Maybe those who conduct business or just socially yak away on their cell phones for hours a day develop unsightly blemishes (the horror!) dotting the areas on their faces on which the cell phone rests.
I've had cell phone neck before (no ear piece), but I haven't been plagued with cell phone face. Yet.
A friend of mine has organized a weekly arts salon. It's the first time in a long time that I'm hanging out in a dimly-lit cafe on a somewhat regular basis. I realized that something is lost now that we have indoor smoking bans. The nice, warm glow cast on a face when a cigarette is lit has been replaced by the cold light of cell phones and laptops.
I'm unsure of what "Cell Phone Face" is, but I'd pay for somebody to find a solution to "Cell Phone Pace."
An especially grievous lapse of civility in New York -- where people are generally in a hurry and nobody likes a slowpoke -- Cell Phone Pace seems as good a way as any to describe the way pedestrians decelerate as they punch in phone numbers or text their friends or whatever. Since they aren’t looking where they're walking, they instinctively slow down -- or stop altogether -- causing a rear-end collision with anybody who’s following them at the accelerated rate appropriate for the City. This is especially true of people as they exit subway stations, since their subterranean sojourn has interrupted communion with their electronic fetish.
I, for one, welcome the coming singularity, when people will no longer walk at Cell Phone Pace, because they'll be dialing with their brains. And, please God, let them carry on their insipid conversations that way, too.
Sorry to get so OT. Whatever its true meaning, "Cell Phone Face" sounds like a fitting punishment for people like the ones I described above. Remember that great old "Twilight Zone" episode --"The Masks" -- where a quartet of awful people were given the faces they deserve? (BTW, I tried to link to a couple different pages for that TZ episode, but was thwarted by Blogger every time.)
I don't know about cell phone face, but yesterday I encountered cell phone mouth. It was my first day back on campus, I was walking to my afternoon class, and a young woman stopped abruptly in front of me, yelling the F word and various other hostilities into her cell phone at the top of her lungs. After nearly four months of tranquility - it was quite a shock.
"Its a code indicating that the establishment is a suitable trysting place for wide-stance Republicans."
Funny; really. But wait, there's more....
And further that if these ostensibly fundamentalist, Bible-thumpin' yahoos are caught in a sting operation, not to worry; they'll wind up in a courthouse with a bas relief of Moses & The Tablets on its front entrance. (No replies from literalists, please.)
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19 comments:
Maybe it's the face I make when someone in my immediate vacinity is yelling into their cell phone.
But I don't want to erase that face.
My baby had cell phone eyes.
Punchin' my buttons
Tellin' lies.
some cell phones have removable face plates
Maybe it's the gamma rays. On the way to frying our brains, they fry our skin first.
John Mayer demonstrates his version of cell phone face here.
This is the first I've heard of such a thing, and I'm not sure what beauty treatments would fix that...?
What's gonna happen to Cell Phone Face?
There go I but for my face
All I know could be defaced
By the facts in the life of Cell Phone Face.
Maybe those who conduct business or just socially yak away on their cell phones for hours a day develop unsightly blemishes (the horror!) dotting the areas on their faces on which the cell phone rests.
I've had cell phone neck before (no ear piece), but I haven't been plagued with cell phone face. Yet.
I've no cell phone, and therefore cannot develop this horrid malady.
That sign is hard to read.
Its a code indicating that the establishment is a suitable trysting place for wide-stance Republicans.
Yes hard to read, just don't stand there and tap your feet while trying to read it.
Maybe we're misreading August.
A friend of mine has organized a weekly arts salon. It's the first time in a long time that I'm hanging out in a dimly-lit cafe on a somewhat regular basis. I realized that something is lost now that we have indoor smoking bans. The nice, warm glow cast on a face when a cigarette is lit has been replaced by the cold light of cell phones and laptops.
I'm unsure of what "Cell Phone Face" is, but I'd pay for somebody to find a solution to "Cell Phone Pace."
An especially grievous lapse of civility in New York -- where people are generally in a hurry and nobody likes a slowpoke -- Cell Phone Pace seems as good a way as any to describe the way pedestrians decelerate as they punch in phone numbers or text their friends or whatever. Since they aren’t looking where they're walking, they instinctively slow down -- or stop altogether -- causing a rear-end collision with anybody who’s following them at the accelerated rate appropriate for the City. This is especially true of people as they exit subway stations, since their subterranean sojourn has interrupted communion with their electronic fetish.
I, for one, welcome the coming singularity, when people will no longer walk at Cell Phone Pace, because they'll be dialing with their brains. And, please God, let them carry on their insipid conversations that way, too.
Sorry to get so OT. Whatever its true meaning, "Cell Phone Face" sounds like a fitting punishment for people like the ones I described above. Remember that great old "Twilight Zone" episode --"The Masks" -- where a quartet of awful people were given the faces they deserve? (BTW, I tried to link to a couple different pages for that TZ episode, but was thwarted by Blogger every time.)
I don't know about cell phone face, but yesterday I encountered cell phone mouth. It was my first day back on campus, I was walking to my afternoon class, and a young woman stopped abruptly in front of me, yelling the F word and various other hostilities into her cell phone at the top of her lungs. After nearly four months of tranquility - it was quite a shock.
guacamommy nailed it. phones, in general, are filthy bacteria incubators. and nobody better try to take mine.
I searched "cell phone face" on Google Images and found this work-safe pic:
http://tinyurl.com/yvwkxq
If this was caused by cell-phone usage, the devices should outlawed.
Mutaman said...
"Its a code indicating that the establishment is a suitable trysting place for wide-stance Republicans."
Funny; really. But wait, there's more....
And further that if these ostensibly fundamentalist, Bible-thumpin' yahoos are caught in a sting operation, not to worry; they'll wind up in a courthouse with a bas relief of Moses & The Tablets on its front entrance. (No replies from literalists, please.)
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