August 27, 2023
"I don’t try to hide who I am or apologize for it. I am a bit of a hermit. I am sure I have hurt people’s feelings with my behavior..."
"... from time to time by ducking out of parties early or choosing not to go to Happy Hour. I have spent very little time worrying about it. I think it’s more important to find people who get me and accept me than want to change me. I have done my best to avoid people who come at me with unreasonable expectations. And because I don’t have to spend any time covering up my real self, my friendships are genuine.... I love spending time in the redwoods and by the ocean. Just a few months ago, I was walking four miles a day along the sweeping ocean coastline at West Cliff Drive where I could see surfers and otters frolicking, and humpback whales lunge-feeding just off the shoreline. This became my everyday routine. My favorite spots are within a 10-minute drive of my house, and most are still accessible even as my energy continues to drop off...."Writes Amy Ettinger, in "I am dying at age 49. Here’s why I have no regrets" (WaPo).
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
21 comments:
Regrets come later, after you don't do something, or you do something, and she has found a perfectly unbeatable way to avoid later regrets. Enjoy the day!
These tough times are opportunities to teach us things we can’t learn without them.
Paywalled. Does she perhaps explain why she’s dying before her alloyed threescore and ten?
I.E. she was selfish as can be... and has no regrets...
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
She's dying of a rare form of cancer. Cancer, however, is curable but only if there is money for research and patient trials. The FDA needs to get out of the way.
But instead of spending money on cancer research and drugs, we are wasting billions on CAGW. At least $370b via the IRA but it's way more than that. The Germans have already spent trillions and have nothing to show for it.
This poor woman won't die from global warming, but she is dying because of stupid government policies.
It is a brave face Ettinger is giving us- I am not sure I could produce one in a similar circumstance and probably wouldn't even if the Grim Reaper only comes for me at age 98 rather than 49. However, you can see the regrets are there in that essay even if unvoiced or denied.
None of are getting out of this alive.
A life well-lived. The world will miss her, but she has made it better.
Does she have a 'No Regerts' tattoo?
I think it’s more important to find people who get me and accept me than want to change me.
Just last night I heard two women discussing who was their "yes friend". After that discussion peated out, they got quiet and into their phones.
@Dave Begley (10:48), to make money from cancer research you need to be smart enough to get a doctorate — MD or PhD, and preferably both. With CAGW even people with two-digit IQs (e.g., Al Gore) can get ridiculously wealthy from the grift involved.
Here's Amy getting an article in Newsweek by discussing her husband's hospitalization for depression and her response to that and how it affected her.
She expresses a very different attitude about the value of involving others her personal life. Plus some regrets.
I hope the lady doesn't have uncurable, terminal cancer, but I'd put the odds of that at about 50/50.
You can access the article at WaPo at MSN. Just type her name into a search to find it.
You'll also find an article she wrote just a few years ago about her husband's extended illness. She must have been hit with her diagnosis just as she and he were emerging from that challenge.
All before age 50. A life well-lived, it sounds, and resilient. I detected a bit of condescension in her opting for travel over home ownership. I'd say neither is superior. My adventure is staying home and fixing houses. You do you.
But everything pales in the face of entering the world of illness and death. She sounds like someone who has measured the world wisely.
Seriously, what's the point. We're all going to die, the question is when. And does it really matter that we're "Brave" in the face of death. Its great that you're not a burden to your loved ones as you die but otherwise...
Norm MacDonald kept his terminal illness a secret. Hitchens went on a death publicity tour. "Look at me, brave little Hitch, facing death. Please give me a round of applause". I'll take Norm as my role model.
Old papa heminway was one of those "We need to bravely face death" types. that's really what most of his books are about. But in real life, Heminway didn't face death bravely. He took the cowards way out - Suicide.
So, on not big on your fake "brave in the face of death" act. Just go die quietly with your loved ones. And stop wanting appalause.
You have no obligation to oblige people with your being present. The social situations we enjoyed and appreciated are something else with terminal illness. If you don’t enjoy it do what you want.
Resources are finite. Time’s the worst…
Look at me, please.
"I lived my life as I wanted to."
Awesome. Want a congratulatory cookie?
I vant to be alone...
"I'm sure I have hurt people's feelings with from time to time by ducking out of parties early or choosing not to go to Happy Hour. I have spent very little time worrying about it."
On the one hand, I wouldn't expect a dying person to lose much sleep over such things. On the other hand, leaving a party early or skipping Happy Hour doesn't sound like things other people would lose much sleep over. Those seem like odd things to use as examples unless you were worrying about them.
A touching essay. She aims to end her days amid the beauty of nature and the love of family and friends. We should all be so fortunate.
I found her article about her husband, 1st. Then googled, like Tina advised- and read the current article.
I’m glad that she’s a strong woman- I’m thankful she’s loyal to her husband and family.
Life sure is a pain in the ass.
Except for the joy.
May we all seek joy more often!!
There is a body of literature from the Reformation period and among the Puritans instructing people how to die well. Maybe we need to resurrect that concept?
Post a Comment