Althouse: The unselfish husband.

March 31, 2010

The unselfish husband.

"If a man were to invite a lady to marry him on the ground that he ardently desired her happiness and at the same time considered that she would afford him ideal opportunities of self-abnegation, I think it may be doubted whether she would be altogether pleased."

13 comments:

traditionalguy said...: This insight is the basic truth that part of what we enjoy sharing with another person includes their needs and doing things for them. A one way giver to us that refuses to take anything from us only gives half of the truth that we in a good relationship.; 3/31/10, 7:27 AM
Anonymous said...: Bertrand Russell on love? That's a laugh.; 3/31/10, 7:46 AM
Anonymous said...: Seven Machos: Bertrand Russell on love? That's a laugh.

C.S. Lewis' radio broadcasts on love were a laugh, too. Right up until he married Joy Gresham out of convenience and THEN fell in love with her. And then she got cancer. See either of the film versions of "Shadowlands."

Wisdom regarding the heart comes to the strangest of teachers in the strangest of ways.; 3/31/10, 8:28 AM
Lynne said...: One of the greatest disservices done to our understanding of love is that it should somehow always be 'fun' or easy. That it is often neither does not make it unworthy pursuing and keeping.; 3/31/10, 9:54 AM
Lynne said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 3/31/10, 9:54 AM
Hoosier Daddy said...: If I'm reading this correctly, my wife would not be happy if I put aside all my interests and desires and instead focused purely on her happiness.

If that's what this is saying then I'd say the author doesn't know jack about women.; 3/31/10, 11:05 AM
Unknown said...: Seven Machos said...

Bertrand Russell on love? That's a laugh.

One of those who always pushed for disarmament while the bad guys were stocking up. After his kangaroo court of the guys in 'Nam, his opinion on anything is of less than no interest to me.; 3/31/10, 11:23 AM
Joe said...: I've read that quote several times now and it still makes no sense.; 3/31/10, 12:25 PM
Kirk Parker said...: Paul S.,

What????; 3/31/10, 12:34 PM
ricpic said...: Jaltcoh also included this from Russell:

In fact the whole antithesis between self and the rest of the world...disappears as soon as we have any genuine interest in persons or things outside ourselves.

Why not the opposite? Why not find another person (or group of people or entire culture) more antithetical to me the more I get to know him or them or it?

As to things, Picasso said (I'm paraphrasing) that he was at war with everything. Does this mean he had no interest in anything outside himself? Well, he sure as heck wasn't indifferent to the world and the things in it. He was combative. A perfectly legitimate stance.; 3/31/10, 12:48 PM
rcocean said...: I have concur: Paul S - Huh? Suggest you stop relying on film for facts about CS Lewis - or anyone else.

As Russell, look at his almost constant record of adultery, divorce, marriage, re-marriage, womanizing etc, from adolescence to old age. No doubt Russell was happy during all this, but I doubt his girlfriends, wives, and children were.

Taking his advice on love is like taking patriotism lessons from Rev. Wright.; 3/31/10, 10:18 PM
kentuckyliz said...: My dad and brothers are happy at home types, happy to have a loving wife, happy to have children.

Not sure what the big mystery is.; 4/1/10, 1:05 PM
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