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40 comments:
He looks like he's eleven. It is a simple plan - women are suckers for famous guys, and he's now that.
Christ Jesus. The only way a dork like that is going to get any hot dates will be with Mrs. Palm and her five daughters.
I'd say there's a mail order bride in his future.
Peter
Actually, I'll modify my prior post. Some women might be willing to date the dork just to go along with the stunt. But they'll only date him once, and the dates will be strictly Platonic. The chances are effectively zero that any women will have sex with him.
It doesn't help that Brian is in New York. For most men, it's only of the very toughest places to find datable women. New York women have extremely high standards in men: they will date investment bankers, BIGLAW partners, hedge fund managers, and perhaps some artsy types who have huge trust funds. Ordinary men with ordinary jobs? Unwanted.
Peter
Sartorialist twin?
If not, could be a match.
The site has a certain style and the kid knows how to market himself.
When he sells the rights, who plays him, because this is a natural sitcom?
The Daily News did a piece on this because he is no more than two degrees of separation from a Daily News reporter who needed a story on a slow news day.
I'd suggest a comb.
Women? maybe this boy should start out with a date with a girl?
"Why did The Daily News cover this story?"
Why did you cover it?
Bagoh, I was going to say eleven, too! He looks like Opie.
Toy
"ironrailsironweights said...
It doesn't help that Brian is in New York. For most men, it's only of the very toughest places to find datable women. New York women have extremely high standards in men: they will date investment bankers, BIGLAW partners, hedge fund managers, and perhaps some artsy types who have huge trust funds. Ordinary men with ordinary jobs? Unwanted."
That is totally wrong dude. A certain type of New York (ie Manhattan) girl will only do that. But there are plenty of beautiful and delightful woman in the outer bouroughs you can meet and fall in love with. The type of bitch you are talking about is the one who never gets dates but complains about it all the time.
And sometimes dude, it's you not the girl. You don't always have to date the star of the show. You can ask out Rhoda instead of Mary Tyler Moore. Just sayn'
Stay dork and sign up for a "Date a Dork" reality show.
If it hasn't been done already.
It's a flawed concept from the outset. This has nothing to do with being a ladies' man. Having publicized the concept, he'll get responses from women who want in the publicity. They'll know it's just a goof. There's no real risk involved, which is what makes picking someone up exciting.
Why not do an article on an actual New York ladies' man who regularly picks up women at bars, museums, parks, etc.?
There seems to be a market for this type of contrived project, like that of the woman I heard interviewed on NPR last year who decided that she'd have sex every day with her husband for a year and write a book about it. (IIRC. Anyway, who cares?)
I was wondering whether you'd weigh in on this, Trooper. Your comments strike me as being dead on the mark for any big city in the Bos-Wash corridor.
"she'd have sex every day with her husband for a year and write a book about it."
My god, what a bad investment that is.
Cost: a year of mostly bad sex + a year of writing about it + ruined marriage + opportunity cost of doing something better +...
Payoff: A boring book, nobody wants to read past a single page in the middle somewhere.
Can you really claim to be a "dork from Wisconsin" encountering the sophisticated world of Big City sex and dating? If he's from anyplace near Madison, he could have found some faux-urban sophistication, even in "dorky" Wisconsin (kind of like what you would find in Austin, Chapel Hill, and Bloomington). I can also think of some symbols of urban cool - The Onion and The Knitting Factory - that originated in Wisconsin. This "Dorky From Milwaukee" is nothing but a faux-naif pose!
This would work better with a guy from Wyoming or one of the Dakotas. Nothing but wide open spaces.
If this 'man' gets a date from a woman in New York, it will be paid for.
It's a great project. If I were his boss, I would hire him permanently. He's smart, he understands how to market, and he is adorable.
Dorks win in the end because they are usually nice guys and most women (once they have dated a jerk or two) realize that they are far better off marrying a dork than a lothario.
Remember the scene in "Revenge of the Nerds" when the dorky guy finally gets the cute girl away from the football captain and she's so amazed at his - um - skills? She asks him about it and he says, "Jocks think only about sports. Nerds think only about sex."
PS Besides, there is nothing like a nice Midwestern boy who appreciates Kopps frozen custard, fried cheese curds, and bratwurst. You betcha.
The menu for the true boulevardier is full of so many tasty flavors in the City that is known as New York. Spicy Latin Lovelies from Washington Heights. Chocolate delights of oh so creamy caramel from Fort Greene. Earnest young tattooed yet dewy hipsters from Williamsburg. Fiery and feisty guidettes from Bensonhurst and Staten Island. Porcelain skinned colleens with pale green eyes and bright red hair from Inwood or Sunnyside.
It is a veritable smorgasbord full of delight and wonder.
You just have to have game.
I am retired.
But I can still coach.
Paul said...
...
There seems to be a market for this type of contrived project, like that of the woman I heard interviewed on NPR last year who decided that she'd have sex every day with her husband for a year and write a book about it. (IIRC. Anyway, who cares?)
IIRC, there was an article in the Gray Lady about that, which became a post.
From what I recall in my own experience, Trooper's right. You can meet women (people, really) a lot more down-to-earth than that and who come from close-knit families and maintain close-knit groups. They're the types who are interested in quality in a person they meet and can become intimate with, rather than a mere avatar with the bestest list of credentials on his dating "resume".
And honestly, who wants to be with a woman like that? And what kind of an asshole wants to be the dehumanized soul that would attract it?
Believe it or not, some people in this country still retain what was once quaintly referred to as a "heart", and a "soul".
This guy is not 23!
Twelve maybe.
Um, not to revert to being as shallow as the ladies and guys we're slagging, but did you see the chickens who pecked? One seemed perfectly nice, one was jumping with him in the air on the High Line and one looked too depressed for words. (With the bowling ball. Thankfully, he seemed to reciprocate the moroseness). But none as far as we could tell were "hot" in the understood sense (although you couldn't see the jumper all that well so who knows). Just sayin'. It might not be what he's into.
Plus, who the hell knows what they want at 23? Your twenties should be a time of massive experimentation. A chick a day for a month? He's got the right idea. Too bad this is what he thinks it has to come down to, though. But it's good there are people willing to take him up on it - as predicted. But Trooper's right and that's the larger point. Maybe they fit into that, maybe not. Some of the younger Manhattanites are too young, preoccupied and/or newly transplanted to know just how snotty they're supposed to be.
Enjoy it, Brian. You dorky Midwesterner in New York, or as I call it - a cultural refugee.
Let me put it this way so even someone from Cheeseheadland can understand.
If you can't get laid in NYC you really aren't trying.
The menu for the true boulevardier is full of so many tasty flavors in the City that is known as New York. Spicy Latin Lovelies from Washington Heights.
Interracial dating may be on the rise, but not in that particular race and gender combination.
Chocolate delights of oh so creamy caramel from Fort Greene.
See above.
Earnest young tattooed yet dewy hipsters from Williamsburg.
Perhaps if Brian were a hipster himself, but he's not - he's a dork, and there's a big difference.
Fiery and feisty guidettes from Bensonhurst and Staten Island.
That's the most ludicrous thing I've heard in ages. Imagine Brian on an episode of Jersey Shore. Not within the realm of possibility.
Porcelain skinned colleens with pale green eyes and bright red hair from Inwood or Sunnyside.
Those 'hoods are a lot "browner" these days, but even if that weren't the case a dork like Brian would have little chance.
Peter
Dorks win in the end because they are usually nice guys and most women (once they have dated a jerk or two) realize that they are far better off marrying a dork than a lothario.
I'm sure you'd like to think life works that way, but it doesn't. The dorks either learn to change their ways, or they end up as embittered aging single men who are prime targets for mail order bride scam artists.
Remember the scene in "Revenge of the Nerds" when the dorky guy finally gets the cute girl away from the football captain and she's so amazed at his - um - skills? She asks him about it and he says, "Jocks think only about sports. Nerds think only about sex."
"Revenge of the Nerds" is fiction.
Peter
Don't bed him ladies. Statutory rape.
"ask out Rhoda instead of Mary Tyler Moore."
I was always a Rhoda guy. Fleshier. Brassier. Also possibly attainable.
He kind of reminds me of the young Anthony Michael Hall from some of those Brat Pack movies back in the mid-80s.
"ironrailsironweights said...
Interracial dating may be on the rise, but not in that particular race and gender combination."
Dude you sound like such a downer. There is nothing warmer and more delightful than a lovely Dominican lass from Washington Heights.
I am gonna have to have Lem set you up with his sister.
If she is anything like Lem, a few Mojito's and a couple of cerveza's and you are in like Flynn.
Just expect about a hundred phone calls the next night.
Just sayn'
There is nothing warmer and more delightful than a lovely Dominican lass from Washington Heights.
To picture Brian getting it on with a Dominican chick from Washington Heights, imagine throwing a miniature cocktail frank into Mammoth Cave.
Peter
Dude you are slandering all the lovely Latin Ladies from Washington Heights by implying that they are cavernous to the extreme. No matter how tiny the piscadeal that young Cheeseboy might sport, I am confident that he would find a tight winsome chicquita to make the beast with two backs. He should take salsa lessons and learn a rico sauve attitude.
Knowing how to dance always gets you laid.
Just sayn'
And don't knock the guidettes. You just have to be able to talk their language. A tan helps. And some muscles. Or at least a muscle car. But knowing how to dance works too. Getting out on the floor to grind and then taking her back to the bar for a few Sambucca's and a couple of Long Island Iced Teas and before you know it you are back at the beach house puking on Snookie.
Hopefully after you pound her good. Just sayn'
Look, I don't know what the big deal is about this guy getting 30 dates in 30 days. Even though they're imported they're still pretty cheap. And small - it's not like they're pumpkins. They dry very well and will keep for months.
So I say the kid will have no problem.
He has a nice website, and he's a good writer. That's a start. He shouldn't roll up the cuffs of his jeans. Too fussy.
Anyone watched Ratatouille lately?
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