Althouse: You lost me at 8.

May 2, 2008

You lost me at 8.

People's list of 100 most beautiful people. As usual, there's not a chance in hell that these are the 100 most beautiful people, but the egregious untruth of it is somewhat funny.

UPDATE: They've changed the numbers at the link. #8 at the time I put up this post was Rumer Willis.

58 comments:

Alan said...: I think Julianne Moore is beautiful. Though that picture didn't do her justice.; 5/2/08, 7:47 AM
Bob said...: What on earth does that label mean?; 5/2/08, 7:50 AM
Alan said...: My guess, it was the post captcha.; 5/2/08, 7:52 AM
MadisonMan said...: What on God's Green Earth is #5 wearing!; 5/2/08, 7:56 AM
MadisonMan said...: ...and that is a dreadful picture of Julianne Moore!; 5/2/08, 7:57 AM
KCFleming said...: I must be #101.
Again.; 5/2/08, 8:02 AM
Tibore said...: Is there a counter award to this? Sort of like the Razzies to the Oscars? I think I'd get a bigger kick outta that than this one.; 5/2/08, 8:07 AM
George M. Spencer said...: $3.99.

About 3.6 million copies "sold" per issue, with 2007 circulation down and 2007 revenue down, too.

What will shoppers choose in 2008? Bread or People magazine?; 5/2/08, 8:10 AM
Henry said...: Great post title. There's no way I click through except to see who #8 is.

Otherwise, they lost me at 2.; 5/2/08, 8:12 AM
AllenS said...: I clicked on the sports babes, and stopped at Maria Sharapova. Don't get much better than that.; 5/2/08, 8:31 AM
Anonymous said...: I'm sorry, but to be #1 on the list of 100 most beautiful people, you should be better looking than anyone in my office, the Starbucks downstairs or on my subway ride to work.

Kate Hudson does not meet that test.; 5/2/08, 8:49 AM
rhhardin said...: They're all ugly.; 5/2/08, 8:52 AM
dix said...: It seems a key requirement for the women on the list is to be pregnant or having given birth recently.

I wonder who their target audience is?; 5/2/08, 8:55 AM
save_the_rustbelt said...: This reminds me of the "cheerleader progression."

At a certain age, a boy will lust after cheerleaders.

At a later age, the cheerleader's advisor looks pretty good to a man.

A little later in life, the cheerleader's mom looks pretty nice.

And at some point, the cheerleader's grandmother looks pretty hot.

Sigh.

I'm hot for Kate Hudson's mom. Sigh.; 5/2/08, 9:12 AM
TMink said...: Henry, I am with you! The first photo that had a sense of beauty to it for me was the photo of Ms. Alba.

I think the majority of the photos that I clicked through were just this week's models.

Trey; 5/2/08, 9:18 AM
Ann Althouse said...: Alan's right. Wrote it in the wrong box.

And Blogger's captchas are really hard to see. Don't know how I managed to miss the box though. That's lame. Proves I'm not spam though, doesn't it?; 5/2/08, 9:20 AM
Triangle Man said...: save_the_rustbelt: That progression is generally cumulative, right?; 5/2/08, 9:37 AM
Ron said...: looks more like 'the 100 most beautiful people who had publicists who could blow dough on this nonsense' list!

I talked to Julianne Moore for a few minutes at a party once...; 5/2/08, 9:43 AM
KCFleming said...: save_the_rustbelt,
The "cheerleader progression" fails at a certain point, however. Women seem to be their most beautiful during the fecund years. It's in our makeup, no?

Older women can be attractive still, of course. The elderly start looking well-preserved and end up being cute.

I, on the other hand, never reached the point of good-looking, and barely missed being frightening, so what the hell do I know?; 5/2/08, 9:46 AM
Larry Sheldon said...: I don't read the mag--is that Botox commercial or something?; 5/2/08, 9:55 AM
Mortimer Brezny said...: I'd do Julianne Moore.; 5/2/08, 9:55 AM
Fritz said...: This is an outrage! Barack Obama should be #1. He's clean & articulate.; 5/2/08, 9:59 AM
Anonymous said...: Already having permission to publish file photos explains the often-poor photography and provides a cheap, repetitive way to promote an issue.

As for target audience: any illiterate still breathing with an IQ of 80 or less, which must be about 75% of the current US population. It's kept them in business. P. T. Barnum was seldom wrong.; 5/2/08, 10:01 AM
rcocean said...: Matthew McConaughey has great teeth.
Otherwise, he doesn't look any better -to me - than 10 dudes I see at work.; 5/2/08, 10:07 AM
The Drill SGT said...: 3 comments

1. it's really a celebrity 100, not a beauty 100.

2. I think there was more beauty in the list of female jocks

3. if it were the world's most beautiful, you'd think the law of large numbers would include some Asians in there.; 5/2/08, 10:22 AM
Freeman Hunt said...: They should just call it the "100 People We at People Magazine Really Like List." That's what it is.

Though I don't think Jessica Alba would have much trouble staying on a pure beauty list of celebrities.; 5/2/08, 10:40 AM
George M. Spencer said...: People mag audience demographics: 87% female; 37 median age; $74k median household income; 79% some college. Half employed full time, half have kids at home.

Translation: Your basic Target shopper Mom and not a particularly upscale or well-educated one. Probably one rung or two below the 'In Style' reader. She does have sufficient disposable income to buy mass-market brand cosmetics and household and baby stuff.

The website? A trusted, customizable, multi-platform, integrated environment reaching 7.6MM distinct viewers monthly!

Henry Luce * Albert Hoffman/Heloise = People Magazine; 5/2/08, 11:05 AM
Swifty Quick said...: Rumer Willis? Good publicist.; 5/2/08, 11:09 AM
Laura Reynolds said...: wow, Mortimer and I agree on something, and something important to boot.; 5/2/08, 11:11 AM
Triangle Man said...: Zeb, If there's an understatement of the day award, I think you've just won it. I've never given Rumer's appearance any thought until now. Top 25?; 5/2/08, 11:25 AM
Bissage said...: I guess this would be a good time to mention I was Mark Wahlberg’s body double in Boogie Nights. He had a pretty busy schedule and I had to workshop a bunch of scenes with Julie.

She was thoroughly professional and actually a very nice person. She used to call me “Studmuffins.”

Don’t get me wrong. She had her faults, same as everybody else. For example, she would always dig her nails into my ass and lick my chest.

Oh, those method actors!; 5/2/08, 11:33 AM
vbspurs said...: I lost interest after #1. Kate Hudson the most beautiful person according to People Magazine? Oy.

I was much more interested in the Gay Celebs.

You're on surer footing, though it was interesting to find out which Village Person wasn't gay. (THE BIKER?! No way!)

Cheers,
Victoria; 5/2/08, 11:35 AM
vbspurs said...: I guess this would be a good time to mention I was Mark Wahlberg’s body double in Boogie Nights.

Big whoop. Call me if you were ever Milton Berle's body double.

Cheers,
Victoria; 5/2/08, 11:40 AM
James Wigderson said...: "As usual, there's not a chance in hell that these are the 100 most beautiful people..."

I'll say. Where's Ann on the list?; 5/2/08, 12:03 PM
vbspurs said...: I'll say. Where's Ann on the list?

Awww. Commenter of the month!

Seriously though, that blog photo of Ann is very fetching. She's way better than Julianne "Scary Cadaverous Gumline" Moore.; 5/2/08, 12:20 PM
Ann Althouse said...: I didn't mean to attack Julianne Moore. The website I linked to changed the numbers. I meant to complain about including Rumer Willis. Nothing against her, but she's just obviously not one of the most beautiful women in the world.; 5/2/08, 12:24 PM
Smilin' Jack said...: 8?! How could anyone possibly get past #7? It nearly turned me to stone.; 5/2/08, 12:47 PM
cardeblu said...: Eh... Though, that's not a very flattering picture of Kate Hudson, either. My husband doesn't think she or her mother are all that pretty or sexy. We, both, are of the age to remember Goldie from Laugh-In, and I think Kate looks so much like her mom (softer). I don't think either are "stunning" by any account; however, I can't help but automatically think of "sunshine and daffodils" when looking at them at times, especially when they smile. It seems to radiate from them.; 5/2/08, 12:48 PM
KCFleming said...: Power, fame, money (more for men), and alcohol (more for women, albeit only transiently) all have a salutary effect on the perception of relative beauty.

Proximity and serendipity aslo have their effects (e.g the only girl at a Star Trek convention).

And parent's think their kids are lovelier than all the rest, even when some resemble drooling old men in need of a bath.

Regardless, the eyes are the key. Beautiful eyes can undo many a soul.; 5/2/08, 12:53 PM
Ron said...: I think Victoria is #2 on the "100 most beautiful Althouse commenters" list, after Ruth Anne of course!; 5/2/08, 1:02 PM
Ruth Anne Adams said...: Lest we forget, Julianne Moore is slated to play Althouse in her bio-pic. [Co-starring Andie MacDowell as Dr. Helen.]; 5/2/08, 1:09 PM
MadisonMan said...: Professor, I agree 100% about Rumer. Why is she on this list?; 5/2/08, 1:42 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: Tut tut, all this talk of Rumer's appearance. Did she put herself on the list? (That's not a rhetorical question. How does this list work? Does the staff at People just write out the list or do publicists and whatnot have something to do with it?) If not, it seems sort of mean to use the list as an opportunity to criticize her appearance.; 5/2/08, 2:20 PM
reader_iam said...: Rumer isn't even the prettiest among Demi's three daughters. That nod is probably going to go to Tallulah. Neither of the three strike me as anywhere near as pretty as their mother was when she was younger (pre-plastic intervention).; 5/2/08, 2:36 PM
reader_iam said...: Sort of a shame that Willis' gene pool was so aggressive in the mix ... .; 5/2/08, 2:38 PM
reader_iam said...: I wonder if the combo would have been more arresting in boys? In a young Duran Duran sort of way.; 5/2/08, 2:39 PM
MadisonMan said...: Does the staff at People just write out the list or do publicists and whatnot have something to do with it?

Publicists are pushing their clients on to the list. Rumer's publicist probably told her it would be a good "career" move to be on the list (whatever her career, other than appearing at parties and posing, is).; 5/2/08, 2:48 PM
Ron said...: Julianne Moore is slated to play Althouse in her bio-pic.

I'm still holding out for Joan Blondell...

What's that? You say Joan Blondell is dead?

Never say that!!! She's just...unavailable.

A Swimming with Sharks joke for y'all!; 5/2/08, 2:48 PM
George M. Spencer said...: Freeman--

It's part buzz, part common sense, part guessing what will please advertisers (though no one would ever admit that), partly because the staff's getting freebies from publicists (ditto), and Q Score.

Notice also that Julianne Moore, 47, is the only old person in that group online. A token.; 5/2/08, 2:59 PM
Trooper York said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 5/2/08, 3:45 PM
Trooper York said...: "I guess this would be a good time to mention I was Mark Wahlberg’s body double in Boogie Nights. He had a pretty busy schedule and I had to workshop a bunch of scenes with Julie."

Dude, does that mean you have a fifteen inch detachable rubber penis?

No wonder Mrs. Bissage is always yelling at you.; 5/2/08, 5:15 PM
Zachary Sire said...: Speaking of stupid lists, did anyone see the Telegraph's list of 50 most powerful political pundits? It's just as ridiculous and comedic as the People list. I blogged about it if anyone cares. (sorry if my self-advertising is too obvious!); 5/2/08, 5:39 PM
Revenant said...: Notice also that Julianne Moore, 47, is the only old person in that group online. A token.

That's just the entertainment media's inability to concede that people lose their looks when they age. Moore is attractive -- for a middle-aged woman. You could easily find dozens of more-attractive women in your local college's Humanities 101 class, though.; 5/2/08, 6:59 PM
Trooper York said...: Hey check out Zachary's blog it's pretty cool.; 5/2/08, 8:01 PM
blake said...: Sort of a shame that Willis' gene pool was so aggressive in the mix ... .

Yippe-kay-yai, motherfu---; 5/2/08, 9:34 PM
blake said...: The pix are horrible.

I experienced the same thing looking at pix taken at some award show. I was sure the people were prettier than they looked.

And the photos were even the subject of the article. A famous photographer had taken them.; 5/2/08, 9:39 PM
vbspurs said...: Speaking of stupid lists, did anyone see the Telegraph's list of 50 most powerful political pundits? It's just as ridiculous and comedic as the People list. I blogged about it if anyone cares. (sorry if my self-advertising is too obvious!)

Nice! I was thinking of doing that but was waiting until they got to the last 10 (I think they stopped at 11, so far, no?).

As the Torygraph commenters stated, their choices are LUDICROUS. Keith Olbermann at 14, if memory serves. Fred Luntz of Fox News (the survey guy), dizzyingly high too.

They really bungled that up.

Could you provide a direct link to your post, Zachary? :)

Cheers,
Victoria; 5/3/08, 1:22 AM
dick said...: Agree on the Telegraph list of most influential political pundits in the USA. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/uselection2008/1904702/The-50-most-influential-US-political-pundits.html; 5/3/08, 4:16 PM