"There has even been a rise in millennial nuns. These women are fighting back against an ideology that has always best served the likes of Hugh Hefner. In doing so, they are trying to rediscover their sense of self-worth. In 2021, a TikTok video by a young American woman called Abby went viral. In the video, Abby tells the camera: 'I, like many other college students, am someone who is entangled in hook-up culture, and often hook-up culture makes it difficult for me to determine whether or not what I’m doing is good for me and kind to myself. Very often as women we are led astray from what we actually deserve. So here’s what I’ve been doing lately . . .' She pulls up onscreen a series of childhood photos of herself, and explains that the men she’s hooked up with have often made her feel undeserving, not only of love but also basic respect. So she’s trying to remind herself of her worth as a person by playing the role of mother to her inner child. 'Am I OK with that for her?' she asks tearfully, gesturing at her younger self in the photo. 'Would I let her be a late-night, drunk second option? Would I let this happen to her?' She shakes her head, weeping: 'From a third person, caretaker point of view, I would never let any of this stuff happen to her.' Abby is trying to mother herself, though she isn’t quite sure how to do it."
From "Women have been betrayed by a culture of porn gone wild/The sexual revolution was supposed to liberate women. Yet the tragic life of Marilyn Monroe and the nightmarish world of violent pornography which today’s young women must navigate suggest otherwise" by Louise Perry (London Times).
Here's the author's forthcoming book: "The Case Against the Sexual Revolution."
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52 comments:
When was the sexual revolution ever about liberating women?
It's not the violent pornography that is the problem. It's the lack of self respect, the removal of boundaries, the lie that casual sex is an improvement over the wait until marriage model. Guys treat you like crap because you let them do it. Don't spread your legs to just any sweet talking "bad" boy. Look for the guy who treats you right and then make him buy the cow.
Do Autosexuals do it with cars, or just in cars?
Like Cuomo's daughter who thinks she is another gender because she wants love and romance instead of just sex all the time.
Admittedly, in the Kennedy-Cuomo-Schwartzenegger family this does make her a very odd duckling.
When women outnumber men at a college by a significant percentage, this is the result. When men outnumber women, there is a sense that you have to earn your girlfriend.
I recall boomer women making the same discovery. As the Bard advises:
As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;
"Would I let her be a late-night, drunk second option? Would I let this happen to her?"
Well, let's unpack this. Is there something wrong with being a late-night, drunk second option? Isn't the point of the exercise what Tom Wolfe called "groin spasms"? Can we at least agree that the only reason males and females have any contact at all is groin spasms? So, what's she concerned about? Having to wait a few minutes 'til her fellow spasmant gets his spasmatic arrangements sorted out? I understand there is also an all-female option, and a particularly inclusive version called a "clusterfuck". So, what's bothering this chick? Is she trying to make this into something it isn't?
Free will is harrrd.
This woman picked every single man she slept with.
Young women need to take responsibility for their choices an actions and stop blaming other things.
"Abby is trying to mother herself, though she isn’t quite sure how to do it."
I guess. As a father, I would say she is trying to father herself. She is trying to explain to herself that she can have value, from a male perspective, without being a slut. I'm not sure women are very good at convincing each other of that.
Well with MonkeyPox.. I don't blame them.
Maybe that will stop some abortions.. no fuckie.. no baby...
This is long overdue, and way too late for me.
“It's not the violent pornography that is the problem. It's the lack of self respect, the removal of boundaries, the lie that casual sex is an improvement over the wait until marriage model. Guys treat you like crap because you let them do it. Don't spread your legs to just any sweet talking "bad" boy. Look for the guy who treats you right and then make him buy the cow.”
A bunch of weddings the last year or two. The girls, in their late 20s to early thirties at the time, all have doctorate degrees of some sort, were virgins entering college, didn’t screw around very much in college, or after, and ended up marrying quality guys. One of the things that they all had in common was the unconditional love of their father, so that they didn’t have to get it, through sex, from guys who were fixated on just that, and not the women themselves.
“When women outnumber men at a college by a significant percentage, this is the result. When men outnumber women, there is a sense that you have to earn your girlfriend.”
The race to the bottom. It’s much harder to be selective, when the guys you want can easily get laid by other desperate young women. But still possible - just focus on grad school, and not an Mrs degree.
The Sexual Revolution was never about helping women out. That it has taken 60 years for a some of them to realize this doesn't say much for that gender, and it reflects extremely badly on mine that we men take full advantage of this sex without responsibility. A pox on all of us- maybe sexually virulent Monkey Pox.
Nothing new. We used to call them "old maids."
She's attracted to the job of mother but is unclear on the details.
"the men she’s hooked up with have often made her feel undeserving, not only of love but also basic respect."
So, lady, why did you hook up with them?
"The sexual revolution was supposed to liberate women."
Wait, what? Didn't everybody realize it was a trick of the patriarchy for men to get laid more easily?
"Here's the author's forthcoming book: "The Case Against the Sexual Revolution.""
About 50 years late. So progs are now saying women can't handle liberation after all?
Cheap and easy is not the same as valued and respected.
Who would have guessed?
It's a free country. Why does everyone have to make the same choices?
Sex is frightening and risky. They call the other sex "opposite" for many good reasons.
We only pursue sex because we urgently feel that there is a payoff, but it is one that we can only imperfectly apprehend.
Me too, Carol.
I hope it really works for her.
For every one woman that is stepping away from relationships with men, there are two men stepping away from women.
Let's see which group ends up happier. I'm betting it's the guys.
This is what third wave feminism did to young women. MOST women don’t want casual sex even though they have been brainwashed into thinking they do. Women are hardwired to want a man who wants her enough to take care of her. So if she hooks up with a guy who is her status, or worse lower because she is lonely, and he doesn’t act like he would be willing to have a relationship with her the monkey brain which has enough sense to know you need a father to help raise a child gets upset.
This is where some of those “ well after consideration I think he raped me” stories come from. He wasn’t worthy of her giving in to his demands like her monkey brain would tell her to do for a high status male (to get good genetics for her offspring) so that she let him use her can not be abided. He must have raped her. Her friends said so when she sheepishly admitted to sleeping with him.
These completely failed feminazi ideas (that were spearheaded by men like Hefner) has spread through wider with each generation of girls progressively since the 70s when they first started believing the feminazi crap sold to them in women’s magazines. It’s sad the men rudely commenting on here can’t have any sympathy for these girls.
"...were virgins entering college..."
How do you happen to know this?
I see a lot of Hefner in the men's point of view here. Women were there to pleasure him. "Freedoms just another word for nothing else to lose" is what the sexual revolution brought to many women. Granted, I am an old conservative woman, but I sure see a lot of angst in the young women I mentor. And young to me can be up to 60.
When I was young we were told "these boys only want one thing." I think it was true, the male sexual drive is much stronger than the females. Have birth control hormones caused an upswing in the old natural way of women? It makes me wonder. But from what I see women are more emotionally driven in mating than men seem to be.
Don't get me wrong, I see many young men who are gentlemen, who have feelings for other as well as themselves, but I see too many who take advantage of what the women have been hoodwinked into believing.
Jupiter needs to put his Playboy down and enter the real world. Some young women seem to be finding it.
Was the sexual revolution just grooming all along?
A girl from a comfortable background needs to be a lesbian in college while having deep friendships with several quality boys. This allows sex with the tattooed bads, and a course correction in the junior year to an appropriate man.
Ignorance and repression don't make for a fulfilling sex life either. The human race will just have to keep working at it. I'm sure that there's a proper balance between libido and morality, turn and counter turn, that will make everyone happy. I myself have had several sexual experiences that weren't immoral or unpleasant. It can be done.
What's a girl gonna do with the dearth of tall fit men.
MOST women don’t want casual sex even though they have been brainwashed into thinking they do.
While I can really only speak for myself, I believe my experience and my feelings about casual sex are probably pretty typical of modern American womankind, based on what my women friends and acquaintances have actually done. So I'd reword this statement:
MOST women don’t want casual sex even though they have been brainwashed into ACTING AS IF THEY THINK THEY DO.
Per the girl. If you don't find a smart man you will still be taken care of, but you won't have a leadership role in the dynasty. The future belongs to those who show up.
I have noted for years how TV shows depict relationships. This helps set the expectation about what is normal. I have had many a conversation with my kids about how backwards it is. In TV land, two people meet and have sex. They then anguish over whether they want to have sex again. Over time they discuss the commitment of allowing the other to have a drawer at one’s place. Next comes the moving in phase. Eventually the conversation turns towards marriage (for those that go that far.) In many cases relationships end long before marriage happens. It is all backwards. Sex comes first and then they decide if they want a relationship. This is almost universally scripted in prime time tv. Don’t tell me this does not play a part in how our young people approach things.
"It’s sad the men rudely commenting on here can’t have any sympathy for these girls."
These girls?
"He wasn’t worthy of her giving in to his demands like her monkey brain would tell her to do for a high status male (to get good genetics for her offspring) so that she let him use her can not be abided. He must have raped her. Her friends said so when she sheepishly admitted to sleeping with him."
Bruce Hayden is on to something when he mentions girls who had the unconditional love of their father. My first real high school girlfriend was aggressive sexually--at least by the standards of the late 1950s. Her parents had divorced, and she was living with her mother and the new husband.
I looked at my girlfriend's desperate need for physical affection (and being a 16 year old horndog didn't really mind it). But I thought that her neediness stemmed from the fact that her real father was not around. And I made a pledge to myself then and there that if I ever had a daughter (and my wife and I eventually had two daughters) she would know that her father loved her unconditionally. There would be no need for them to go around desperately seeking affection and affirmation from young punks like me! Of course inspiring a little terror in those young boys and men when they did start to come around to see either one of my daughters was an undoubted good thing.
Call me old school; I was two or three years too early to catch the college sexual revolution in the mid 1960s and was probably the better for it.
How tedious it is to be a young person in the current culture. Young women adopt labels like "asexual" or "femcel". Do those labels go on job applications or in email signature files? Why does one need a label?
Abby's TikTok statement is passive, as if she has no agency. Somehow, the system or patriarchy established her as a woman of easy virtue and she is getting a sense that it may not be good for her. Rather than accept her grandmother's sense of propriety, she has to twist herself into being her own mother.
The whole thing is a convoluted way of saying that the 'War of the Sexes" is over, and women lost.
So femcels are empowered, but incels are losers.
Got it.
From time to time, though not often enough, there are signs that sanity may prevail in the end; this article is one such sign. Turns out there really are biological men and women, fundamentally different, and hard-wired from birth in ways that can't be completely overcome by propaganda. Easy to snark in reaction to this article, on any number of fronts, but it took some real courage for the author to write this, and for the London Times to publish it, as it goes against the current zeitgeist in many ways, almost all of which involve unpardonable sins. If feminism were to be interested in what's really good for women, then this article would be a good starting place to dismantle much of what has gone on under the banner of feminism without actually making women happy or fulfilled. Kudos to Ann for highlighting this article.
Metaphor alert
My father's division, (104th ID Timberwolves) trained hard under BG Terry Allen for night operations before going into combat. In six and a half months of combat in the ETO, they accomplished d good deal with only about 1400 KIA. The soldiers knew this, compared to other divisions. I know of three guys named Terry Allen [last name] and would have been a fourth if my Dad had been home when I was born.
So, when I got to Benning several wars later, our intro to night ops was a long after action report from the 104th ID.
Is there any attention paid to the casualty rate from the sexual revolution? Should there be any lessons taken? Taught? Or would any such attempt reap scorn as some kind of repressed funds? Or worse?
Sure, young guys liked it, loved to take advantage of it. Emphasis on "take advantage".
Do young women like "Abby" count as casualties?
Anybody find the viral tick-tock?
Jacob: The war between the sexes is over. We won the second women started doing pole dancing for exercise.
She’s learning. That’s good and reasonable. If she doesn’t go into despair psych analyzing herself nor fall for the trap of blaming society for her decisions, then she’ll turn out ok. She’ll be a normie.
What is it about college that makes women so stupid?
"How tedious it is to be a young person in the current culture. Young women adopt labels like "asexual" or "femcel". Do those labels go on job applications or in email signature files? Why does one need a label?"
I would guess that one is trying to process one's disappointment and loneliness, to elevate it into something more meaningful and satisfying. It this a predicament — a problem to be solved — or is this a valid, worthy, admirable way of life? Yes, you could just think this is me, being what I am in the life that I have and it's not part of anything bigger, but that might be harder than conceptualizing the whole culture and seeing yourself as occupying a role that's important and shared.
Alan Weisman's some times great, some times awful 2013 Countdown has a section on Japan, where he quotes a young woman as saying something to the effect of, "We have sex before marriage to show that we're serious but stop after marriage because we're just not interested." Since the book is about how population is way too high, but Japan's birth rate is well below replacement, it comes off as positive.
"She ... explains that the men she’s hooked up with have often made her feel undeserving, not only of love but also basic respect."
To be economist crude: women now substantially outnumber men in college. Since the supply of eligible men is so much smaller than the demand, their price can be ridiculously high. "You must "hook up" with me, and maybe I'll be interested and maybe I won't. There are plenty of other women who are interested in me if you don't."
There were a few books about this that came out around 2005. Female Chauvinist Pigs was one. Pornified, I think, the other. The descriptions of how females in sororities egged each other on to be promiscuous were practically unbelievable. It's been a long time since I read them. I don't know how I would react to the authors' conclusions now.
Women still love the bad boy then whine about the consequences.
To be frank, men deserve something better than hookup culture. Even those who are 'successful' in it are missing out on something better. Real Intimacy, Responsibility, Growth.
You can't grow if you wallow in your appetites and urges.
I keep reading about "violent" pornography. Maybe I'm lucky, but I've never seen it. All the porn I've encountered shows enthusiastic consenting adults. If it's something the viewer as to seek out in the obscure recesses of the Dark Web, how much of a threat is it?
This is not the first backlash to the sexual revolution, or even the second. Casual sex is unsatisfying for most women.
A majority of the surge in young people calling themselves LGBT comes from 20something women identifying as bisexual. But most (of those who are sexually active) only have sex with men. Apparently, "bisexual" is now a political and social label, not an indication of sexual behavior. It's a weird world. https://bit.ly/3tjfrrI
In other news, the trans and non-binary surge has peaked: Teens are moving on (but not sure to what). I think a lot of "non-binary" means "not ready for sex."
College will always be home to stupid meaningless sex.
The kind of sex that matters starts in the office. Go back to one.
So a young woman provides groin spasms for a guy. Doesn't have any herself Next time she sees the guy, he's looking a her, with a friend, and they're laughing.
Does she wonder, "What was the point of this again?"
College allows for, provides various opportunities through clubs, projects, employment, for relationships which could be described as "congenial colleagues". There's some learning opportunity there.
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