December 22, 2020

"I wish I could make it so that people were more thoughtful and kind toward each other. It’s something that I think about a lot as I move through life."

"In Japan, for example, we have priority seating on train carriages, for people who are elderly or people with a disability. If the train is relatively empty, sometimes you’ll see young people sit in these seats. If I were to say something, they’d probably tell me: 'But the train is empty, what’s the issue?' But if I were a person with a disability and I saw people sitting there, I might not want to ask them to move. I wouldn’t want to be annoying. I wish we were all a little more compassionate in these small ways. If there was a way to design the world that discouraged selfishness, that would be a change I would make." 

 From "Shigeru Miyamoto Wants to Create a Kinder World/The legendary designer on rejecting violence in games, trying to be a good boss, and building Nintendo’s Disneyland" (The New Yorker)("In 1977, Shigeru Miyamoto joined Nintendo, a company then known for selling toys, playing cards, and trivial novelties. Miyamoto was twenty-four, fresh out of art school. His employer, inspired by the success of a California company named Atari, was hoping to expand into video games. Miyamoto began tinkering with a story about a carpenter, a damsel in distress, and a giant ape...").

90 comments:

Ignorance is Bliss said...

If the train is mostly empty, why would the person with the disability need to ask them to move?
And even if the train is full, priority seating for the disabled only works if people know you are disabled. If it is not obvious, then speak up!

Ann Althouse said...

How does Miyamoto know that a young person is not disabled?

stlcdr said...

Isn’t what he stated the definition of straw man? He created a story so that he could discredit it? Could he not provide a real example of that happening?

(Words and meaning seem to change on a daily basis, so forgive me if ‘straw man’ is somehow derogatory).

iowan2 said...

Sounds like 1950's Iowa.

We called it respect. My parents were unequivocal about respect for elders and persons in a position of respect. Teacher, shop owner, police, elder. Our "what about" hypotheticals were shot down without debate. Follow direction so long as it physically harms no one else, or yourself. If you have issues take it up with the parents later, they would handle "it".
We had family Christmas at the kids, last weekend. Still today if Grandpa or Grandma walk into the room, our 30 something children get up and offer us their chair. (not so much the grandkids...yet)
Not standing and showing respect for the national anthem would earn us a dope slap, if we were within reach.
Has nothing to do with kindness. Respect.

Fernandinande said...

Deformity toilet

tim maguire said...

If the train is relatively empty, sometimes you’ll see young people sit in these seats.

Did he mean to suggest that priority seating is special to Japan, or is he just setting the scene? I can’t remember the last time I was on a train or bus in any country that didn’t have priority seating. But if the train is relatively empty, then he’s the one being a jerk about the priority seats.

cacimbo said...

Years ago at a crowded restaurant/club I entered the three stall ladies restroom to find two very senior ladies waiting on line.When I pointed out the handicapped stall was open they were adamant that was only for the disabled. The line grew as 1/3 of the available stalls were not being utilized.As soon as the women left we all went back to using the handicapped stall.The idea that a toilet should not be used except for the rare occasion when a female with a wheelchair or walker should frequent the restaurant is very odd.I wondered if one of them had a disabled child or if because they were so senior pride made them not want to be seen using the "disabled" toilet.

tim maguire said...

iowan2 said...
Sounds like 1950's Iowa...My parents were unequivocal about respect for elders and persons in a position of respect.


Once upon a time, it was an achievement to get to be old. That they managed to get old meant that they likely had a wisdom we should value. Today no special abilities are needed to reach a ripe old age. Today’s old are just old. And “position of respect” is an anachronism. We know too much about how these people really are to respect them instinctively.

tim maguire said...

Cacimbo, years ago, Ann Landers made the argument that handicapped bathrooms are only for the handicapped. I thought it was stupid then and I think it's stupid now for just the reason you site—if no handicapped are around, then what is the sense of letting it go to waste?

I feel similarly (but less strongly) about handicapped parking spaces. How many times have you driven around a lot that is full except for the dozen or so handicapped spots, which are all empty? Have you ever driven home empty-handed because you couldn’t park, despite all these empty spaces? Because apparently the handicapped not only have a right to better parking spaces, they have a greater right than you to any kind of access to the store. They have a greater right than you to go in and buy what they need.

Kate said...

Miyamoto's invention changed the world. He's a giant. If he wants to gently correct us mere mortals, I welcome his influence.

Darrell said...

He's 68 and looks to be in pretty good health. And he's rich. Fuck him. Why isn't he using a company car with a driver. Things are pretty bad for businesses in Japan with their suicidal Covid over-reaction. That driver could use the work. Sega just shut their Building 2 skyscraper in Tokyo, which had been a tourist hotspot. When there were tourists. It had a game-inspired facade.

Rusty said...

Ann Althouse said...
"How does Miyamoto know that a young person is not disabled?"
Ann, Ann, Ann. Aren't we all disabled in some way? Personally I can't abide peas.

stevew said...

An abled person sitting in a seat reserved for the disabled when the train is relatively empty is not exhibiting selfishness. More cotton-headed thinking from the well intentioned.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

If there was a way to design the world that discouraged selfishness, that would be a change I would make.

Parents are supposed to do that.

How does Miyamoto know that a young person is not disabled?

(sarcastic reply which I am afraid is becoming reality)

Maybe he should propose we all wear distinguishing barcodes on our foreheads, as has been proposed to tell if we have taken our government mandated Covid shot.

We could have barcodes and symbols to wear in public for all sorts of things, like phobias and... wait for it...even religious or political affiliation. This way we could conveniently treat people "properly" and segregate those who are not supposed to be tolerated in public.

campy said...

Biden and Harris will soon propose new federal regulations to be enforced by new cabinet-level departments of Thoughtfulness and Kindness which will make Miyamoto's dream reality.

Birkel said...

A decent person offers their seat to anybody who looks older or infirm in any way.
And most men will offer their seat to most women, in my experience.

Kate is a special kind of troll.
Not sure what category she is just yet.

A video game changed the world?
GTFO.

Quayle said...

“ I wish I could make it so that people were more thoughtful and kind toward each other.”

One guy walked around in a circuit no larger than 100 miles or so, talked for about 3 years, didn’t write anything down and that we know, then was inauspiciously killed by Romans at the urging of some locals.

Seems to have done a lot, for centuries, to help people be kind to each other. Still influencing millions now.

mockturtle said...

People wanting to change other people. The world is full of Karens and Kens and we'd be better off without them.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

A video game changed the world?
GTFO.


What! You never played Legend of Zelda, Mario Brothers, Donkey Kong? Zelda is still being created today...although not in 8 bit format. At the time late 70's and 80's those old game were CUTTING EDGE and huge, throughout the world.

I don't think it literally changed the entire world, but it sure changed a and created a massive industry. Today's huge gaming industry and MMORPGs. The innovations that were created to play those old and new video games are the ancestors for modern games and graphical interfaces that we use daily.

That doesn't mean I have to listen to him preach at me though 😁

Big Mike said...

“I wish I could make it so that people were more thoughtful and kind toward each other.”

If people were like that, where would you get Democrats?

Roughcoat said...

Okay, and more power to her. But while she's busy doing compassion and what-all, don't forget that the world also needs "rough men [who] stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

Somebody needs to stand watch on the walls.

Lucid-Ideas said...

I wish that Hirohito and the Diet had decided to continue the war and Operation Downfall could've been given the green light instead of seeing what Japan and Japanese people have become.

But we can't have everything we wish for.

Roughcoat said...

Lucid-Ideas:

Harsh. Japan and the Japanese top the list of the most reliable allies of the U.S. Japan is the linchpin of our Pacific Rim strategy and a strong bulwark against Chinese expansionism.

Also: Operation Downfall would have resulted in an estimated one million American casualties and probably precipitated a Soviet conquest of Western Europe.

Sebastian said...

"If there was a way to design the world that discouraged selfishness"

Incentives work. Sorry.

Quayle said...

"rough men [who] stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

Which, under certain circumstances and when done with the right motive, can also be a loving act.

Lucid-Ideas said...

@Roughcoat

The Japanese "Self-Defense" Force you speak of won't put up near the resistance you think it will and their recruitment pool of herbivore males don't seem to want to join anyway.

I preferred it when Japan (and Japanese) had testicles, instead of being "nice to one another".

https://www.overtdefense.com/2020/12/03/jsdf-facing-serious-challenges-in-recruitment/

Roughcoat said...

Lucid-Ideas:

Disagree -- I think you're wrong. But let's leave it at that.

Roughcoat said...

Oh, and BTW, my dad (U.S. Navy officer, Pacific Theater of Operations, 1944-45), was one of many (I suspect) who most emphatically did NOT prefer the testicle-equipped Japanese of that period.

daskol said...

And most men will offer their seat to most women, in my experience.

Used to be true, but not in my experience over last 10-15 years. Even for pregnant women on the NYC subways, not so much. Sometimes it takes a good stare and some collective shaming to get a dude to give up his seat, as there is a certain kind of guy who can remain completely oblivious to the oldster or pregnant woman standing right in front of him. Willfully blind.

Gahrie said...

If there was a way to design the world that discouraged selfishness, that would be a change I would make."

I think it is selfish to describe people using empty seats that no one else is using or wants to use as selfish.

SGT Ted said...

"If there was a way to design the world that discouraged selfishness, that would be a change I would make." -Shigeru Miyamoto

“Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.” -CS Lewis

Leland said...

I'm with Gahrie. The guy is claiming people are taking a seat on an empty train, and he wishes could make them get up for him, and if they don't do what he wants, they are selfish? Maybe they couldn't figure out why you passed up so many empty seats wishing to have their seat.

I'm Not Sure said...

"Sometimes it takes a good stare and some collective shaming to get a dude to give up his seat, as there is a certain kind of guy who can remain completely oblivious to the oldster or pregnant woman standing right in front of him. Willfully blind."

If it's a pregnant woman or someone who's older or appears infirm, fine. For just any woman? Why? Isn't equality a thing anymore? Or is that just when it's convenient?

mockturtle said...

daskol reports:
Used to be true, but not in my experience over last 10-15 years. Even for pregnant women on the NYC subways, not so much. Sometimes it takes a good stare and some collective shaming to get a dude to give up his seat, as there is a certain kind of guy who can remain completely oblivious to the oldster or pregnant woman standing right in front of him. Willfully blind.


If I needed a seat and no one offered, I'd pick out the hottest-looking guy on the train and sit in his lap. ;-)

daskol said...

That's not a bad idea. In general, seem that the better dressed the man, the less likely he is to be proactive about giving up his seat. Take it to the bank.

Ironclad said...

Having lived in Japan twice - the "disabled" seats often get used by some healthy that feign sleep (close your eyes and don't move) rather than give up a place. When the cars are crowded too - and I mean PACKED you can barely see anything anyway if you are sitting - good way to miss your stop!.

And in most of the city trains - physical seating isn't very much since it runs parallel to the sides of the car - not like bus seating that is perpendicular. Local routes and ShinKansen have that that type seating normally (bus type)

Brian McKim and/or Traci Skene said...

He's the kinda guy who won't use the disabled stall in the bathroom-- even if there's more than one, and none are occupied. And he'll give the stink-eye to anyone who walks past him and uses it.

Howard said...

I knew CS Lewis was gay, but didn't know he was into tranny's.

mockturtle said...

I knew CS Lewis was gay, but didn't know he was into tranny's..

CS Lewis was not gay. Asexual perhaps but not gay.

mockturtle said...

I use the handicapped toilet stall if there are no handicapped people in line waiting for it as it's usually much cleaner. It's not there for exclusive use by the disabled.

Roughcoat said...

Re C.S. Lewis: Not asexual either -- not in his later years, at any rate. After meeting and marrying Joy Davidman Gresham he underwent, very much to his own astonishment and delight, a heterosexual sexual awakening. He and Joy had a profoundly loving (albeit tragically brief) relationship, in sexual intimacy figured prominently. Lewis talks about his relationship with, and love for, Joy in his later writings. Their relationship and love for each other was the subject of a very good movie, Shadowlands, starring Anthony Hopkins as Lewis and Debra Winger as Joy. Highly recommended.

Tom T. said...

The ideal world is one where we communicate our needs and are understanding when others communicate theirs. Let's do away with having to guess who needs accommodation and who doesn't.

Roughcoat said...

I happen to be a big fan of C.S. Lewis. Can you tell?

Big Mike said...

If I needed a seat and no one offered, I'd pick out the hottest-looking guy on the train and sit in his lap. ;-)

Careful when you sit. I have titanium knees. ;-)

Joe Smith said...

There was a bus stop just outside of our Tokyo apartment that was used mostly by students of the school across the street and the hospital next door.

It was used by the 'regular' bus; large, routes to the train and subway stations, and also by what I called the 'cute' bus.

The cute bus was smaller and painted like something out of Hello Kitty. It was regional and did a loop with stops at most of the shopping areas. It was 100 yen to stay on it for as long as you liked ($1).

One day we took it to go shopping and it was almost full but we got seats. At the next stop an older woman got on but there were no seats so I told her in my terrible Japanese to take mine. She was so surprised, maybe because I was a foreigner.

It struck me as odd at the time because in most other aspect, the Japanese are unfailingly polite and follow all rules (you almost never see jaywalking even when the streets are empty).

Of course, the subway system imposed segregated cars (men/women) because during commute hours everyone is crammed together and some men were being a bit enthusiastic with the rubbing together aspect of a crowded train. Go figure.

This story goes nowhere but maybe gives you a peek into a fascinating culture...

PM said...

In SF, lots of elderly Chinese ride the bus. Seats in front are reserved for them. Everybody gets up to let them sit, except the hak gwai.

Temujin said...

If there was a way to design the world that discouraged selfishness, that would be a change I would make."

Step 1: Eliminate Twitter, Facebook, and TikTok.

mockturtle said...

Joe Smith observes: It struck me as odd at the time because in most other aspect, the Japanese are unfailingly polite and follow all rules (you almost never see jaywalking even when the streets are empty).

That was my observation, too. Japanese are exceedingly polite in most situations. Elevators and trains/subways are free-for-alls.

mockturtle said...

Roughcoat, having read Lewis' writings of this period, I'd like to think this was the case and that their marriage was consummated. He certainly fell in love with her. And he was certainly not homosexual.

Balfegor said...

Re: Birkel:

A decent person offers their seat to anybody who looks older or infirm in any way.
And most men will offer their seat to most women, in my experience.


I don't disagree with your first sentence. I can only recall the second happening once or twice in my years of using public transit in the US. In fact, I recall taking the bus in LA when I was a college student and getting up so an elderly woman could have a seat and the people around me (including my friends) stared like I was an alien. It happens -- I've seen it a couple times in DC on the metro or the bus -- but I don't think it's normative at all in the US.

It's still mostly normative in Japan and Korea, but I've seen young men conspicuously fail to get up and offer their priority seats on crowded trains in Tokyo, at least a couple times. Also observed with young women absorbed in texting or something on their phones.

mockturtle said...

Roughcoat, I also am a huge fan of CS Lewis. He is one of the people I would like to meet first in heaven. :-)

mockturtle said...

Balfegor: It matters a great deal where in the US.

Kevin said...

Shorter article: Japanese man finds Japanese people still not courteous enough for his liking.

Joe Smith said...

"evators and trains/subways are free-for-alls."

It was a free-for-all in Korea, but not so much in Japan.

They do literally push people into the subways and trains in Japan at commute hours, but it is still very orderly.

People queue in lines everywhere, and stand to the side on escalators to let faster people pass them, etc.

China and Italy were fights to the death to get any time of goods or service : )

Roughcoat said...

Roughcoat, I also am a huge fan of CS Lewis. He is one of the people I would like to meet first in heaven.

And so you shall!

Joe Smith said...

"How does Miyamoto know that a young person is not disabled?"

How do I know the 30-something guy who parks in the handicapped spot at Costco with a tag hanging from his mirror and sprints into the store isn't disabled?

Maybe his brain doesn't work...

mockturtle said...

Joe, men push their way into elevators with no regard for age or gender.

mockturtle said...

stand to the side on escalators to let faster people pass them, etc.

They do that in London, too. At least they used to. Those 'playing through' would say 'sorry' to get people to move over.

Joe Smith said...

"Joe, men push their way into elevators with no regard for age or gender."

Your experience is clearly different than mine.

In almost 2 years living in Japan (and taking a thousand elevator journeys) I never saw that a single time...

It was always, 'Dozo' (please go ahead)...

Robert Cook said...

"(Words and meaning seem to change on a daily basis, so forgive me if ‘straw man’ is somehow derogatory)."

It is derogatory to straw people.

Howard said...

Asexual is just another euphemism like "confirmed bachelor".

n.n said...

Individual dignity. Intrinsic value. Inordinate worth. Progressive societies deny all three moral axioms, selectively, opportunistically, when it is politically congruent.

Rosalyn C. said...

I use the handicapped stalls in public restrooms also -- larger and cleaner and usually free. Taking a handicapped spot on a bus is entirely different because you're going to be sitting for a longer period of time. Likewise I would never park in a handicapped spot. And yes, I agree, that a handicapped person should not have to beg or argue or even be troubled to ask for a spot.

On the other hand I have a neighbor who has a handicapped placard and she uses it to park across the street in the handicapped zone whenever she has guests and wants to let them use her regular parking spot. She probably thinks highly of herself for making that sacrifice for her friends but I think she is selfishly depriving a real handicapped person from access to the building. It amazes me that she is so unsympathetic to the needs of other handicapped people.

Robert Cook said...

"And he was certainly not homosexual."

How can anyone not in the room with another person know the other's bedroom habits or be certain about the other's bedroom preferences?

Rosalyn C. said...

stevew said...
An abled person sitting in a seat reserved for the disabled when the train is relatively empty is not exhibiting selfishness. More cotton-headed thinking from the well intentioned.

Not really. Because if the train gets full and a disabled person needs that seat the able bodied person would then have the choice of standing or denying the disabled person a seat designated for them. What do you think they will do? Why not take another empty seat when there are many others available? That person is probably stupid and has no intention of giving up their seat to anyone else, iow selfish.

tcrosse said...

At the company where I worked it was always Devil-take-the-hindmost when boarding the elevators, until the company was taken over by the Brits. They instituted queues at the lifts, which is also what they do at bus stops.

effinayright said...

Joe Smith:

"This story goes nowhere but maybe gives you a peek into a fascinating culture..."
**********************

I lived in Kyoto for almost five years, taking the train to work in advertising in Osaka.

Lots to observe on those trains. Once, in the middle of the afternoon in a mostly empty car, a very drunk Japanese guy boarded with two friends.

The man was gloriously drunk, despite the time of day. The other passengers ignored him, adopting what the Japanese call a "shirankao", literally a "I-know-nothing face."

The drunk, whooping and laughing, managed to kick one of his shoes off, which hit the car ceiling with a loud clunk.

All the while I'm loving this, but the Japanese passengers?

Stony-faced "shirankao".

mockturtle said...

Drunk on the train is annoying but puking is even more so.

Robert Cook said...

stevew said...
"An abled person sitting in a seat reserved for the disabled when the train is relatively empty is not exhibiting selfishness. More cotton-headed thinking from the well intentioned."


"Not really. Because if the train gets full and a disabled person needs that seat the able bodied person would then have the choice of standing or denying the disabled person a seat designated for them. What do you think they will do? Why not take another empty seat when there are many others available? That person is probably stupid and has no intention of giving up their seat to anyone else, iow selfish."

Correct!

iowan2 said...

How can anyone not in the room with another person know the other's bedroom habits or be certain about the other's bedroom preferences?

You are quite the gay hater. That is the label leftists attach to me when I said it's hard to invent an entire protected class defined by a people's choice to sate their sexual desires. I was told homosexuality is not defined by sexual gratification.

n.n said...

In almost 2 years living in Japan (and taking a thousand elevator journeys) I never saw that a single time...

It was always, 'Dozo' (please go ahead)...


The gentleman and lady protocol that gave way to progress of male chauvinism and feminism. Throw another baby on the barbie, it's over.

gbarto said...

Wanting other people to be different than they are largely means wishing they were the product of experiences and upbringing other than what they had. Until you realize this and try in your own small corner of the world to make a world like that, it's all shouting into the wind. Of course this requires empathizing with those who irritate you, modeling behavior whose only reward is that you did what you believe to be the right thing and hoping it catches on.

I still say that the fastest way to increase happiness in a given sector is to be patient and kind with the cashier who is having a bad day. You can probably turn one smile into ten or twelve before the next asshole messes it up.

Perhaps when this gentleman boards an empty train car, he should take a reserved seat for the express purpose of assuring that when the train fills up there will be someone there who actually yields there seat. Setting the example will do more than scowling.

Rabel said...

"Our conversation has been edited for length and clarity."

The internet says that Miyamoto speaks little English, so his responses were also translated from Japanese before being edited for length and clarity. This was not noted in the article.

That means that we have only the word of The New Yorker's video game reviewer and his editor on what Miyamoto had to say.

So, we know nothing.

hstad said...

This kind of naïve wishful thinking reminds me of the 'Elites' in the 1930s who wanted unilateral disarmament while Germany, under Hitler, who was rearming at such a rapid pace it was embarrassing to these so-called experts. The failure of France and the U.K. to intervene in Germany at that time produced WW2. Wishful thinking, like the 'Pacifists' of the 1930s killed more people in the World. As Dust Bunny Queen said..."...If there was a way to design the world that discouraged selfishness..." perfectly describes humans. 'Elites' or the 'Intelligentsia' who have caused more people to perish then any other group in the World due to their "selfishness".

Greg The Class Traitor said...

"I wouldn’t want to be annoying. I wish we were all a little more compassionate in these small ways."

So, you want to "compassionately" demand that everyone be pointlessly stupid?

If you come to sit there, and they don't get out of your way, they're being a jerk.

if you demand that no one else ever sit there because there's a 1% chance that the "right" person will want to sit there, then YOU are the jerk.

He needs to start being more compassionate himself, rather than worrying about the rest of us

mockturtle said...

I still say that the fastest way to increase happiness in a given sector is to be patient and kind with the cashier who is having a bad day. You can probably turn one smile into ten or twelve before the next asshole messes it up.

Exactly, gbarto! We can each do his/her part. What we cannot do is change others.

Joe Smith said...

"At the company where I worked it was always Devil-take-the-hindmost when boarding the elevators..."

At most big companies, the positions occupied in the elevator (or auto for that matter) are carefully designated according to seniority. This is also true for sit-down meetings...the order is known ahead of time.

"I lived in Kyoto for almost five years, taking the train to work in advertising in Osaka."

I could never figure out why, in Tokyo you board buses at the front and exit at the back, but in Kyoto you board at the back and exit out the front.

Very un-Japanese like non-uniformity...Omoshiroi desu.

FullMoon said...

mockturtle said... [hush]​[hide comment]
..... If I needed a seat and no one offered, I'd pick out the hottest-looking guy on the train and sit in his lap. ;-)


That was you? Small world!

FullMoon said...

I still say that the fastest way to increase happiness in a given sector is to be patient and kind with the cashier who is having a bad day. You can probably turn one smile into ten or twelve before the next asshole messes it up.

If it is not too busy, ask if they had any crazy customers today. They ALL have had nut jobs.

One responded "No you're the first". I think she was kidding.

mockturtle said...

Full moon: :-D

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

Howard,

Asexual is just another euphemism like "confirmed bachelor".

Bollocks. Or are you claiming to be inside another's head? "Asexual" is there down towards the end of the LGBTQ++ line, and there are, indeed, people who just don't care about sex. That you yourself happen not to be one of them doesn't make the phenomenon disappear. Though I imagine that many phenomena seem to disappear, to you, when you decide not to think about them.

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

The handicapped restroom/elderly-and/or-disabled spot on the bus problem has been around a very long time. To me the former, at least, is pretty simple in most contexts: You have a number of stalls, one of which is for the disabled. If they're all empty, you use a non-disabled one, unless you are disabled. If they're all full, you wait for the next to open up, and then you take it, disabled or not. Bear in mind that the number of disabled, as in "needing to use a disabled restroom stall," is vastly lower than the number of such stalls provided.

Buses are trickier. There are lots of complications besides the elderly/disabled/pregnant woman thing. Like "manspreading," which has now been topped by "womanspreading," i.e., having a gazillion shopping bags with you, and taking up three seats in consequence. And, of course, there are always the homeless folk who take up a row by themselves to sleep. I don't begrudge them their sleep, but OTOH the purpose of the bus is to get people from Point A to Point B.

My own rules: I give up my seat to anyone who seems to need it, and when traveling with bags, &c., I keep them as close to myself as possible, so as to minimize the seat loss. And I always move in towards the window, rather than sitting on the aisle and leaving the window seat vacant until someone is churlish enough to ask for it. All just common sense, really.

bagoh20 said...

The selfishness is expecting people to leave a seat open for you even if you are not there and can't possibly need it. Handicapped or not, that's the height of selfishness. We are all victims in one way or other, so get over yourself. It doesn't excuse everything.

ken in tx said...

I lived in S. Korea for 2 yrs. I observed that they were extremely polite, but only indoors. Outdoors, all bets are off. Blowing your nose in public is offensive but hawking and spitting on the street is not. They would not stand in line at a taxi or bus stop. Even if forced to by one of those metal cattle chutes, they would try to shove past you if you were first in line. Men chewed food with their mouths open, women not. Proper bowing etiquette required you to know the generation cohort of the person you are bowing to. Korean middle names supplied this information.

mockturtle said...

Blowing your nose in public is offensive but hawking and spitting on the street is not.

True in Japan, as well. But streets and sidewalks are cleaned frequently, so there's that.

The Godfather said...

Used to be that "confirmed bachelor" meant just that. Suppose you were an Irishman with a decent job, back in the day. Your job paid you enough to buy pints for yourself and your mates at the local. But if you married, you and Bridget would have a dozen children, and you would need to work two jobs just to pay the rent and buy the groceries. So you decided to stay a bachelor; a "confirmed bachelor". When times changed, when birth control came along and Bridget accepted it, then with a couple of bairns you could still go to the pub two or three nights a week. So if THEN you still didn't marry, you were either asexual or gay.

effinayright said...

ken in tx said:

. Blowing your nose in public is offensive but hawking and spitting on the street is not.
*******************

In East Asia years back, pinching your nose with your fingers and blowing the contents onto the street was quite common.

Westerners called it "the Hong Kong salute".

DEEBEE said...

I can never shake the feeling that I just met a proto PolPot, whenever I come across, virtually thankfully, an improver of the human condition.

Alice speaks said...

I absolutely loved your blog. More power to you.

Balfegor said...

Re: Ken in TX:

Proper bowing etiquette required you to know the generation cohort of the person you are bowing to. Korean middle names supplied this information.

That only works if you know the sequence of generation names for the family of the person you're interacting with. I guess if it's one of the large or prominent families, like the Gyeongju Kims or the Gwangsan Kims, then it might be common knowledge (I feel like among old Yangban families, this might actually have been common knowledge in the past, but I kind of doubt it today). But the number of current descendants of my grandfather's family is quite small in comparison -- most people probably don't know their sequence. And it's not like peoples' business cards indicate which Kim or Park or Lee family they're from.

I think more often people just run by age, title, and/or school year. If someone is an isa (director), for example, he'll take precedence over a kwajang (section chief) in the same organisation, even if the director is 45 and the kwajang is 52. But precedence is determined based on the relationship, so, e.g. if the elder brother's wife is 35 and the younger brother's wife is 38, the the younger brother's wife still has to show respect to the elder brother's wife

All that said, though, my mother's family is a small one, and when I see someone the right family name and a generation name I recognise on a list of names or an email, I do get a vague suspicion that hey, he might be a distant cousin. But then again, he might not. So maybe people do pay attention to that sort of thing when they're meeting people who might be from the same clan.