On Tuesday afternoon, Meta, the company formerly known as Facebook, made a supposedly exciting announcement: a glove... the prototype haptic glove uses principles from soft robotics and employs pneumatic and electroactive actuators to quickly inflate tiny air pockets on the fingers and palm of the glove. These actuators are essentially tiny motors that can create the sensation of pressure and, hence, touch. The idea here is that if Meta could fit thousands of these actuators onto a haptic glove and combine those sensations with the visual input of a VR headset or augmented reality glasses, which project digital images onto the real world, the wearer could reach out and feel virtual objects. With gloves like these, you might one day shake the hand of someone else’s avatar in the metaverse and feel the squeeze.
Okay, everyone just thought about sex. We're not going to all this trouble to shake hands (or are you one of those sick freaks who get pleasure from crushing a hand offered to you for an innocent shake?).
Here's a vision of Metaverse, felt with a glove:
My go-to rock music reference was The Who, but I must acknowledge the obvious 2 runners-up:
1. The Beatles — Glove!
2. Spinal Tap — "Smell the Glove":
It's such a fine line between stupid and clever.
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41 comments:
Ewwww- as a dairy farmer, gloves mean protection from literal shit…
So, ewww.
I bailed on Facebook when it started feeling more like "Jazz Odyssey."
i know you don't like the Babylon Bee... But We do
God Develops Ultra-Realistic Metaverse Where People Can Talk, Learn, And Work With Other People, Calling It 'Universe'
i mean, just think! with years more work; and Trillions more dollars;
They'll be able to make a metaverse that is a sad imitation of reality!
As I posted before, Bruce Willis' Surrogates (2009) is a long form film presentation of this vision.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0986263/
Sex and improved lifestyles for people with disabilities are the most immediate use cases. All of this stuff risks falling into the Uncanny Valley and rejection by many or most people.
https://spectrum.ieee.org/what-is-the-uncanny-valley
"Can you feel the glove tonight..."
Yes, and if it weren't for the damned women, both bands might still be together.
re: Spinal Tap
Harry Shearer's famed prop vegetable wasn't a cucumber - it was a zucchini. From an etymological standpoint, a much better vegetable for the purpose.
The creation of increasingly complicated technology designed to simulate being, as experienced in the actual physical world, requires enormous amounts of computing power, and therefore energy in the form of electricity, to make the faux experience immersive. It strikes me as indulgent and impractical. It literally further insulates the user from the real world, removing touch and vision and hearing IRL in order to crudely simulate the signals the user’s actual senses rely on. Movies have dabbled in smell-o-vision already. Once Metaface perfects a bridle (note to self: cutesy name needed for this new device) that can simulate taste and texture then we can all be hooked up to IV drips and just live virtually! Yippee!
Or we can ignore the push to encase humanity in technology that will inevitably be used to control us. I literally cannot imagine what about the metaverse could be practical or necessary. It seems like a big departure from “making information easily available” to whatever the purpose of this “advance” is. Gut and instinct repel from this shit.
I must be doing it wrong because I'm gonna need an explanation of how a haptic glove relates to sex.
Okay, everyone just thought about sex.
Not me. I was wondering if I might one day be able to run over a cow with a milk truck and feel it...but sex, yeah, that'd be awesome too.
Of course it’s going to be used for sex. Online porn is big business. However, it’s much easier to create a penis glove than a vaginal glove, so it will be one more way to eliminate real women from the lives of men.
Zuckerberg is a socially aberrant human being. Brilliant, but socially crippled. His goal is to even out the world so that all are like him. And not interacting with other actual humans on a human level is the key. Put everyone in a fantasy world and you remove any actual humanity. Sure- your personality will come out in the Metaverse, but it's not you. It's a play-you. A make-believe you in a make-believe world where the Zuckerbergs of the world are not only safe, but can make the rules and control the outcomes.
Not sure who would want to follow a personality like Zuckerberg, but there are obviously many. Personally I think the world would be much saner and would move back to a bit of reality of everyone just deleted their Facebook accounts at once. Let's say on Friday Nov. 19. Everyone just leave.
Wouldn't it be fun to watch the ZuckerWorld when that happened?
I've been trying to ignore this Metaverse thing, as I stopped checking Facebook years ago. But (brrrr) this is getting creepier and creepier.
OTOH,. I did recently rewatch the episode of Big Bang Theory in which Howard makes a device for remote kissing, which he and Raj try out, and it made me Literally LOL, so maybe there is some entertainment value here.
Today, a glove. Tomorrow, a condom. The 21st Century is turning out a bit weird, no?
New theory: the Beatles did the Monty Python animations.
I have a physical this morning, so it's likely I'll be violated by my doctor wearing a glove.
I can touch my own glory anytime I want. I don’t want to be wearing Zuckerberg’s glove when I do, especially if it touched his glory.
The only one that has aged well is the Spinal Tap scene. It truly has a timeless quality that no one could foresee almost 40 years ago! So much wisdom :-)
Tommy and Yellow Submarine have only gotten more ridiculous with age!
Zuck had a wet dream.
Metaverse: the new Pornhub?
Glove is all you need.
I won't be convinced until I can taste Facebook.
Lord knows, I can already smell it.
Honka Honka
Very good post . I always read your post regularly.
Like showering in a raincoat…
These folks are so busy synthesizing “real life”…
Some people are such nerdy losers that they're not satisfied with jerking off in their mom's basement in the real world.
They have to take their nerdy loserness up a notch and do it in the Metaverse too.
Just wait until they figure out Meta-smell and Meta-taste : )
'Ewwww- as a dairy farmer...'
Dairy-farming cowgirls. Handjobs.
You do the math : )
Is Zuckerberg more like Uncle Ernie or Cousin Kevin?
First out of the gate is a glove so you can shake hands? After year, where we learned not to shake hands due to The Virus. Way to keep up there, Meta. BTW, not shaking hands is even more effective at preventing cold and influenza spread.
I'll shake hands again, once no child in America is forced to wear a mask for 60 consecutive months.
Used for sex??!!
I never thought that, wow.
'I must be doing it wrong because I'm gonna need an explanation of how a haptic glove relates to sex.'
Wait until they invent the haptic condom : )
'Tommy.' The '70s in 8 minutes and 24 seconds.
I think we're turning Japanese, I really think so.
Sounds like it’s going to be a cold desolate place; if you need a glove.
The difference is stupid gets you killed, clever gets you just (or garners - one word instead of three) an ass kicking.
That was clever and stupid!
Shaking hands is now an act of resistance.
At an international trade shoe in September it was like playing "rock, scissors paper"
I'd stick out my hand, theyd stick out a fist. I'd see the fist and close my hand to bump.
In the mean time they'd see my hand and open their fist.
Sometimes the would iterate a couple times.
I understand the general health benefits of not shaking. In at least 1 pharma plant I know fist bumping has been the norm for a dozen years and I'm fine with it.
But fuck Kung Flu. I'm shaking with anyone willing. Bumping with anyone who wants.
I identify as young and thin thus at pretty much zero risk.
John Henry
Wait until they invent the haptic condom : )
Thank you for that...
The Oculus VR system is owned by Facebook. "What good is the glove?"
Well, if the glove is thin enough, and unrestrictive enough, then you'll be able to have your VR system project a keyboard that you can type at.
So, you have a laptop, you plug your VR system into it. Your monitors are in the VR "space", so you can have as many of them as the computer can support, rather than what you have physical space for. The UI gives you the ability to "pull a monitor closer" if you need to give it more pixels so you can see it.
Basically, everything's now available except for the way to type into the computer without a physical keyboard. Get that and people will have a way to take their full computing environment with them wherever they go.
I'll leave it up to you as to whether that's a bug or a feature :-)
Sydney said...
Of course it’s going to be used for sex. Online porn is big business. However, it’s much easier to create a penis glove than a vaginal glove
I've never purchased either, but from what I can tell a female sex doll that's any good costs a heck of a lot more than a vibrator.
So, assuming I understand what you're saying, I'm pretty sure you have the entirely opposite reality
Ultimately, it'll be used for travel.
But first, games and porn.
Glove? With no mention of the Avenger's movies or the mass-murderer Thanos?
@R. C. Belaire
"Today, a glove. Tomorrow, a condom."
Networked sex is already here.
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a32475604/long-distance-sex-toys/
John Henry: sewage plant workers have been doing the fist bump since forever.
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