Althouse: Does this refrigerator turn you on?

September 21, 2009

Does this refrigerator turn you on?

"... Corey Mintz is so proud of his well-stocked, spotless refrigerator that he sends pictures of its interior to girls he's wooing and has used it in place of a headshot on his online dating profile..."

64 comments:

Triangle Man said...: Is he thin? Because if we learned nothing else from Seinfeld, we should at least remember that being single, thin and neat make one seem gay.; 9/21/09, 11:24 AM
Chennaul said...: He's got too many pickles.; 9/21/09, 11:24 AM
Chennaul said...: Sometimes a banana is only a banana-but sometimes it's not.; 9/21/09, 11:25 AM
Bissage said...: Smart move. Women can be sure he’ll never ask for help to find the mayonnaise.; 9/21/09, 11:26 AM
The Crack Emcee said...: What-a-doofus. Reminds me of these guys. And what kind of woman responds to a refrigerator?

I am too, too fucking alienated - and I think that's healthy.; 9/21/09, 11:27 AM
Methadras said...: Spiderman is sitting on his pickles. That's not cool.; 9/21/09, 11:28 AM
Peter Hoh said...: Now I know how I landed my wife.; 9/21/09, 11:30 AM
Anonymous said...: And yet, he would place his penis inside someone he met on the internet.

Yewwwwww.; 9/21/09, 11:34 AM
former law student said...: Spiderman is sitting on his pickles.

I'm pretty sure that's what weeds the incompatible chicks out.

"Are action figures scattered around the house a deal breaker for you? What about a plethora of pickles?"; 9/21/09, 11:35 AM
rcocean said...: Single man who cares about a clean, well stocked Refrigerator = Tres Gay; 9/21/09, 11:35 AM
MadisonMan said...: Florida, if I weren't in a room with other people, I would have laughed out loud.; 9/21/09, 11:37 AM
Lem Vibe Bandit said...: What's is he going for.. Walt Kowalski?

wv - custio; 9/21/09, 11:38 AM
David said...: Why didn't Jeff Dahmer think of this?; 9/21/09, 11:40 AM
Meade said...: Whatever happened to the time-honored approach of wooing women with one's big penis?; 9/21/09, 11:43 AM
pro said...: Well he sure has lots of condiments, I guess. Other than that, it's just yogurt, pickled stuff, and vegetables.; 9/21/09, 11:45 AM
bearbee said...: Kudos on cleanliness but it needs pizzazz.

It is a dull, colorless looking stock, and lacking an array of fresh fruits and veggies.

Of course if he's a chef he might immediately put fruits and veggies to use rather than refrigerate.

Still for purely aesthetic purposes he could include a carrot or two.; 9/21/09, 11:47 AM
AlmaGarret said...: I'd only be impressed if it were a Sub Zero, the one with the glass doors. Some other lesser brand, not so much.; 9/21/09, 11:48 AM
former law student said...: the time-honored approach of wooing women with one's big penis?

In my youth all you had to do was lick your eyebrows.; 9/21/09, 11:49 AM
Chennaul said...: Shorter Meade-

I won.; 9/21/09, 11:50 AM
Michael Haz said...: Does he keep his mice lab in super-clean condition? That's a big turn-on these days.; 9/21/09, 11:51 AM
DADvocate said...: But I still contend that a clean icebox does not a man make.

ABSOLUTELY!!! The second comment at the article, "I think it's kinda hot, but I'm a gay guy. Maybe not the response he was looking for?" Like rcocean, that's what I would have expected.

More: He obsessively packages and labels his sauces and glazes and eliminates any item at the first sight or smell of rottenness. I don't label anything and don't throw it out until I can't recognize it anymore.; 9/21/09, 11:54 AM
former law student said...: bearbee: he's got a bag of "baby" carrot. And a tomatillo, I think. He's trying to look sophisticated.; 9/21/09, 11:55 AM
Shanna said...: The only man know who had a refrigerator that clean is gay.; 9/21/09, 11:55 AM
former law student said...: Oh poop. There's a crumb under my "S" key.; 9/21/09, 11:55 AM
Dust Bunny Queen said...: Nope. Labeling his leftovers? Way to anal

The guy would probably be a neat freak: impossible to live with. Yell at you for squeezing the toothpaste tube the wrong way, not folding the socks correctly. Probably wants his underwear ironed.

No thanks.

Life is too important to spend it with an anal clean freak. A little clutter is good for the soul. There was a reason I called myself Dust Bunny Queen.; 9/21/09, 11:59 AM
Chennaul said...: Look I should offer refrigerator "staging services"....

Chocolate.

Champagne-[romantic-fake it-we do.]

Eggs.

Cheese.

Pre-made salads.

Sliced meat.

Easy fruit.

A variety of fruit juice, one or two "exotic" blends.

Cigars.[for the Liberals-Cubans even bettuh..]

Fresh salmon.

Smoked salmon...

And something mysteriously wrapped labeled-sweets.

Two pastry items and you should have a date in seven days flat.; 9/21/09, 12:00 PM
The Crack Emcee said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9/21/09, 12:01 PM
David said...: Meade said...
"Whatever happened to the time-honored approach of wooing women with one's big penis?"

That still works, but generally not as an opening gambit on the internet.; 9/21/09, 12:03 PM
Chennaul said...: Left overs from an independent restaurant and half and half-to close the deal.; 9/21/09, 12:04 PM
A.W. said...: Mmmm, you have to figure the kind of woman that this would appeal to, would be exactly the kind of person he would want. Its sort of like announcing you are a trekkie right up front, then you weed out alot of people with whom it just wouldn't have worked out with anyway.

At least i think.

Then again, i pretty much blundered into finding the love of my life, so what do i know?; 9/21/09, 12:11 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "...generally not as an opening gambit on the internet..."

What you want there is: witty comments.; 9/21/09, 12:11 PM
Chennaul said...: Ya but you asked for pictures -first..; 9/21/09, 12:18 PM
traditionalguy said...: Eat, eat, eat...doesn't anyone shrinkwrap leftovers anymore?The acid test is what is in the back...is it 3years passed expiration dates? I bet this guy is a phony who just hired a woman to put all this together for him. I suppose all is fair in getting laid. But without a bottle of Champagne, what will his refridgerator full of labeled leftovers do for any new woman except make her feel unneeded? He needs to stick to lab rats.; 9/21/09, 12:24 PM
Chip Ahoy said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9/21/09, 12:25 PM
Chip Ahoy said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9/21/09, 12:28 PM
Chip Ahoy said...: Damnit.

Nine out of ten refrigerists agree, milk stored in the door is wrong.; 9/21/09, 12:30 PM
Chip Ahoy said...: I don't see any eggs, and for a chef, a paltry amount of cheese.

I have homemade pickles too, except mine are cut so more fit into the jar. They're the best. I do not understand how dill has the lockdown on 90% of the pickles, nearly any other flavor you can think of is better.; 9/21/09, 12:34 PM
Chris Arabia said...: to paraphrase oscar from the office: "other than having sex with men, this is the gayest thing about corey."; 9/21/09, 12:52 PM
Anonymous said...: He was "a control freak" who insisted on fridge cleanliness and "had issues" with the way she kept hers.; 9/21/09, 12:56 PM
Joe said...: I want to visit and when he's not looking, rearrange everything.

This reminds me of people who freak out when you actually read their coffee table books and magazine.; 9/21/09, 1:06 PM
MadisonMan said...: ...and although I like the fact that the milk is in a glass bottle -- much better tasting -- there sure aren't many dairy products. Does he want his future wife to have osteoporosis?; 9/21/09, 1:06 PM
Leland said...: Neat maybe, but if he eats that stuff regularly I'd be worried about his breath.

And whatever is in that "Candy" dish... um... no.

wv: ejecturv The end product if this refrigerator did turn you on.; 9/21/09, 1:07 PM
Shanna said...: But without a bottle of Champagne, what will his refridgerator full of labeled leftovers do for any new woman except make her feel unneeded?

I think this would have worked if it were a refrigerator stocked with fake stuff that was obviously an attempt to appeal, like Champagne, strawberries, roses, chocolate...maybe some stuff for breakfast in bed, he could have done this right and come off very clever.; 9/21/09, 1:11 PM
Kate Gosselin said...: I humbly offer myself as a sex slave to the man who cleans (AND KEEPS CLEAN) a refrigerator like this.; 9/21/09, 1:18 PM
Chennaul said...: Well I want a guy that looks ready to celebrate at a moments notice, and has some variety, a dash of the exotic -can cook but also has something on hand for raids...

Bonus!

Who wants to have to wait around for the cook or to cook always.

Pickles is about all he has that's readily available.

Blah...

and too many of 'em.

Balance.

Which means he can make up for any lack in the above areas in other departments...-[just in case my boy guy is reading this....heh.]

I'm not into feng shui or however the hell you spell it but-; 9/21/09, 1:38 PM
Chennaul said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9/21/09, 1:40 PM
Chennaul said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9/21/09, 1:42 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: Oh great, so if this works out I'll have the refridgerator-Nazi hounding me all the time.; 9/21/09, 2:04 PM
AlmaGarret said...: Did he make the labels with the Label Baby Junior? If so, he may have a problem with those labels dropping off ...; 9/21/09, 2:11 PM
Allison said...: Would that all possible suitors declare their insanity this clearly.

WV: bilab: 15 minutes to an attorney.; 9/21/09, 2:12 PM
Kev said...: (the other kev)

So I'm guessing he only gets responses from fat chicks?; 9/21/09, 2:42 PM
Kirk Parker said...: "Shorter Meade"

In the current context, that almost seems like an insult.; 9/21/09, 3:50 PM
Chennaul said...: Well I think Ann is a closet Reaganite-

She asked for pictures first-

Trust but verify...

Words to live by...; 9/21/09, 3:52 PM
Tibore said...: "David said...

Meade said...
"Whatever happened to the time-honored approach of wooing women with one's big penis?"

That still works, but generally not as an opening gambit on the internet.

What internet are you looking at?; 9/21/09, 4:11 PM
Tibore said...: "... Corey Mintz is so proud of his well-stocked, spotless refrigerator that he sends pictures of its interior to girls he's wooing and has used it in place of a headshot on his online dating profile..."

You see, that's actually unfair. It's not the sight of my fridge's contents that's the problem. :(; 9/21/09, 4:11 PM
Unknown said...: The man who can point a webcam at the floor beside his toilet and NOT show a sticky yellow glaze on the tiles gets an all-access pass with me.; 9/21/09, 4:39 PM
former law student said...: ... NOT show a sticky yellow glaze on the tiles ...

German women have been fighting for this for years. Here's a reproduction of a decal frequently seen on toilet lid undersides:

http://eraser.spreadshirt.net/de/DE/Shop/Article/Index/article/Sitzpinkler-2232988; 9/21/09, 5:02 PM
knox said...: Sends pictures to girls??

Really??

This is a very gay obsession. And I mean that as a compliment. My gay male friends have the best kitchens.; 9/21/09, 5:04 PM
Kurt said...: Hey, that refrigerator looks just like my new Whirlpool Energy Star fridge--but with different stuff inside, of course.... :-D; 9/21/09, 10:07 PM
Gina said...: What are the turbaned items in the door?; 9/21/09, 10:33 PM
Andrea said...: "What are the turbaned items in the door?"

Herbs, I believe. You're supposed to store things like fresh basil and parsley in bunches with their stems in a jar of water and their leaves covered. So at least he's got the "fresh herbs" thing going. But those sure are a lot of pickles, and most women I know would see all those plastic boxes as "leftovers" and be turned off.

And to someone above: cigars? In the fridge? Ew! Everything will smell like tobacco! Besides, cigars should be stored in a humidor -- anything less is crass.; 9/22/09, 8:46 AM
Gina said...: Can't fault the man for pickles. They're a lowfat snack and sometimes satisfy the urge for salt and crunch. Sooometimes.; 9/22/09, 10:43 AM
michael a. livingston said...: I wouldn't trust anyone, male or female, who was that compulsive.; 9/22/09, 4:30 PM
Ern said...: "Well-stocked" refrigerator? He's a man, there's no beer in the refrigerator, and it's "well-stocked"?

Maybe the fact that I'm asking this question explains why I'm still single.; 9/22/09, 5:10 PM