March 20, 2023

"Circular, and dark blue, with a Tupperware-style lid, it is precisely the kind of vessel you’d transport a soup or salad in."

"I’ve even sealed it inside a freezer bag, to contain any leaks. Or smells. I walk slowly and with care across Westminster Bridge, because any trip could prove disastrous. As I enter St Thomas’ Hospital and head for the infection department on the fifth floor, I realise the object I’m carrying is still warm, and, despite my preparations, I’m sure I can detect a faint whiff of something ripe, like camembert. It is, in a word, a turd. Freshly laid, and brimming with bacteria, the doctors I’m delivering it to believe such faeces could be the future of medicine. I’ve carried mine across London to be made into capsules – that someone else will ultimately eat...."
Désirée Prossomariti, a research biomedical scientist, takes my sample and opens it inside a biosafety cabinet. Watching her scoop my poop into a series of plastic containers feels uncomfortable: it’s not often we hand over something so intimate, nor so laden with cultural taboos, to a fellow human. Prossomariti reassures me that she views faeces as “just another type of specimen.” 
“A lot of people get grossed out by it, but it is not much worse than blood. Besides,” she adds, “in my personal opinion, it is not the most disgusting thing you can work with.” 
“What is?” I ask. 
“Sputum,” she says. “That’s awful.” 

30 comments:

Amadeus 48 said...

A perfect metaphor for The Guardian.

Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...

All this time - the answer was right below us. Swimming in the toilet bowl.

tim maguire said...

It makes sense that as we learn more about the benefits of a healthy microbiome, we're going to have to face the icky reality that there are no non-icky ways of getting it from one person to another. Some baby animals eat their mother's poop. We'll dress it up in spiffy capsules, but we'll be doing the same thing.

I wonder, though, how they make it safe--there's a reason we recommend washing your hands after you go to the bathroom.

Dave Begley said...

This is Ann’s response to all you shitty commenters from the other day.

Stop it.

Humperdink said...

Don't tell Burger King, they'll turn them into fecal burgers. Use their restrooms, in an hour you have a burger.

Robert Marshall said...

Too early in the morning for this!

Bob Boyd said...

I realise the object I’m carrying is still warm, and, despite my preparations, I’m sure I can detect a faint whiff of something ripe, like camembert. It is, in a word, a turd.

Could easily be a NYT or WaPo reporter coming back from meeting with a source at the FBI.

tastid212 said...

Matin Luther and James Dickey had a morbid personal fascination with human excrement. Now the story is different and more sci fi - humans as captive hosts to their gut biome.

Rocco said...

One of my sisters is involved in a fecal donation program. She says she does it because she "gives a shit" about it.

~ Gordon Pasha said...

if not you've ever had C diff, you're happy for this line of research and the therapy derived from it.

Lurker21 said...

Um ... is this really what we want to start the day and the week with?

LuAnn Zieman said...

Several years ago, my husband contracted clostridium difficile, which is a horrible disease. He spent 3 months in and out of hospitals with diarrhea. He was finally accepted for a fecal transplant in Oshkosh, WI. The doctor had successfully performed several of them. My husband's was an immediate success. Fecal material is sent from fecal banks on either the East or West coast, we were told. I learned to use disposable vinyl gloves, wet wipes, and bleach and sipe down doorknobs and surfaces long before Covid arrived! AND--unlike Covid--the wipe downs were necessary.

Dave Begley said...

And if you people want more shitty posts like this from Ann, keep personally attacking her.

BG said...

After my 40-year-old son was finished with his colon cancer treatments (he was stage 3), he had repeated C. Diff infections. After numerous antibiotics failed to cure it, my son was given the FMT option. He has the record in the least amount of time it took to swallow the 30 capsules. The treatment worked. He is currently NED. (No Evidence of Disease) Four more years until he can be declared cured. UW Carbone Cancer Center was added to my charitable contribution list.

Owen said...

Excuse me while I hurl, as discreetly as this blog allows.

Maybe fecal transplants are now or soon to be a thing, but for me their promise is obscured by the image, summoned by the ancient injunction, to “Eat s- and die.”

Old and slow said...

Apparently Hitler was ahead of his time in this regard, or maybe just a bit pervy. He did, after all, take a lot of Pervital (Nazi brand name for crystal meth).

Rusty said...

I can think of a lot of places I'd like to deliver a Tupperware container full of shit, and none of them are hospitals.
You were all thinkin' it.

typingtalker said...

Here's an idea. Let's say that you suffer from chronic constipation and that none of the usual stuff works. Might you benefit from something that sounds a bit odd - a capsule that is preactivated, swallowed, and then begins vibrating in your colon? Nope, it's not something from a Mel Brooks movie. It's real. Welcome to another unwanted chapter of the J-Man Chronicles!

The J-Man Chronicles: How The Vibrating Poop Pill Threatens Democracy

Iman said...

“Don’t give me that shit!”

Joe Smith said...

It's not even breakfast time here AA...jeez.

Michael K said...

Fecal transplants were used to fight antibiotic resistant GI tract infections, like clostridium difficile before we knew what it was. The toxic bacteria were replaced by antibiotic sensitive bacteria. It was done during my residency in the 1960s. The source was usually a "naive" patient who had not been exposed to antibiotics.

walter said...

Smells like a new Tupperware commercial.

FullMoon said...

All kidding aside, several comments above suggest this is a miracle cure for some. Amazing.

Owen said...

I had not known of this C. difficile application. It sounds worthy.

It reminds me a little of Barry Marshall’s work on stomach ulcers.

Owen said...

This is what I was thinking of. Nobody thought bugs could cause stomach ulcers but he persisted and experimented on himself with H. pylori. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barry_Marshall

Owen said...

This is what I was thinking of. Nobody thought bugs could cause stomach ulcers but he persisted and experimented on himself with H. pylori. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barry_Marshall

CStanley said...

I’ve had C. Diff and agree that this is a welcome therapy even if gross.

HOWEVER…. When multiple rounds of antibiotics didn’t eliminate my symptoms, I researched and learned that a specific probiotic called Saccharomyces Boulardii (a yeast) is sometimes effective in reestablishing a healthy gut biome. I began taking it and thankfully it worked. I still get flare ups if I go off of it for a while though.

Recommend that anyone dealing with this should try it- most common brand name is Florastor but there are other brands out there too (currently I take Thorne brand Sacro B.)

David O said...

Thank you so much for this news item. I'm going to go throw up now.

Bunkypotatohead said...

Eric Cartman made some money selling assburgers, but even he didn't think his shit smelled like camembert.

Bob said...

*runs off to register Sputum That's Awful as a rock band name*