June 20, 2009

Unlike President Obama, I cannot kill an insect.

Now, admittedly, it's not a fly. I won't say I wouldn't harm a fly. In fact, what the hell is that thing? What feelers! I've never seen such feelers!

IN THE COMMENTS: Peter Hoh said:

With those feelers, it must be some sort of empathy beetle.


JAL said...

Capture it using a small cup or galss. Slide a piece of paper between the bug and the window / screen. With hour hand safely protected on the paper, kick the screen door open and pop him/her outside.

There. All better?

He is not a bad bug. Just an ugly bug with a dusty antenna.

JAL said...

Why did I never get the feeling you were a wimp?

rhhardin said...

They save you from dusting behind the couch.

bearbee said...

7 minute bug video?!! I fast-forwarded thinking to see a satisfactory and humane resolution.

Why didn't you just slide open the screen?


BTW has Meade made a showing since the bug appeared?........ooooweeeeeooooo

Jason (the commenter) said...

I think it's a Whitespotted Sawyer. It definitely doesn't look like a stink bug. By the way, that popping sound you heard when Made killed the bug was probably its exoskeleton cracking.

Lem said...

From 'Infinite Jest'

The dream is that you awaken from a deep sleep, wake up suddenly damp and panicked and are overwhelmed with the sudden feeling that there is a distillation of total evil in this dark strange room with you, that evils essence and center is right here, in this room, right now.


I better get my camera ;)

Ann Althouse said...

"Why didn't you just slide open the screen?"

I was making a movie.

@Lem LOL.

Lem said...

I was making a movie.

Thats exactly what Glenn Gould would have wanted.

I lifted it from your profile.

Lem said...

Come to think of it.

Glenn Gould would have been an amazing blogger.

Paco Wové said...

Sorry, Althouse, you would not last ten seconds versus a genuine Floridian "palmetto bug".

FYI, for any given unknown insect, there's better than a 75% chance it's a beetle of some kind.

quidnunc savant said...

strangly, I couldn't avert my attention from this video. I really need to get a life.

kjbe said...

Paco, this is why I like the winters in Wisconsin. They have a tendency to keep the number or size of those types of things away...

traditionalguy said...

You're all woman Professor. Any man who has hiked the Appalachian Trail, or just been on boy scout campouts, would know that this bug is a harmless leaf walking type bug. When wasps or yellow jackets come around, then you can call for help. Nice narration.

Jennifer said...

Why do they try to make palmetto bugs sound all exotic and tropical? Cockroaches with armor, I say.

former law student said...

A woods cockroach?

Parcoblatta pennsylvanica


Paco Wové said...

Why do they try to make palmetto bugs sound all exotic and tropical? 

An acquaintance booked a hotel room in the Keys once. He and his new bride (both lifelong midwesterners) opened the door and found it already hosting a considerable party of cockroaches. Aghast, he went back to the desk to complain, only to be told, "Oh no sir, those aren't cockroaches. Those are palmetto bugs."

blogging cockroach said...

hi professor
nice to see an insect featured
in a movie even if it is a beetle
you know you can never trust
a beetle because they ll do whatever
looks like one of those outdoorsy
gardening type beetles who just
aren t used to civilized life indoors
and can t even keep his antennae clean
without lolling around in pine trees
and unlike me i d bet if you ignore him
he will go back to his garden a s a p
i won t make too strong a case for my own
outdoorsy southern cousins who are a
bit boorish and embarrasing you know
we up north won the civil war which
i m reminded of every time i scurry over
to nearby memorial hall here in cambridge
i m telling you my sort are much more
sophisticated for example i dine on
french cuisine when i find it behind
the stove even though it is a pain
but you can see the trouble i take
to appreciate the finer things in life

Peter Hoh said...

With those feelers, it must be some sort of empathy beetle.

Jennifer said...

Ha, Paco Wove. Certainly your friends happily filed back to their room, their concerns assauged.

Call it whatever you want, I can see that it's an armored cockroach. With my eyes. So, why try?

Lem said...

You know what if this bug film is a hoax?

The bug only pretended to be trapped.

That's the only way it makes any sense ;)

jayne_cobb said...

At least it's not one of those damnable stink bugs.

garage mahal said...

You can stomp on those Palmettos 5 or 6 times and they just keep running. The wife hated those things when we lived in FL.

Ann Althouse said...

It's not that woods cockroach, fls. The proportions are wrong and the shape at the base of the thorax is different.

David said...

Biggest feelers ever?

It's a Titusbug.

Cedarford said...

Last summer, my wife yelled at me to come kill a spider. Now, normally, she is a casual, cold-blooded murderer of objectionable insects, so I knew something was up..

It was a huge-ass wolf spider, as big as my stretched-out hand, as big as a tarantula. (though not as heavy).

I half jokingly said I was afraid to try and kill it and risk pissing it off.
And asked her if she might like to try feeding it a little hamburger, befriend it, make it sort of a house pet who could make short work of any other insect intruders...or any bats, birds, or field mice that strayed into the house. And could snuggle up with us on cold nights.....

She gave me a very clear answer.

So out came a big tupperware bowl. Trapped the critter. Then walked a good 200 yards with the Mrs to dump the arachnid I now had named "Wolfy" into a thicket.

To her relief, several days of my opening the door, whistling, and yelling "Wolfy! Come home! Come home, now!" failed to cause it's return..

Of course overseas, there are worse. I stomped a giant centipede once in a darkened tent in Kuwait under dim red light (war-time blackout - Gulf War) over a foot long. Then on picking it up, quite dead, found out it was actually a snake. A highly poisonous Asp snake, it turned out. (Kuwait liaison: "Oh, we have them. Yes. Burrowing asp. But do not worry. They are not that common! The centipedes that may look like them to you unfamiliar Europeans are far more numerous, but not nearly as poisonous.")

The scorpions were worse than the giant centipedes. (The centipedes were not aggressive. Scorpions were of an inclination to strike just as soon as not. And more plentiful than the centipedes, which actually were only out and about for about a week, then disappeared.) Never get into the bunk without shaking out sheets. Never put clothes and boots on without shaking them out. It took me months to get out of the habit of shaking stuff - shoes, boots, and sneakers in particular - once back Stateside..

Cedarford said...

Palmetto bugs - The Schwarzeneggers of the cockroach world.

TitusTwitteringFromIran said...

Titus here, twittering from Iran.

Protests r hot.

Pulled 2 trains so far.

Wearing Green Jeans to show soliditary.

Lots of hot hog.

TitusTwitteringFromIran said...

Gng to Salim's house 4 hog.

Stop The Killing.

Count my vote.

Lem said...

When I was little I remember a tradition in DR of singing "la cucaracha" at what was called "despedida de soltero" or batchelor party. (Nothing like what's devolved into btw)

La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
The cockroach, the cockroach,

ya no puede caminar
can't walk anymore

porque le falta, porque le falta
because it doesn't have, because it's lacking

somebody comes in singing the name of some generic household item as a wedding present.

Unknown said...

Longicorn beetle. Silhouetted, can't tell species.

garage mahal said...

Following Titus' twittering is riveting stuff. But no dispatches since 1:57pm. Hope he is okay and all is well.

AlmaGarret said...

Here in Northern California we have a charming bug called a Jerusalem cricket. A friend who had only moved to California from the east coast months before, once called me in a panic. There was a huge, grotesque looking creature in her kitchen. Turned out to be a Jerusalem cricket. Evidently they aren't harmful to humans, just freaky-looking. And thankfully rather shy. The one in her house showed up only because there was some remodeling going on and it had been disturbed.

Wince said...

Maybe his antennae are messed-up by the digital TV conversion?

Though it would appear the remnant of another insect's sticky web is a component of the "dust bunny" plaguing that bug's antenna.

blogging cockroach said...

those are not empathy antennas
they are just the remains of
a bad beetle haircut

John Burgess said...

Longhorn beetle for sure. As with Oligonicella, the exact species needs a better picture to resolve.

John Burgess said...

Oh, and palmetto bugs aren't a big deal. Just give them names and treat them like pets and all is well.

They're not like the stinky German or brown roaches, scuttling around like representatives found with cash in the freezer. They're actually very laid back, slow to reproduce, and generally inoffensive, excepting of course that they're roaches.

steve said...

My mom hated bugs too. She just sucked them up with the vacuum

Nasty, Brutish & Short said...

When we lived in Columbia-Tusculum (been there yet?) we were in this weird micro-climate where we had all these southern bugs and lots of Lazarus lizzard. LOTS OF THEM. Anyway, we also had Southern Ohio's Biggest Bugs. In the basement (hand dug, in 1890) we had enormous "spickets." Never knew exactly what they were, but they looked like this cross between spiders and crickets. So we called them spickets.

Peter Hoh said...

A favorite big bug: the Dobson Fly.