"... from academia to Hollywood that remains critical of more conservative lifestyles. While the country rightfully spent recent decades boosting the educational and economic prospects of women, it deindustrialized, axing and outsourcing jobs in heavily male industries, and leaving men and women increasingly out of step with one another. Efforts to make the workforce and education system more friendly for girls have led to emphasizing literacy and verbal skills, a hemorrhaging of male teachers, and the decline of shop classes and vocational programs.... The trend line of women reporting a declining desire to marry may indeed reflect pessimism about their prospects rather than the institution itself — and not for ideological reasons so much as practical ones...."
Writes Emily Jashinsky, in "A marriage gap is growing — and it could spell disaster/The 'war on boys' could be resulting in some women shunning marriage" (WaPo).
It seems that both men and women regard the members of the opposite sex as unworthy of marriage.
Posts
193 comments:
No fault divorce made marriage an economic loser for men.
So democrats have now destroyed marriage and also put us on a path to self destruct and not replicate ourselves. Way to go.
Regarding the AWFLs "shunning" marriage. That's pretty easy to do if no men want to marry you. And it's a problem that will take care of itself as their genes get eliminated from the gene pool.
I would add that the corollary of this phenomenon is that those women who believe in traditional marriage and generally like men also seem to love children and having more than their fair share of them. Problem solved.
planetgeo said...
..a problem that will take care of itself as their genes get eliminated from the gene pool..
yes! once the ONLY people in the world are Muslims, no one will care what white people used to be
What did they think was going to happen? Left to guess I imagine something like a happy ending of a Nora Ephron movie where high value men end up with late middle aged career women.
It’s been my experience that Evangelical Christian churches have more eligible women than men in attendance. Not sure why that is. Maybe women are more receptive to the gospel message than. Or men are just too stubborn.
And another plus - the women are less likely to have head-to-toe tattoos, purple hair and nose rings.
the corollary of this phenomenon is that those women who believe in traditional marriage and generally like men also seem to love children and having more than their fair share of them
Yah, the twenty somethings in my orbit are doing just fine in that department thank you…
1. Industrialization and modern healthcare resulted in a much larger percentage of...unhealthy...people surviving to adulthood.
2. Society used to feed its non-breeders to military combat deaths or ship them off to monasterys and convents.
3. Social safety net programs deincentivize male economic achievement and family ties. See the correlation between single black motherhood and LBJ's Great Society.
4. Movies, video games, social media, and p0rn lead to unrealistic expectations for relationships (i.e., men want perfect 10 models and Stepford Wives; women want perfect men with Elon Musk's money).
You know who are collateral damage in the war on working class men? It's working class women. Desiring children, they have relatively short unstable relationships with men who've been sidelined by an economy that's discarded them and a culture which states they are a problem to be emasculated.
The result are women scraping by trying to raise kids while cycling thru man after man. This is the reality of the world we created.
gilbar, I'm not sure how to break this news to you, but most Muslims, genetically, are in fact "white".
They think of themselves as brown
“It seems that both men and women regard the members of the opposite sex as unworthy of marriage.”
A stunning bit from Althouse. This is the inevitable result of feminism.
This writer discovers something available on YouTube for years. Try "hoe_math" on marriage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDhde8MSwBA&t=8s
Men's educational and career opportunities significantly diminished - women hardest hit. Predictable.
hmm?
so i typed in "Muslim Demographics", and google returned this:
"Muslims make up about 26% of the global population, with an estimated 2 billion adherents worldwide. The largest populations are found in Indonesia, Pakistan, and India, with significant communities in the Middle East, Africa, and parts of Europe and Asia."
so, YEAH, planetgeo.. MOST pakis think of themselves as white.
tell me another one
And yet fewer children are able to read st grade level, there has to be a correlation
I've seen noted a couple of times that, somewhat counterintuitively, the number of children a married woman has and the number of children an unmarried woman hasn't changed much over the decades. The fertility crisis is in some respects due to the overall decrease in marriage rates.
It started with the war on babies, progressed with the war on boys, now a war on girls, a Diverse conflict equitable and inclusive, including labor and environmental arbitrage, redistributive change schemes, progressive prices, etc. Wicked solutions are the Choice, choice in lieu of reconciliation by mature actors.
A civilization, a society, a culture in transition.
I married at 41. I was stupid in my earlier years. Marriage is not perfect, and takes work, but it is better than being single.
... there will be collateral damage, millions, billions in human rites and green corruption.
Enigma at 649 - Bravo!
The GenZ kids are more verclamped about having to pay half of their monthly salary for a room in a shitbox apartment they share with roommates.
gilbar, what pakis "think" of themselves doesn't change what they are genetically. I thought we've gone beyond that whole thing where if a man thinks of himself as a woman, etc.
Growing or progressing? Evolving, as boys and girls mature, and reconcile their dreams, hopes, and expectations with the reality of two imperfect parties equal in rights and complementary in Nature.
Perhaps with our society's obsession with youth fewer of that generation think about who is going to take care of them when they grow old? Unless you burn those bridges, no state agency or social worker will care for your elderly self more than family.
As with our Posterity, commitment in unions, perhaps marriage, are the hardest jobs you will ever love.
The insufferable barrister who runs london into the ground
Thinks of himself as white
As I type this a time traveler is sneaking up on Hillary's cradle.
A big part of the problem is the toxic environment cultivated by what started as PC in the 90's and evolved into woke more recently. Men and women are being encouraged to disrespect and even despise the other sex, seeing the scrum of compromise required to build a solid life together as hostile competition. People are being conditioned--whether by Andrew Tate or any of the modern woke feminists (I couldn't come up with a single well-known person)--to see the other sex as a problem to be controlled and/or overcome.
That failure of emotional and intellectual generosity, not the job market, is at the heart of the problem.
"This is the inevitable result of feminism."
Exactly. Give women options, and dependence on a man doesn't look so appealing. Women don't want to stay home all day raising kids any more than men do.
Doesnt think of himself as white
Assuming US politics approaches rationality (ha ha), there is an easy legislative fix. Well, it will make a fair number of men happier at least, which should count as an improvement.
Create an open immigration category called "ladies night", where immediate entry is allowed for good looking young women from wherever. There should be a qualified immigration officer at every consulate to make this on the spot judgment at the interview.
So theres the mens problem somewhat handled, thanks to the wisdom of the Federal government. The women are a much harder case.
"It seems that both men and women regard the members of the opposite sex as unworthy of marriage. "
I think there is a little bit of Sour Grapes going on here for both men and women. For a lot of women the men they want to marry do not want to marry them and those women get stuck in 'situationships.' For a lot of men the women they are interested in don't even want to date them. However regarding this coping mechanism I think there is a bit more of it from the women than the men. It is a more feminine instinct to seek out and provide this kind of emotional palliative care. There was a recent article that wondered if having a boyfriend was embarrassing now. I think this kind of article is aimed at single women to help them feel better about being single.
For whatever it is worth I think this decline in marriage is happening in other countries as well. I believe China's CCP has decided the fault lies with women having unrealistic expectations and has put out statements saying things like, "women expect that a CEO will suddenly become interested in them." I think the CCP has blamed media for this and is putting pressure on soap opera and romantic dramedy producers to set more 'realistic' expectations.
Rampant obesity is also probably an issue. Generally, even the obese do not want to marry other obese people.
Women are disillusioned by social progress to keep them affordable, available, reusable, and taxable. Men are disillusioned by social progress with "benefits" and collateral damage. Neither sex is surprised, should be surprised, by the investment and reconciliation required by marriage and our Posterity. Fidelity has a long lifetime in union. #HateLovesAbortion
"....Boys’ plans for marriage have barely budged since 1993, dropping to 74 percent from 76 percent. Girls, however, swung away from marriage by double digits. In the early 1990s, 83 percent of girls wanted to get married. In 2023, 61 percent said the same....Today, around 40 percent identify as liberal, compared with just 19 percent who say they’re conservative....Looking out on a pool of less marriageable men, young women are turning their backs ."
I'm sure the journalist thinks she's reporting this even-handedly, but..... has she considered the idea that she, too, might be part of the problem?
Brings to mind the old maxim, paraphrasing: "A man marries a woman thinking she won't change, and she always does..... A woman marries a man thinking she can change him, but he never does..."
Marriage is an unattractive option for a lot of young men who witnessed their fathers, older brothers, or friends get taken to the cleaners in divorce. Their opinion is that any benefits of marriage are far outweighed by the risks. Divorce courts are widely viewed, with justification, as wildly biased to favor women.
@Humperdink: "It’s been my experience that Evangelical Christian churches have more eligible women than men in attendance. "
Dude, those are the pros you're seeing. They're looking for their next husband.
Boys, stay away from "benefits" and artificial inducement. Girls, stay away from clinics and liberal leisure. You'll both have a gay and productive time in a natural and equitable state as you strive together.
Men fuck when they can
And marry who they want
Women fuck who they want
And marry who they can
I read The War Against Boys in 2000 before I had a son. A quarter century later, society is beginning to think about maybe perhaps addressing the problem, at some point.
Life is an exercise in risk management. You can't bake without the heat. How can you bake without the heat? Diversitists! Leave them kids alone.
The historical solution to the lack of socially suitable marriage partners was to marry one of your cousins.
@Left Bank of the Charles: The historical solution for lack of marriage partenrs was for ~~most~~ women to becomes concubines or join a harem. By choice or by force.
See China, old Europe, the Middle East, African tribal kings, Elon Musk's brood mares, etc.
To think, when I was a teenager, the social critics were appalled about people marrying and having children too young. So many children!
Yet I think the most trustworthy male is was the boy you met in college if not in high school. After that, it's the Wild West.
I've been making this case for years in various discussions with friends and online in various social media. Christina Hoff Sommers book crystalized for me what I had been reading in multiple articles over a few years leading up to its initial publication. The issues were leaking out and being pointed out early on, but by too few, and being paid attention to by almost no one.
And now we're at the point where the schism between the direction of young women and the direction of young men is so vast, I'm not sure we have the time to get it back. We're on a path to literally run out of people. We have placed a higher value on staying single and pursuing career advancement over (both men and women) slowing the career a bit to take the time to marry, have children, create a family- you know, something that is real and has staying power.
I have known too many middle aged professional women who are single with no children and are miserable. Sure, it's my anecdotal examples, but they've been numerous, including within my own family. I see the emptiness as they find themselves now at a place with nothing more to strive for than...what? Another title at work? The bars are no longer so much fun to go out to every night and after work...what? Go home to an empty condo overlooking a busy city?
Somewhere, for some reason, we sold our young women and young men a bill of goods about life. That bill is coming due now. We'll see if the youngest of the working gens can figure this out and clean it up. But they've got their work cut out for them.
planetgeo seems to have detached himself (itself?) from reality.
GREAT JOB geo! keep it up!
Howard said...
The GenZ kids are more verclamped about having to pay half of their monthly salary for a room in a shitbox apartment they share with roommates.
Housing prices are the key to winning the next election.
The first candidate to tell Blackrock they cannot own single family homes and they have 1 year to sell them all wins in a landslide.
"Looking out on a pool of less marriageable men...
Are there fewer "marriageable" men, or are the men in the pool each "less marriageable" along a spectrum? Either way, a case of "shrinkage."
"I was in the pool!"
Pesky i's.
"...schism between the direction of young women and the direction of young men is so vast, I'm not sure we have the time to get it back."
In the USA and some other countries, yes. For a generation or more, American sex and romance is turbo-screwed. Many of us saw this coming and boarded lifeboats to other countries and cultures where gender roles weren't flipped 180 because a cathode ray tube told them to.
Tom T. said...
"This is the inevitable result of feminism."
Exactly. Give women options, and dependence on a man doesn't look so appealing. Women don't want to stay home all day raising kids any more than men do.
If women had to do real jobs they would rather stay home and raise kids.
There is a small number of women that do real jobs and add value to society.
Most women do bullshit jobs where they doom scroll all day and complain to HR about their boss after she fucks him and doesn't marry her.
If they had to lay bricks or install fiber cable or run an oil rig instead they would be staying home to raise kids.
It made for a better society back when marriage was more of a business transaction between two people and two families, and before all the "soulmate, true love forever," BS crept in. Maybe, after the coming Great Cull thins our population out, can we again realize that a stable society is far more valuable than today’s wrongheaded notions about personal fulfillment. Only then can we regain some of what has been lost. Our worst problem now is our expectation that comfort and personal fulfillment are the be-all and end-all of life. It’s not.
Have an almost 25 year old son. Leans conservative. Couldn’t tell you the last time he mentioned being on a date. Maybe a pickleball meet up a year ago. Relocated for a job recently. His new apartment complex seems to have many twenty something women out walking their dogs in the early morning. Encouraging him to join a church. Will see how that goes.
"Deep State Reformer said...
It made for a better society back when marriage was more of a business transaction between two people and two families, and before all the "soulmate, true love forever," BS crept in."
What damage hath Jane Austen wrought?
My fav part of the White left female revolution is all their toxic lies.
"Marriageable" does a lot of work that sentence.
"The historical solution to the lack of socially suitable marriage partners was to marry one of your cousins."
Then for two hundred years we had a high trust society where cousin marriage was not really a resort, and then we destroyed it by importing millions of people who lived in an entirely different moral universe to tear that down.
Easy, peasy, go back two hundred years!
Men pursue careers to make themselves attractive to women and, generally, these days, women pursue careers to avoid or to be able to break off an alliance with unsuitable men.
The woman isn't trapped in the marriage as before, so the man can't control the arrangements as well. And she has her own money so his mode of exchange doesn't buy what it used to.
Telling men to do better or women to lower their standards doesn't work very well.
And that's not even factoring children.
Thinking about it, the Elon Musk model has a lot to recommend it. Musk gets a never-ending string of attractive women (to the extent he wants them) and genetic success corresponding to his great achievements. The women get the attention (temporary though it is) of a great man, some of his assets, and his children, which is THEIR genetic success.
There doesnt seem to be much domesticity in this, but that may not be what Elon wants.
European monarchs sometimes used to operate on this model. Augustus ("the Strong") of Saxony was very Elon-like. Others had a desire for some degree domesticity, Louis XIV and Louis XV doted on their acknowledged mistresses (though XIV changed them out periodically), while maintaining a string of less-attached paramours, who usually would go on to marry men of lower status. These models allow the very ambitious females to share the most dominant males, at least for a while, without succumbing to servitude in a harem.
For all the complaints I see here about women’s attitudes toward men, this comment section is an almost unbroken stream of contempt aimed at women as a group. I honestly can’t recall the last time I saw a woman in these threads broadly trashing “men” the way men here routinely trash “women.”
Maybe - just maybe - that constant negativity is one of the reasons some women end up with a pretty jaded view of men in the first place.
Even the guys here who don’t openly trash women often write as if they’re talking about a slower child when they reference women
"it deindustrialized, axing and outsourcing jobs in heavily male industries, and leaving men and women increasingly out of step with one another. "
Yeah, it almost sounds like if we gave a shit about men, that tariffs would be a solution. But women don't benefit from them so that's out.
"And she has her own money so his mode of exchange doesn't buy what it used to."
It was nice of men to build a world in which women could live comfortably and have all of the work women used to do done by machines, and now that men have lost access to women, we continue to be nice by paying the taxes to the government, which then takes credit for it while showering benefits on women.
Nice guys finish last.
There is a lot of "consciousness raising" going on among men.
I understand that the Democrats have a solution, jobs for men as soldiers in resource wars around the world.
If you're operating a domestic bordello, then both sexes are doing it wrong.
"women aren't trapped in a marriage"
Women control access to sex.
Men control access to commitment.
How's not being trapped in marriage working out?
Ann Althouse said...
Men pursue careers to make themselves attractive to women and, generally, these days, women pursue careers to avoid or to be able to break off an alliance with unsuitable men.
The woman isn't trapped in the marriage as before, so the man can't control the arrangements as well. And she has her own money so his mode of exchange doesn't buy what it used to.
Telling men to do better or women to lower their standards doesn't work very well.
And that's not even factoring children.
Women before feminism: Get married to man. Have kids. Raise them.
Women after feminism: Get bullshit education/HR job. Fuck the boss. He moves on to the next intern. Go on tinder a sort for 6 foot tall for 15 years. Live your best life. Turn 35. Decide to settle down and find the "right" guy. Realize they don't want a fat run through harridan with baggage. Buys cats.
How is that working out for women? What percentage of women are on SSRIs now? Are more or less women happy now compared to 50 years ago?
Current laws for divorce, and feminist rhetoric, make marriage a losing proposition for most men. I don't blame them.
The difference between the olden days and now is that we now have effective birth control that makes having children a deliberate act rather than a byproduct of sex.
Eva Marie said...
For all the complaints I see here about women’s attitudes toward men, this comment section is an almost unbroken stream of contempt aimed at women as a group. I honestly can’t recall the last time I saw a woman in these threads broadly trashing “men” the way men here routinely trash “women.”
Maybe - just maybe - that constant negativity is one of the reasons some women end up with a pretty jaded view of men in the first place.
Even the guys here who don’t openly trash women often write as if they’re talking about a slower child when they reference women
We don't trash all women. Just the ones who are on only fans and tinder.
Notice that when men "trash" women they talk about specific actions and behaviors of women.
Women on the other hand talk about men without actually citing behaviors.
It seems that both men and women regard the members of the opposite sex as unworthy of marriage.
--------------
Imagine that. You all spent so much time telling us the sexes are like two different species that neither gender wants to just "assume the role" and buckle down to perform the stereotyped action expected of their sex...
Oh, but they must each complement each other, you say. You're born into a body with a role to play in life... Don't try to get out of it now, boys and girls!
Lol. Imagine that not going over well in the 21st century, ann. Not everybody wants to drop back into your Daddy and mommy days of the 1950s, like you were raised... (nevermind the "single mom" days of the 1980s and beyond.)
Do you ever accept there are consequences for actions, and the current society of "grown up" boys and girls today are the generations your generation raised? Maybe, just maybe... these kids see marriage, like religion, is "disposable" like everything else in our commodified day. Including innocent human life...
(Hint? You're not going to find the answers from ezra klein and gavin newsom. They're not the future, not the hungry ones coming up. They're the spoiled boys hanging on to the coattails of past ways... they remind people of their sons/grandsons. lol. Give em another few millions, surely they'll come up with solutions to fixing American society in time? lol)
@Eva Marie: I saw a woman in these threads broadly trashing “men” the way men here routinely trash “women.”
The basic issue is that a woman reaches her mating economic peak just after puberty, and then loses mating value year after year after year until menopause. Beautiful women are born winners, but their young ages provide zero awareness of proportionality (e.g., they are routinely perceived as b*tchy, cruel, or stuck up).
In contrast, young men are poor, weaker than adult men, and utterly ignored by women. You must pay to play. Peak male power happens between age 40 and 60. Outside of the most handsome, men always must $pend and take risks to get female attention let alone fund a family. They routinely deal with years of isolation and rejection before their status is high enough. They remember it and gripe (here).
Blame evolution and nature for the economics of sexual reproduction in a species that requires years and years of childcare.
Humperdink: "It’s been my experience that Evangelical Christian churches have more eligible women than men in attendance. "
Aggie responded: “Dude, those are the pros you're seeing. They're looking for their next husband.”
For some maybe, but not on the whole. They are coming to church for the same reason I did. Seeing the emptiness in this world I realized there has to be something else. And there is. Eternal life through Jesus. Give it a shot. It won’t hurt you.
Christopher B said, "How's not being trapped in marriage working out?"
If the stats are believable, women are controlling access to sex so well large cohorts are having less of it then ever before.
Eva Marie said...
The difference between the olden days and now is that we now have effective birth control that makes having children a deliberate act rather than a byproduct of sex.
And that was the trap.
When men and women have sex one of the things that happens is Oxytocin is released in your brain. This is the neurotransmitter that facilitates memory and emotional bonding.
In men things don't change much as you switch partners.
But in women having more than one sexual partner changes brain chemistry. They adapted to an environment they couldn't control. Women can live in a pair bonding mating pattern or a dominant male harem mating pattern.
Women with higher body counts are much much more likely to cheat in a marriage.
Who just wrote this?
“Women after feminism: Get bullshit education/HR job. Fuck the boss. He moves on to the next intern. Go on tinder a sort for 6 foot tall for 15 years. Live your best life. Turn 35. Decide to settle down and find the "right" guy. Realize they don't want a fat run through harridan with baggage. Buys cats”.
That is a generality about women.
Howabout this:
“
The basic issue is that a woman reaches her mating economic peak just after puberty, and then loses mating value year after year after year until menopause. Beautiful women are born winners, but their young ages provide zero awareness of proportionality (e.g., they are routinely perceived as b*tchy, cruel, or stuck up).”
You guys really need to read your own comments.
RideSpaceMountain said...
Christopher B said, "How's not being trapped in marriage working out?"
If the stats are believable, women are controlling access to sex so well large cohorts are having less of it then ever before.
About 20% of men and 80% or women are having a lot of sex.
Eva Marie said...
You guys really need to read your own comments.
You should point out how we are wrong.
Granted I've seen and heard of a lot of "mating problems" - bad divorces, sad women in their 40s, frustrated young men, etc. However I can't say its ever affected me personally. Maybe I've been lucky.
"Even the guys here who don’t openly trash women often write as if they’re talking about a slower child when they reference women"
The 'Modern Woman / Slow Child' Venn Diagram is doing all it can.
I am Laslo.
"You guys really need to read your own comments"
That IS very much a female style of complaint.
Men would just call each other assholes, and explain why. Sometimes in great detail, with citations, diagrams, spreadsheets and formulas.
Here's an archive link to the piece, if anyone else wants to read it. https://archive.is/eMFlw
I found she accepts no part of the blame for what is happening.
“You should point out how we are wrong.”
No, I’ll leave that to all the other women in your lives.
Notice how this conversation was Framed by Ann and the woman who wrote this article:
"Looking out on a pool of less marriageable men, young women are turning their backs on the institution, bolstered by cultural messaging..."
So we start out with women bitching about men.
When men here point out that there are 2 sides of this coin women get all butthurt.
And the feminists can't figure out why we are here.
They were used as harem girls and discarded by elite men and now they want to complain about the men they were shitting on the last 50 years not being marriageable.
But really do carry on.
Eva - Achilles is a lost cause. He hates and blames all females except the insane sellout and conspiracy-nut super-Jew hater - Cadnyass.
@buwaya, even if mansplaining is assplaining, it's always better than complaintsplaining.
Given that, long long ago I learned never to argue with my wife.
And managing women requires a substantially different approach.
Pretty easy to see the men up in here who don't have(cant get) a woman that will put up with their nothing to offer whiny mess. The days of ward and June Cleaver are way gone .Patriarchy is a tired worn out ideal of the past ,my moms, my wife(45 years) an other women in the family have always carried their own weight and at times bailed out their men without resentment, ya gotta come into the real world and out of the little shelter you probably live in,todays relationships take TWO TO TANGO. June Cleaver is dead.
To see what Women-First does to a system, simply watch the WNBA.
Free from the influence of Men on the court, the Women are thuggish, resentful, spiteful, and practically incapable of successfully executing a simple lay-up.
And I don’t believe that is just because they are mostly lesbians: I am open-minded that way.
I am Laslo.
However, the women here have never married me, nor am I responsible for them.
Eva Marie said...
“You should point out how we are wrong.”
No, I’ll leave that to all the other women in your lives.
Typical bullshit. You take no responsibility.
My wife is home schooling my kids. My wife and I were virgins when we met and we have been monogamous our whole lives. I got lucky and found a good woman.
It is difficult in the extreme for young men to find women like that.
Relationships are a negotiation. What women refuse to accept is that your value goes down as you age and it goes down as you have more sexual partners. That will never change. You can complain about it all you want.
My daughters are going to understand exactly what it means to act like a whore when they are younger and put off getting married until they are old and used.
I am not going to lie to them like you and Ann want me to.
Just had a quick look and about half the WNBA teams have male coaches.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_current_Women%27s_National_Basketball_Association_head_coaches
Peachy said...
Eva - Achilles is a lost cause. He hates and blames all females except the insane sellout and conspiracy-nut super-Jew hater - Cadnyass.
When a person cannot argue on a logical level they tend to go for straw men and ad hominem.
It makes people think you are stupid when you do that.
What makes shake my head: Seeing that blond pony-tailed lady reffing NFL games. Where did that come from? I guess I already know.
"My wife and I were virgins when we met and we have been monogamous our whole lives." - neither was true of either of us. We didnt homeschool either. However our daughter finished summa cum laude at UCLA. And was hired -while in school- by a highly prestigious engineering company with a very, very "flighty" reputation and an extremely eccentric celebrity boss.
@Eva Marie: Stop your circular logic and ALSO QUOTE MY PARAGRAPH ABOUT MEN. You intentionally took a sex difference comparison out of context.
Just because you don't like the cold realties of nature doesn't mean they are not realities. The sexes are not remotely the same -- they are complimentary. Males often have more in common with males of different species than females. Females often have more in common with females of different species than males.
Channeling Laslo's inner-Bundy: "Don't try to understand the WNBA, guys. WNBA players understand the WNBA, and they hate each other."
Comparing Patriarchy: 1950s vs. Today
Key Shifts in Patriarchy
Women’s Careers: In the 1950s, women’s work was often temporary until marriage. Today, women are deeply embedded in professional life, reshaping expectations of marriage and family.
Marriage Pool Dynamics: Some sociologists argue that women’s rising education and career ambitions, combined with economic stagnation among men, have made traditional marriage less attractive or feasible.
Subtle Patriarchy: While overt “male head of household” norms have faded, patriarchy persists through wage inequality, underrepresentation in leadership, and cultural double standards.
Family Diversity: The modern family defies categorization—single parents, child-free couples, and same-sex marriages all challenge patriarchal assumptions.
Challenges & Trade-Offs
Persistent Inequality: Women still earn less on average than men and face barriers in leadership roles.
Cultural Backlash: Some movements seek to reassert traditional family roles, showing patriarchy’s resilience.
Economic Pressures: Dual-income necessity can strain families, but also empowers women with financial independence.
Bottom Line
Compared to the Ward and June Cleaver days, patriarchy today is less visible but still influential. It has shifted from being a household-level authority system to a structural and cultural force embedded in workplaces, politics, and social expectations. Women’s expanded career involvement and diverse family forms have eroded the old model, but the struggle against systemic inequality continues.
And women don't need to put up with whiny old men who have "more important then" attitudes when it comes to women. My moms would never put up with crap,worked full time and raised a family even in the late 40's and 50's. Too many prima donnas today who think they are the chosen ones.Thats why they are alone, one wants to be around that mess man or woman..
I did read to the kids a lot. From one fish two fish through half of Terry Pratchett to the Iliad and the Odyssey up to (I gave up on it due to the sex, I got tired of bowdlerizing and skipping over, and they were complaining) "The Right Stuff". Well, they got something out of it.
My not too academic boy showed me his new interests, Gibbon, and Runciman on the Crusades.
Boyd: “ As I type this a time traveler is sneaking up on Hillary's cradle.”
No need to kill a baby. Materalize the Tardis in the Wellesley and Yale LS admissions departments, and move her folder to the reject piles. She’ll go to U of I, marry a frat bro who becomes a floor trader at the CBOT, and enjoy a career as the terror of the Jaycees. CC, JSM
The men are all running Christmas tree farms or working as large animal vets in the small hometowns these ladies left for big city careers.
That's what I've learned from Hallmark movies at least
"She’ll go to U of I, marry a frat bro who becomes a floor trader at the CBOT, and enjoy a career as the terror of the Jaycees."
She might even have been happier. I wouldn't want to be in the Jaycees though.
"Ann Althouse said...
Telling men to do better or women to lower their standards doesn't work very well."
On November 17th, 2025 in a post regarding Larry Summers texting with Epstein, Althouse also said...
"Just keep descending until you find success: that's your level."
Isn't this piece of advising people to lower their standards?
"Just had a quick look and about half the WNBA teams have male coaches."
Being a Head Coach in the WNBA is mostly a ceremonial position. Like being the Aviation Instructor of a kindergarten class.
I am Laslo.
Long run - you see why D's have to have immigration, because, otherwise, D's will die off.
There's a book review in today's WSJ where the reviewer, a professor at a Virginia university reports that 45% of the young women in his classes have never been asked on a date. You aren't going to create many intact families if that report is correct. You will create a large class of cat ladies.
Laslo at 1010 - Nice.
@ Mosby
That was proposed and rejected. The Committee voted unanimously to kill the baby.
" 45% of the young women in his classes have never been asked on a date. "
I asked out every one of the women in my classes, undergrad and grad school. Time travel could fix so, so many problems.
A.I. will help reverse the trend as the professions A.I. can easily replace are ones women have gravitated to in order to keep their hands clean. Soon women will be looking for men with large dirty and damaged hands, and I'll be sitting pretty on my thrown of dirty laundry that's beyond the capabilities of any detergent yet created. The future belongs to the filthy.
Some members wanted to nuke the cradle from orbit saying it was the only way to be sure.
Maybe an AI to take lonely college girls out? I guess that would take a robot too, for appearances sake.
There is an expanding group for whom this BS is true with today’s “feminists” leading the hue and cry. There are, however, plenty of young people looking for traditional relationships with traditional values. Charlie Kirk showed us this. Lefties hate traditional families and other traditional values. That’s why Charlie died and Democrats cheered.
"... so his mode of exchange doesn't buy what it used to."
It still does, but the price has gone up. Even successful women usually marry richer men.
"Rampant obesity is also probably an issue."
I think this is more an issue than most would think. I bet there are a lot of men and women who overlook a large swath of eligible people because they are fat. There is a reason why so many people are on diets, drugs, surgery, and the gym, and we all think we should lose a few pounds, even those who don't need to. That's how powerful the thing is.
A great part of my memoirs deal with this crap. I wish I had learned earlier.
This unflushed toilet of a society may just start to revert to more traditional modes before too long and then women WILL want men to guard the doors and keep the fires going. There's going to be blood spilled before that happens though, unfortunately. Perhaps not a full Mad Max level societal breakdown, but it may get close. Ladies, when that happens I wouldn't depend on help from your managerial alphas to keep you safe but instead maybe look to some pudgy HS grad who can bring home a rabbit or a sack of turnips regularly, who can keep the fire going, and the car running. Just saying.
buwaya said...
"My wife and I were virgins when we met and we have been monogamous our whole lives." - neither was true of either of us. We didnt homeschool either. However our daughter finished summa cum laude at UCLA. And was hired -while in school- by a highly prestigious engineering company with a very, very "flighty" reputation and an extremely eccentric celebrity boss.
We have spent our entire lives being outliers. Bell curves don’t really apply to us.
Your daughter has talent and probably has something to contribute to society that is more valuable than 4 or 5 kids.
That doesn’t apply to most women. The jobs most women do are bullshit jobs and we would be better off if they didn’t exist and those women contributed 4 or 5 kids instead.
I have daughters. They are very smart. But if they choose to pursue a career instead of kids they will know my wife and I would have chosen to do it differently if we went back 30 years.
2 or 3 more kids would have been better than a bunch of stuff.
Skeptical Voter said...
There's a book review in today's WSJ where the reviewer, a professor at a Virginia university reports that 45% of the young women in his classes have never been asked on a date.
1. Take out the nose ring.
2. Lose 50 pounds.
3. Don’t use the word patriarchy.
Men are not complicated and they are not picky about things you can’t control.
But if it is something you can control then we use that to judge.
Achilles, is that you Nick Fuentes?
Ladies, don’t marry men with autism. They are not marriage material. You will ruin your life and the lives of your innocent children.
My nearly forty-year-old son has found a gal online--they were almost neighbors but had never crossed paths.
She's a decade younger, pretty, and has great . . . tracts of land.
Of course, when it came to dating, romance, and sex we've always adhered to Don't Ask, Don't Tell, so I have no idea what experiences either of the youngsters have had.
As it should be.
Deep State Reformer said, "...then women WILL want men to guard the doors and keep the fires going."
Nah they're all going to be badass Katniss Everdeens kicking multi-district patriarchist capitalist butts by the truckload all by thereselvesess...if that's ok the mullahs and their sister-wives that is.
I have offered my girl $100,000 per grandchild, cash on the barrelhead. She said "noted".
Granted when said aerospace company goes public next year she could probably buy me and sell me.
Reproductive biology is unforgiving to women. I guess if I were offering advice to 18 year old women embarking on the great American feminist journey of prioritizing career over marriage and children, at least get a good quantity of your eggs harvested and stored because you will likely need them if you can't find a marriageable man by the time you are 40.
The comments in this thread prove my point. The criticisms flow entirely one way - from men toward women as a group. Have any of the women who comment here made so many negative generalities about men?
Eva, aren't you generalizing a complaint against men based on the unrepresentative subset posting here?
Achilles may be rubbing some here the wrong way but he has the right of it, and his scathing appraisal is correct. Quite honestly, what do young women bring to the table, in terms of marriage? They have no domestic skills (and refuse to change that) look down their noses at solid, blue-collar men in favor of the elusive potential “right” man with a hefty bank account, and although supposedly college educated, are not particularly bright or well read.
Chateau Heartiste covered this in his (now archived) blog a decade ago when all this was gearing up. One can dismiss it as mere observations from those engaging in “the art of game” but the SSH (socio-sexual hierarchy) is real. On some levels many women are still girls, pushing Daddy’s buttons to see what she can get away with. As the strategy is refined, her shit-tests become more and more obnoxious, and a sensible man will just walk away.
“Eva, aren't you generalizing a complaint against men based on the unrepresentative subset posting here?”
No. I am specifically talking only about the commenters on this blog’s threads.
"The comments in this thread prove my point. The criticisms flow entirely one way - from men toward women as a group. Have any of the women who comment here made so many negative generalities about men?"
Women like yourself aren't the targets of the critique so I wouldn't take it so personally. However, note that the critique is responding to this article specifically and its claims about men of today. Had the article been about men complaining about the lack marriageable women, I strongly suspect the exact same commenters you are frustrated about in this thread would be laying broadsides into the men doing the complaining and in a generalized fashion. I also note that most of the men who comment here are married and have young or adult children (I am one of the few exceptions.
LASLO SPAULA! JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS! I, for one, welcome the return to these comment threads of more substantive surreal absurdity. WELCOME, WELCOME!
And hey, nice of you not to neg on the Ls in the Ladies League. Hard enough to play thug b-ball without introducing gender bending sexuality onto the court.
"I wouldn't take it so personally"
Frauen die Schwesternschaft an erste Stelle. Schwesternschaft über alles.
I dont know why I seem to be such an unrepresentative sample, but...
The young American women I know aren't as described. They do have domestic skills and can cook. Some have mechanical skills. One had a summer job pulling cable and putting up sheetrock. One raises sheep commercially. A couple are genuine artists. Most are quite well read. A couple even play D&D.
Granted I haven't interviewed their boyfriends for signs of heartbreak, so I wouldnt know about that. From my limited sample I dont see anything terribly wrong with them. If I were in my 20s the world would be looking quite promising.
If you happen to be familiar with the oeuvre of Taylor Swift, you will be aware that her concerts during the ERAS tour with arenas jampacked with nubile young women, featured joyful exclamations of the sentiment, "Fuck the Patriarchy". This is not laying the foundation for a stable social order. Many men are unwilling to live in a matriarchy. It hasn't been a gigantic success in the African-American community. If there is a way to have an Equarchy that doesn't make men into indentured servants and/or eunuchs, let me know.
”The trend line of women reporting a declining desire to marry may indeed reflect pessimism about their prospects rather than the institution itself — and not for ideological reasons so much as practical ones...."
Weasel words like “may indeed”’ don’t commend the author or her work to me. There’s too much curling up in an ivory tower and pontificating among academics.
What are women’s expectations of marriage? Do they want a partner? Or a sperm donor?
“Women like yourself aren't the targets of the critique so I wouldn't take it so personally.”
That’s not my point. My point is this:
Most complaints here come down to this: “Women are too critical of men, and it’s feminism’s fault (or women’s fault in general).”
I don’t see the reverse.
Just an observation. Carry on.
Women are always too critical of men. That probably goes back to Homo Erectus. His wife was probably annoyed by his being erectus at an inconvenient time and etc. You know how it is.
Men usually suffer in silence, as did poor Homo Erectus.
“Women are always too critical of men.”
Yep. That’s what you guys here keep saying over and over again.
"I bet there are a lot of men and women who overlook a large swath of eligible people because they are fat."
I don't think it is an unreasonable standard to want to be physically attracted to a potential partner.
buwaya said...
I dont know why I seem to be such an unrepresentative sample, but...
The young American women I know aren't as described. They do have domestic skills and can cook. Some have mechanical skills. One had a summer job pulling cable and putting up sheetrock. One raises sheep commercially. A couple are genuine artists. Most are quite well read. A couple even play D&D.
These women are jewels to be cared for and cherished.
The problem is when you get down to brass tacks. For society to be healthy the vast majority of women should be having their second child when many are graduating from college.
If you say that out loud women will try to ruin your life. They can’t just disagree.
They will pretend your wife and female children will hate you too. Just look at how normally rational women are acting on this thread.
The Vault Dweller said...
"I bet there are a lot of men and women who overlook a large swath of eligible people because they are fat."
I don't think it is an unreasonable standard to want to be physically attracted to a potential partner.
Women in the United States have been born into a country where they literally just need to not be a bitch and not be fat and they will be taken care of. There has never been a time in history when so much was available for so little effort.
But the nature of woman is that it is never enough.
So we get a thread like this one where women bitch about how bad modern men are.
I would really be interested in seeing Althouse's "private closet" where she and Meade keep their sex toys. Her continual habit of posting on subjects where she knows that the comments will be nothing but a litany of misogyny and "He Man Women Haters Club" remarks (btw where are RHardin and Shouting Thomas today, these types of posts are catnip for them), leads to me to the conclusion that she is one hell of a masochist.
“So we get a thread like this one where women bitch about how bad modern men are.”
Ok, that was funny.
“Lefties hate traditional families and other traditional values.”
I have many friends who are left wing. Academics and in business. Almost all are married to good people who are pretty compliant with standard morality. What they do is focus hard on the status of their kids and make sure they get in the right groups, do well in good private schools, and prepare to get into top universities. With many you suspect they want schools to stop teaching algebra and such so that other kids will be hobbled and their kids will win the game of eliteness.
Ending up old with several million for your kids is a great way to propel them into the right group of people. I don’t see leftists as really empowering the poorer classes other than as “the help.”
"Marriage" is a contract. The terms of that contract have been set such that marriage no longer serves people. So of course they are going to avoid it - especially men.
When the marriage contract is SOOOOOO one-sided, then women have priced themselves OUT of the marriage market and all the stability and security that marriage once brought.
As a result, they suffer more. As God intended when he banished us all from the Garden of Eden over what that bitch did.
For elite politicians there are definitely things like the current Somali circuit, where politicians allow a certain minority class to steal and expect to get nice campaign money out of it, like in Chicago where the gangs donate to democrat ward healers, but they don’t want their daughters to marry them.
Young women are expected to be self-supporting, well-groomed and attractive, healthy and fit, financially independent and prudent spender, reliably low-maintenance, steadfastly empathetic to others, and yes, emotionally-supportive of their partners, family and friends. I get a headache just thinking about that tall order of expectations. And no, many young women can't meet the criteria, won't ever meet that big benchmark, and would prefer to live vicariously through social media posts from women who pretend to "have it all".
Young men? You mean the adult-children still living with their parents at age 35 with marginal jobs, few prospects, and a gaming system which consumes chunk of their waking hours?
For those here bitching about all the comments being critical of women. You are welcome to make the counter arguments or criticize modern men, but attacking comments just for existing is almost admitting they are unassailable, otherwise you could assail them with arguments.
Have spent 45+ years in a predominantly white male white-collar profession. Its academic programs are now 50/50 split male/female, DEI has made substantial strides in both academic and entry-level positions, but senior partner positions at most prominent firms still mostly awarded to white men. In my generation of professionals, only half the women married (or long-term partner relationship), maybe a third have a child, and very few had more children; of those women who married, substantial number were primary breadwinner and had house-husbands who didn't work outside of home or had 9-5 job with zero overtime. Many women who married were 2nd wives of men with children from their 1st marriage. Lot of women never married, never had children, dedicated to their career and "married to the job", until retired, or more frequently terminated at 62-63, find themselves in their 60s, alone. Sad story, think their firms took advantage of their eagerness to have "big career", with final result not being a big career at all - for most, more like female loyal helpmate to more important BIg Guy in Office.
I would be remiss if I did not point out that when females constitute 60% of college graduates then only 2/3 of them can expect to marry a male college graduate.
For those here bitching about all the comments being critical of women. You are welcome to make the counter arguments or criticize modern men, but attacking comments just for existing is almost admitting they are unassailable, otherwise you could assail them with arguments.
To argue with a bunch of misogynists is just a waste of time. Nothing I can say will disabuse of your notion that women are yucky and evil.
Which is why I think that the reason that Althouse continually returns to this topic is because she derives some kind of pleasure by being abused by you all.
Marriage has been in decline for anyone born after 1940. The percentage of Never-Married-at-Age 40 bottomed out at 6% in 1980 (those born in 1940) after declining steadily from 1910's 16% (those born in 1870). But those born in 1940 -1955, were also those getting the divorces in the 1970s. So the intact marriages were even less. The rate increased from 1980 passing 16% in 2000 (born in 1960) and was at 25% in 2022 (born in 1982). And if you've never married at age 40, there is only a 25% chance of marrying before age 65.
Those who were children from 1970 on, were likely to either be children of divorce or see it in friends. So marriage wasn't really being shown in a good light for 50+ years.
Now it's a problem?
And the tell is right there in the "less marriageable men" which these days means 6', 6-figures, advanced degrees working in an office instead of with his hands.
The only reason for a man to marry is to have children and even then he has no assurance they will be genetically his, though always his financial burden or that he won't be alienated from them by the courts.
From Season 1 of True Detective. The two men, working as partners to solve a series of murders, are having coffee in a diner. One is married, the other single and a bit of a ladies' man (played by Matthew McConaughey). The married guy is having problems with his wife, and explains he's been sleeping on the couch. In reaction to this his partner says: "This thing between men and women. It's only supposed to work to produce children. Beyond that, it's not supposed to...work" (probably paraphrasing a bit).
I think about this frequently, especially these days. Maybe the cultures that keep men and women separate are onto something? The longer I spend as a post-menopausal woman (now 64) I can't help but marvel at the design of Mother Nature's "Biochemical Trap". Flooding our bodies with hormones and feel good brain chemicals when we experience sex, making us most fertile during our most reckless, teenage years. Once my body was clear of youthful estrogen, I had to ask myself "what the FUCK was the last 35 years ABOUT???" It's like walking out of a fog.
Maybe it IS only supposed to 'work' for children.
"otherwise you could assail them with arguments."
I think that's the problem...there isn't one.
BTW: if r/AskMen on Reddit is representative at all, men are forgoing dating women as well. Both sides are retreating.
The Failure of the Straight White Man
@Jon Ericson, the meme is real. Not failure outright...for a lot of straight white men, the world they were raised to survive in no longer exists.
Feminist are absolutely BLIND to the reality of intrasexual competition between women - my biggest compliant about the ideology. The constant whining about "The Patriarchy" as a source of all female ills...nary a thought that other women are the ones holding up strict beauty standards in a world where men are attracted to ALL KINDS of women.
Freder Frederson said…
To argue with a bunch of misogynists is just a waste of time. Nothing I can say will disabuse of your notion that women are yucky and evil.
Freder is just too stupid to engage. We already knew that.
But he is the perfect example of the beta loser democrat male who simps for the boss babes but never gets laid no matter how hard he tries. He will probably help some woman raise another man’s children though.
Maybe you can get Doug emhoff or bill clinton to get a girl pregnant for you.
Increasingly young men are rebelling against a system where 20% of men fuck all of the women and women expect the men they have been shitting on all their lives to raise other men’s kids.
I Gave My Love A Cherry
Over the last 50 years, white men have jobs and white women have careers.
ALP: "Once my body was clear of youthful estrogen, I had to ask myself "what the FUCK was the last 35 years ABOUT???" It's like walking out of a fog."
Think what it's like to be the man married to the woman walking out of the fog. CC, JSM
Not IL: "Young women are expected to be self-supporting, well-groomed and attractive, healthy and fit, financially independent and prudent spender, reliably low-maintenance, steadfastly empathetic to others, and yes, emotionally-supportive of their partners, family and friends. "
Men are expected to do all those, too. Empathy and emotional support look different among males, but they're there. CC, JSM
Josephbleau: "Chicago where the gangs donate to democrat ward healers, but they don’t want their daughters to marry them."
I wouldn't want my daughter to marry a Democrat ward heeler, either! CC, JSM
There's a commercial that's been running lately for a financial services company. I don't remember the exact dialog but it goes something like this...
Husband and wife are meeting with an advisor, talking about their goals. Wife says "House, baby, ...". Husband expectantly says "babies?" and wife responds "Baby." (with the period- end of story) in the sort of tone you'd use to correct a child who has spoken out of turn.
What happens next? Let me guess...
Five years later, the couple has the house and baby. The wife decides she's no longer happy and they divorce. She gets the house and a monthly alimony/child support check, he gets to see his kid on the weekend, maybe even without supervision.
And the NYT will feature yet another article (by a female author) lamenting the fact that men are increasingly immature and unwilling to commit to serious relationships, with absolutely no idea why that might be.
Josephbleau @ 1:16pm,
The problem with these friends of yours is that they don't preach what they practice.
@Ampersand: Taylor Swift’s “All too well” includes the lyric “Now you’re tossin’ me the car keys — Fuck the patriarchy”. I read that as referring to the idea that it’s traditional for the guy to drive, and by having the chick drive they’re stickin’ it to the man. I hope that’s meant ironically. (I don’t know if “Fuck the patriarchy” appears in any of her other lyrics.)
Possibly women were "turning away" from marriage even before men were and before men became "less marriageable," but sure, blame the men.
Lucien:
I've seen TS concert footage in which the FTP phrase was screamed in unison by the tens of thousands of deliriously euphoric women in attendance. Not ironically. The TS music has tapped into a river of misandry.
ALP's wonderfully candid sentiments about coming down from her estrogen high after 35 years has a ring of truth. One day I looked around and wondered why I once wanted to put my male gametes into the reproductive organs of every attractive woman in the world who wanted to let them in.
Comically insane. Sociobiology is real.
"Freder Frederson said...
I would really be interested in seeing Althouse's "private closet" where she and Meade keep their sex toys"
Are you related to "lone justice"?
Dedicated to all you guys who have been wronged by women (ignore the AI generated lyrics. They’re crap)
https://youtu.be/oBTJbdnp7e0?si=-xy-8tsTwmv2Mp_h
At least tangentially related to this topic
https://thembeforeus.substack.com/p/divorce-propaganda-and-the-myth-of
"For society to be healthy the vast majority of women should be having their second child when many are graduating from college."
Put another way, for society to be healthy, the vast majority of men also need to find a way to persuade women to be having their second child when many are graduating from college. Responsibility is shared by all.
Plenty of men seem to have no idea how to approach this task. Pining for the old days when men didn't have to work as hard to impress a woman because women had fewer options isn't going to accomplish anything. You can't keep them down on the farm now that they've seen Paris.
Duh, if i was out there today looking for a husband, i'd probably opt out of marriage all together. Pickings are slim, regardless of political leanings. I see a lot of the same negatives in men that i saw when i was single in the '70's. I was an educated woman, and there was a plethora of men who discounted my education and only saw me as a mom candidate. How limiting. I have to say that a lot of those attitudes prevail today. Look no further that Petey Hegseth. Ugh. No moral compass, no respect for women, no values at all. Ew
Tom T. said...
"For society to be healthy the vast majority of women should be having their second child when many are graduating from college."
Put another way, for society to be healthy, the vast majority of men also need to find a way to persuade women to be having their second child when many are graduating from college. Responsibility is shared by all.
Plenty of men seem to have no idea how to approach this task. Pining for the old days when men didn't have to work as hard to impress a woman because women had fewer options isn't going to accomplish anything. You can't keep them down on the farm now that they've seen Paris.
I was just waiting for more.
"I was just waiting for more."
The Husband Store
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:
"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store!!!
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives Store just across the street. The 1st floor has wives who love sex. The 2nd floor has wives who love sex and have money. The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.
Lot of women never married, never had children, dedicated to their career and "married to the job", until retired, or more frequently terminated at 62-63, find themselves in their 60s, alone. Sad story, think their firms took advantage of their eagerness to have "big career", with final result not being a big career at all - for most, more like female loyal helpmate to more important BIg Guy in Office.
Women who object to the patriarchical drudgery of cooking and keeping house for the comfort of their husbands and children somehow don't seem to have a problem with spending the prime years of their lives tapping a keyboard in a windowless cubicle and nurturing nothing but a soulless corporation's profitable bottom line.
I am beyond blessed that my wife had zero ambition for a girl-boss career. She LOVES keeping a tidy house and trying out some new recipe she knows I'll like. She LOVES being able to sleep in as late as she likes, and do as much housework as she feels like doing (always quite a bit more than I think necessary), and blowing it off when she feels like it. She LOVES long lunches with her friends or going to the gym or taking some class that appeals to her or going shopping on a whim or binge watching a new TV show or reading a book all day long if that's what strikes her fancy.
I love the routine of getting up early and busting my ass for 50 or 60 hours of demanding work per week, and making plenty of money to allow her to live a life of pleasant, mostly idle comfort, because I know when I get home I won't have to do a damn thing but enjoy a drink and a nice hot meal and an evening in our own private world doing our own things.
My wife got pleasure from staying home all day with her own flesh and blood, and living and working by her own schedule. She had no interest in long commutes, cutthroat office politics, after-work booze-ups, mechanically grinding genitals in soul-sucking on-the-job affairs with worthless men, or being stabbed in the back by bitchy gossipy frenemy women.
Because of her dedication, our kids are normal, stable, sensible, debt free, not on mind altering drugs (illegal or prescription), sober, self-supporting, love their mom and dad and want to spend time with us, and God willing, soon will be gracing us with grandchildren. Life is good for both of us and I don't think she'd do one thing different if we did it over again, except maybe have another kid or two.
So is bearing and raising children the most important job any human being could be called to do or is it living a life of pleasant, mostly idle comfort? Or is it both?
Post a Comment
Please use the comments forum to respond to the post. Don't fight with each other. Be substantive... or interesting... or funny. Comments should go up immediately... unless you're commenting on a post older than 2 days. Then you have to wait for us to moderate you through. It's also possible to get shunted into spam by the machine. We try to keep an eye on that and release the miscaught good stuff. We do delete some comments, but not for viewpoint... for bad faith.