Althouse: Yikes.

May 24, 2006

Yikes.

You're right. That is giving me nightmares.

17 comments:

Tibore said...: Quickie bat story:

My old apartment complex had a central foyer, and then 4 entranceways (doors) to the individual apartments (2 upstairs, 2 down). Once, I found a tiny bat near my door. Minus the wings, it's body was barely bigger than a meatball, and an average sized one at that. It looked sick; it was sort of just wiggling around on the floor.

I went and grabbed a pair of tongs from the kitchen to pick this poor little thing up and take it outside. Remember, this little sucker was small enough to get lost in my palm; put your thumb and forefinger together to make the "OK" sign, and the bat would've fit through the hole if it weren't for it's wings. Anyway, I pick the thing up...

... and OHMIGOD!!!! It sounded like I pissed off SATAN! It was LOUD! This little animal, small enough to sit on a quarter, hissed and spit with soooooooo much volume he brought the neighbors running. Running! They heard it over 3 closed doors, 2 loud TV's, and one blaring stereo. A tiny bat, barely bigger than a generous lipstick tube, and they thought I cornered a rabid dog!

And the damn thing was biting and scratching at the tongs with the fury of a way bigger animal!

Needless to say, I didn't just sit the little thing gently on the ground outside... I flung it for all I was worth.

Anyway, bats... no wonder there are so many myths associating them with evil. I intellectually know they're just another animal, and that it's silly to associate any sort of human construct (evil) with something that's merely evolved to live in it's environment. But the sounds it made... good GOD! I still shudder when I remember them, and it's been 4 years since that happened! Yow....; 5/24/06, 10:10 AM
Bissage said...: The dirty little ingrate!; 5/24/06, 10:20 AM
goesh said...: Tibore's story brought back memories of when my brothers and I had to chase and kill one in the house using tennis racquets - I can still hear my sister screaming in her bedroom and my kid brother yelling "what if we all get rabies, what if we all get rabies!" and my older brother telling him to shut up and keep swinging. Talk about chaos...; 5/24/06, 10:46 AM
MadisonMan said...: My in-laws get bats, and the tennis rackets come out there, too. Eventually you get the bat trapped between two rackets and you can carry it outside.; 5/24/06, 10:48 AM
Ann Althouse said...: I've killed a bat with a tennis racket. The sound it made was horrible, and once you start you have to finish it. I changed methods after that.

MadisonMan: If the bat was in the house, you should not simply let it go. You have to capture or kill it so you can take it in and have it tested. A boy died the other day in Texas from a bat that was in his room, that he did not realize had bitten him.; 5/24/06, 11:08 AM
Ann Althouse said...: Also, you need to tell the in-laws to have their house bat proofed. It will solve the problem, which is a big problem.

Tibore: I hope you never used those tongs again.; 5/24/06, 11:09 AM
Tibore said...: Oh, hell no! I flung 'em with the bat!; 5/24/06, 11:22 AM
MadisonMan said...: I believe the house was bat-proofed (again) two autumns ago. I recall no bat reports from last summer.

What you say about rabies is correct, of course. Nevertheless, I will not be telling the in-laws how to do things in their own house, where they've done the same thing for 30+ years.; 5/24/06, 11:23 AM
chuck b. said...: This all reminds me of something... but what, what...; 5/24/06, 11:32 AM
chuck b. said...: Running bats are the new squirrels.; 5/24/06, 12:19 PM
P_J said...: "Running Bat" would be a great name for a rock band.

As would "Zuni Fetish Doll" (props to Chuck B for Trilogy of Terror. That was one creepy little dude).; 5/24/06, 3:59 PM
michael farris said...: Am I the only person who thinks the running bat is kind of cute?

I know, I know, flying vermin spreading disease, but still ... kind of cute.; 5/24/06, 4:04 PM
KCFleming said...: Several years ago, we had guests over, a couple from Japan who spoke a little English (our daughters went to the same school). I had run upstairs to get something, when I spied a bat clinging to the wall. Aaaaaah!

I slooowly walked past it, grabbed a huge dictionary from my shelf, snuck back and BLAM! (that word appeared in a balloon, like in Batman), I swatted it with a mighty blow. Followed by an adrenaline and bat cooties shiver.

I returned to our guests, not thinking they had heard it (OK, I'm a dope). They we were wide-eyed. Said she, "You kill something, yes?"

Um, yup! "Swing away" was not a requirement for dispatching a 2 ounce mammal. But geez, why not be sure?; 5/24/06, 5:10 PM
Palladian said...: I like the running bat!; 5/24/06, 7:35 PM
Tibore said...: HaloJonesFan,

Oh, crap, he's outside my window right now, knocking with the tongs...

(Squeaky bat voice): "I remember you, you ****in' bastard!"

------

Okay. Screw this. SCREW THIS! I'm callin' his bluff. I'm comin' fer ya, you teeny lil bat creep! How much hurt can the little bleeper do with a pair of tongs? No more running scared from the runty lil squeaker, I'm gonna go open the window now...; 5/24/06, 9:01 PM
Steve Burri said...: Those little critters are regulars around our house. We've rolled with the punches and invented a new game... Batminton.; 5/24/06, 9:32 PM
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