Idiots respond to idiots. That's a typical — and "favorited" — comment on a Metafilter post about a terrific collection of stupid complaints to the FCC about various TV shows.
IN THE COMMENTS: Another visit from our favorite ghost, Sir Archy:
To Professor Althouse.Sir, you may have whatever Status you like here in my Theatre of Topicks.
As You know, in a recent Letter, I propos'd to take up the Office of Inspector of Lunaticks for this, your Theatre of Topicks (as I call it). Madam, I have not beg'd Preferment, but have only wish'd to place my occasional Hobby on a more regular Footing.
As the Ghost of someone dead these 250 years and more, I had, in my Day, seen many a Madman in Bedlam. I have made an especial Study of Madness and its Causes, and I have scour'd the Ends of the Earth for Physick with which to dose distemper'd Brains; yet I can honestly say, Madam, that nothing has prepar'd me for the Parade of Lunaticks display'd in this Topick.
That a Government Department, charg'd with licensing Television, should receive such Communications, opens a Field of Raillery that only a Dr. Swift could adequately traverse. In my Day, we had to go to the Expense & Bother of hiring a Coach, having a Pique-Nique prepar'd, and spending an entire Afternoon, in order to visit Bedlam on those Days when the Publick were admitted for a Penny, all so we might be entertain'd. Now, You may have more numerous and amusing Lunaticks before You by pushing a Button. Such are the Wonders of the Modern Age.
Madam, I hope you will not take it amiss if I tell you that I shall endeavor to make application to this Governmental Department for Employment. Altho' I was a Gentleman, honest Work was never beneath Me; and I might say that my Knighthood was occasion'd not by my Service in the Army, but my Labour at Administration.
That this Department should need an Inspector of Lunaticks is obvious, and seldom have I relish'd the Prospect of Employment more. As I have been assur'd that my Ghostly State and Foreign Origin are no Disbarments to becoming an American Elector, so I shall make bold to offer my Services to the American Government forthwith. If any of your Audience were able to offer Advice as to best Way to obtain Preferment in a Situation like this, I should be very Grateful.
Wishing always to retain my Amateur Status as Critick of Lunaticks here at Professor Althouse's fine Theatre,
I remain, Madam,
Your humble & obt. Servant,