Here at the Madison Airport, where — I might add — security was handled really well. It was better, more organized than before. People had to wait in the line — which wasn't long — so that we went through the boarding pass/ID check more slowly and with some deliberate though unobtrusive personal contact. That meant I had the tables to myself to get my stuff properly arranged in the various busing tubs, with one person (Meade) eventually catching up to me. It wasn't really noticeably slower, just more orderly and careful. I liked not having to feel that I needed to hurry to avoid delaying other people. After the metal detector, I got the pat-down. Meade didn't. Why? I am wearing a long skirt.
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35 comments:
"I got the pat-down. Meade didn't. Why? I am wearing a long skirt."
And I'm wearing pants.
Long pants.
Everybody knows you don't wear the pants in the family son.
"After the metal detector, I got the pat-down."
You didn't get the pat-down because you're wearing a skirt.
You got the pat-down 'cuz you look shifty.
You got the pat-down because you DON'T look shifty so no one will be accused of profiling.
Oh gawd, Carl Dean--again!!!
Oh gawd, Carl Dean--again!!!
Are you going somewhere for an epiphany on Epiphany? (had to)
Be glad you don't have anything metal in your body. Every time The Blonde goes somewhere, wearing a skirt, skort, long pants, shorts, whatever, she just about gets the full body cavity strip search - and she looks like Ann!
Those sexy Midwestern grannies are so dangerous!
Meade said...
"I got the pat-down. Meade didn't. Why? I am wearing a long skirt."
And I'm wearing pants.
Long pants.
Shoulda tried it in shorts ;)
Florida said...
"After the metal detector, I got the pat-down."
You didn't get the pat-down because you're wearing a skirt.
You got the pat-down 'cuz you look shifty.
No, Flo, she got the pat-down 'cuz she looks scrumptious.
PS What is a "busing" tub? I have a couple of images in my head, but I dassent describe them here.
WV "fumies" Comic strips with Smellovision.
It doesn't matter who got a pat down or why at the Madison airport because in the Kabuki Theatre of TSA, patdowns are part of the show. And we shuffle along and are pleased we have the time to organize our stuff before we play our part in the useless, vile, "drama." We are pleased that the TSA people seem so pleasant given the treachery before them, pleased that we passed by, pleased that two attractive middle aged people from the middle west were not, after all, the villans. Weren't we all surprised a little bit about that part of the play? Weren't we amazed that it is never, ever, the nice looking middle aged couple, or the old lady or the three year old who is trundled off in cuffs to "face justice?" Why do we continue to applaud?
See....if everyone just wore skin tight transparent spandex there would be no need for a 'pat down'.
Seriously, this security stuff is patently ridiculous. One of my clients, who is 82 years old, about the size of a sparrow and just as threatening was patted down and removed of her extremely dangerous embroidery thread, tiny embroidery scissors (which were antiques since she had them from age 12 and this made her very very sad) AND her embroidery hoop with half finished work.
Meanwhile Mr. Nigeria Hot Pants gets to waltz onto the plane with a bomb strapped to his dick.
Frankly, I almost wish the plane had blown up over Detroit, so that we would wake the HELL up.
(Actually, I don't wish for anyone's death: just the waking up part. Unfortunately, I think it will take death and a lot of deaths before we get the government to do anything other than pretend Kabuki Theatre as security.)
VW: DUMBO......perfect.
@ Michael
Wow. I was writing Kabuki Theatre at the same time you were posting.
Great minds and all that.
@Harry. Nair. Just sayin'
You know you love a hairy man missy.
Don't fight the feeling.
Get the itch.
"I got the pat-down. Meade didn't. Why?"
This new tactic is supposed to be "randomness". It could have gone either way, or both ways, or neither way. Or, whatever. Just smile at the nice TSA men and women. Things go better when you smile.
Now you should see cousin MT Mellon. That boy is hairless?
Like one of those Taco Bell pups.
Course I am much more loveable.
Your BF Meade likes old saggy stuff.
I am still amazed by the mental poverty and the emotional silliness of the lefty insulters who occasionally post something here that they intend to be negative.
In any case, if I had the choice, I would choose to pat down Ann also.
wv: intro
Yes, was that a pat-down or a feel-up?
Drang! (vw) Nice shot of Meade's dimples, or corrugations, or whatever you call 'em.
Maybe TSA should just use a game spinner to determine who to pat down, if they aren't going to use El Al techniques or profiling.
Dust Bunny Queen said...
See....if everyone just wore skin tight transparent spandex there would be no need for a 'pat down'.
Seriously, this security stuff is patently ridiculous. One of my clients, who is 82 years old, about the size of a sparrow and just as threatening was patted down and removed of her extremely dangerous embroidery thread, tiny embroidery scissors (which were antiques since she had them from age 12 and this made her very very sad) AND her embroidery hoop with half finished work.
Meanwhile Mr. Nigeria Hot Pants gets to waltz onto the plane with a bomb strapped to his dick.
Frankly, I almost wish the plane had blown up over Detroit, so that we would wake the HELL up.
(Actually, I don't wish for anyone's death: just the waking up part. Unfortunately, I think it will take death and a lot of deaths before we get the government to do anything other than pretend Kabuki Theatre as security.)
VW: DUMBO......perfect.
Skin tight spandex? Woman, have you ever seen a website called, "People of Walmart"? The bombers would be a welcome alternative.
As Wesley Pruden once observed, for those with an axe to grind, there's nothing as satisfying as a good, old-fashioned roust. How dare we white-bread middle class Americans fly thither and yon, especially for a vacation, without regard to the poor and suffering of the world, or the ozone layer, or global warming, or climate change, or... whatever grievance the Lefties are peddling this week.
Regarding your friend's scissors, it's amazing the Feds can steal (and that's what it is) stuff and get away with not sending it back. If we were serious enough to tell Jesse Jackson and Chuckie Schumer and all the other faux outraged dhimmi to cram it someplace and adopt Israeli methods (no, Cedar, I don't give a damn), then we really would be safer.
PS Don't worry, DBQ, everybody knows what you meant.
Even the ones who will bitch, "How dast thou?".
WV "bless" (no kidding) What DBQ's friend should be to put up with such an outrage.
Woman, have you ever seen a website called, "People of Walmart"?
OMG!!! I could only make it up to the lady with the bad teeth and horrible fingernails.
Just think of how many of those people probably voted for Obama and who can vote for other things that will change our lives forever, and not for the better!!
Now I'm really scared.
"People of Walmart"?
Please.....assure me that most of those photos were taken during Halloween. please
Well, try an experiment and send Meade through with the skirt next time. And take pics...
It's a nice airport, ain't it?
People talk about Kabuki theater, but as a dyed-in-the-wool Eurocentric, I'd like to remind everyone that we had our own traditions of weirdly stylized theater.
You've heard of Molière, but you probably haven't seen what, say, Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme actually looked and sounded like. Here is a long video of how an original production may have appeared, complete with period music, lighting, makeup, and, what is reminiscent of Kabuki, stylized movements, including the famous French hand gestures, all of which meant something quite specific. And, most Kabuki of all, stage assistants in pancake makeup, dressed in black and brown, carrying bits of foliage to represent a garden.
So, you don't need to go all the way to Japan for very odd theater. Just France. The wine's better, too.
Also, Moslems with swords were a topic for satire, even, or especially, in 1670, as you can see in this video of the famous cérémonie turque from the same production of Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme. (Stick with it. It gets better.) Poor M. Jourdan was such a social climber that he was willing to marry his daughter off to the pretended son of the Sultan, and be ennobled himself by the "Turks" in the ridiculous ceremony you see. Still, M. Jourdan, despite everything, got the last laugh in the end, but it took 5 acts to get there.
Somehow, guys with turbans and swords never made it into Kabuki, which is another reason to call what the TSA does, "Classic French Theatre."
I think the Ghost of Molière could do a much better job scripting security procedures than Janet Napolitano. After all, Louis XIV expelled the Italian players, having seen what bad performances they turned in.
Damn son that was a whole lot that meant what ezactly?
Well, Harry, let's jes' say we're fucked.
Clear enuff?
Son now you are making sense.
I just couldn't figger what Michael Jordan had to do with this is all. I dindn know he was french. I thought he was from North Calinky.
I know if I were a TSA mutt and had to choose whom to pat down, I would choose Althouse over Meade. And I'm sure Meade would have made the same choice.
@edutcher: "Regarding your friend's scissors, it's amazing the Feds can steal (and that's what it is) stuff and get away with not sending it back."
Dude, didn't you know that they take it and sell it on ebay?
I almost missed a plane once b/c I had forgotten to pack my very expensive cigar lighter ($300+, shut up, it was a good time in consulting) and they, of course, found it. I was given the option of mailing it (illegal as heck) or getting AA to "find" my bags and put it in there.
I went back through security, broke the lighter, and then went back through and tossed it very sweetly into the 'put your illegal stuff here' bin. The TSA guy who wanted to confiscate it had a hissy fit and triple screened me.
Ah, well, thus I drive to DC tomorrow instead of flying.
-XC
I flew out of SFO yesterday and
a blond cougar in front of me in line rated a pat down. I have no idea why as she was wearing a skin tight sweater with a plunging neckline and sprayed-on jeans. Trust me, she wasn't hiding anything. It did make me wonder why padded pushup bras and quad D implants aren't banned.
I thought everyone seemed more patient and better prepared for screening than usual.
However, outside the terminal the SFPD was in high dudgeon lest cars slow under 30 miles an hour whilst disembarking passengers.
I can't wait to do it all again in-bound in Spanglish.
Expat(ish) said...
@edutcher: "Regarding your friend's scissors, it's amazing the Feds can steal (and that's what it is) stuff and get away with not sending it back."
Dude, didn't you know that they take it and sell it on ebay?
As the astute Mr. Pruden said, "roust". This is Norman Mineta's revenge for Manzanar.
BJM said...
I flew out of SFO yesterday and a blond cougar in front of me in line rated a pat down. I have no idea why as she was wearing a skin tight sweater with a plunging neckline and sprayed-on jeans. Trust me, she wasn't hiding anything. It did make me wonder why padded pushup bras and quad D implants aren't banned.
That would take all the fun out of the job. They've already got the profit angle nailed.
From the miniseries
Conversations at the Checkpoint
by
AllenS
Security Guard: "Excuse me ma'm, but I'll have to pat you down."
Meade: "I already did that."
Fin
I'm a single male and almost always travel alone. And I *swear* that the Rochester, NY, airport is a TSA training location (why else does somewhere so relatively unimportant have a puffer?). I get searched all the time.
Of course, maybe the goatee just look shifty?
Wow, look at the James Bond/Dead Tired look on Althouse!
Oh, I misunderstood some things in the post from a few days ago; I thought you'd be driving to Austin, not flying, and that it wouldn't be quite so soon.
Feel free to wave when you fly over Dallas on your way back...
PS What is a "busing" tub? I have a couple of images in my head, but I dassent describe them here.
I'm guessing she means the tubs you put your shoes, wallet, etc. into when going through security, which look a lot like the ones used when busing tables at a restaurant.
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