November 28, 2023

The best etiquette would be to refrain from questioning the etiquette of Melania Trump's attending the funeral for Rosalynn Carter.

I'm reading "Melania Trump Adds Awkward Touch to Rosalynn Carter Funeral" in New York Magazine:
Some argued that in light of the disrespect Trump has repeatedly shown the Carters, the Trumps had no business attending Rosalynn’s funeral. Others felt Melania was gracious for showing up. And sending Melania alone may have been the least offensive option.... There’s no clear answer here; it seems we’re going to debate whether the Trumps should be included every time there’s a high-profile political event.... Unfortunately, Emily Post doesn’t cover what to do when the former president is a boorish insurrectionist.

You say "it seems we’re going to debate" as if you're some idle onlooker. You're choosing to debate. You could have skipped the debate when the "high-profile political event" is a funeral for a First Lady. 

CORRECTION: The line "Unfortunately, Emily Post doesn’t cover what to do when the former president is a boorish insurrectionist" is from the article and was supposed to appear at the end of the block quote. Unfortunately, I inserted it outside of the quote and everyone thought it was something I wrote! I couldn't understand why the comments were so hostile to me. Sorry for the confusion.

67 comments:

Sebastian said...

"in light of the disrespect Trump has repeatedly shown the Carters"

What disrespect is that?

If there was any, how does it differ from the disrespect Jimmy showed Reagan and really all his successors?

Tina Trent said...

Obama didn't go either.

Melania is a class act. Now she and Michelle can sit together.

Skeptical Voter said...

Boorish? Yes. Insurrectionist? As my late and very liberal San Francisco might say, with an eye roll, Pleezzze---. Our host's TDS slip is showing.

RideSpaceMountain said...

"Some argued that in light of the disrespect Trump has repeatedly shown the Carters"

Not necessarily Rosalyn, but is there anything Jimmy Carter did as POTUS that deserves respect? On any objective measure Jimmy was the worst President since James Buchanan, only being recently unseated by Biden.

Is that a new rule? That President's are supposed to be nice to ex-Presidents after the blatant disrespect Trump has experienced from Bush and Obama?

Sounds like a BS rule...

tcrosse said...

Was Melania's presence accepted with good grace, or was she given the cold shoulder?

n.n said...

Post misses the woman for the wife for the couple. #PridePrejudice #Judgment #TooManyLabels

... and a handmade tale to lather and repeat.

A distinct lack of etiquette.

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

Some argued that in light of the disrespect Trump has repeatedly shown the Carters, the Trumps had no business attending Rosalynn’s funeral.

I think this translates best as:

"How dare Melania Trump show up at Rosalynn Carter's funeral and rob us of perfect opportunity to bash her over not showing up!!! She's got some nerve!!!!"

Rich said...

One casualty of the Trump era was the loss of ceremony and dignity. But I’m still going to give her credit for attending. She attended, as one should do in her position, and she did so on her own. It’s a good thing. Much of America is tired of constant contention and animosity.

Kate said...

The Mean Girls are at it again.

Butkus51 said...

These same people adore George Floyd.



wendybar said...

Damned if she does, damned if she doesn't. The left are living up to their vermin name.

Kai Akker said...

---Emily Post doesn’t cover what to do when the former president is a boorish insurrectionist.

Was it necessary to say that about President Jimmah?

paminwi said...

OFFS!
Melania would have been dissed had she not shown up.
She was dissed because she did show up!
And heavens! She wore grey 8 stead of black.
I hate the media.

Breezy said...

We need people who role model an ability to take the high road and show respect for others in times like these. We should applaud her presence and the fact she was welcomed to attend. You know, like a unifying moment.

People who denigrate others for their livelihood are a sad lot.

Rusty said...

One thing has nothing to do with the other. But you can't create controversy any other way.

Mason G said...

"One casualty of the Trump era was the loss of ceremony and dignity."

January 21, 20173:37 AM
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Black-clad activists among hundreds of demonstrators protesting Donald Trump's swearing-in on Friday clashed with police a few blocks from the White House, in an outburst of violence rare for an inauguration.

Very dignified violence, I'm sure.

MountainMan said...

"Melania and I join all Americans in mourning the loss of Rosalynn Carter. She was a devoted First Lady, a great humanitarian, a champion for mental health, and a beloved wife to her husband for 77 years, President Carter.

Over a life spanning nearly a century, Rosalynn Carter earned the admiration and gratitude of our entire nation. From her days as a U.S. Navy spouse, to the Georgia Governor's Mansion, to her tenure as First Lady of the United States, and her later work at the Carter Center and volunteering with Habitat for Humanity, she leaves behind a legacy of extraordinary accomplishment and national service.
Our prayers are with the former president, the Carter family, and the entire community of Plains, Georgia, that she loved so much!'

Donald Trump post on the death of Rosalynn Carter, posted on Truth Social

n.n said...

Is Melania... Trump a she or they?

She... they should take a knee, beg, sequester herself... themself... themselves from polite liberal hubris.

n.n said...

"Melania and I join all Americans in mourning the loss of Rosalynn Carter. She was a devoted First Lady, a great humanitarian, a champion for mental health, and a beloved wife to her husband for 77 years, President Carter."
- Trump

And mother... A leading lady. RIP

West TX Intermediate Crude said...

Civility bullshit tag?

Duke Dan said...

Interesting that the progs don’t consider Melani as her own independent person so has agency to do what she feels is respectful.

Jim at said...

"One casualty of the Trump era was the loss of ceremony and dignity."

Yeah. Those Trump supporters - Linda Bloodworth-Thomason and Markie Post - jumping up and down on the bed in the Lincoln Bedroom was the very epitome of dignity.

Not to mention how many times the Obamas trashed the Whitehouse with the dregs of Hollywood and the 'music' industry. Just one, big, fucking party to those ceremonious and dignified people.

Trump at least knows how to DO ceremony with dignity by not running his mouth while 'God Save the Queen' is being played.

Narayanan said...

how come there is 'privacy' at funerals for soldiers [KilledInAction] but publicity for politicians KillersInAction

Big Mike said...

@MountainMan, do you know whether Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, or Joe Biden posted anything as gracious?

Narayanan said...

how come there is 'privacy' at funerals for soldiers [KilledInAction] but publicity for politicians KillersInAction

jim said...

.. And he is.

Kevin said...

Once again Diversity and Inclusion are nowhere to be found when they help the wrong kind of people.

Assistant Village Idiot said...

Past presidents typically try not to show disrespect for subsequent ones. Jimmy Carter absolutely did not do this. Sauce: 1. Goose 2. Gander.

Yet this is worse. Melania is trying to show respect for the former First Lady, not disrespect her. Why would that be a problem for any sane person?

Mr. Majestyk said...

Did Trump's disrespect of Jimmy Carter come before or after Carter said Trump was not legitimately elected in 2016?

boatbuilder said...

Mason G--"Very dignified violence, I'm sure."

Mostly peaceful violence.

MikeD said...

Mountain Man takes Althouse to the woodshed!

n.n said...

Melania has been branded with the scarlet R... or is it the orange M? Since she married a PoO, she is now identified as a citrus in diversity taxonomy - see corruption of blood. She probably wishes she had a V8.

iowan2 said...

Small town etiquette says you pay your respects. period. Visitation the day before, or the Funeral. Depending on Stuff, both is required. These are not like a 2cnd cousin's birthday invite, where you can use a fake excuse, and send a card.

Hatchets get buried until the deceased is buried.

OhMichael said...

Far more awkward, I think, was for the king and queen of the Looney faction in country music to sing the song Imagine, an enthusiastic peon to atheism, at the funeral of the passionately religious Mrs Carter and her equally religious Sunday school teacher husband..

Iman said...

Some of these Democrats are absolutely detestable. What shitty people they are.

Maynard said...

Melania is trying to show respect for the former First Lady, not disrespect her. Why would that be a problem for any sane person?

The rules are different with Trump, according to the lefty savants.

I wonder if he will get a state funeral after he is assassinated.

hawkeyedjb said...

"Some argued..." Who argued?
Others felt..." Who?

Oh, you meant to write "I argued" and "I felt." You didn't actually find (or need) anyone to confirm your prejudice.

Michael said...

It was inadvisable for Trump to go, not because he couldn't behave but because they couldn't.

Old and slow said...

"is there anything Jimmy Carter did as POTUS that deserves respect?"

Well yes, actually there is. He deregulated trucking, airlines, and intercity busses. He also legalized home brewing of beer and wine, which led to the now huge craft beer industry, as well as many small wineries.

For all his many faults, these are some pretty huge points in his favor.

Laurie said...

Agree with most of the comments here - My comment is slightly off-topic but why did Barack not attend?

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

NBC is 100% Russian-Democrat Party.

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

Awesome that Melania Trump went.

leftist heads exploding.

Rusty said...

Narayanan said...
"how come there is 'privacy' at funerals for soldiers [KilledInAction] but publicity for politicians KillersInAction"
Because soldiers aren't whores.

Mike (MJB Wolf) said...

Ah, the delicate pivot from “where’s Melania?” to “why is she here?” Big Media is so predictably binary.

NMObjectivist said...

“the former president is a boorish insurrectionist”

He had a pretty good presidency in terms of no new wars, low inflation and a mostly successful border policy. Who else misses 1.99 gasoline?

Patrick Henry was right! said...

Didn't Jimmy say President Trump was not legally elected in 2016? Making him an election denier. Plus, please cite examples of President Trump's alleged disrespect of Jimmy. I'll wait.

Bunkypotatohead said...

"I wonder if he will get a state funeral after he is assassinated."

They'll give him a posthumous impeachment.

CapitalistRoader said...

I remember when Bill and Hillary Clinton attended George H.W.'s funeral along with the Obamas and Jimmy Carter. When President Trump and First Lady Melanie walked over to sit with them on the pew everyone acknowledged the President and First Lady except for Hillary. She remained stony-faced, looking straight ahead. It looked like she swallowed a bug.

wendybar said...

"Not to mention how many times the Obamas trashed the Whitehouse with the dregs of Hollywood and the 'music' industry. Just one, big, fucking party to those ceremonious and dignified people."


RACIST, ANTI SEMIC, the fake Reverend Al Sharpton was practically living there, he visited so often.

wendybar said...

Anti Semitic!!

alanc709 said...

Posts like these are why I don't check Althouse often anymore. If I want inane propaganda, I can read the NYT.

tolkein said...

re Jimmy Carter

I thought he was a poor President
BUT
a decent guy, really.
deregulated airlines and other industries

Ann Althouse said...

"Mountain Man takes Althouse to the woodshed!"

"Posts like these are why I don't check Althouse often anymore. If I want inane propaganda, I can read the NYT."

I don't understand these 2 comments. What do these commenters think I said? Seems to me this is just bad reading. If I'm wrong, please explain. I often quote things I don't agree with and that I am criticizing.

Stick said...

According to Chip, her son, Rosealynn wanted ALL the first ladies invited. A sweet Southern lady full of grace, wanted it that way. WaPo & their ilk are why you haven't seen Melania much.

It's never been about Melania. Nothing is off limits in bashing Trump.

mikee said...

When you expect to be damned if you do, and also damned if you don't, do what you want without fear of the consequences, which are to be damned by those with nothing better to do, most of whom can do little else, and whose damning of you is far less important than their own self-opinions.

Quaestor said...

Althouse writes, ”Unfortunately, Emily Post doesn’t cover what to do when the former president is a boorish insurrectionist.”

I choose to read that as a bit of tongue-in-cheek sassiness of the short Quaestor indulges in habitually. Others here seem to have taken that as an insult. I don’t understand this given her longstanding skepticism of the charges heaped on the January 6th demonstrators, which has lately grown into contempt. I may be mistaken. Althouse could clarify.

Quaestor said...

As a gloss on my comment above, I point to Donald Trump as a New Yorker with a New Yorker's sense of humor. Many famous comedians have hailed from the Big Apple, but, other than Jerry Seinfeld, none I am aware of were gentle and self-deprecating. Something about that city tends to make its natives ill-mannered. A shortfall of genteel sensibilities tends to make one boorish and sarcastic, which, given the context, can be funny.

The Carters, on the other hand, were not funny. Being devout Southern Baptists, they were obliged by their faith to mortify that aspect of their respective characters. In the first six years of his national notoriety, I recall not a single joke, witticism, or bon mot issuing from that paragon of Puritan earnestness. Even his brief smiles seemed affected rather than spontaneous. (Recall Dan Aykroyd very perceptively punctuated his Carteresque clowning with that characteristic fading grin.) Besides the lack of humor, Carter also lacked respect for the office after being turned out by Reagan in an authentic landslide victory honestly conducted. Carter broke the tradition founded by the Founding Father himself -- retired Presidents keep silent on the subject of their successors. Carter pointedly broke this bond over his personal resentments and not over anything remotely connected to the immanent national interest.

Ann Althouse said...

"Althouse writes, ”Unfortunately, Emily Post doesn’t cover what to do when the former president is a boorish insurrectionist.”"

I was just about to excoriate you when I saw that I had inserted this sentence in the wrong place. Thanks for finally making it obvious that I had screwed up! See the correction now added to the post:

"CORRECTION: The line "Unfortunately, Emily Post doesn’t cover what to do when the former president is a boorish insurrectionist" is from the article and was supposed to appear at the end of the block quote. Unfortunately, I inserted it outside of the quote and everyone thought it was something I wrote! I couldn't understand why the comments were so hostile to me. Sorry for the confusion."

Ann Althouse said...

I'm especially sorry to have done that on the occasion of Mrs. Carter's funeral. My whole point was not to disrupt the solemnity of the funeral! What a screwup!

Quaestor said...

"Thanks for finally making it obvious that I had screwed up!"

My intent was to laud that bit of Quaestor-like churlishness in Althouse's character. However, beams of gratitude are always welcome.

Narr said...

I also took 'boorish insurrectionist' as a bit of dry humor from the Prof.

Now that I know the truth, I'm outraged.

Really really outraged.



Quaestor said...

Althouse writes, "My whole point was not to disrupt the solemnity of the funeral!"

What was Margaret Hartmann's point? Perhaps being a boorish (and insurrectionist, a foreseeing of January 2025) New Yorker, she couldn't resist disrupting the solemnity of the occasion.

Quaestor said...

Regarding respect for the office, the cogent point was made by Major Winters in the final chapter of Band of Brothers -- we salute the rank, not the man. Within the equality of death, we salute the man. Decent people know this instinctively, therefore I suspect something is gravely amiss at New York Magazine.

Quaestor said...

Rich writes, "One casualty of the Trump era was the loss of ceremony and dignity."

Rich's dignity, specifically. Does he recall the "pussy hat" parade that despoiled the ceremony of the 2017 Inauguration Day? Of course, he does.

Ann Althouse said...

"My intent was to laud that bit of Quaestor-like churlishness in Althouse's character."

Thanks for making that effort on my behalf. It's genuinely touching. And I believe it's based on having read a lot of this blog and therefore having the sense that it was an offbeat thing for me to say and therefore needs to be understood as some kind of a joke.

You've gone above and beyond today Quaestor, and I'm grateful. Authentically!

Quaestor said...

I, too, am touched. Authentically.

Sprezzatura said...

DJT did try to end our nation re being a representative democracy ruled by law.

But Althouse can never tell the truth in her own blog.

That's awesome.

IMHO.