June 25, 2023

"[I]t’s almost awe-inspiring how little actually happens. In the first episode, Carrie learns, via YouTube, how to poach an egg."

"In the second, Miranda loses her phone on the beach. In the third, Carrie pretends she has COVID to get out of recording her own audiobook. The stories are breathtakingly small, as though the original show has been shrunk down into a vivid maquette. A substantial portion of the fifth episode is dedicated to Charlotte and Harry dressing up as Philip and Elizabeth Jennings from The Americans for Halloween and getting frustrated that no one gets the reference...."


Ooh... just by chance, following my usual blog practice, I seem to have stumbled into a theme day. The theme is: Nothing happens. I haven't used my "blog has a theme today" tag in a long time.

This feels propitious. Things fall in place. Anything falling in place for you? Can you poach an egg? No?! Well, then, pay attention at 0:16 to 0:24 of "Levi eats Green Eggs and Ham Benedict":
@cookingforlevi Levi eats Green Eggs and Ham Benedict, with spinach hollandaise sauce and salmon roe. #greeneggsandham #whatdoyouwanttoeat #drseuss #eggsbenedict #cookingforkids ♬ Christmas In Whoville - Danny Elfman
Be awe-inspired by how much happens — and how much you can learn (and love) — in all the episodes of "Cooking for Levi." You will feel awe for the father's relationship with the child, the father's cooking and presentation skills, the 2-year-old boy's beautiful attitude and speech.

I mean... if you watch it. But maybe you don't watch TikTok. You think it's evil. 

There's always HBO. I mean: Max. Perhaps you will choose "And Just Like That"... 
As listless as the show is, as mortifying as the jokes are (“I’m not trying to have currylingus later,” Miranda’s lover says to her as she struggles with her spicy entree), I hurtled through each episode, cringing as I went.... When a handsome man approaches Nya at a bar and observes that her book seems absorbing, she replies, “Well, Skip Gates always is, but since I’m on my second glass of Malbec, I’m having a hard time concentrating.” By the second episode, when Carrie’s major storyline is her struggle to record an ad for a vaginal-wellness product—“I think my vagina has to write its own monologue,” she tells Franklyn—I felt slightly stoned, as though the show’s unsettling emptiness was my fault....

But, you know, it is your fault. 

20 comments:

Temujin said...

You managed to take my scorn for the entire 'sex and the city' tedious nothingness and erase it with a great video of a kid that you cannot help but love.
Further proof: Kids are great. Adults suck. (Levi's dad gets a pass)

Kevin said...

“I think my vagina has to write its own monologue,”

21 Forever is a lie to sell clothes.

Kevin said...

In your mid-50’s, “poaching one’s eggs” should refer to thawing and discarding the ones you stored in your 30’s.

AMDG said...

"In the second, Miranda loses her phone on the beach. In the third, Carrie pretends she has COVID to get out of recording her own audiobook. The stories are breathtakingly small, as though the original show has been shrunk down into a vivid maquette. A substantial portion of the fifth episode is dedicated to Charlotte and Harry dressing up as Philip and Elizabeth Jennings from The Americans for Halloween and getting frustrated that no one gets the reference...."

Those sound like Seinfeld plots

mezzrow said...

...as evil Dr. Xi chortles into his floppy red silk sleeve with the embroidered dragon:

"Yessss... Yessss...

Give me data with exquisite presentation and cuteness, Levi. More data!

I will control their souls to avenge my ancestors!! BWAHAHA!!!"

*translated from the original Mandarin*

Lem Vibe Bandit said...

That kid could be a Texas senator someday.

Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...

That kid has amazing table manners.

Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...

I stopped watching all Sex and the City anything long ago.
Is it still OK to say - jumped the shark?

Tom T. said...

I've always been convinced that the showrunner really doesn't like women.

Barbara said...

Levi gets caviar much more often than I do.

Jamie said...

Will this Dad adopt me?

Wince said...

I could use a bib like the one the kid is wearing.

cassandra lite said...

The TV Guide logline of every sitcom episode ever is as insipid. The reason is simple. We watch these shows not to see what happens. We watch to see what happens to these characters we've come to love.

Once upon a time, anthology shows ruled the day on TV: Kraft Theater, US Steel Hour, Playhouse 90, etc.--dozens of them. By the time Twilight Zone went on the air in 1959, almost all had disappeared in favor of sitcoms and dramas with continuing characters we invited into our living rooms like favored friends. (Variety shows had the same host.)

Imagine what the loglines were for the beloved Leave it to Beaver.

Yancey Ward said...

Did Kim Cattrall get too old for the show?

khematite said...

"Nothing happens" as a cable tv art form was inevitable once Sight & Sound published its 2022 list of the 100 Greatest Films. At the very top, as "The Greatest Film of All Time" was "Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles" (1975) and from then on, it's basically all become just potato peeling with the very slightest dab of sex and murder.

Kate said...

I don't use TikTok because I don't want to learn and interact with another social media platform. It looks kind of fun, I'm sometimes tempted, and I have no opinion that it's evil.

SATC looks rancid, is never tempting, and is utterly evil.

charis said...

That child is adorable. And the bib is impressive too. I am struck, too, with the cooking skills as well as the ability to film the cooking simultaneously, which adds an extra layer of complexity to the process.

I suppose 99 percent of our days nothing happens, which is good! Montaigne said somewhere, "If you've lived a day, you've seen everything."

Robert Cook said...

In short, they're taking a lesson from SEINFELD and are doing a show about nothing.

Or, put another way, real life.

Iman said...

They should’ve taken the earlier series - Sex in the City - in the direction MadTV did.

It involved being bent over a table.

AndrewV said...

Am I the only one to notice that the Sex in the City actress are now about the same age as the cast of The Golden Girls was when that show was on the air?