"The swan stared at his reflection below the Dr Pepper dispensers, thinking it showed his mate, park officials said. The swan needed a new partner, but the parks department would not be able to budget for new swans until April, said Sandy Pensoneau, the office manager at the Tri-Township Park District.... Park regulars had been clamoring for a response, Ms. Pensoneau said. 'The people that walk the park every day, they’re like, "Hey, you guys need to do something. This is sad,"' she said...."
From "Swan Seeks Mate: Must Like Cold Lake and Small Flock/An Illinois parks department sought help from the community to find mates for two swans after they lost their companions. Residents responded" (NYT).

34 comments:
All those people clamoring for the Park to do something could easily start a GoFundMe. Maybe spread a rumor that the swan said something racist to a child and they'll raise millions.
How much does a swan cost? Oh, right, a government swan. I understand the problem now.
Bagoh2 wrote the comment I came here to write. It isn't like there is a shortage of swans in the world but it takes government to procure a gold-plated swan and months of paperwork to do so.
He can get an inflatable swan like any self-respecting incel.
"Hey, you guys need to do something. This is sad."
The reasoning behind a great many disasters.
So cover up the reflective portion of the vending machine. The swan moves on and gets on with it.
@bagoh20 LOL!
They can take all the swans they want from Chambers Bay or around Narrows Marina -- last time I put in there you could hardly walk down the docks there was so much goose poop everywhere.
The black female swan cost $1000 and the white female swan cost $2000. What’s up with that? Also, buying female companionship for the guys? Racist and sexist.
I guess, with the war in Ukraine, you can’t mail order Russian swans.
Isn't there an app for this?
tastes like chicken
There must be some swan-attracted persons who will jump at the chance. CC, JSM
Now I have "Badge" playing in my head.
"How much does a swan cost? Oh, right, a government swan."
It's not just the swan, there's a cost for programs (learing centers, if you will) to teach the diversity not to eat them.
So let the swan marry its reflection. Anyone who would oppose this is just a mirror-phobic bigot.
Nine & Fifty Swans
I thought we had Haitians to take care of things like this. The jobs Americans won't do.
> Now I have "Badge" playing in my head
You say this like it's a problem...You say this like it's a problem...
Have they tried Hinge? I'm sure there are available, lonely, single female swans out there just looking for a mid-western hunk. They can fly there - without a reservation.
Swans = Lets pay money to get more
Canada Geese = Lets pay money to get less
Mute Swans are invasive pests that cause a lot of environmental damage. Worse than Canada Geese.
Hey “someone else needs to do something”.
"Mute Swans are invasive pests that cause a lot of environmental damage."
Their PR agent has worked wonders.
Bagoh2 wrote the comment I came here to write. It isn't like there is a shortage of swans in the world but it takes government to procure a gold-plated swan and months of paperwork to do so.
If it's Govt supplied, the swan will be dead on delivery.
Buy A Bird Bride Are Us. That group can handle the problem.
All it has is a Dr. Pepper dispenser? They could at least get the poor thing a decent mirror.
"Lost his mate" as in she died, or she's shacking up with a Canadian goose named Jacque?
"'Lost his mate' as in she died"
Pining for the fjords, perhaps.
Spry paint a goose all white. If he is Pepe Le Swan, he won’t know the difference.
Can’t wait until the 7th Day of Christmas?
Any Haitians in the neighborhood?
roger said... “tastes like chicken”
1/22/26, 10:04 AM
Interestingly, roast swan was a favorite meal for the upper classes in the Middle Ages. It was carefully plucked and cleaned, and the feathers were kept aside. Often it was stuffed, and then basted with highly spiced marinades (likely to disguise gaminess) and then prior to serving, the feathers were re-attached, or in some way arranged to cover the bird, in an elaborate presentation.
innatthecrossroads.com/roast-swans/
Black swans are not native to the US. They are Australian. The black swans may do OK as farm animals and not become major pests, but who knows? There are a number of swan species in the US and Canada, including the Mute Swan which is a serious invasive non-native pest species which destroys wetlands and crowds out the Trumpeter and Whooper Swans which are native. The fact that the NYT would publish this stupid "feel-good" piece without mentioning these things is almost as depressing as the fact that idiots would pay money to find a "mate" for this lost and confused pest.
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