"I have to be a macho man. You can’t ask for help when you’re trying to impress the girl you’re with."
Said Mitchell O’Brien, quoted in
"Man Sinks in Quicksand and Emerges With a Girlfriend/A Michigan man who ended up waist-deep on an unstable beach was rescued, and found himself in a relationship" (NYT).
A comforting thought: "As it happens, drowning in quicksand in real life is
nearly impossible, scientists say. Sand is denser than the human body, so even if one’s legs sink, the air in the lungs keeps the body too buoyant to go all the way under."
And
here's that John Mulaney bit about quicksand: "I always thought that quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be. Because if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life — behind real sticks of dynamite and giant anvils falling on you from the sky. I used to sit around and think about what to do about quicksand. I never thought about how to handle real problems in adult life, I was never like 'Oh, what's it gonna be like when relatives ask to borrow money?' Now that I've gotten older, not only have I never stepped in quicksand—I've never even heard about it! No one's ever been like, 'Hey if you're coming to visit, take I-90 'cause I-95 has a little quicksand in the middle. Looks like regular sand, but then you're gonna start to sink into it.'"
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43 comments:
I learned how to save people who were sinking in quicksand from Tarzan movies. I was ready for it!
Getting stuck in quicksand and drowning are two different things. Just because you're not going to sink into quicksand and leave nothing but your hat, doesn't mean its not dangerous. You can get stuck, and if its cold, you have a risk of hypothermia, among other problems.
One nightmare I used to have is being out on a tidal flat being caught in quicksand and then seeing the tide slowly come in. I never have it anymore, probably because I stopped eating rich tomato sauces for dinner.
Probably the most horrifying example of "Trapped and drowning" occurs in the movie "Sometimes a great notion" where richard jaeckel get trapped in a river under a log, and slowly gets pulled under and drowned. Paul Newman tries to save him but cant. The usual leading man superpower fails in this one.
This came up last night on Gutfeld, in response to a viewer-mail question about childhood phobias. Gutfeld blamed a quicksand fixation on unoriginal 70s TV shows.
JSM
So he did end up trapped in the end.
It's like a new kind of dating test.
How does potential boyfriend react to stepping in quicksand? Squeals like a five-year old --> Dump him. Remains calm --> Marriage material!
rule one don't step in quicksand
rule two, actually it doesn't matter after that,
In tidal northern Florida it's not quicksand we worried about, it was the "quick-mud" and a rising tide. Beyond that it was cotton mouthed moccasins, alligators and fiddler crabs eating your eyeballs while you writhed in agony. My 10 year old fears still haunt. Tarzan movies were so fake. We dealt with the real thing. Can't believe I'm still alive. We'd come in from a day of adventure far from the eyes of any adult and our parents would casually ask.us how our day was. After recounting our travails with death they would nod and go back to their cigarettes and early evening cocktails and we would wash up in the hose outside.
The childhood era wherein quicksand was a frequent safety issue was training for life. Recognize and avoid this risk. If inadvertently trapped, have a friend handy to help escape. If no friend is around, stay calm and use common sense to save yourself. Good stuff, that, for any kid to learn.
The 1960s-1970s TV and movie writers wouldn't use more realistic childhood health risks, like suffocating while hiding inside an abandoned refrigerator, or jumping off roofs with an umbrella, or helping strangers find their lost puppy, because they were responsible. They didn't want impressionable young skulls full of mush watching their show, trying the risky behavior, and getting their show and their job canceled by outraged parents. That didn't stop writers in the 1980s, who frequently showed all those risky behaviors and more in their rush to provide edgy plots that were socially transgressive, damn the kids and their whining parents. So, progress, right?
Recognize and avoid risks. Use a buddy system for rescue from risks. Stay calm and save yourself if alone. Kids today could use more quicksand plot devices in their lives.
Addendum: And the time Mrs King spanked us all for putting captured baby alligators in her tub. No matter how fast I ran I could not beat that mom to mom phone call and I got another spanking because Mrs King had to spank me. Then a long and constructive lecture from my dad about the stupidity of pissing off mom and her friends so that he had to listen to it to. And then a pat on the head and questions about the whole thing which he thought was pretty cool, but don't tell mom.
"Sand is denser than the human body, so even if one’s legs sink, the air in the lungs keeps the body too buoyant to go all the way under."
Instead, worry about the wild animals that will eat your face while you are stuck up to your chest in quicksand.
"As it happens, drowning in quicksand in real life is nearly impossible, scientists say."
of course, both hypothermia and starvation are EXTREMELY Likely if you're alone..
Last time *i* was stuck in the mud, it took two people to get me out. Was Pretty Glad i wasn't by myself
In fourth grade I was taught that if stuck in quicksand, to lie calmly on my back and that I would float above the quicksand, i.e. the quicksand is denser than my body. I was also taught that you could swim in the quicksand by then doing the backstroke.
I am still leery of going on a three-hour tour in a small boat.
Like John Mulaney, between cartoons and grade B movies from the 60s where it seemed quicksand was always a danger out there, as a kid I thought for sure quicksand was going to be a problem for me once I got older and traveled a bit. As it turns out, feces in the streets of San Francisco was a more prevalent danger.
NYT should stick to this kind of stuff.
"quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life — behind real sticks of dynamite and giant anvils falling on you from the sky."
100%
Back then, if the atomic bomb didn't get you, the quicksand would. It's a wonder any of us survived.
We didn't have any encounters with quicksand--not even in the Nonconnah bottoms. Probably our most dangerous pastime was crouch-crawling through the storm drain system, which we could do for blocks around.
Good thing it didn't rain when we were down there. If we had been swept away we would have been found in the Nonconnah bottoms . . .
Mud flats plus tidal bore are way more dangerous:
‘Mother Nature has no mercy': Man gets stuck waist-deep in Alaska mud flats, drowns as tide comes in
"ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) — A man who was walking on tidal mud flats with friends in an Alaska estuary got stuck up to his waist in the quicksand-like silt and drowned as the tide came in before frantic rescuers could extract him, authorities said.
Zachary Porter, 20, of Lake Bluff, Illinois, was submerged Sunday evening as the tide came in, and his body was recovered Monday morning, Alaska State Troopers spokesperson Austin McDaniel told The Associated Press. A member of Porter’s group called 911 when they couldn’t get him out, but it was too late, authorities said.
The accident was the latest tragedy at Turnagain Arm, a 48-mile-long (77-kilometer-long) estuary carved out long ago by glaciers that travels southeast from the Anchorage area and parallels a major highway. At low tide, the estuary is known for its dangerous mud flats made of silt created by glacier-pulverized rocks. At least three other people have gotten stuck and drowned there over the years. Many more have been rescued, including someone who was fishing there last month.
“It’s big, it’s amazing, it’s beautiful, and it’s overwhelming,” Kristy Peterson, the administrator and lead EMT for the Hope-Sunrise Volunteer Fire Department, said of Alaska. “But you have to remember that it’s Mother Nature, and she has no mercy for humanity.”
...
Earlier this month, a man was rescued from the mud flats after one leg became stuck, and he sank to his waist while fishing in Turnagain Arm.
Peterson said they got the rescue call after Porter was in serious trouble, and it takes time to mobilize. Another department — about an hour’s drive away — also responded.
Peterson urged people to call 911 as soon as possible.
“If you think that there’s an issue, if you think that there even might be an issue, call,” she said. “Because we can get resources moving, and we would rather turn around and go home then it be a disaster.”
"Because if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life — behind real sticks of dynamite and giant anvils falling on you from the sky."
Which is why you should always carry with you an Acme Anti-Sink Board.
Acme always has a solution,
https://wegotthiscovered.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/wile-e-coyote-looney-tunes.png?w=1200
I found some quicksand canoeing on the Wisconsin river once. It was not very good and I had to jump up and down a bit to sink up to my knees. It was an underwater spring where water flowed up thru the sand and fluidized it. Quite interesting.
From the article...
"I have to be a macho man. You can’t ask for help when you’re trying to impress the girl you’re with."
Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man (Macho man)
I've got to be a macho man
I've got to be a macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho! Ow!
Macho, macho man
I've got to be a macho man
Macho, macho man (Yeah, yeah)
I've got to be a macho!
gspencer - 10:45
and teeny tiny umbrella.
A new version of the "cute meet". Let's call this the "doofus meet". Whatever, it worked.
Quicksand is on the spectrum. It’s insensitive to call it quicksand, when there is nothing quick about it.
Quicksand in "Gilligan's Island" was stupid, but not out of place. In "Get Smart," "Batman," and "Lost in Space" it was stupid and very out of place. It did sort of work in "Tarzan."
Internet factoids: Every TV series produced between 1962 and 1973 featured one quicksand scene, and almost 3% of films produced in the 60s had a quicksand scene. The first one is certainly false. The second one, who knows?
Our parents, though, didn't like TV and encouraged us to use our own minds in creative play, so I was more worried about the floor turning into lava than about quicksand.
I know one of the studios had a gadget to look like quicksand, that an actor or stunt man could sink into. There was a platform he would stand on that would be lowered within a tank full of some sort of sludge. I assume that because they had this thing, they had to use it.
It depends on the density of the mix/solution, which will likely not be known until tested.
I worry about the lack of funny comedians.
If this guy wrote for SNL, it explains a lot.
Hobo, monster, quicksand, evil clown, toy comes to life - all made the Kid Fears chart back in the day
We encounter quicksand fairly often on our beach, usually where a stream is backed up into a small pool above the level of the bay. The sand in the area between is often "quick", and you might easily sink to your knees. Most of the time I see the situation before I step in it.
The case in Alaska cited above is likely not really quicksand, just exceptionally gooey mudflats. I worked in estuaries a lot, and I've seen people (and been) almost hopelessly mired in the stuff. We actually had to help a fellow researcher out once. However, our tidal range is rather small most of the time, and you could probably survive being stuck in it for a couple of tidal cycles.
Farm people know the best way to get rid of chipmunks, take a 5 gal plastic pail and fill with water, set it next to your flower garden wall or steps. Pour a box of Quaker Oats in it. It will look solid. The rats will jump in, thinking it’s full of food, and drown.
Now that is more like killer quick sand.
"Trying to get my electronics out of my pocket" - who speaks like that?
I had a car that got trapped on the Outer Banks in North Carolina. I simply pulled off the road onto apparently solid sand to eat lunch and when I started again the drive wheels kept digging down into the sand. The sand was somewhat wet; it could support a person but not the spinning wheels of a car. Parking off the road and being immobilized by the sand was a known hazard of the area but was not mentioned in tourist brochures because, as the young man who came that Sunday and pulled me out explained (as he folded up my check for $150) it was the way young men of the Banks were financing college educations and mortgage down payments. So that was good.
That happened to me in rural Illinois. I had a front wheel drive car and pulled over on a blacktop road to make a call. The front right wheel went off the pavement and I could not get it to climb back onto the pavement spinning in the black dirt.
The problem is when the ground seems solid and then turns to liquid. I was horseback riding and went down to a reservoir and walked done to the water . Then turned and the mud liquefied and my mare sunk about two feet with her hind legs. She jumped out and I managed to stay and was very careful after that.
Wildswan--only a few generations removed from Blackbeard and his crew. You got off easy.
"As it happens, drowning in quicksand in real life is nearly impossible, scientists say. Sand is denser than the human body, so even if one’s legs sink, the air in the lungs keeps the body too buoyant to go all the way under."
So say the scientists. If quicksand were as common in real life as it was on TV, we'd have tested that out with my little brother and would be able to test that hypothesis.
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