Jacob buys Rachel and has to take Leah. These Semitic dudes are too trusting. Facial hair should not scare him. So what if she has more testosterone than he does. Gilette is ready when you are. Maybe he will get the sister and keep Harry too.
Were that the Arabs as wise as the Utopians (link):
"In matching, they adopt a plan which appears to us very extravagant, yet is constantly observed among them and accounted very wise. Before marriage, a grave matron presenteth the bride (be she virgin or widow) naked, to the bridegroom; and after that, some grave man presenteth the bridegroom naked to the bride. We laughed at this, and condemned it as very indecent. They, on the other hand, wondered at the folly of mankind in all other countries; who, if they buy but an inferior horse, examine him all over and take off his trappings; yet a wife, on whom dependeth the happiness of the remainder of life, they take upon trust, regarding only her face, and leaving the rest of her body covered, where contagious and loathsome disorders may lie concealed. All men are not so wise as to choose a woman only for her good qualities; and even the wise consider the body as adding not a little to the mind. It is certain the clothes may conceal some deformity which may alienate a man from his wife when it is too late to part with her. If such a thing be discovered after marriage, he hath no remedy but patience. They therefore think it reasonable, that good care should be taken to guard against such mischievous deception."
JUDGE. So I fell in love with a rich attorney's Elderly, ugly daughter. ... The rich attorney, he jumped with joy, And replied to my fond professions: ... You'll soon get used to her looks," said he, "And a very nice girl you will find her! She may very well pass for forty-three In the dusk, with a light behind her!"
- W. S. Gilbert, Trial by Jury
Wv - brushi ! - why didn't she shave? Only ironrail's Peter would object.
As Joe E. Brown said to Jack Lemmon in the last line of the movie Some Like It Hot after asking the cross dressing Jack to marry him, and getting the response, "But I'm a man"
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20 comments:
Bwahahaha
Poetic justice.
That's what you get when you buy a pig in a poke.
She was bearded and cross-eyed! Honestly, you just cannot make this stuff up. But, hey, she got to keep the 130 grand in loot he bought her.
That's what you get when you buy a pig in a poke.
Better than buying a poke in a pig?
I love western civilization!
I dunno. There's been times when I drank too much, woke up in the morning, and said: OMG.
Jacob buys Rachel and has to take Leah. These Semitic dudes are too trusting. Facial hair should not scare him. So what if she has more testosterone than he does. Gilette is ready when you are. Maybe he will get the sister and keep Harry too.
Were that the Arabs as wise as the Utopians (link):
"In matching, they adopt a plan which appears to us very extravagant, yet is constantly observed among them and accounted very wise. Before marriage, a grave matron presenteth the bride (be she virgin or widow) naked, to the bridegroom; and after that, some grave man presenteth the bridegroom naked to the bride. We laughed at this, and condemned it as very indecent. They, on the other hand, wondered at the folly of mankind in all other countries; who, if they buy but an inferior horse, examine him all over and take off his trappings; yet a wife, on whom dependeth the happiness of the remainder of life, they take upon trust, regarding only her face, and leaving the rest of her body covered, where contagious and loathsome disorders may lie concealed. All men are not so wise as to choose a woman only for her good qualities; and even the wise consider the body as adding not a little to the mind. It is certain the clothes may conceal some deformity which may alienate a man from his wife when it is too late to part with her. If such a thing be discovered after marriage, he hath no remedy but patience. They therefore think it reasonable, that good care should be taken to guard against such mischievous deception."
JUDGE.
So I fell in love with a rich attorney's
Elderly, ugly daughter.
...
The rich attorney, he jumped with joy,
And replied to my fond professions:
...
You'll soon get used to her looks," said he,
"And a very nice girl you will find her!
She may very well pass for forty-three
In the dusk, with a light behind her!"
- W. S. Gilbert, Trial by Jury
Wv - brushi ! - why didn't she shave? Only ironrail's Peter would object.
I dunno. There's been times when I drank too much, woke up in the morning, and said: OMG.
Do you now have a prosthetic arm or was she a heavy sleeper? ;-)
I thought the standard "Best Practice" was go get one's own female relatives to give her th once over?
Caveat Empetor
Why didn't the woman pluck out the hair? And why weren't her eyes already visible?
She keeps the gifts! That may be better than the marriage. Who wants to marry a guy who will dump if you get a few facial hairs?!
Under American law, she probably would have been told to return the gifts because they were made "in comtemplation of marriage."
I'm not drawing any parallels, though.
Jacob buys Rachel and has to take Leah.
My initial thought also...
but does she have wide hips? (good for child-bearing) (and what about her maidservant?)
So the veil of alcohol doesn't work either? DAMMIT!!!
I have seen Arab women pluck chickens in about a minute. Seems like a beard would not be that difficult to deal with.
Ah, my fair beauty. Open up thy curtains that I may see your beautiful kisser.
Arrrggg!
Oh, where you been all my life toots?
Down at toidy-toid and toid avenue, I just got over.
But what if she was a great person who got her wild freak on in bed? We all have minor defects.
After a 130 grand, I'd have gone though with it then accused her of adultery, badda bing, wife gone, next.
Strange that none of the $130K went to depilatories or strabismus surgery.
Maybe "she" was actually Ben Turpin.
As Joe E. Brown said to Jack Lemmon in the last line of the movie Some Like It Hot after asking the cross dressing Jack to marry him, and getting the response, "But I'm a man"
"Well, nobody's perfect"
"Why didn't the woman pluck out the hair? And why weren't her eyes already visible?"
They might have met on eHarmony or Match.com. Veils aren't exclusively for the Islamic, you know.
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