September 22, 2011

"You can hear the 'thwack' when Chief Judge Jones smacks her hand on the table — a benchslap, quite literally. DIVA-LICIOUS!"

When 5th Circuit Chief Judge Edith Jones told Judge James. L. Dennis to shut up.

Hey, settle down. It's not like she strangled him.

21 comments:

chickenlittle said...

Better thwack than fap

Carol_Herman said...

It seems Judge Dennis (not the menace), took 7 minutes to point out that the AMOUNT of drugs found in this lady's truck didn't matter.

In other words, it could have been a few grains of rice. Or a truckload of rice. Doesn't matter.

You can't tell that the owner of the truck was in a drug distribution business.

Heck, Dennis could have pointed to the tires. And, good used car salesman would have pointed to the tires! See? If the tires were full of hot air ... they weren't as efficient as if they were low on air.

And, after about 7 minutes of this grotesque pitch ... I think "SHUT THE FUCK UP" ... OR GET THE HELL OUT ... were absolutely realistic remarks! YEA. Made by a woman!

I guess Dennis never saw or heard a woman tell him to leave a room. Even if his pants were down around his ankles.

But this is a corker of an insight. I hope law students everywhere ... get to see this stuff. Because it puts bullshit into perspective, like nobody's business.

I thought the 9th was the "clown circuit?" Even though I'm in love with Alex Kozinski.

Since this circuit is in Texas, does Perry have a view?

Can we bet that the drug lady stays convicted? (Judge Dennis can visit her in jail.)

Fred4Pres said...

The unusualness of this federal applellate court interaction shows how crazy and toxic things are in Wisconsin.

Fred4Pres said...

If only Carol was one of the justices that day.

Rickey Branch would be rolling over in his grave!

ndspinelli said...

Fred, Rickey Branch was actually an attorney. I'm sorry, that was Branch Rickey. He got his law degree @ Michigan.

traditionalguy said...

When Texans act horsey, it is not that unusual.

She got his attention the way a rider gets her horse's attention.

Good job. If you are the Chief Judge, then take charge.

Fred4Pres said...

ndspinelli, the order of the name is the joke. Carol a couple of nights ago mentioned "Rickey Branch" in regards to Jackie Robinson and Trooper almost had a grand mal seizure.

Sorry, to get the joke you had to be there.

Steve Koch said...

Judge Jones might be dealing with a menopause induced hormonal rage. If so, my sympathies to her spouse.

Fred4Pres said...

Justice Prosser should suggest that about Justice Bradley next time they are in session.

Just to break the ice.

Steve Koch said...

Yeah, I was thinking that but Bradley's head might explode.

Course we men are not exempt from hormonal changes. Have you ever noticed that a lot of old men are kinda weepy? Testosterone decline, imo.

edutcher said...

From what I could see, he wasn't that obnoxious, and she let her temper get the better of her. It would seem there might be a little more going on here.

Hoosier Daddy said...

Telling a lawyer to shut up? What's the problem?

ndspinelli said...

Can you just picture Trooper having a grand mal w/ Jerry Lee Lewis' classic, Whole Lotta Shakin' playing in the background.

edutcher said...

Fred4Pres said...

ndspinelli, the order of the name is the joke. Carol a couple of nights ago mentioned "Rickey Branch" in regards to Jackie Robinson and Trooper almost had a grand mal seizure.

Sorry, to get the joke you had to be there.


Interesting optics, if you know what I mean.

Nobody's gotten that kind of rise out of Troop since J said Philadelphia teams were inherently superior to the store-bought ones in NY.

Carol_Herman said...

You know the story of BRANCH RICKEY should be as famous as the stuff Yogi Berra said. (And, I don't know how to spell the "bear-a" part, either.)

When you get to the fork in the road, take it.

Carol_Herman said...

You know, me and Fran Lebowitz, really can't be judges.

Lebowitz pointed out though, that IF she were a judge. And, they put her up on the Supreme Court. She'd have no trouble make up her mind about a decision. She could give you a decision so quick, you could take it like a ball. And, run with it.

Here?

You're putting a woman in a hot robe. Up in a chair without a TV in front of it. And, she has to make believe she's attentive ... As this liberal judge tied up a lawyer for SEVEN MINUTES ... trying to affirm that the QUANTITY OF DRUGS that were on the truck ... in this woman's possession ...

AFTER SHE'S ALREADY CONVICTED ... shouldn't matter.

(Circuit courts, by the way, even if you're a novice, aren't involved with weighing the evidence used to convict. That's the role of the JURORS. You can even look this up on our US Constitution. It's spelled out. "JURORS ARE THE FINDERS OF FACT.")

After 7 minutes of this questioning garbage ... the chief judge lost her temper.

Losing one's temper is never a great idea.

Telling a man he had to "leave the room" is also a bad idea ... Which every woman learns when she sees a man standing there with his pants around his ankles.)

"Choke-hold" doesn't work either.

Maybe, we need a dictionary of terms suggesting WHAT NOT TO USE ... under given circumstances.

If it was me? I'd have told him to go fly out the window! But, that, too, would have been wrong.

Because? A man has to be Jewish to be Superman.

Obviously, Dennis is an idiot. And, is not Superman.

NEXT TEST?

Beldar said...
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Beldar said...

The Fifth Circuit actually isn't based in Texas, but in New Orleans, Louisiana, and it includes Texas, Louisiana, and Mississippi. Judge Dennis was born in 1936; a Clinton appointee to the Fifth Circuit in 1995, he spent the two decades before that as a member of the Louisiana Supreme Court, and he'd been a Louisiana politician before that. Chief Judge Jones, a Reagan appointee born in 1949, is roughly a generation younger, but she's been on the Fifth Circuit for 10 more years than Judge Dennis, and her career before that appointment was as a partner in a noted BigLaw firm in Houston. Of different generations, politics, and backgrounds, nevertheless, Chief Judge Jones and Judge Dennis have both served together for a long, long time.

In the tranquil environs of the federal appellate courts, it is not uncommon to encounter a judge who's run a bit long or ventured too far down a particular rabbit trail at oral arguments. But any sort of interruption or rebuke of another panel member by the presiding judge of the panel, be that the chief judge or just the most senior member of the panel, is uncommon.

Anga2010 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Steve Koch said...

It would be safer and more interesting if judges interacted with each other through virtual environments "peopled" by avatars. Each judge would have an avatar of his own design. Judges could act out how they feel about each other with no real world consequences (such as assault charges).

Judges could also choose to install behavioral filters in their avatar that would filter out any behavior/communication that they might regret later (boring but maybe more practical).

Anga2010 said...

When I worked at Adam's Extract Company, we would sometimes have meetings in which Mr. Adams (Sr.) would completely loose the plot (mostly because he was 80 yrs old) and we would have to sit through just this kind of "I don't understand" business that Judge Dennis is perpetrating.
We all ended up repeating the same things over and over to him and he was still incapable of understanding (dementia?) and the next day he would be a lot better all of a sudden-like.
Nice of Judge Jones to reign him in, though it would have been better for all of them if she had been able to do it before he beclowned himself.