Althouse: "I fell into an oceanic unconsciousness — did a high dive into eternity, circled the solar system infinite times, breathed the breath of my ancestors, became everything and nothing...."

January 27, 2026

"I fell into an oceanic unconsciousness — did a high dive into eternity, circled the solar system infinite times, breathed the breath of my ancestors, became everything and nothing...."

"Eons later, I was reborn. I opened my eyes onto a new world. I would not have been surprised to have discovered myself cradled in my mother’s arms, unable to speak, ready to start my whole life over. Or to find that I had grown a long white beard and that everyone I knew was dead, including the gastroenterologist and his staff, and to have been informed (by the A.I. robots monitoring me) that I was actually the last surviving human being. Instead, I opened my eyes to see a nurse wheeling me into a recovery room. My brain fumbled for a few seconds until it rediscovered a scrap of human language. 'How long was I out?' I asked...."

Writes Sam Anderson in "Want Nirvana? Try a Colonoscopy. It turns out that despite everything you’ve heard, getting a colonoscopy is wonderful" (NYT).

55 comments:

Rustygrommet said...: It's the prep that sucks.; 1/27/26, 8:59 AM
tommyesq said...: Or just do propofol. Of course, that didn't work out so well for Michael Jackson.; 1/27/26, 8:59 AM
Bob Boyd said...: Does that count as a microvacation?; 1/27/26, 8:59 AM
john mosby said...: My last colonoscopy, as I came out of the anaesthesia, I started yelling "I HAVE TO POOP!!!"

(having all the air pumped into you makes you feel like a big BM is imminent, even though you are literally empty) CC, JSM; 1/27/26, 9:00 AM
Jamie said...: All I get from sedation is oblivion, except for the two times I woke up (during surgery under sedation, not colonoscopy). I have one friend, at least, who dreams; I think I actually prefer the oblivion.; 1/27/26, 9:00 AM
Aggie said...: The prep ain' t so bad if you use it to make screwdrivers.; 1/27/26, 9:00 AM
Jamie said...: The prep is also easier if you anticipate it by at least a day with a clear liquid diet.; 1/27/26, 9:01 AM
mezzrow said...: "sounds like a bit of mushroom tea along with the usual anesthetics..." - a cynical reader; 1/27/26, 9:02 AM
Dave Begley said...: Libs are obsessed with getting high. What’s wrong with reality?

Total losers.; 1/27/26, 9:04 AM
Leland said...: It was oblivion for me. I remember up to the moment they put me under and waking up. Everything else was as if I just teleported in time.; 1/27/26, 9:05 AM
Anthony said...: Thankfully, I don't have to have them. It would've been the partially awake sort and I could just see myself repeating the same lame joke -- "If you find any spare change up there, it's mine! Hee Heee Heee!" -- over and over.

As it is, I get the once-every-three-years box and instead of 24 hours of "uuuuuuuuggggghhhhhh" it's 10 minutes of "OMG! OMG! OMG! Agggggh!!!!"; 1/27/26, 9:10 AM
john mosby said...: Are we sure that, when the author says "colonoscopy," he doesn't really mean "buggery?" CC, JSM; 1/27/26, 9:10 AM
John henry said...: I've not had a colonoscopy but I did get anesthetized 4 times in the past few years for stent insertion.

I am not sure if the anesthetic was Fentynal but whatever it was was kind of the same experience. I could have happily stayed in that state forever.

I could easily see myself becoming addicted.

John Henry; 1/27/26, 9:14 AM
bagoh20 said...: I couldn't find a word for my version of it, but I look forward to surgeries at least painless ones, which most are these days.
I like seeing all the apparatus, the procedures, and I enjoy being put under. It used to be more enjoyable as described here, but the new drug cocktails usually put you out suddenly,
wake you quickly and leave no memory of the interim. I've had a lot of surgeries, and they work every time to solve the problem. I also love that for a short time, I have no responsibilities at all, and nobody can ask me to do anything. It's like a snow day.; 1/27/26, 9:16 AM
Cappy said...: Don't know about the entire solar system. Usually my colonoscopy only goes as far as Uranus.; 1/27/26, 9:17 AM
Chest Rockwell said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 1/27/26, 9:19 AM
Chest Rockwell said...: The last thing I remember before going under for my colonoscopy was the nurse arranging things with her cold hands and then saying 'beautiful!'; 1/27/26, 9:19 AM
Zavier Onasses said...: 'Google AI: "All the News That's Fit to Print" is the iconic motto of The New York Times, adopted in 1897 by Adolph S. Ochs....'; 1/27/26, 9:20 AM
Temujin said...: I've done this routine a few times in my life. Enough times that I play a little game with myself to see how long I can stay awake once they start the propofol. My goal is to count in my mind. It goes something like this: "One..."; 1/27/26, 9:23 AM
Bob Boyd said...: I was given morphine once. It was very pleasant. There was no tripping like this guy described. It took away not only the pain, but all anxiety and made it seem as though everything was just fine...even though things were far from fine at the time.; 1/27/26, 9:26 AM
bagoh20 said...: If I got to do it over again, I think I'd be a surgeon, probably veterinary, and learn a lot about music, and chase more women, and fly more planes, and move away from the cold sooner, and have horses...; 1/27/26, 9:26 AM
bagoh20 said...: I had a serious surgery once (10 days in the hospital), and they gave me one of those morpheme drips with the button to push. You could get a little bump every six minutes. It was heavenly. I got a cramp in my button-pushing hand.; 1/27/26, 9:31 AM
tcrosse said...: I have had several of these, and my experience was different, to say the least. Billy Connolly did a bit about his colonoscopy, although it was mainly about the prep, which is where the big laughs are.; 1/27/26, 9:32 AM
Koot Katmandu said...: Could not read the article pay wall. I do not want to support the NYT. My last colonoscopy was done without Sedation. It was fine. I have been more uncomfortable in ying yoga classes LOL. The prep was awful as always. But being able to drive yourself there and away was great. Did not lose the whole day being groggy either.; 1/27/26, 9:37 AM
Ralph L said...: I had one without sedation in '91, until the pain made me convulse on the table and they put me out. I did feel strangely great after the second in 2016.
They expected you to drink a whole gallon of unflavored liquid that made me shudder with every vile sip in '91. Involuntary movement before and during. The worst part is it only ruled out the worst case, it didn't tell me my cats were helping stop my colon from working.; 1/27/26, 9:49 AM
RNB said...: The 'New York Times' is literally pulling copy out of its a$$.; 1/27/26, 9:58 AM
Iman said...: “breathed the breath of my ancestors…”

That was just you passing gas, Shakespeare.; 1/27/26, 9:59 AM
Just an old country lawyer said...: Thanks for the junior high humor, Cappy!

I couldn't get past the paywall either, but what did catch my eye was the most NYT feature headline imaginable: I agreed to let my wife have an affair: do I have to console her now that it's over?; 1/27/26, 10:11 AM
tcrosse said...: One time I was conscious enough to watch the monitor and listen to the commentary. It's not a very interesting trip.; 1/27/26, 10:19 AM
wild chicken said...: Who didn't know this about propofol?; 1/27/26, 10:20 AM
wildswan said...: Agree morphine (after surgery) is great. I understand addicts now. I asked myself: why go back to reality and I answered because as an addict you'll become sick and dirty and you can't afford it anyhow and you'll get some of that fentanyl and die. But I think the real answer was just something in me. I'm very critical now of those who feed off addicts but the addicts? There but for fortune go I.; 1/27/26, 10:22 AM
Breezy said...: I’ve gone through this proc multiple times w propofil. I never remember anything or experience any dreams while I’m out.; 1/27/26, 10:28 AM
Leora said...: I have had 7 colonoscopies and have yet to have an experience such as this. I would like a referral to his anesthesiologist.; 1/27/26, 10:38 AM
Scott M said...: Just remember to have your wife write "EXIT" on your left butt cheek and "ONLY" on the right. You'll be unconscious for it, but when they go to do the procedure, it'll give the staff a hearty chuckle.; 1/27/26, 10:41 AM
Birches said...: Yeah, I had adolescent polyps and have had two colonoscopys while I was relatively young. The first time was oblivion, the second I actually was half asleep the whole time. I remember seeing the room and monitors but time passed really quickly.

I've had a couple more times of being put out for surgery and heavy pain medication. It doesn't do anything for me. There's no pain, but it's not bliss. In fact some makes me nauseous. I guess I am not a good candidate to become an addict.; 1/27/26, 10:44 AM
Just an old country lawyer said...: Trying to out do Cappy in the humor department, Scott?; 1/27/26, 10:46 AM
hombre said...: Think of NYT devotees and the jokes write themselves.; 1/27/26, 10:48 AM
Howard said...: It's the fentanyl and versed talking.; 1/27/26, 10:51 AM
James K said...: "I’ve gone through this proc multiple times w propofil. I never remember anything or experience any dreams while I’m out."

Same here. The nice thing about propofol is that there's no recovery time. It's like those 20 minutes are just clipped from your life. I wish I could take it for my dental exams or the DRE from my urologist.; 1/27/26, 11:04 AM
Disparity of Cult said...: free link for the article -- https://archive.ph/2MB5N

@Koot Katmandu @Jamie -- helpful observations above, regarding no sedation, and prepping additional day(s) on a clear liquid diet; 1/27/26, 11:10 AM
Lem Vibe Bandit said...: "Or to find that I had grown a long white beard and that everyone I knew was dead, including the gastroenterologist and his staff, and to have been informed (by the A.I. robots monitoring me) that I was actually the last surviving human being."

It sounds like "Mr. Nobody" (2009).; 1/27/26, 11:12 AM
Ficta said...: "If you’ve ever had a colonoscopy they give you an injection and you’re out. And it’s black and peaceful, and nice. And so death is like a colonoscopy. The problem is life is like the prep day." -- Woody Allen; 1/27/26, 11:40 AM
rhhardin said...: Covered in Ghost Town (2008) Ricky Gervais as a plot point.; 1/27/26, 11:51 AM
Tom T. said...: "Just remember to have your wife write "EXIT" on your left butt cheek and "ONLY" on the right."

Many years ago, I got sent for a biopsy of my thyroid. Back then, the doctor still used a paper form with several checkboxes, and he made an X so big that it went through both "Thyroid" and Trans-rectal Prostate." I thought about writing "WRONG END" across my rear.; 1/27/26, 12:10 PM
Will Cate said...: Due to heredity I have chronic colon issues, so I'm a frequent flyer. Propofol is a great drug. Don't think I've ever tripped out on it to that extent.; 1/27/26, 12:54 PM
grimson said...: Woody Allen said death is nothing to be afraid of; it's like a colonoscopy--you're out, it's black and peaceful and nice. The problem is that life is like the prep day.

From his presentation of the AFI Life Achievement Award to Diane Keaton.
https://youtu.be/S8AAYTDf87Y; 1/27/26, 1:25 PM
Skeptical Voter said...: There must have been some righteous stuff in that anesthesia!; 1/27/26, 1:58 PM
James K said...: "The prep is also easier if you anticipate it by at least a day with a clear liquid diet."

To each his own, but for me that would be like making the prep two days instead one.; 1/27/26, 2:01 PM
BG said...: I've had seven colonoscopies. The anesthesia I had the time before last was not good. To start off, the anesthesiologist gave me the creeps. When I came out of it, I was alone in my room and had visions of home. And I remember moaning, "I just want to go home." And I felt dragged out and droopy for a week afterwards. I let the hospital know that I never wanted what that anesthesiologist gave me ever again. There is some anesthesia that should NOT be given to older people. The anesthesiologist before him had a wonderful formula for me. No after affects; no nausea; no hallucinations. I woke up alert and fine as could be. So I always make sure they check her notes so they know what works. I had to switch hospitals because of insurance and was happy to see her at my cholecystectomy at that hospital. She even remembered me.; 1/27/26, 4:23 PM
Jim at said...: The colonoscopy is not the problem. The preparation is.; 1/27/26, 4:45 PM
effinayright said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 1/27/26, 4:58 PM
john mosby said...: I seem to be allergic to the prep. Two years ago, I had some wheezing and sniffling, but powered through it since I am allergic to lots of stuff and I didn't want to reschedule the procedure. The doc put me on a different prep last year, and I had no reaction during the prep day, but after I got home from the actual colonoscopy I had huge welts on my abdomen. They went away in a couple of hours. Going to have a sit-down with the doc before this year's buggering, to see if we can figure out the best prep for me. CC, JSM; 1/27/26, 5:15 PM
effinayright said...: I had a Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA) a month ago, apparently leaving no permanent effects.

While being examined by the ER docs, I had to bite my tongue to keep from blurting out an old Homer Simpson line I've always liked.

I saved it for the hospital stay, when the night nurses kept waking me to stab glucose tester needles into me I didn't think necessary:

"I can assure you, my damage is not brained."
_______________________
(reposted to correct typos which falsify my claim!); 1/27/26, 5:19 PM
William said...: The guy had some kind of religious experience. "The god of love has pitched his tent in a place of excrement." I've had multiple colonoscopies with no great epiphanies. Maybe next time....I was given Demerol for another procedure. The drug certainly improved my mood whilst undergoing the procedure, but I've had better highs..... When the drug wore off, however, I experienced a profound and overwhelming depression like nothing I had ever felt before. Darkness visible......Maybe that's the way it works with drug addicts. They're not so much interested in the high as avoiding the crash and depression after the drug wears off....; 1/27/26, 7:25 PM
todd galle said...: I don't recall either of mine.; 1/27/26, 8:19 PM