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27 years old and named "Elmer"? Jeesh. He has obviously had a hard life, beginning right out of the womb.Click on this to see why Mr. McGuirt has faced an uphill battle all his life.
A re-distribution demonstration. Great job Elmer. President Obama will introduce you at the State Of The Union as an example to us all.
That, and having 3 eyes.
This is the story of Elmer McGuirt,He hadn't the moolah to buy a new shirt.His lack of folding cash certainly hurtElmer McGuirt“I have a solution,” did Elmer assert,“I'll rob me a bank,” said Elmer McGuirtAlas, though, the coppers were that day alertTo Elmer McGuirtOn a bus did the cops arrest Elmer McGuirtHanding out swag like it was common dirt.Hillsborough County Jail was his dessert.Elmer McGuirt
Although he had just robed the bank, Elmer was not completely broke.Unless he asked the teller not to spare the change. Elmer had exact change for the bus.
A theory about names.
Sounds like an episode of "Firefly"
Either a little loopy or shrewd - hand out some of the money so he has a Robin Hood vibe and media sympathy going into court.
There once was a man from TampaYear 'round an itinerant camperTwas a bank he did robA Robin Hood jobAnd now he'll end up in the slammer
Remember ole Elmer McGuirtCovered in rags and in dirtHe robbed him some cashGave away his whole stashAnd to jail will he now revert
A fellow in my brother's class by the name of Emit turned himself in for growing pot, apparently so he'd have a roof over his head through a Minnesota winter.That's the story anyhow.This guy makes me wonder if his story is the same.
Emmit might have two "m"s.
I'm going to have a few beers and take a crack at this poem. Or fall asleep.
Robin' da Hood.
"27 years old and named "Elmer"?"What? He should buy a computer and call himself "Anonymous"?
Did you read this news story?"Witnesses" watched him rob the bank and then got on the bus with him to "witness" him handing out the stolen money? Naw, that can't be right.Could it?
He's the new messiah. Send him to Columbia and Harvard law and we'll elect him as President. If Obama isn't an odd name, Elmer shouldn't prevent this guy from promising hope and change. We can show our freedom from bigotry by electing a man with a silly name . . ., like Elmer McQuirt or Mitt Huckabee. Or with a strange religion like Paganism, Islam or Mormonism.So he took money by force and redistributed it. How is that different from the programs the Democratic Party endorses? Or big unions, for that matter?
Elmer McGuirt was down on his luck, but he tried it anyway.He took the bank and he took the bus,launched his giveaway.They cheered and cried even said where to?"I can't go home man.It's not anywhere, my bus stops here,But there'll be beds in the can.Yes, there'll be beds in the can."
THEY SHOULD LET HIM GO!!THEY NEED TO LET HIM GO!!-------------------------------------Ahh Rats...I don't really think that, I just kinda wanna play real crazy ole Western cowpoke for a moment.I'd thank you for indulging me but, well, no one did.Elmer, I think that makes a fine name, especially for a tattoo. You ladies ought to get one and make up a former dalliance with an Elmer, invent a new story every time someone asks, fun fun!uhh, none of the above is structured thought through or rhyme, so I will merely claim prose poem?
Elmer was hopelessly homeless,Penniless, shirtless, and combless.He stole cash one dayThen gave it away.Now he's in jail so he'll roam less.
Bypassing BureaucratsWhy should we fault poor Elmer,Who's living on the street,For taking bits of moneyWithout a bank receipt?He bypassed welfare hasslesAnd bureaucratic rot;He went straight for the bankers,Who have what he ain’t got.I’d call his self-help systemBoth practical and sound:He garnished from the richestAnd spread the wealth around.And now that he is famous,If he can stay alert,He may just have a futureAs Congressman McGuirt.
Rialby's limerick with a few edits for scan and rhyme:There was a young man from TampaYear 'round an itinerant campahTwas a bank he did robA Robin Hood jobAnd now he'll end up in da slammahActually, a figure of crime and rebellion named Elmer McGuirt needs a poet like Robert W. Service. Let's see...A bunch of the staff were whooping up in the downtown Tampra branchYeah, yeah... I'm working on it, I'm working on it! BTW, what rhymes with branch?
Wonderful, Bard!wv: resslys - how I feel if I drink coffee after 10 PM
His name doesn't scan as well as Pretty Boy Floyd, which made for a pretty good Woody Guthrie song lyric. If you're going to be a bank robber, you need a good nickname.
And there it wasan oasiswandering those years in borrowed roomsliving with step brothers and men he called uncleplaying video games and smoking in the parching heatdust on the empty shelveslong walks to the welfaretrading the milk for cigarettesand then it was there an oasison the back of a receipt he printed his requestand presented it shaking slightlyan apologetic thirsty grinblinking into the heating lighthis pockets stuffed he lightly mounted the steps and passing down the aislehe shook loose his pockets and let float into the laps of his fellowsthe cooling evaporating fruit of the oasis
He was sort of a private Fed,With a stimulus to spread.He deserves a big thank-yeJust like Bernanke,But he's off to jail instead.
Very noble of him. Now he's in jail.
I'm waiting for the "Free Elmer" bumper stickers.
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