I'm reading "Why Keeping Score Isn’t Fun Anymore/In a new book, C. Thi Nguyen looks to his personal passions — from video games to yo-yoing — to illuminate the downside of our increasingly gamified world" by Jennifer Szalai (NYT)(gift link).
I see the connection to blogging. I'm going to read Nguyen's book, "The Score: How to Stop Playing Somebody Else's Game" (commission earned).
I thought the article was going to have something in it about how sports betting ruins the fun of spectator sports, but no. Is that in the book? I can tell you that the word "football" does not appear in the book and "baseball" only appears in the context of a baseball cap worn by Tsukasa Takatsu, "a minor saint, beloved of a very tiny sect of passionate yo-yo players."
ADDED: Nguyen sees low stakes as a positive force, but the most famous thing anyone ever said about low stakes is Sayre's law: Responding to "In any dispute the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the issues at stake," Sayre quipped: "That is why academic politics are so bitter." Usually restated as: "Academic politics are so vicious precisely because the stakes are so small."
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Most males long to be the Alpha in some arena. Keeping score is how you measure and there is a strong desire to compete. However, the constant need for that is tiresome and wearying. For the most part I have walked away from many endeavors that focus on competition, but even in simple trivia games, card games monopoly, I play to win. I cannot not. Even now that I am back at school adding to my professional credentials, I don't settle for anything less than the 4.0. However, in my approaching dotage I limit the number of engagements that I strive. Who do I need to impress anymore?
Nguyen, 48, is someone who likes to “maximize processes.” He roasts his own coffee beans with a toaster oven-like contraption that he keeps on his porch, and he uses a manual-lever espresso machine that forgoes the usual blast of steam for the slow pull of hand pressure.
OK, I like to make my beans from scratch, checking the beans for rocks by hand, soaking overnight, spicing by feel, mostly, but my coffee? No, I have an automatic espresso machine that I pour beans in the top, and water in the sides, and clear away the detritus every couple three days. But roasting my own coffee beans? Hmmm.. .... how does the saying go? "I am intrigued, I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter."
I still like to play games where you keep score, if only to measure whether — and by how much — I’m slipping mentally since retirement. So far, touch wood, I’m not.
Interesting how the children and grandchildren of "boat people" have become so successful in USA after facing In SF bay area, many, many Drs. and Pharmacists.
"While the "boat people" eventually integrated into American society, they faced significant public opposition and localized hostility upon their arrival in the late 1970s and early 1980s."
It's all good fun until the banjos start.
The rules act like a trellis, restricting what methods we can use to achieve our goal while also opening up new possibilities
"If you ain't cheatin' you ain't tryin'" I watched an interesting video of how the Florida Panthers cheat in the face off, only changing to an illegal position after the linesman has checked off that there were lined up properly and looks away, and how it directly led to a goal in the playoffs. It was kind of beautiful in and of itself, because it happened within the cracks of the rules, the linesman does not have eyes in the back of his head.
Keeping score is for winners.
I could tell, he really meant scoring the game. When my daughters first started playing sports, we put them in something called “fun, fair, positive soccer”, because franchises were everywhere in Houston. The “fair” was they didn’t keep score, so the athletes could focus on the game and not winning or losing. It didn’t work. When a team dominated another team, it didn’t matter if you kept score, everyone could tell one team was dominating the other. Usually, the dominating team learned how to play better by caring about “the goal”, while the kids there “for fun” (pleasure) got their ass kicked and hated every minute of it. We did one season, then put the girls in competitive softball.
I am an entirely uncompetitive male. I do enjoy watching some competitive sports, but I don't play board or card games or anything like that. Don't do any competitive sports - my exercise is all solo (weights, running, swimming, etc.).
That hasn't made me a layabout in work or play; I'm fairly accomplished in a couple of different fields. I myself am the measure of my performance.
So I get it.
Even when fishing, you care about the size, the species, how many, and if the fish enjoyed your tackle and hors d'oeuvres .
Keeping score is a big part of what makes it a game. I can't think of many things that don't have a scoring system of some type. Even if you try to avoid any scoring, that is itself a goal that you make or don't. You are always trying to accomplish something, and you pay attention to whether you do it or not, which is keeping score in different way.
I'm competitive and try hard to win, but when competing with friends I feel as bad about winning as losing. Best is a hard-fought tie.
The bitterest, most vicious political maneuvering I ever experienced was that around science fiction fandom. Also the least consequential. The combatants in these struggles are referred to as SMOFs (Secret Masters of Fandom).
It is the difference between a PvP server and a PvE server.
bagoh20 said...
I'm competitive and try hard to win, but when competing with friends I feel as bad about winning as losing. Best is a hard-fought tie.
The daughters are learning to play Chinese checkers and settlers of catan. They know how to play but they can’t say they know how to play until they win 25% of the time.
We played Clue the other night and I guessed the three cards after 5 questions in a 4 player game. They learned they had to try to be sneaky with their questions and Clue is more like poker than a detective game after that.
I was happy to go to bed early.
"Nguyen argues that problems emerge when the stakes become all-consuming, taking over our sense of self and dictating what we should value....""
Uber and Amazon have costumers rating my every move. It's not fun when their review doesn't match with the dash-cam's video and the apps drive tracking. State Farms is also silently tracking me btw.
In short. People lie all the time and I just have to make my peace with it.
"Phony knowingness is more lavishly rewarded than genuine doubt"
this is the stone cold truth, and matches the incentive structure of social media like YouTube exactly.
During Covid I got to be quite good at FreeCell. Then when I had my second operation I became unable to win. So I set out to regain that state of mind where you mostly win. It's just as the author says - in one way, it was low stakes in that your mind drifts and hovers over the cards when you are in the winning mode but in another way, it was high stakes because I wanted to start winning again. And when I wanted to win, then i'd propose rules to myself and make tense observations - and I'd lose. And I'd knew what I was doing wrong, so I'd tensely tell myself to relax and naturally that didn't work. Just somehow I got in the rhythmn again. I could drift fearlessly ... and win.
Yah I'm all for Wheel-O, cup and ball, pecking chicken paddles...a few Christmases ago the kids got me a ball on a string tied to a head strap. They said it was exercise and training but they know me too well...
I love my hobby militarism (war- and strategy games including miniatures) but am sometimes embarrassed by how seriously winning and losing is taken by others.
Friendships have been strained and grudges nursed over very trivial matters.
Golf without a friendly wager is boring. Even a $2 Nassau makes it a game instead of a practice session. For years (before I moved away) I played matches against a buddy for which the prize was a post-round shot of top-shelf Irish whisky. We had epic battles, even when (for purposes of the league we played in) we were technically on the same team.
I have some friends who refuse to wager even for fifty cents a hole. Good people, and I still play with them, but it isn't nearly as interesting. Having to make a four-foot putt with "big bucks" (sometimes as much as $5 or more!) on the line is what it is all about.
Also have played with buddies for a buck a hole, plus "junk" for birdies, greenies and sandies--and the winner has to buy a round for everyone after the round. So you win $4 and pay $20 for the drinks. But you really, really want to win that $4 and are happy to pay for the drinks.
Keeping score is a civilization thing cherished by the actual Beta males whom mostly dominate wealth and politics. We know they are Betas because they are attracted to weak, dependant women and underage girls. A true Alpha breeds with strong smart athletic women who will talk back because they desire strong smart athletic and highly capable offspring. True Alphas are mostly concerned with the success of the tribe, team, platoon, etc. rather than the self.
That'said, keeping score is important. Documenting success or failure is critical to success because if you don't measure it, you can't manage it. In games and life, the Alpha is:
"Magnanimous in victory, gracious in defeat" means showing noble character by being generous and kind after winning (magnanimous) and accepting loss with dignity, courtesy, and a lack of resentment (gracious), emphasizing that true strength lies in character, not just power. It's about respecting opponents, learning from outcomes, and maintaining integrity, whether succeeding or failing.
Alpha's don't need to tell you how alpha they are or why.
There is category of cooperative games that are surprisingly fun to play. All the players are trying to beat the game, so you aren't competing against each other, you are competing against the game.
I highly recommend The Crew card game, and the sequel, The Crew: Mission Deep Sea is even better than the original.
https://playpartygame.com/card-games/best-cooperative-card-games/
That's right Bago. It's like a nickname.
The Misconception's Origin
Scientist Rudolph Schenkel introduced the "alpha" concept in the 1940s based on captive wolves.
Biologist L. David Mech popularized it but later recanted, stating the idea of constant fighting for dominance is incorrect and that wild packs are family-based.
In essence, an "alpha" wolf is simply the parent leading their family, not a dictator who won a violent power struggle.
"In essence, an "alpha" wolf is simply the parent leading their family, not a dictator who won a violent power struggle."
How he gets to be the parent is the whole point, not pack politics.
I don't know why we look to other species to figure out our own. Don't we know human behavior best of all?
How much joy is there when your team isn't winning? Is it really that different from waiting for clicks or likes? Scoring is always exhilarating for the winners. Not so much for the losers. Maybe what makes sports different is that there is usually only one loser. In college rankings and among internet influencers, there are hundreds of losers.
Also, what makes Nguyen's lifestyle and personal habits any more interesting than say, Henry Wallop's?
"Academic politics are so vicious precisely because the stakes are so small."
Usually attributed to Henry Kissinger, but it seems like a common thought among those with experience in academia.
A Vietnamese colleague advised that a pragmatic American pronunciation of the name Nguyen is to just say "win".
I've seen the 'small stakes' comment attributed to many different people . . . it's one of the great aphorisms and I'd claim it myself if I could get away with it. (In fact, I have used it in naive company and basked in the admiration at being so clever.)
Which leads to a different observation about the frequent accusations here that someone is posting for pay. I don't rule that out but I am skeptical--a life spent on a university campus provides plenty of evidence that people (often quite intelligent people) will argue bitterly and at length about very small or large matters without thought of pecuniary gain.
It's the cussed nature of homo academicus.
I play a lot of golf with my buddies. We always compete in one game format or another -- we keep score. It (the competition, the scoring) adds stress, but makes us better. Being better leads to more joy. Hmm, sounds like the rationale for free markets. Iron sharpens iron, and usually involves sparks. Must everything be feminized?
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