February 24, 2012

Why did Rick Santorum deliver a yank-your-arm-out-of-its-shoulder-socket handshake to Ron Paul?

At the end of the debate on Wednesday. Video at the link, where the headline reads "Ron Paul Fans Outraged At Hearty Post-Debate Handshake." I watched the video, and you don't have to be a Ron Paul fan to be outraged. I had to wonder about Santorum's sanity. That wasn't just a hearty handshake. That was... evil. There is evil in the world. Could it be... Satan?

Hey, Rick. Take a lesson from a master:



IN THE COMMENTS: Chip Ahoy said:
Ron Paul was ready for Santorum at the fifty-seventh debate and wore a prop rubber arm. At the end of the debate when Santorum vigorously shook Ron Paul's prop arm it warbled and stretched right out of the jacket sleeve. Ron Paul yelled "Ow! WTF, you freak?!" The rubber arm snapped back and 2% of Santorum's vote flowed over to Ron Paul in repulsion to the aggression but in a twist 1% of Ron Paul's votes and 3% of Gingrich's votes, and 2% of Romney's votes flowed to Santorum because those voters thought the sight of pulling out Ron Paul's arm was awesome.

By the time the fifty-eighth debate rolled around Ron Paul's supporters had fashioned an electrified arm to use on Santorum at the end of the debate but that was detected at the debate entrance and viewers were denied the chance of seeing Santorum electrified by his own aggressive handshake.
And perhaps for the 59th debate, the prop arm might pull out altogether, creating an image something like the animation Chip made for us yesterday, when we were trying to understand not Satan, but Mammon (one of the 7 princes of Hell), and a painting by Evelyn De Morgan called "The Worship of Mammon" had a strangely meaningful extended arm. The illuminating animation:



And the lesson we learn, at long last? The man who gives an extremely vigorous, super-macho handshake — what is it, really, that he is afraid of?

40 comments:

LordSomber said...

Adult men have been high-fiving and fist-bumping so much that their handshaking skills are rusty.
Time to get back to basics, guys.

chickenlittle said...

No worries,

I'm sure that Andy R can trace it to a repressed urge for sodomy or fisting.


No worries.

Brennan said...

Buzzfeed? Really? That rag makes the Huffington Post look like the New England Journal of Medicine.

pm317 said...

Could it be... Satan?

To me being religious should equate to being kind and pious. Actions like that handshake is inconsiderate of a kind, religious guy. That and Santorum always looks angry at something or the other while being sanctimonious and self-righteous.

Kit said...

A little too much adrenaline, there, Rick.

Bender said...

I watched the video, and you don't have to be a Ron Paul fan to be outraged

No, you just have to be so consumed with rabies against anything having to do with Santorum (especially of the lefty kind) so as to not need any real reason ever in order to manufacture the faux outrage of the day.

The Crack Emcee said...

Enthusiasm portrayed as assault? Great.

I think I get your Obama vote now:

Elections make you and Reynolds delusional,...

rhhardin said...

Things have gone downhill since the handshake replaced swordplay.

phx said...

My guess is they're probably all under more stress than they've ever known before.

That's not an excuse for being a dingbat of course.

Sharc said...

Hmm. Don't see it. Seems good-natured to me.

MadisonMan said...

Made me think of frat boys.

Chip Ahoy said...

Ha ha ha you got me. I see what you did there. Misdirection ha ha ha. Man, those old movies have everything in 'em lol.

YoungHegelian said...

I think Santorum was genuinely pissed off at having been called a "fake conservative" by Ron Paul during the debate, and it was payback.

Not nice, but understandable.

Saint Croix said...

W.C. Fields cracks me up.

machine said...

Wasn't a big deal at all...

Henry said...

Just kind of ... weird. Is Santorum 12? Good thing there's no more debates or we might see a noogie.

What does Paul say about it?

Bob Ellison said...

"Outrage" seems a bit much for this little thing. Now, if an American judge were to dismiss an assault case against a Muslim who confessed to the crime, and if that judge based the dismissal on sharia, then I could muster a little outrage.

Uh oh. My association to the topic is weak, possibly in violation of the thread-hijacking rule.

rhhardin said...

In lieu of your heroism, your dauntless courage, I have the honor to offer you this position

Chip Ahoy said...

Ron Paul was ready for Santorum at the fifty-seventh debate and wore a prop rubber arm. At the end of the debate when Santorum vigorously shook Ron Paul's prop arm it warbled and stretched right out of the jacket sleeve. Ron Paul yelled "Ow! WTF, you freak?!" The rubber arm snapped back and 2% of Santorum's vote flowed over to Ron Paul in repulsion to the aggression but in a twist 1% of Ron Paul's votes and 3% of Gingrich's votes, and 2% of Romney's votes flowed to Santorum because those voters thought the sight of pulling out Ron Paul's arm was awesome.

By the time the fifty-eighth debate rolled around Ron Paul's supporters had fashioned an electrified arm to use on Santorum at the end of the debate but that was detected at the debate entrance and viewers were denied the chance of seeing Santorum electrified by his own aggressive handshake.

Bill said...

I continue to be amazed at how I can read about an extreme reaction to a video, positive or negative, from the left or the right, and I will almost always disagree with the assessment. I don't mean that my own reaction comes down somewhere closer to the middle of their extreme reaction, I mean I just think their reaction is really off the mark.

I've watched it three times now and I agree with sharc, I just don't see it. I didn't see the debate so maybe he was really pissed but I didn't see some passive/aggressive yanking (although I concede that could have been what it was).

Santorum seems to be pumping his own body back and forth in an exaggerated manner and kind of taking Paul's arm along for the ride. It reminded of something the early Steve Martin would do.

I seem to recall Paul's pretty good about being honest about these things even if he could use them to his advantage. Has anybody asked him about it?

Bob Ellison said...

Chip, is this episode better suited to an animation, or to a pop-up (possibly a pop-out) card?

Don't keep us in suspense!

Robert said...

Good to see that there is so little else wrong with the world that we all have time to turn our attention to such trivial interaction between two people.

I would have preferred to see a high-five myself, but Paul is in his 70s. And if it were McCain or Dole, there would be some difficulty participating on the other side of it.

A president should have vigor. One thing I will always credit Obama for never being afraid to demonstrate.

Christopher in MA said...

Robert - don't confuse vigor with petulance.

Chip Ahoy said...

Seeing their leader slip in the polls the Ron Paul supporters became alarmed an crafted a new arm-strategy for the fifty-ninth debate.

They ripped off Ron Paul's real arm and replaced it with a polio arm and slung it up so that the shriveled hand dangled helplessly out of the sling. They needlessly wrapped his head in gauze and carried him out onto the stage in a litter up to the lectern. The strategy backfired. Support drained immediately. Voters reacted negatively to the histrionics rather than sympathetically to victimization of unnecessary aggression as they had thought.

They began planning for the sixtieth debate but now their candidate has a seriously damaged arm.

AJ Lynch said...

Quite a few conservatives, myself included, think Saintorum is nuts.

That said, I did not see anything outrageous in his short video.

AJ Lynch said...

Henry said:

"Good thing there's no more debates or we might see a noogie."

Hardin:
"Things have gone downhill since the handshake replaced swordplay."

Chip Ahoy said:
"Ron Paul was ready for Santorum at the fifty-seventh debate and wore a prop rubber arm..."

And Chip Ahoy continued:
"Seeing their leader slip in the polls the Ron Paul supporters became alarmed an crafted a new arm-strategy for the fifty-ninth debate....
They ripped off Ron Paul's real arm and replaced it with a polio arm and slung it up so that the shriveled hand dangled helplessly out of the sling. "

You guys crack me up ! Thanks for the laughs!

EDH said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
EDH said...

That would be what is called a "you-just-bested-me-but-I'm-too-much-of-a-gentleman-to-completely-act-out handshake".

Contains a hint of Indian wrestle to it; learned by millions of white American boys from their mentors at summer camp.

To wit, ever notice how much Santorum looks like "Canteen Boy"?

Handshake likely in response to Paul calling Santorum a "phony" after Sanroum teed-up that reply for Paul by asking "why did you call me a phony?"

"Because you are a phony."

Paul got into Rick's sleeping bag.

Chip Ahoy said...

Sorry, wrong window ↑ different thread.

phx said...

Some focus groups told him he had to exploit his age and appear vigorous beside Paul. That was his solution.

edutcher said...

His reaction to Rand Paul saying he would be open to a Veep spot with Milton.

Hitler video to follow.

rhhardin said...

Things have gone downhill since the handshake replaced swordplay.

The same can be said for the fast draw.

Brennan said...

If you look really closely, Santorum actually is flipping Ron Paul the bird.

I seent it!

And I saw it before Buzzfeed.

MaggotAtBroad&Wall said...

If Santorum had evil intent, he'd have done better to smile broadly and crush like a bug every brittle bone in Pual's hand. Nobody would have known.

It looks to me like Althouse is mocking Santorum's values and aiding Paul's supporters manufacture a phony outrage simply because she doesn't like his values.

yashu said...

LOL LOL Chip Ahoy, genius.

That could make for such a brilliant series. Like Spy vs. Spy or Itchy and Scratchy: GOP Primary Debates 2012.

If I worked for SNL or the Onion I would so steal your idea.

Thorley Winston said...

I’ve gotten handshakes like that before where the other person moved their arm back and forth. It was kind of awkward because I wasn’t sure if I was being pulled in for a hug. Somehow I don’t see Rick Santorum as the sort of hug another guy although maybe he finds Ron Paul so adorable (he does act like an earnest elf – the Keebler not the Tolkien kind) that he couldn’t help himself ;)

Seriously though, much ado about nothing. As a general rule whenever someone says that they are “outraged” or “offended” by something, they’re usually the sort of person who thinks that there is some sort of empowerment from being a “victim” and demanding an “apology” for something that has nothing to do with them. I find these people tiresome and uninteresting and wish they’d go away. Or better still, I would love it if the latest target of the Perpetually Aggrieved and Offended would call them out publicly on their bulls**t and either tell them to grow up or go f**k themselves.

Rusty said...

machine said...
Wasn't a big deal at all...

I agree.
Looked more like a guy thing. Women don't understand that shit.

Revenant said...

I think Santorum was genuinely pissed off at having been called a "fake conservative" by Ron Paul during the debate, and it was payback.

The truth hurts.

Saint Croix said...

The man who gives an extremely vigorous, super-macho handshake — what is it, really, that he is afraid of?

You think Santorum is a closet liberal?

Maybe he's afraid of his secret desire to increase welfare payments for the poor.

David said...

The man who gives an extremely vigorous, super-macho handshake — what is it, really, that he is afraid of?

Being gay?

MaryW said...

Ho-hum. Much ado about nothing.