October 25, 2009

Oh, Bissage, et al., you have made Althouse so very much better than I am.

I'm just reading the comments on yesterday's carrot post. ("Shed a tear for the orange and its desperate problems.")

Campy started us off at a high level by referencing one of this blog's most controversial posts:
Carrot sticks! Where are the onion rings?
So, yes, we know what the carrots are.

Mr. Forward introduced a classic "orange" subject:
Nothing rhymes with orange.
Hector Owen responded:
I suppose, if one were to make a ceramic porringer, and glaze it the color of those carrots, and set it on the table with other things that did not include carrots, or yams, or (of course) oranges, that one could then proudly say, "Nothing is oranger than my porringer!"

Still, nothing rhymes with "orange." Now, if that porringer had a flange … no, the "a" would still be different.
I thought the right answer was "door hinge."

Lucid sledgehammers the meaning of the post:
This is clearly a very penetrating (???!!!!) photographic comment: While women (pink) are to be carefully considered, the photographer also feels concern for the tribulations of men and their special appendages.
Freeman Hunt provides an amazing list of things that an orange ribbon is supposed to reflect/create awareness of — according to this creepy awareness site:
Agent OrangeCultural Diversity
Feral Cats
Motorcycle Safety
Racial Tolerance
Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome
Self Injury
Not prostate cancer, though. Prostate cancer gets light blue. Get it?

Freeman Hunt had an afterthought:
Why is there a ribbon for feral cats but not feral dogs?

I think it's more important to be aware of feral dogs because they could kill you.

Feral cats, not so much. You could probably throw a crazy cat away from you if it attacked you. Man > cat.
Ironrailsironweights said:
Self Injury...

Somehow I never thought of that as a "cause" requiring the ribbon treatment.
Maybe these people crave (carve) attention.

Michaele said:
There's some sad orange wearers right this minute 'cause University of TN just missed knocking off #1 Alabama...the score was 12 to 10 and UT had a chance at making a field goal in the last couple of seconds.
Knox(ville) — who "just ordered myself a black 'Amish Support' ribbon car magnet!" — said:
Yeah, yeah, keep it to yourself.

Oh, who am I kidding, I don't give a sh*t about football.

You are talking about football, right?
Leland said...
Texas A&M, in the[ir] hatred for University of Texas and all things orange, learned how to grow maroon carrots.
 Libhom said:
This post is as senseless as everything else on this blog.
Chip Ahoy said:
This post has no meaning!

Just like everything else on this blog -- meaningless.

Just like my life has no meaning. Except for the meaning I give it by spending time here noting your abject absence of meaning and returning regularly and reaffirming that observation and then setting aside my other meaninglessness to take the time and effort to remark on your meaninglessness, even so far as to bother with a CAPTCHA to do it. Yes, that's right, my remark on your meaningless blog does have meaning although I assert your blog that I make the remark on does not.

But then I wouldn't recognize meaning if it jumped up and bit my penis. I do not understand photography or art or getting out and seeing my city or recording it with my own unique eye and through my own lens, or forests or farmers market or flower boxes, animals or odd things in nature or within human constructions. They're meaningless to me! Now, start being meaningful Goddamnit! And give me something meaningful to foul.

Then my other self says,

I once had a careless carrot patch. There was loose tilled dirt directly under an air conditioner that dripped steadily throughout the hot summer directly onto that patch of dirt, so watering was automatic. I had a packet of carrot seeds that I broadcast into the soil and, being an ordinary kid, didn't pay much attention to them thereafter, just checked back occasionally. The plants are beautiful at every stage of development, more so because they were not arranged in tight farmerly rows. At first the foliage looks like delicate little green feathers, then lacy ferns, then they expand, fill in, and strengthen to proper deep dark green carrot tops. The bright orange carrot roots were delicious.
LoafingOaf said:
These are gross looking carrots. They look like fucked up fingers or pathetic penises or something. Ick.
Uh, yeah. Have you no pity! Why are cancerous breasts a big warm fuzzy cause, but a pathetic penis is just something against which to hurl contempt? Sexist. You must wear a light blue ribbon for penance. Penis penance.

And yet the Oaf continues:
I have a question. Why is everything that Obama says or does horribly wrong to Althouse and her commenters, yet Dick Cheney is such a hero the Althouse world wants to build him a statue in Madison? Is Obama really that awful and Cheney really that righteous? Or is this blog getting carried away by the right wing?
(Link added.)

Bissage said:
I find myself disappointed that Loafing Oaf didn’t post a link to his blog where we’d all find his twelve point plan specifying what each and every one of us should do to make Althouse so very much better than it is.
Oh, Bissage, et al., you have made Althouse so very much better than I am.


Ron said...

Posts like this make me feel this blog is truly Panglossian; everything is best in this the best of all possible posts.

Maybe not so much a theme, but pick a color for the day, not pink or orange...or maybe a food!

John Thacker said...

I thought the right answer was "door hinge."

No, the authority on this, Curse of Monkey Island, clearly ruled out "door hinge."

Anonymous said...

A woman tried to give me a pink ribbon the other day.
I asked her what it was for and when she said breast cancer, I said "for or against?"
I thought she was going to have a stroke.

Kirk Parker said...

"Freeman Hunt had an afterthought:

Why is there a ribbon for feral cats but not feral dogs?

I think it's more important to be aware of feral dogs because they could kill you.

Feral cats, not so much.

OK, so Freeman hates songbirds. Noted...

EDH said...

Those bundled carrots reminded me of some form of forced relocation.

Each an individual with a different emotional reaction the shared condition, but all bound together sharing a common destiny not of their choice.

miller said...

The color combination of pink and orange is especially not felicitous.

Wen said...

I learned of poor Orange's fate years ago from an old 45 of songs from H.R.Pufnstuf.
Witchipoo sings:
Oranges poranges, WHO CARES?
Oranges poranges, WHO CARES?
Oranges poranges, WHO CARES?
There ain't no rhyme for oranges

Robert said...

I can't believe that readers of this blog are forced to view these senseless, meaningless pages. Damn you and your thought control rays, Althouse!

Personally, I am still trying to shake the image of Jennifer Aniston in the shower brushing her teeth. If Ms. Aniston really wants to save the planet she should make a video, sell it on Ebay, and give the proceeds to her favorite eco-charity. THAT would be a substantial sum of money.

Wen said...

Here's a link to Witchipoo doing her thing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDoSl-M5tmM
I've had the song all wrong in my head forever and my 45 had that song by Jimmy!

Cedarford said...

Robert - Personally, I am still trying to shake the image of Jennifer Aniston in the shower brushing her teeth.

Why? THe mental image of Jennifer Anistons wet soapy yabboos swaying and jiggling while she furiously brushes her teeth is not an unpleasant one.
Now the image of Michael Moore jiggling in his 3-min shower while he brushes teeth with one hand while trying to locate his genitals with the other to soap them up - IS pretty unpleasant.

Kudos to Freeman Hunt for linking that creepy site. "Got a disease, want to know the appropriate color for awareness of not just disease but feral cats and nonexistent POW/MIAs? We can sell you the right color "awareness ribbons" or wristbands."

I still think I an onto something with my "awareness idea". When I urge passing out free cigarettes with breast cancer awareness ribbons on the filters.
And candy cigarettes with candy ribbons for the kids.

I did notice the "symbolic awareness color" for testicular cancer was orchid. Which is a play on latin for nuts, or it could be just that people who have their nuts cut off develop an appreciation for colors like mauve and orchid - once nutless.

Robert said...

Please Cedarford- subtlety, subtlety. For goodness sakes, are you trying to cause mental illness?

kentuckyliz said...

I was sleepless last night and stayed up late in bed watching a PBS documentary on Butte, Montana.

After the Anaconda mine closed, the unemployed miners occupied themselves with making a ginormous statue of the Madonna and erecting it on the ridge overlooking Butte, on the Continental Divide, Our Lady of the Rockies.

I think the ginormous statue of Dick Cheney should be erected atop the Grand Tetons, which are just outside his hometown of Jackson Hole, WY. This would be an appropriate homage to the giant size of his cajones.

Stephen C. Carlson said...

I once knew a man from Blorenge,
Whose surname he said was Gorringe.
I couldn't believe
that I could finally retrieve
two words that do rhyme with "orange."

Ralph L said...

hometown of Jackson Hole
I thought he was from Casper. Jackson is full of rich liberals--they'd never allow it to be built.

Hector Owen said...

"Door hinge?" Maybe …

Say there, Uncle Ebenezer,
Have you seen the orange squeezer?
No, but you can squeeze your orange
In the jamb, next to the door hinge.