"'Metamates' will replace 'Facebookers'.... 'Now is the right time to update our values and our cultural operating system,' Zuckerberg wrote on his Facebook page after announcing the change during a company-wide staff meeting Tuesday...."
From "Zuckerberg’s new ‘Metamates’ nickname mocked by Facebook employees" (NY Post).
That Post article quotes "quips" at Twitter, but nothing is actually funny. What the hell is the difference — Facebookers or Metamates? Is one stupider than the other? To my ear Facebookers is worse because it sounds like "face boogers," but Metamates is bad because it seems like you're in a marital relationship (unless you keep thinking that the company is a ship upon the ocean and it's more of an "ahoy, mates" kind of thing).
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73 comments:
Metanes
Catamites is what he really means.
kinda rolls off the tongue
What the hell is the difference — Facebookers or Metamates?
FaceWookies would have been a better choice.
From "Zuckerberg’s new ‘Metamates’ nickname mocked by Facebook employees" (NY Post).
They should merge this with the pronoun policy to insulate it from mockability. Henceforth, your pronouns would be expressed as:
MetaHe
MetaShe
MetaHim
MetaHer
MetaXe
MetaXer
MetaThey
MetaThem
A comment I've read on twitter that I like is that many of these tech folks, in previous generations, would have been cult leaders.
What's wrong with Comrade?
Makes sense that they'd want to phase out Facebook-related signifiers, but... "metamates"? That just sounds like the next level of Playboy Playmates. Should have at least tried "metatrons". The "tron" evokes electronics, technical stuff, the future. Plus also the employees are in a sense mouthpieces of a godlike persona.
Or "G'Day,metamate!"
"Comrade" would be more on point.
How about "Zuckerborgs?"
Break out the Metamucil.
.
Zuckersuckers
The Metamob ought to be known as Metamakers.
What a soul-crushing place to have to work.
Bleh. They tell you what to call each other? Easy to come up with a few names for anyone who would try to do that.
His mom must have been watching The Love Boat while she was carrying him. He does not know it but this is just a cry for help. His subconscious wants to go back to the womb.
Meat-mates: most meet that they met at Meta
Or maybe mom watching "Gilligan's Island" and zuk (he/him/her/maybe) beleives his true self is Ginger, while in reality he looks like an offspring of Gilligan.
What a dork.
What happens when 15 year old mentalities inside of 30 and 40 year old bodies run large companies.
Ugh. How could any thinking adult with any self-regard want to be anywhere near that brand?
Should be meta-bros and meta-babes, and each person can pick the one that suits them best.
unless you keep thinking that the company is a ship upon the ocean and it's more of an "ahoy, mates" kind of thing
I suspect it is more like the company is a prison and the people you work with are like cell-mates
Drop box mule-mates.
Metamies.
Sounds like the kind of vapid stupidity corporations would normally pay a focus group 7 figures to come up with.
Number One item on the company cafeteria menu: Metamucil.
I think you could plot a good syfy novel around metamate. Some gratuitous mental hands off sex. Partition the cloud into heavens 1 thru 7 for mass "joinings."
Not a cult leader.
Vitametavegamins
Metamucil.
At first glance, I saw 'meatheads.'
Probably closer to the mark.
Rousseau discovered virtual sex first.
I agree with some others on this thread... in the interest of time, just skip ahead to "comrades" and be done with it.
Z can then call himself "Fearless Leader"...
Can you imagine what it must be like to be a normal person working at Meta?
Sheesh! Who wants to be called a Metamate? Even my spell checker doesn't like it.
I prefer Metapals. The darkside of Metapals will refer to themselves as Metabros.
Zuckerbotters.
Is a "metamate" something you put in your coffee?
Betamates
i think *marmites* is more apt given their $200 billion loss.
are we talking about bread or beds?? metamates is not everyone's game changer.
https://fortune.com/2022/02/02/facebook-lost-200-billion-in-market-value-earnings/
This is the kind of things staffers comply with outwardly and roll their eyes inwardly.
Metamates is just “teammates” with the letters shuffled around
Pronounce it in Spanish: Me-tah'-ma-tays.
I am just going to continue to call them turds.
Leland, at 11:47 wins the thread.
Meta is just the "Titanic" with the deck chairs shuffled around
Zucktards is pretty good, too.
I work with some contemporaries of Zuck and lot of them have spent staggering percentages of their lives playing video games. Game boys. Their ignorance of history, politics, any knowledge present only in books, etc. is equally staggering. My guess is that our tech oligarchs are a similar ilk.
Since they are the primary company in the Metasphere, why not Primates?
but Metamates is bad because it seems like you're in a marital relationship
at least, he's not (yet) demanding that they call each other "zucker f*ckers"
Mr Wibble said...
A comment I've read on twitter that I like is that many of these tech folks, are cult leaders
fify!
retail lawyer said...
Can you imagine what it must be like to be a normal person working at Meta?
**************
I can't imagine any normal person working at Meta in the first place.
They've lost sight of their product.
This is the petty little heads in HR trying to build Team Spirit.....because they've lost sight of their product, and they have too many employees.
Lay-offs are soon to follow.
Lay-offs......that won't happen!!!
It's just that your paycheck..........will become very Meta!!
I wonder how many of us instinctively feel that we want to see Facebook/Meta fail. I mean, I don't really care. Why should I? And yet I feel myself rooting against them. Why am I expending any mental energy being against them? And yet I do.
Mandatory whimsy.
Anyone who goes around calling people their Metamates has a very high likelihood of being pantsed.
I wonder how many of us instinctively feel that we want to see Facebook/Meta fail. I mean, I don't really care. Why should I? And yet I feel myself rooting against them. Why am I expending any mental energy being against them? And yet I do.
Because of FB's hubris, especially Zuckerbot's hubris.
This will prop up the stock price
So if you work there, can you mate in the office?
It's kind of in the name...
What's wrong with just plain old "comrade"? It would kind of get these folks in tune with the Big Tech spirit.
Metastasizers
Instinctively? Probably so. I use FB, and I've been using Oculus long before it was acquired by FB. I don't necessarily want those things to fail. But there is something about watching a company that so righteously believe in whatever it is doing, and that thing their doing does nothing for you, stumble and fail. It sort of validates your original sense of not being attracted by whatever they thought so righteous. I feel the same about Disney acquiring brands I used to love and then destroying them. Except I'm even more fascinated by Disney's ability to destroy loved brands (including its own original) so thoroughly.
Ann, you sort of want to see Meta fail because you like your world and have enjoyed your life. Yesterday's WSJ had a story about the return of students to San Jose State, and about how they are afraid to talk to each other now. They eat alone, walk alone, live alone, but stare at the phone. One student said he was too inhibited to speak to anyone without having met them through social media first.
Then there is the problem of girls being mean to other girls and their rapidly declining mental health. A professor said the effects of all this will be pronounced in 30 years. Facebook is evil and creepy, thats why right minded people want it to fail.
Not bad, JoAnne!
Mark Zuckerberg is a real pain in the ass.
David Brent suggested the term.
Ralfy, the whisky reviewer, opens each session by greeting his audience with a string of rhymed, alliterating, or otherwise cute expressions for whisky lovers. Maltmates is a staple item.
Some people like to believe that they're clever at coining phrases. The temptation for someone like that, given the power to force employees to use their inventions, could be hard to resist.
Metamooks
Did the employees actually refer to themselves as Facebookers previously? That's pretty cringe inducing right there.
michael K for the win:
"Zuckerborgs"
Althouse @5:03pm:
You want "Meta" to fail because, ultimately, it is profoundly anti-human. You may have trouble coming up with clear explanations of why it is, and might even have trouble convincing yourself that it is so... But sometimes one's innate / instinctive reactions really are correct.
I mean, consider the difference between:
"We provide a no-cost way for people to share text, photos, and videos with others", which is an accurate-enough rendition of what a lot of people use FB for -- or think they do, at any rate --
with whatever grandiose bullshit is being spouted about the MetaVerse.
First thought at the term:
I metamate at a bar outside Oakland in 2014. Can't recall her name, or much about her appearance. Left town the next morning. It was unreal.
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