Althouse: "Wear protective headgear, walk in pairs and carry umbrellas..."

January 23, 2009

"Wear protective headgear, walk in pairs and carry umbrellas..."

... because you'll need to defend yourself against the rampaging squirrels.

15 comments:

AllenS said...: "Walk fastly, and carry a big stick." -- TeddyS Roosevelt; 1/23/09, 1:03 PM
XWL said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 1/23/09, 1:06 PM
XWL said...: Just send a few varmint callers out their way, problem solved.; 1/23/09, 1:07 PM
Henry said...: Did you see the other nurse-related story in the same section?

Nurse "killed mother with ornamental horse"

It's the new ending to The Glass Menagerie.; 1/23/09, 1:11 PM
vbspurs said...: Who will protect the squirrels from Mike Huckabee?; 1/23/09, 1:14 PM
Buford Gooch said...: First it was flaming squirrels: http://www.koco.com/cnn-news/18530377/detail.html; 1/23/09, 1:14 PM
Big Mike said...: Ordinarily squirrels run away from humans, and luckily they aren't prone to rabies (or so an animal control officer told me when I found one going crazy [I wanted to say "going nutsy" but that's too cute] in my yard).

somebody had been hand-feeding those rodents, and this is never a good idea.; 1/23/09, 1:31 PM
Christy said...: A squirrel took offence when I slung a hammock in the wooded part of my backyard. Every time I'd try to enjoy the hammock the squirrel pelted me from on high with all it could grab.

Is there an uglier word in the English language than squirrel? Depict, maybe. Neither flow trippingly from the tongue.; 1/23/09, 2:02 PM
bearbee said...: This is a stick up. Your nuts or your life.; 1/23/09, 2:21 PM
Fred Drinkwater said...: A High School English teacher maintained that "victuals" is the ugliest english word. I lean that way myself.; 1/23/09, 2:23 PM
traditionalguy said...: Mike Huckaby is said to have recieved the cure to obesity and to Squirrel raiding parties in one vision from God: Arise Mike and Kill and eat those unclean varmints, and to heck with PETA.; 1/23/09, 2:53 PM
Bob said...: Then there's the Black American Squirrel, who presumably wants to rape you...; 1/23/09, 3:47 PM
Synova said...: The squirrels at Keesler, AFB were completely tame. I bought nuts (unsalted!) from the vending machine and fed them at least once, and the cute thing held on to my finger with one little paw and took the nut out of my hand. Another time I was sitting at a picnic table, leaning back on it, near our dorms and a squirrel climbed up my leg and up over my shoulder and scampered away. (I was disguised as a tree at the time... woodland camo.)

But now... now I wonder if the story we heard about the poor Airman who got in so much trouble because he killed a squirrel with a rake just as the base commander's wife drove by. Now I wonder if maybe it was self-defense. :-); 1/23/09, 4:26 PM
bearbee said...: Then there's the Black American Squirrel, who presumably wants to rape you...

Offspring of a rogue American black squirrel.

The spread of US imperialism.; 1/23/09, 4:48 PM
Dust Bunny Queen said...: What a bunch of pussies. Afraid of squirrels? Someone might "fall unconscious" because a squirrel was aggressively begging for nuts?

Sheesh. I would hate to see what these pansies would do with the aggressive and very smelly pan handlers in San Francisco.

If you want to be afraid.....very afraid....run away from a flock of aggressive and hungry geese. Mean, smelly, bite you and poop everywhere. Oh, wait...nevermind...just like the pan handlers in San Francisco; 1/23/09, 8:35 PM