February 1, 2008

"People like this should be air-dropped into reality. I'll bet dollars to donuts that she voted for Bush. "

"Tens of thousands of kids killed by sanction-wielding, war-monging asswipes in the White House, but she's all upset because of simulated violence. Die of cancer, bitch."

Idiots respond to idiots. That's a typical — and "favorited" — comment on a Metafilter post about a terrific collection of stupid complaints to the FCC about various TV shows.

IN THE COMMENTS: Another visit from our favorite ghost, Sir Archy:
To Professor Althouse.

Madam,

As You know, in a recent Letter, I propos'd to take up the Office of Inspector of Lunaticks for this, your Theatre of Topicks (as I call it). Madam, I have not beg'd Preferment, but have only wish'd to place my occasional Hobby on a more regular Footing.

As the Ghost of someone dead these 250 years and more, I had, in my Day, seen many a Madman in Bedlam. I have made an especial Study of Madness and its Causes, and I have scour'd the Ends of the Earth for Physick with which to dose distemper'd Brains; yet I can honestly say, Madam, that nothing has prepar'd me for the Parade of Lunaticks display'd in this Topick.

That a Government Department, charg'd with licensing Television, should receive such Communications, opens a Field of Raillery that only a Dr. Swift could adequately traverse. In my Day, we had to go to the Expense & Bother of hiring a Coach, having a Pique-Nique prepar'd, and spending an entire Afternoon, in order to visit Bedlam on those Days when the Publick were admitted for a Penny, all so we might be entertain'd. Now, You may have more numerous and amusing Lunaticks before You by pushing a Button. Such are the Wonders of the Modern Age.

Madam, I hope you will not take it amiss if I tell you that I shall endeavor to make application to this Governmental Department for Employment. Altho' I was a Gentleman, honest Work was never beneath Me; and I might say that my Knighthood was occasion'd not by my Service in the Army, but my Labour at Administration.

That this Department should need an Inspector of Lunaticks is obvious, and seldom have I relish'd the Prospect of Employment more. As I have been assur'd that my Ghostly State and Foreign Origin are no Disbarments to becoming an American Elector, so I shall make bold to offer my Services to the American Government forthwith. If any of your Audience were able to offer Advice as to best Way to obtain Preferment in a Situation like this, I should be very Grateful.

Wishing always to retain my Amateur Status as Critick of Lunaticks here at Professor Althouse's fine Theatre,

I remain, Madam,

Your humble & obt. Servant,

Sir Archy
Sir, you may have whatever Status you like here in my Theatre of Topicks.

16 comments:

Jeremy said...

It's always so grating to our soldiers refered to as children.

MadisonMan said...

Those are hilarious complaints. The complainers need to buy TV sets with off switches. They apparently don't have such things now.

john said...

I have a terrific collection of stupid complaints about Ann's favorite TV show. Actually, not so stupid. Decorum, and the wish to continue posting, will keep me from voicing them.

halojones-fan said...

I bet that they'll tell you it's just ironic humor.

Ann Althouse said...

What's my favorite TV show? I need to find out so I can watch it instead of this crap I've got the TiVo saving. "Sopranos" is over. "Extras" and "The Comeback" are done. Is John pissed off about "Project Runway"? "Curb Your Enthusiasm"? I don't get it.

Justin said...

Ann Althouse said ...

Is John pissed off about "Project Runway"? "Curb Your Enthusiasm"? I don't get it.

My guess is "American Idol".

Synova said...

I think it's entirely reasonable for people to want to know what to expect from a television show. That said... someone complaining of being offended by South Park is a hoot. Or Sex in the City. Or Desperate Housewives.

One of the Law & Order complaints was over the episode that made me boycott the whole franchise. It was shockingly easy to do, too. No withdrawal symptoms at all. On the other hand, SVU is *always* about perverted sex. That's the whole *point* of the show.

The lady who had a meltdown over children being shot on television was probably pregnant. Otherwise I'd only expect that sort of reaction from someone who had a child die in real life (or had seen it, or...) (Or who had some non-pregnancy related clinical psychosis.)

Sir Archy said...

To Professor Althouse.

Madam,

As You know, in a recent Letter, I propos'd to take up the Office of Inspector of Lunaticks for this, your Theatre of Topicks (as I call it).  Madam, I have not beg'd Preferment, but have only wish'd to place my occasional Hobby on a more regular Footing.

As the Ghost of someone dead these 250 years and more, I had, in my Day, seen many a Madman in Bedlam.  I have made an especial Study of Madness and its Causes, and I have scour'd the Ends of the Earth for Physick with which to dose distemper'd Brains; yet I can honestly say, Madam, that nothing has prepar'd me for the Parade of Lunaticks display'd in this Topick.

That a Government Department, charg'd with licensing Television, should receive such Communications, opens a Field of Raillery that only a Dr. Swift could adequately traverse.  In my Day, we had to go to the Expense & Bother of hiring a Coach, having a Pique-Nique prepar'd, and spending an entire Afternoon, in order to visit Bedlam on those Days when the Publick were admitted for a Penny, all so we might be entertain'd.  Now, You may have more numerous and amusing Lunaticks before You by pushing a Button.  Such are the Wonders of the Modern Age.

Madam, I hope you will not take it amiss if I tell you that I shall endeavor to make application to this Governmental Department for Employment.  Altho' I was a Gentleman, honest Work was never beneath Me; and I might say that my Knighthood was occasion'd not by my Service in the Army, but my Labour at Administration.

That this Department should need an Inspector of Lunaticks is obvious, and seldom have I relish'd the Prospect of Employment more.  As I have been assur'd that my Ghostly State and Foreign Origin are no Disbarments to becoming an American Elector, so I shall make bold to offer my Services to the American Government forthwith.  If any of your Audience were able to offer Advice as to best Way to obtain Preferment in a Situation like this, I should be very Grateful.

Wishing always to retain my Amateur Status as Critick of Lunaticks here at Professor Althouse's fine Theatre,

I remain, Madam,

Your humble & obt. Servant,

Sir Archy

Chip Ahoy said...

I like the air-dropped into reality line. Air dropped. Has a certain martial quality to it. Requires cargo planes. I automatically think C-130 when it comes to air dropping. Now even that is too martial for me to slip into everyday language, it's off putting and air-force brattish sounding. Now drop-kicked on the other hand is just as aggressive without the military quality, which I would care to do without if complaining about aggression and militarism.

Moose said...

Ann,

I'm down with Sir Archy.

You need to let him blog here with you. He's a great counterpoint to the technorabble (which includes me) who normally post here.

Huzzah!!

Blake said...

One of the Law & Order complaints was over the episode that made me boycott the whole franchise. It was shockingly easy to do, too. No withdrawal symptoms at all.

Really? Which episode?

On the other hand, SVU is *always* about perverted sex. That's the whole *point* of the show.

I find SVU offensive not because of the perverted sex crimes but because the "cops" on the show treat everyone they bring in as a pervert, and they never apologize, no matter how grossly wrong.

The implication to me is that they know who the perverts are, and just because they can't get them on this charge, and have no evidence of any other crime, that doesn't make them any less perverted.

That's pretty offensive.

Blake said...

It does, I suppose, reflect the general attitude toward child pornography: Accusations = guilt.

Synova said...

Law & Order is annoying in a lot of ways but I like shows *like* that. I like shows in that genre.

What made me quit L&O altogether was the Criminal Intent episode where the screwed up Guantanamo psychiatrist lady was "treating" some guy that went nutso and killed someone... or something. They even had the chief or captain or whatever, at one point say, "Isn't that what we do?" after which the guy who screws around with the criminals minds and makes them break every time denies it's even a little bit similar.

But of course what they were stating outright happens at Guantanamo (which was fiction in any case) IS what they do on those Law & Order shows all the time, most particularly on that one.

It was enough. I didn't even get mad, I just turned it off. The dishonesty of the writers wasn't worth getting mad.

Synova said...

I was wrong.

I was thinking of a Criminal Intent episode and the complaint was about a Special Victims Unit episode.

I don't suppose I should be surprised there was more than one with essentially the same message.

knoxwhirled said...

If for no other reason, other bloggers must be green with envy that you've got Sir Archy as a commenter.

Blake said...

Synova,

I remember that episode! I think I've seen it three times and never once been able to make a lick of sense out of it.

It was an astonishing thing that such incoherence made it to the airwaves, especially for what is normally a well-written show. When the series started, you didn't really know which way things were going to cut.

Over time all groups become liberal?