Two Irishmen are in a lifeboat stranded at sea when one sees a bottle floating in the water. He picks it up and opens the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says that he'll grant them one wish and immediately Sean O'Toole says: "I want you to turn the whole ocean into Guinness. The genie snaps his fingers and the ocean turns into Guinness. Paddy Hoolihan looks at Sean and says: "That was brillian ya fookin bastard. Now we have to piss in the boat."
This is from University of Arkansas. But just so you all can get the facts straight, I'll post it here: St. Patrick, born in Britain as Maewyn Succat in 387 AD and fathered by a Roman officer, was sent to Ireland in 432 as a missionary to convert the masses to Christianity. His most famous legend, that he drove the snakes from Ireland, is really a metaphor for driving the Druids, the shaman and magicians of the Celts from the Green Isle. He died in 461 on March 8 or March 9.
Because no agreement could be reached on which day he died, the holiday is celebrated on the 17th of March, the sum of 8 and 9. The first St. Patrick's day was celebrated in the U.S. in Boston in 1737. Thanks to the Irish potato famine of the 1840's, we have more people of Irish descent in the U.S. than in Ireland.
St Joseph's day is very italian too, I'll be having burdock root anyway.
Ann, you're welcome to some if you want to purify your blood after all those good eats in the tristate. I noticed immediately your hair was frizzier in the wine drinking pick so I knew you were further south and near a watering hole or river. The power of observation.
If I didn't have a night class, I'd be at Parasol's Bar in the Irish Channel all fookin' day. Hmmm. It's online. In Second Life. Perhaps one Guiness, for lunch. Plenty of time to sober up before 7. Two, even. A girl needs her iron and nutrients.
St. Joseph's is a good day, too; are St. Joseph Day altars popular where any of you folks be? At churches and in private homes, people put up a big table and cover it in lenten food (Italian cookies, bread, fish) and lucky fava beans.
Oops. My apologies - be forewarned, that St. Joseph's Day link opens up to a page playing a midi-version of Ave Maria. If you follow it, you might want to hit the mute button.
Tommy Callahan is walking in the park with his son Timmy when Timmy spots one Irish setter mounting the other one. “Da, what they doing?” Timmy asks. “Well laddie, they’re making puppies.” Later that night Mr. Callahan is giving Mrs. Callahan the high hard one when little Timmy walks in and sees them. “Da, what you doin to Ma?” Timmy asks. “Well ya see laddie, you’re Ma and me are makin a baby.”
“Ah hell Da….” says little Timmy. “Roll her over. I’d rather have a puppy.”
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39 comments:
Happy St. Patrick's Day Fuckers!
Wish I could buy everyone chez Althouse a Guinness, even that commie liberal, garage mahal.
Happy Birthday, John Althouse Cohen.
Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?
Thanks!
AllenS
C'mon it's St Pats Day! You know, Irish, swearing. A term of endearment, if you will. Plus, I'm very Irish.
I'm not Irish. When English-Scandihoovian mutts get a day, let me know.
Happy Birthday JAC. Hope it's stellar. If you were in WI, you'd be basking in unnatural delightful warmth.
The green pants are especially nice, today, Meade.
@AllenS What's wrong with fucking? I thought garage was taking an appropriately festive attitude.
How do you think I managed to have a child anyway?
England, get out of Ireland, begorrah!
I have been shamed by the Althouse.
Happy birthday, Master Cohen!
Here's wishing you pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars and green clovers!
You meant red stars. And little red books.
Does this mean that I can drink Guinness and get rowdy today? Here's to the best tradition of the Saint of Ireland's Day. Hurah!
Today is St. Patrick's day and everyone will be wearing buttons saying kiss me I'm Irish.
March 19 is St. Joseph's day and everone will be wearing buttons saying kiss me I'm Italian or kiss me I'm Polish.
I feel sorry for the Greeks. They can never have a day of their own. Somehow buttons saying fuck me I'm Greek just don't go over well.
Happy Birthday JAC - you share the day with my daughter.
You know what the Irishman did with his first fifty cent piece don't ya?
.
.
.
He married her.
Try the corned beef, I'm here all week.
Two Irishmen are in a lifeboat stranded at sea when one sees a bottle floating in the water. He picks it up and opens the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says that he'll grant them one wish and immediately Sean O'Toole says: "I want you to turn the whole ocean into Guinness. The genie snaps his fingers and the ocean turns into Guinness. Paddy Hoolihan looks at Sean and says: "That was brillian ya fookin bastard. Now we have to piss in the boat."
Saints days are usually death days.
This is from University of Arkansas. But just so you all can get the facts straight, I'll post it here:
St. Patrick, born in Britain as Maewyn Succat in 387 AD and fathered by a Roman officer, was sent to Ireland in 432 as a missionary to convert the masses to Christianity. His most famous legend, that he drove the snakes from Ireland, is really a metaphor for driving the Druids, the shaman and magicians of the Celts from the Green Isle. He died in 461 on March 8 or March 9.
Because no agreement could be reached on which day he died, the holiday is celebrated on the 17th of March, the sum of 8 and 9. The first St. Patrick's day was celebrated in the U.S. in Boston in 1737. Thanks to the Irish potato famine of the 1840's, we have more people of Irish descent in the U.S. than in Ireland.
St Joseph's day is very italian too, I'll be having burdock root anyway.
Ann, you're welcome to some if you want to purify your blood after all those good eats in the tristate. I noticed immediately your hair was frizzier in the wine drinking pick so I knew you were further south and near a watering hole or river. The power of observation.
A toast to the candyass Althouse!!
Happy Birthday, JAC, and many more to come.
If I didn't have a night class, I'd be at Parasol's Bar in the Irish Channel all fookin' day. Hmmm. It's online. In Second Life. Perhaps one Guiness, for lunch. Plenty of time to sober up before 7. Two, even. A girl needs her iron and nutrients.
St. Joseph's is a good day, too; are St. Joseph Day altars popular where any of you folks be? At churches and in private homes, people put up a big table and cover it in lenten food (Italian cookies, bread, fish) and lucky fava beans.
Oops. My apologies - be forewarned, that St. Joseph's Day link opens up to a page playing a midi-version of Ave Maria. If you follow it, you might want to hit the mute button.
Beannachtai na Feile Padraig! Eireann go brach!
And, Happy Birthday JAC!
Beth, I helped set up a pretty large St. Joseph's Table at our parish this weekend. Pictures should be available online soon.
So, birthday boy, are you Jon A. Cohan today? Just a little high-stepping, Yankee Doodle Dandy, born on a festive-day, humor.
EKC, please post links. I'd love to see your altar.
i don't want to be off topic or super tangental, but i can do a sic degrees of soarness in the vestibbule and shamrock day:
shamrock>oxalic acid>vulvodynia
and since ann welcomes sexual talk, why not about actual anatomy and cures for such instead of the pyschology.
That being said, some highly sensitive people should not be given chocolate on Valentines day, either.
To all you Irishmen and women out there, and John A. Cohen also, Happy St. Paddy's Day!
My husband's father was Boston Irish, his parents came over on the boat. My claim to Irishness is that I was bit by an Irish setter.
My claim to Irishness is that I was bit by an Irish setter.
Better than by an Irish lass. The dog probably had her shots.
I'm wearing green -- AND orange. Let peace reign.
I'm wearing green -- AND orange. Let peace reign.
Yeah that will work. Now if you'll pardon me, I have to go laugh my ass off.
Bobby O'Leary is getting head from his girlfriend when he yells:
"Suck lassie suck! Blowing is just a figure of speech!"
Tommy Callahan is walking in the park with his son Timmy when Timmy spots one Irish setter mounting the other one. “Da, what they doing?” Timmy asks. “Well laddie, they’re making puppies.” Later that night Mr. Callahan is giving Mrs. Callahan the high hard one when little Timmy walks in and sees them. “Da, what you doin to Ma?” Timmy asks. “Well ya see laddie, you’re Ma and me are makin a baby.”
“Ah hell Da….” says little Timmy. “Roll her over. I’d rather have a puppy.”
Yeah that will work. Now if you'll pardon me, I have to go laugh my ass off.
Why laugh? Look at how regular Irish, Catholic and Protestant, responded to the shootings last week - the goons were marginalized, as they should be.
Why laugh?
I laugh as stupid gestures like wearing a pin or slapping a witty bumper sticker thinking that it actually does something.
Wearing green and orange is just funny in and of itself.
England, get out of Ireland, begorrah!
England isn't in Ireland. It wouldn't fit. Rather, part of the Island has chosen to remain in the United Kingdom.
I'm wearing green -- AND orange. Let peace reign.
I agree. And, finally, after maybe 400 years of killing over which color to wear, it looks like it may be over.
Well, you're gonna do a little bit more than just say....Happy Birthday, right ???
All the trimmings, balloons, streamers, confettii etc... I'm available for party-planning.
http://s530.photobucket.com/albums/dd345/Pisceslibra/Birthday%202009/?action=view¤t=011_16.jpg
Isn't that just like selfish Maxine, to use someone else's birthday as an occasion to promote, and brag about, her own gaudy soiree!
http://s530.photobucket.com/albums/dd345/Pisceslibra/Birthday%202009/?action=view¤t=009_18.jpg
__________________
How is it selfish, if I'm inviting others to join me and have some cake ?
http://s530.photobucket.com/albums/dd345/Pisceslibra/Birthday%202009/?action=view¤t=005_22.jpg
Hey Happy Birthday JAC....All the best and many more happy and healthy ones.
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