November 29, 2024

"In 'Selected Amazon Reviews,' Killian adds yet another Kevin to the list. This Kevin spends his evenings with his wife curled up on the couch..."

"... with their two cats, Ted and Sylvia, watching Katharine Hepburn movies, or knitting, decorating cakes, and hanging pet-themed ornaments on the Christmas trees, as in his five-star 2007 review of Pet Pawprint Hanging DIY Keepsake Ornament. But Kevin Killian in the review section was not the real Kevin Killian, at least not exactly. Did Killian have children, as he claimed in several reviews? No. Did he enjoy fine foods? No. (According to friends, he lived on a diet of only microwave meals and Tab.)... Did that twelve-color set of ballpoint pens really trigger a memory of attending school as an American boy in rural France, where his classmates had 'beautiful pens that were almost family heirlooms?'..."

Writes Oscar Schwartz, in "A Portrait of the Artist as an Amazon Reviewer/Between 2003 and 2019, Kevin Killian published almost twenty-four hundred reviews on the site. Can they be considered literature?"

That's in The New Yorker, where they are not too careful about whether to put a question mark inside a quotation mark, and the answer to the question is no.

Killian was writing Amazon reviews as a sort of art project. Here's an Amazon Associates link to a book that collects his reviews — "Selected Amazon Reviews."

But back to the New Yorker article:
In the mid-two-thousands, when Killian was at his most prolific as a reviewer, it was becoming clear that Amazon was contributing to the destruction of the type of creative life that he enjoyed. Was this his way of queering e-commerce, subverting the platform from within? Wayne Koestenbaum argues, in his foreword to the collection, that Killian’s reviews “Occupy Amazon” with “a radical-faerie insouciance. . . . He enacts a cosmophagic critical practice, doing a Sontag but without the severity.”...

I bet you weren't expecting "queering e-commerce," "radical-faerie insouciance," and "cosmophagic critical practice"! I know I wasn't.

Anyway, the fun times at Amazon are gone now:

Since [the mid-two-thousands], Amazon’s review section has changed dramatically. Each product page now features an A.I.-generated summary of the existing customer reviews, smoothing out the heterogeneity of human taste into an algorithmic average....

[Killian] knew that the form he had chosen to work in was an ephemeral one, and that the company on whose Web site he had left so much of himself would not hesitate to wipe “content” that did not contribute to its bottom line. “Selected Amazon Reviews” is insurance against the erasure that Killian courted....

17 comments:

john mosby said...

What about the Three-Wolf Moon Shirt?

https://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three-Wolf-Short-Sleeve/dp/B007I4HHOI?th=1

JSM

rehajm said...

radical-faerie insouciance was on the short list if names for our high school nerd band. Went with thoroughfare of woe instead…

rehajm said...

...but his reviews aren’t so subversive, or even fully capable of plucking humor or contemplation. Prolific, yes…

…good Amazon reviews need to land like the now classic craigslist dutch grocery bike ad….

Kevin said...

I bet you weren't expecting "queering e-commerce,"

Transshipping.

Kate said...

Speaking of questionable editorial practices, I just came across this in an article about the restoration of Notre Dame: "Louise Bausiere, who spent the last two years working on the cathedral's knave told NBC News ..."

Thought Althouse would enjoy that one.

Temujin said...

Eventually, everything turns into white bread and mayonnaise. Even Amazon reviews are now meaningless, tasteless, and without substance. But some still eat it up.

Dave Begley said...

Amazon not only banned me from writing reviews, they deleted all my reviews. Erased. My sin? I wrote one clearly satiric review about the CAGW scam. Fascist Amazon.

Old and slow said...

I expected this to be the very first comment. What went wrong Dave?

Dave Begley said...

Amazon is run by Leftists and CAGW is their religion. No criticism is allowed. I wouldn’t patronize AMZN but for the Althouse portal.

Hassayamper said...

"Louise Bausiere, who spent the last two years working on the cathedral's knave"

Sounds like Monica Lewinsky’s internship at the White House…

Ann Althouse said...

"Speaking of questionable editorial practices, I just came across this in an article about the restoration of Notre Dame: "Louise Bausiere, who spent the last two years working on the cathedral's knave told NBC News ...""

LOL

Will blog

Zavier Onasses said...

Thanks for the warning Dave. Was mentally composing a five star satiric review on a print-scan-fax machine that gives me fits.

If you identify as a minority, this is the printer for you. While most printing is on letter size paper generously kept in the main drawer, the printer defaults to the fold out tray for those minority jobs like envelopes, card stock, labels. For the majority print jobs, just keep a few sheets of letter paper hanging tenuously from the fold out tray. Alternatively, walk down the hall to the printer and press a button to feed from the lower tray after sending each print job. The short walk is an opportunity for kinhin.

Like anyone sensitive about their minority status, this printer resists integration. Although the computer can ping the printer, and even access the printer web server, the install program will not recognize the connection for install of the driver.

etc.

Tina Trent said...

Does anyone else remember Ted L. Nancy, who wrote hilarious fake complaint letters to companies and published them with their responses? Or the even-older delight, “Authors I Have Not Known”? Or surreptitiously photocopying bathroom humor at work and literally leaving a stack of it in the bathroom?

I think in a somewhat-former-yet-intersecting life, I am a 75-year old tech company guy with an Esquire subscription in the Sixties.

Who knows that, before he lost his sense of humor and took himself entirely too seriously as a writer with something the say, the tedious NYT columnist Frank Bruni tried his hand at this?

Lazarus said...

Lucky Kevin. I'm still trying to get an agent for my collected tweets and blog posts.

I remember Wayne Koestenbaum and his transparent briefcase. Has anybody ever made as big a career out of being gay as he has? Oscar Wilde, maybe, but it did not work out well for old Oscar.

Tina Trent said...

You should get business cards printed, Dave: “Banned by Amazon from Reviewing Products.” Just don’t get them mixed up with your other business cards.

Vistaprint. $9.99 for 500. It’s the new subversive frontier. Radical-faerie insouciance is so Buffy/Oughts. We’re old now.

WhoKnew said...

Thanks Rehajm, I didn't know that the best of craigslist was a thing. Now it's bookmarked for compulsive scrolling. Funny stuff

Rusty said...

Scoutmaster Kevin?