is considering as a potential lover, might do the trick.; 9/26/11, 1:49 PM
David said...: Mark O said...
Any fine fellow on the prowl would have interrogated a young miss on her library long before any attempt to roguer her.

You are kidding, right?

The rule might be broader--never fuck someone you know nothing about.

When young and in rut, not a widely observed rule, as I dimly recall.; 9/26/11, 1:51 PM
Known Unknown said...: Don't let anyone from the Tea Party hear you - libraries are socialism in action.

Wow, you're full of shit.; 9/26/11, 1:52 PM
Quaestor said...: A "transgendered" person's sexual orientation is the least of its worries.; 9/26/11, 1:54 PM
dbp said...: I would say Dianetics but I still wouldn't walk out since they could have it for humor value only.

This works for Mein Kampf and Das Kapita as well.; 9/26/11, 2:05 PM
dbp said...: Abridged classics and self-help books by known idiots...and I would still stay, but I would feel guilty later.; 9/26/11, 2:15 PM
Joanna said...: If you've got a Che poster on your wall, I usually get myself the hell out of your life.; 9/26/11, 2:29 PM
rduke said...: OMG...I can't believe he actually tweeted this...back in the old days on "Siskel and Ebert" I used to respect him....now it is plain he is losing his mind....he needs to go away and people need to stop paying attention to his deluded postings; 9/26/11, 2:50 PM
FleetUSA said...: It might be too intrusive to ask to see their Kindle...the secret person lives there.; 9/26/11, 2:53 PM
London Girl said...: Last time I was in this situation, turned out the guy had basically the same books as me.

And I don't mean, hey we've both read The DaVinci Code - spooky. I'm talking obscure books on user interface design. A set of essays on Cold War nuclear strategy. It was like meeting the male version of myself.

More weird than a turn on. He thought I was exaggerating when I told him. Then he saw my books and thought I'd set him up.

Reader, I married him.; 9/26/11, 2:54 PM
Quaestor said...: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Feng Shui on the coffee table would get my attention. That wouldn't necessarily make me flee, but it would mitigate against commitment, if you know what I mean.; 9/26/11, 2:56 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: What book, spotted on a prospective lover's shelf, would make you turn away and walk out the door?

Cadaver Comfort Foods: A Book of Cannibal Home Cooking; 9/26/11, 2:59 PM
Jennifer said...: Sex For Dummies; 9/26/11, 3:00 PM
Jennifer said...: Lol Freeman.; 9/26/11, 3:01 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: Lol Jennifer; 9/26/11, 3:02 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: Oh my. I'll have to leave this thread. So many answers that are unpostable!; 9/26/11, 3:06 PM
bagoh20 said...: Do your friends and family a favor: get rid of the books before you die.; 9/26/11, 3:11 PM
SomeoneHasToSayIt said...: Sue D'Nhym said...

"To Serve Man"

Ha!; 9/26/11, 3:14 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: The Idiot's Guide to Animal Torture

Dogfighting 101: Strategies and Tactics

A large selection of poorly written fiction.; 9/26/11, 3:18 PM
coketown said...: I don't do one-night stands, unfortunately, but I would never (again) date someone who doesn't own a microwave.

I briefly dated a guy who didn't own a microwave. He was scared of it giving him cancer. He was also a super-Orthodox Catholic (to the point of saying the last several Popes were not true Catholics) and a devoted user of essential oils--so he always smelt like basil and rosemary aioli. He also refused to use condoms because the Catholic church is against condoms. Umm, hello? You're gay, dude. The preventing-a-pregnancy thing is a non-issue here, and I think plays second fiddle to the whole gayness thing. That kept us from ever bumping uglies, for which I am grateful.

Also, we could only ever go on dates at restaurants that were 100% local and organic, which meant every meal was like $10,000.

The last straw was when he canceled a date because his miniature schnauzer wasn't feeling well. I'm not going to be the third wheel to YOU AND YOUR DOG!

So maybe, to answer the book question, I would not hook up with a person who had "How to Prevent Cancer in Every Manifestation and Circumstance" on their bookshelf.; 9/26/11, 3:20 PM
bagoh20 said...: "Living with Leprosy: Keeping it together"; 9/26/11, 3:24 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: A Lifestyle Workbook for Today's Asexual Male; 9/26/11, 3:29 PM
I'm Full of Soup said...: London Girl:

Cute story-thanks for sharing it.; 9/26/11, 3:33 PM
Peter Hoh said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9/26/11, 3:33 PM
Tibore said...: "Freeman Hunt said...

Cadaver Comfort Foods: A Book of Cannibal Home Cooking"

I think Freeman's got us there. Yeah, that'd make me run. Screaming the entire way, in fact (*shudders*); 9/26/11, 3:35 PM
Steven said...: What book, spotted on a prospective lover's shelf, would make you turn away and walk out the door?

The 120 Days of Sodom.; 9/26/11, 3:36 PM
Smilin' Jack said...: "Roger Ebert, quoting John Waters: "If you go home with someone and they don't have books, don't f**k them.""

Don't be so hasty--she may have an excellent reason for not having books. For example, she may have difficulty reaching all the way around her boobs to turn the pages. That would be an acceptable excuse, in my opinion.; 9/26/11, 3:38 PM
Peter Hoh said...: What book, spotted on a prospective lover's shelf, would make you turn away and walk out the door?

Harvesting Human Organs for Fun and Profit; 9/26/11, 3:43 PM
Calypso Facto said...: What book, spotted on a prospective lover's shelf, would make you turn away and walk out the door?

Ways to Cut off a Relationship -- Lorena Bobbit; 9/26/11, 3:49 PM
jr565 said...: One of my friends in grade school never had any books in his house. (he was a buddy, not a romantic interest)But it was strange to me, considering I and my family all collect books. However, despite his lack of intellectual curiosity he graduated from Cornell, or Princeton and became a multimillionaire entrepeneur.
So,any women who were put off by the lack of books in his house, would miss out on raking in the motherlode.
Also, perhaps excessive books are for geeks, and "artists" who end up starving and impoverished. As LOBO used to say in comic books "Schools out you erudite geeks" before blasting the erudite geeks with a bazooka. Perhaps, having an excess of books is in fact a deficiency, and not the other way around.
How many people with a lot of books are also Hoarders who can't throw stuff away?; 9/26/11, 4:06 PM
Robert Cook said...: "Do your friends and family a favor: get rid of the books before you die."

Yeah, I've been thinking about all the books in my apartment and what, ultimately, will have to be done with them. If I move, I'll have to box them all up and ship them or have them trucked to where I'm headed. If I drop dead, somebody's going to have a huge headache on their hands.

If my family doesn't step in or if I haven't made prior arrangements, (an estate sale to The Strand?), I guess the landlord will just dump them en masse when they come in to make my apartment minty fresh for re-rental.; 9/26/11, 4:07 PM
Dust Bunny Queen said...: I keep the books I have read more than once and for which I have affection in the permanent library.

Ditto on the permanent library of books. There are some that are just worthwhile reading over. Others that are classics. And then there are the reference type books.

I and my husband read all the time. We go to the library, go to second hand book stores and have stacks of books on both sides of the bed.

He doesn't always like my fictionbooks (sci fi generally) and I don't like political/military books, but we both like murder mysteries. Often we will trade books when we are done with them.

Currently we are reading "Born Fighting". I read it first and am waiting for him to finish so we can discuss.

I haunt the antique and collectible stores for very old or unique cookbooks for my collection.

I can't imagine a world without books. No matter how convenient, I can't imagine a world without PAPER tangible books. I can't understand people who do not read.

Books that would send me running from a prospective lover.....Mein Kampf, Nazi, Socialistic or Communist propaganda type books. I don't care how good of a fuck he might be.....we could never converse.; 9/26/11, 4:09 PM
jr565 said...: Joanna wrote:
If you've got a Che poster on your wall, I usually get myself the hell out of your life.

What if it's a poster that has Che on it but then says "This poster, brought to you by capitalism". Or what if their are darts or bullet holes in Che's head in the poster. Maybe, a keeper?; 9/26/11, 4:10 PM
jr565 said...: I used to collect books like crazy. Two things changed my mind on books. One, I recently had to put the books in storage when I gave up my apartment. And realized how much space they took up as well as how much they clutter the house. And getting an ipad and realizing how I can have all of those books on a small screen I can fit in a laptop bag and which are searchable. Why buy books again?; 9/26/11, 4:15 PM
Dust Bunny Queen said...: Why buy books again?

It's hard to sleep in the sun with an Ipad on your face.; 9/26/11, 4:20 PM
Fred4Pres said...: You can check out more than the books on their shelves...say what wine they drink!; 9/26/11, 4:28 PM
Richard said...: "Serving Humans".; 9/26/11, 4:29 PM
traditionalguy said...: The library at home has expanded until it has had to stop. Now we "donate" overflow books to the Campus Library.; 9/26/11, 4:35 PM
Fred4Pres said...: Here's a book for the conservative ladies out there...; 9/26/11, 4:37 PM
showbiz111 said...: Dreams of My Father. Mein Kampf.
Best Speeches of Achtungmadinijad.
How To Drive by Ted Kennedy.
Lifesaving Course by Ted Kennedy.
Rules for Radicals.
Any book by Jimmy Carter.
The Audacity of Hope.
Curing Liberals Through Prayer.
The Rogue
The Second Sex
Anything by Steinem
It Takes A Village
Living History
Anything by Ayres&Dohrn
Vick's Dog Training Manual
Michael Moore's Guide To Healthy Eating.
Che
Hitler Diaries
Any screed by David Irving.
Economics 101 by Geithner.
Silent Spring.
Satanic Bible.
Tax Preparing by Charlie Rangel.; 9/26/11, 4:41 PM
sakredkow said...: That's the problem with some of you people. You don't know how to compartmentalize.; 9/26/11, 4:52 PM
Christy said...: Darlings, this is why we carefully select the books that display in the living room!

@Timothy would get as far as the hall outside my bedroom before encountering my Sandman Collection and run screaming away.

I figure this rule must be why I got little action the summer I read Godel, Escher, and Bach at the beach.

I'd probably turn away from a well read collection of Jerzy Kosinski. Loved Kosinski, but he would scare me away in a real life avatar.; 9/26/11, 5:23 PM
Fred4Pres said...: Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.

Run. Don't walk.; 9/26/11, 5:29 PM
Jose_K said...: As el Lazarillo de Tormes said: I dont care if she is wise or not. I want to be instructed i would marry a book; 9/26/11, 5:31 PM
Jose_K said...: Hitler Diaries. The fake version published by Newsweek?
I read Mein Kampf. Im a constituional law professor so i need to know history of political ideas. And as Saint Ignatius of loyola said: you must know the devil to figh him; 9/26/11, 5:34 PM
David said...: Collier's Encyclopedia would give me pause.; 9/26/11, 5:40 PM
Jose_K said...: would make you turn away and walk out the door?

The 120 Days of Sodom.Too repetitive
Sade? Why? You are a man . A woman must run.BTW: Justine is a funnier version of Zadig an a great book
Venus´s fur? then you run; 9/26/11, 5:40 PM
David said...: Men: An Owner's Manual.; 9/26/11, 5:41 PM
showbiz111 said...: It's not just a single book but a combination of them. I know one must know the enemy, but if all the other person has is enemy books, that is someone to give a wide berth to.; 9/26/11, 6:06 PM
Mitch H. said...: When I was in the market for a house, I toured a little shoebox of a ranch which was owned by a married pair of college professors, probably not tenured. There was exactly one, small shelf of books, and they were all used undergrad textbooks. The house sucked, ended up buying a townhouse instead.

Books to run away from? Earth in the Balance. Mein Kampf or a shelf full of communist books might just suggest their area of study, but there's no reason in the world to have a book by Al Gore on your shelf except quasi-religious fervour.

For me it would be Howard Zinn's "A People's History of the United States."

Nah, too many asshole professors assign that book, and a lot of college grads just leave their old textbooks on a shelf somewhere. Any other book by Zinn? They better specialize in historiography.

Right off the bat "How to Cure Herpes with Prayer" would be a deal breaker.

And that's the thread-winner.; 9/26/11, 6:23 PM
Ipso Fatso said...: Convict:

"Chaz and Roger were married on July 18, 1992 at the Fourth Presbyterian Church in Chicago, Illinois." Source:About.com

The time I saw Ebert was in the early 1980s.; 9/26/11, 7:14 PM
Kirby Olson said...: If they had books on How to Live with Hepatitus C, or B, or A, or any other letter, I think it would be best to demur.

Living with AIDS might also give one pause.

Spreading Contagious Diseases, or any title along those lines, would probably be a dealbreaker even for hepcats like Titus, I suppose.; 9/26/11, 7:36 PM
Fred4Pres said...: Perhaps the reading you should be looking at is in the medicine cabinet not the book shelf.

BTW, it is a good idea not to leave that medicine cabinet stuff accessable when you have a party because people do look (and steal).; 9/26/11, 7:46 PM
walter said...: If you take someone home and they're looking for books....

Better to look in their medicine cabinets.; 9/26/11, 8:32 PM
Mr. Forward said...: "Is having the opportunity to turn down lots of tail a measure of someone's worth?"
MayBee

Is this a trick question?
May be.; 9/26/11, 8:36 PM
Anonymous said...: The works of Edgar Cayce and Adelle Davis.; 9/26/11, 9:11 PM
Synova said...: "How many people with a lot of books are also Hoarders who can't throw stuff away?"

Excellent point.

I find it hard to throw anything away. This is a fault, not a virtue.

And yes, I've got lots of books.; 9/26/11, 10:08 PM
Synova said...: My husband has programing code books that are 20 years old.

I'm all... C+ 1.0 ? Seriously?; 9/26/11, 10:10 PM
Synova said...: When you fill out any family-information forms for the school district they always want to know how many books you have in the house. (Did the census ask this, too? Maybe not the 10 year one, but a supplemental survey?)

I find the question offensive. It's not like they're going to do something different with your child if you say "no books" so is it just a manipulative way of making you feel guilty enough you might buy some? (It's like the "guns at home" question from doctors. Is asking the question an intimidation tactic? They aren't going to treat your child differently and having guns is legal, so...); 9/26/11, 10:19 PM
rcommal said...: More/other quotes attributed to John Waters (don't forget to click next); More, other more/other quotes attributed to John Waters. Additional is available, but enough is sufficient sometimes.

Verification thingie is "dyedlint". WTF. Waters could do something with that--or maybe he already did.; 9/26/11, 10:19 PM
reformed trucker said...: "I cut people slack on what they are reading because it's always good to know what the other side thinks..." - Class factotum

Ahh...someone who's not afraid to read an opposing view... very good.; 9/26/11, 10:27 PM
reformed trucker said...: "What book, spotted on a prospective lover's shelf..."

Well, since I'm not a man-whore, there would need to be some type of commitment first. By that point, I'm sure I would have "felt her up" intellectually. :); 9/26/11, 10:32 PM
rcommal said...: Polyester's not supposed to leave lint, so it can't be that one, for example, now can it.; 9/26/11, 10:33 PM
rcommal said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9/26/11, 10:45 PM
rcommal said...: John Waters writes about his 1987 interview of Little Richard for an article in "Playboy."; 9/26/11, 10:47 PM
rcommal said...: "In the future, all the books will be ebooks, and it will be so much harder for Ebert and Waters to discern who deserves their sexual ministrations."

It is all too easy to suspect that this is a false premise.; 9/26/11, 10:56 PM
Anonymous said...: Jeffrey Dahmer--An Autobiography
or
Trepanation--It Doesn't Have to Be Boring; 9/27/11, 1:38 AM
Kirby Olson said...: Going home with someone in one night is the equivalent of fast food.

Slow food is the answer.

In the sexual arena, you should know someone well for at least two years before you sleep with them. Otherwise, you're setting yourself up for serious difficulties.

The Amish have some things right.; 9/27/11, 8:16 AM
Noone special said...: If i saw any of that twilight crap i would not walk out but run.; 11/2/11, 9:30 PM