October 19, 2020

"The New Yorker has suspended reporter Jeffrey Toobin... because he exposed himself during a Zoom call last week between members of the New Yorker and WNYC radio."

"Toobin said in a statement to Motherboard: 'I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers. I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video".... 'Jeff Toobin has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted,' CNN said in a statement."

Vice reports, referring to this as the "Zoom Dick Incident."

Who believes he thought he was off camera? Even if he thought he had "muted the Zoom video," how could he not make absolutely sure before bringing his penis out and why would that be something he'd do during a Zoom call anyway?!

ADDED: The headline at The Washington Post is "The New Yorker suspends writer Jeffrey Toobin after accidental Zoom exposure," and the highest rated comment is: "How do you know it was 'accidental'? Wouldn't more neutral language be to just say he exposed himself and quote him as saying it was inadvertent? Isn't it for the investigation to determine whether it was an 'accident' or not?" 

AND: There's an update — a hell of an update — at Vice now: "This piece has been updated with more detail about the call and the headline has been updated to reflect that Toobin was masturbating."
Two people who were on the call told Motherboard separately that the call was an election simulation featuring many of the New Yorker's biggest stars: Jane Mayer was playing establishment Republicans; Evan Osnos was Joe Biden, Jelani Cobb was establishment Democrats, Masha Gessen played Donald Trump, Andrew Marantz was the far right, Sue Halpern was left wing democrats, Dexter Filkins was the military, and Jeffrey Toobin playing the courts. There were also a handful of other producers on the call from the New Yorker and WNYC. Both people, who spoke on the condition of anonymity in order to speak freely, noted that it was unclear how much each individual person on the call saw, but both of the people we spoke to said that they saw Toobin jerking off.... The sources said that when the groups returned from their break out rooms, Toobin lowered the camera. The people on the call said they could see Toobin touching his penis. Toobin then left the call. Moments later, he called back in, seemingly unaware of what his colleagues had been able to see, and the simulation continued....

And the stimulation did not continue (one presumes).

This may be the stupidest thing I have seen in 17 years of blogging.

PLUS: "seemingly unaware" is funny. I'm picturing: He realizes he's on camera, leaves the call, hoping it might work to call back and act like nothing happened. Oh, hello...

ALSO: Heh...

204 comments:

1 – 200 of 204   Newer›   Newest»
Kai Akker said...

Toobin exposed himself long ago. No one cared. Maybe they should have cared more.

I'm Not Sure said...

"Isn't it for the investigation to determine..."

Now do Biden's computer.

Rick said...

Who believes he thought he was off camera

I do. The easiest path for this mistake is for him to have been watching porn instead of paying attention to his call, mistakenly believing the video was off.

We're seriously supposed to believe he intentionally put his employment at risk and expose himself [ha!] to public ridicule?

mockturtle said...

Typical CNN staffer.

Tom said...

Punching the munchkin during a zoom call is probably not recommended.

NCMoss said...

Doesn't McAfee have a "blur" filter for situations like this?

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Because he had another tab open to PornHub and thought he’d have a little midafternoon wank.





Jupiter said...

As Ace put it, "Yeah I'm gonna need to see the woman on the other side of this zoom sesh."

J Melcher said...

He claimed WITHOUT EVIDENCE that ...

This is the formula specified for use with public (pubic?) figures nowadays.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Isn’t this the same asshole who impregnated a colleagues daughter while married?

Just cut them off dude. Clearly you can’t handle them responsibly.

DanTheMan said...

Toobin should have claimed his Zoom was hacked by Russians to create a "deceptively edited" video.

Those are the Big 3 lefty excuses.

Gk1 said...

Where will CNN get it's crack legal analysis now? Is Anthony Weiner still available to fill in?

Mattman26 said...

I love how he thought he had "muted the . . . video."

What a dipshit. Harvard, right?

Birkel said...

Tom made me laugh!
Well done, sir.

Valentine Smith said...

Did he wave or stroke? Does it make a difference?

R.A. Crankbait said...

He must have been quite aroused by the latest anti-Trump scoop.

pacwest said...

What's the big deal? I know I always take my pants and underwear off immediately after any teleconference.

Iman said...

Who who who
Who who who
Who who who's
Zoomin' who?

Deep State Reformer said...

The media spinmeisters will find a way to rehabilitate him though, just stay tuned. Ol' Jeff will go silent for a decent interval & then make a come back. Weiner was rehabbed too until he reoffended. No doubt in my mind. I fully expect O.J. to be back on the airwaves if he lives long enough.

Bay Area Guy said...

It's really poor etiquette to whip out your Johnson in a Zoom call. Someone should call Toby at HR:)

Iman said...

Toobin simply confirmed what many have thought about him for years. He's a jerk-off.

Lem said...

The boys were suffocating listening to the New Yorker and to National Public Radio people.

Bay Area Guy said...

I guess Harvey Weinstein was technologically challenged -- his main vehicle for stimulation was not Zoom, but potted plants.

Drago said...

This is quite a blow for the democraticals, particularly the ones who pretend to be Michigan lawyers on popular blog sites.

paminwi said...

I can’t stop laughing at this!
Mr. Know It All Toobin, just making sure his manhood is still there FORGETS he might be seen fondling himself!
He deserves every bit of ridicule coming his way and then some.
He’s a self-righteous prick.

Lucid-Ideas said...

If he thinks this is bad, wait till someone tells him that the whole session is stored on a drive in a PLA-I server-farm in SanMing, Fujian China. Forever.

JZ said...

This clip with added comments sealed my opinion of Toobin years ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqhDHz10vLA

Bay Area Guy said...

Jeffrey Toobin channels the legendary Sheriff Bart -- Excuse while I whip this out (at the end of video).

Dave Begley said...

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

JaimeRoberto said...

Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time.

Sebastian said...

"How do you know it was 'accidental'?"

What, they have to know something in order to protect a fellow prog?

Rob said...

A rare sighting of the one-eyed pant snake.

rcocean said...

So, Toobin's whipping out his dick and masturbating during Zoom business meetings, and he just forgot to turn off the camera, during break time? Only a bad lawyer like Toobin, would think up such a weird, odd, defense. It was just a "mistake". Hey, it was a senior moment.

what is it with their weirdo freaks like weinstein, Toobin, C.K. Louis, and Matt Lauer?

SoLastMillennium said...

Sounds like the plot in a Seinfeld episode.

Now I can't be the only one thinking that....

rcocean said...

Is toobin watching his New Yorker colleague's and beating off? I'd find that offensive. But then maybe Toobin will get a phone call from a New Yorker writer babe. Its liberals after all.

Maillard Reactionary said...

News analysis like this, you only get at Althouse.

rehajm said...

He took it out...

BrentonTalcott said...

Symbolic of the Mocking Bird Media?

Unintentional self exposure that is....

rehajm said...

HE...took IT...OUT

readering said...

I witness lots of folks having trouble with zoom audio mute/unmute button. Don't see it as much with zoom video button. But live by the zoom, die by the zoom.

I guess the "I was hacked" excuse hasn't been too effective.

wendybar said...

BAHAHHAHAHAHHAHH.....Hilarious.

rehajm said...

the new game is to replace every new yorker cartoon caption with "Jeffrey Toobin took his dick out on a Zoom call."

Ron Winkleheimer said...

"How do you know it was 'accidental'? Wouldn't more neutral language be to just say he exposed himself and quote him as saying it was inadvertent?"

Journalists these days seem incapable of not editorializing when reporting straight news. I noticed earlier today a news article where the reporter wrote that an advisor to the president "incorrectly" stated that masks aren't effective. Whether or not masks are effective is what is being disputed. A decent editor would have removed the "incorrectly" and then given the journalist a lesson in reporting 101. That is, if reporting the news was what they were actually doing. An honest recounting of the events would be that the presidents advisors disagree on whether masks and social distancing are effective and that there is no scientific consensus on what the best course of action is and public health organizations such as the CDC and WHO have offered conflicting advice and have changed their advice on multiple occasions. But that would make it sound like managing a pandemic isn't just a case of listening to the SCIENCE! and doing what the SCIENCE! says.

chuck said...

I'd blame Trump, but I'm sure someone has beaten me to it.

readering said...

Then there's the comment, "Jeffrey Tubin'"

bagoh20 said...

This is worthy, but things like the worst of corruption by the Democrat nominee for President, or the proof that Twitter executive are openly hostile to Trump and have censored his campaigns accounts 65 times and Biden's zero?

Yes, Mr Toobin has a penis, I mentioned it. Now lets get to something more juicy.

Joe Smith said...

So he's not only a jerk on TV but a jerk off as well?

bagoh20 said...

The amount of nudity going on during Zoom calls is probably E. Normous.

Ron Winkleheimer said...

Reporters, who have never worked in any other field, and thus have no expertise in anything at all, except propaganda, seem to think that for every problem their is a single, optimal, easily discernible solution. Those of us who work in the real world know that there are always multiple sub-optimal solutions to problems that may not be understood very well and that constraints of money, time, and resources have to be considered when deciding whether to solve a problem or just live with it.

readering said...

Still don't think it's as embarrassing as POTUS and entourage going out in public with their faces fully exposed.

Chennaul said...

Brings new meaning to— wanting to pack the court.

Bay Area Guy said...

My New Yorker Cartoon caption is ready to go:

"Hey, that's NOT the mute button!"

Ken B said...

Did he have a boner? Then he was wanking.

Some guys you can’t tell. Like Birkel.

This is not remotely the most stupid thing he has done. Two decades of bad commentary.

Still and all, it’s more than we see of Biden isn’t it?

Hippogryph said...

Its nickname is "the Toob".

tim maguire said...

You know he was going to jerk off to someone at the meeting.

Maillard Reactionary said...

Who will suffer more career damage from their recent embarrassing public moments-- Jerrold ("Pantload") Nadler or Jeffrey ("Zoomin") Toobin?

Leland said...

how could he not make absolutely sure before bringing his penis out and why would that be something he'd do during a Zoom call anyway?!

That's not showing a lot of sophistication about modern sex.

Yancey Ward said...

His Zoom feed was hacked!!! Probably by Russians!

Freeman Hunt said...

We need details. Did the dude stand up to go get a drink of water and wasn't wearing pants? Or were the circumstances a bit more salacious? Without details, it's hard not to assume the latter. (Were he a Republican and there were no details, one would be inclined to assume the former.)

Yancey Ward said...

He took it out.

FullMoon said...

Stimulating Zoom meeting focused on Hunter Biden vids and photos. Obviously arousing


Fav from vice article

He did, however, appear on CNN, where he is the network’s chief legal analyst, on Saturday. “Jeff Toobin has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted,” CNN said in a statement.

Yancey Ward said...

There are no jokes to be made here that haven't been made already. I even thought about the "Tubin" one, too. This is what I get for taking a nap

Anthony said...

"There's a mute button?"

Chuck said...

Staying in the spirit of the other comments I see on this page, I presume that Toobin saw the latest poll numbers showing the widened Biden lead over Trump and got himself an erection that could not be contained by the clothes he was wearing.

Dave Begley said...

Agree that this is incredibly stupid but this guy worked for both CNN and The New Yorker; two liberal establishment organizations.

If Toobin was portraying the courts in this stimulation, what was he thinking about while whacking off? That Biden would win?

Wait until Hunter's videos come out.

Ken B said...

All the commenters speculating about exactly this:1 Althouse:0

Michael K said...

Toobin is working on his Weiner impersonation.

He really is a creep and repeat offender.

Michael K said...

readering likes penises better than faces.

sterlingblue said...

54% of the country believes the horrible things Toobin has said about Trump. He's been a trusted expert, in their eyes.

mezzrow said...

"the new game is to replace every new yorker cartoon caption with "Jeffrey Toobin took his dick out on a Zoom call."

Congratulations, you got here first. If you didn't follow this link, follow it now. It is what has been described above. The distinctive font puts it over the line.

Something for everyone, a comedy tonight! Tears.

Freeman Hunt said...

Ha! Saw the update. Question answered. That's terrible.

AllenS said...

Toobin: a man without a Monica.

Lars Porsena said...

I imagine that more then one journolist gets a woodie while trashing Trump.

Psota said...

What's with all of these election simulations?
Have there been election simulations in the past?
Why does the New Yorker need to do this?

This sounds like mass psychosis.

Readering said...

The stupidest thing in 17 years of blogging sounds like something someone without a penis would write.

D.D. Driver said...

Jeff Toobin has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted

Geez. He needs time off to deal with his "personal issue"? He didn't finish with his personal issue while he was on the call?! How much time does he need?

Hammond X. Gritzkofe said...

He was suspended for choking the chicken on camera? Seems like Dishonorable Discharge would be more appropriate.

Readering said...

I'm old enough to remember when Toobin heard that the OJ verdict was already in and confidently predicted it meant conviction.

YoungHegelian said...

What a whack job!

rhhardin said...

Semper priapus

Priapus was a minor fertility god in Greek mythology, who was also the protector of livestock, fruit plants, and male genitals. He was depicted as having an oversized and permanent erection. Sources differ as to who his parents were.

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

Jeffery Toobin and the Election Simulation Stimulation!


Sounds like a band Althouse went to see when she was in college.


From the WaPo comments:

The lesson here is to keep your camera covered with tape or a PostIt until you actually need to use it, and cover it again afterward. Don't rely on the button. (Never assume that the audio "mute" is working, either, as long as you're linked.)

Only at WaPo would the lesson not be; Don't Beat Your Meat During A Work Meeting!

rhhardin said...

He was probably fired for objectivizing women. Rousseau first noticed the problem.

Third Coast said...

Toobin was just demonstrating what real "mansplainin'" is.

Lurker21 said...


Poll here: Who gave Toobin the woody?

Masha Gessen is in the lead. She has quite an "Eddie Redmayne" vibe going.

The Godfather said...

I went to the first link on this post and immediately came to a page that said "DO WHAT'S HARD". Isn't that what he did?

Bunkypotatohead said...

These are the people who look down on the rest of us.

Swede said...

Another solid argument against multitasking.

Concentrate, people.

eddie willers said...

Took Hunter off the front page, didn't it?

Narayanan said...

Jeffrey Toobin playing the courts
------------==============
if only he had put on Cosplay judicial robes (or his blue dress)

(the activity or practice of dressing up as a character from a work of fiction (such as a comic book, video game, or television show) In cosplay, a good costume is as much about creativity with materials and construction as it is about the outcome.)

stevew said...

I'm 63 and have seen and heard of a lot of weird behavior, this shocks me.

I've been on a LOT of zoom calls, especially over the last 7 months and have never exposed myself nor seen anyone else expose themselves. Perhaps I need to zoom with a different crowd?

How funny is that, using ZOOM to masturbate. Mr. Toobin will be on the outs for quite some time I think.

Mark said...

It took me three or four news stories before it became clear that "exposed himself" was in the sexual context and not in the sense of revealing himself to be a biased, dishonest fraud.

traditionalguy said...

Maybe he was protesting something and wants equal treatment with the nude feminists who do it to get attention.

William said...

Best sex scandal since Weiner. No one will ever top Weiner, especially his encore act, but this is a superlative effort.....These New Yorker babes must be far better looking than I have ever imagined. Maybe it was the cosplay that drove him mad with lust.....Sexual mores change over time. When I was young, gentlemen seldom masturbated during business meetings, but this seems to be happening more and more, especially among the trendsetters in Hollywood and New York.....What I would like to see is one of the guests on The View rub one out. That would take heroic effort and determination. Any man who could succeed in doing that would have my full respect and admiration. If Joe Biden did that, it would put all those rumors about him being an addled, worn out old man to rest. But only if he did it on The View. This woman who's hosting the debate is borderline hot, so it wouldn't be that much of an achievement if he did it during the debate.

Big Mike said...

This may be the stupidest thing I have seen in 17 years of blogging.

You actually saw it? Were you part of the Zoom meeting?

Earnest Prole said...

So you're telling me you can't just whip out your Toobin and wave it around on the internet?

bagoh20 said...

"Still don't think it's as embarrassing as POTUS and entourage going out in public with their faces fully exposed."

And saying that is more embarrassing than both.

Earnest Prole said...

Word is that Jeffrey's Toobin is small but perfectly formed.

walter said...

"Two people who were on the call told Motherboard separately that the call was an election simulation"
Different strokes..for..you know the thing!

Tom said...

He’s a jerk on TV and he’s, well, a jerk off as well.

cubanbob said...

readering said...
Still don't think it's as embarrassing as POTUS and entourage going out in public with their faces fully exposed."

Now that is world class stupidity. So if Trump were to whip out his dick while masked would that be worse than not wearing a mask?

Drago said...

readering: "Still don't think it's as embarrassing as POTUS and entourage going out in public with their faces fully exposed."

We'll just leave that one up for a bit and marvel at it as it is perfectly representative and illustrative.

Krumhorn said...

Still don't think it's as embarrassing as POTUS and entourage going out in public with their faces fully exposed

Hahaha...we can always count on Readering to pants themself and moon the blog.

- Krumhorn

madAsHell said...

Toobin!!

Maybe he could ask Monica for a Lewinski!!

Drago said...

rehajm: "HE...took IT...OUT"

Maybe he thought Jeff Greenfield's daughter was in the room.....again.

Freeman Hunt said...

"Oh, I thought the camera was off. Sorry!" Not a great defense for jerking off during a business call!

President-Mom-Jeans said...

"Still don't think it's as embarrassing as POTUS and entourage going out in public with their faces fully exposed."

Thanks for sharing that hot take. I was wondering what degenerate retards thought.

Bob Boyd said...

Alternate Headline:
Wanker Caught Wanking During Wankfest

Kevin said...

Come on people, these are your betters!

They tell you what to think and how you’re to behave.

His hand must have been hacked.

Bay Area Guy said...

Two people who were on the call told Motherboard separately that the call was an election simulation featuring many of the New Yorker's biggest stars: Jane Mayer was playing establishment Republicans; Evan Osnos was Joe Biden, Jelani Cobb was establishment Democrats, Masha Gessen played Donald Trump, Andrew Marantz was the far right, Sue Halpern was left wing democrats, Dexter Filkins was the military, and Jeffrey Toobin playing the courts.

Two thoughts:

1. Jane Meyer? Jelani Cobb? This is a pretty cerebral New Yorker crowd in which to be wacking off on Zoom. Hey Jeffrey, was there no Playboy magazine near by?

2. I read "election simulation" to be "election stimulation." My bad.

If you're wacking off to New Yorker rap sessions on Zoom, well, you might have a few issues in that cerebral cortex up there, Jeffrey.

Jupiter said...

"Then there's the comment, "Jeffrey Tubin'"

Tubout, actually.

Bay Area Guy said...

I think for my next Zoom conference, we'll have to stipulate to the "Toobin" Rule.

No unnecessary touching of one's private parts during the the conference -- provided that, if such urge becomes uncontrollable, the participant must utilize the break-out room, with the mute button ON.

Where is HR when you really need them?

Maillard Reactionary said...

When he writes his memoirs, he'll title it "Private Ejaculations".

OK, I stole that one.

Francisco D said...

Toobin said: I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video"..

So he thought, "What the hell. I got time on my hands and a woodie. I might as well jerk off."

Aside from the absolute hilarity, you have to ask yourselves if you have grossly underestimated the craziness of our current crop of leftists


MayBee said...

A CNN political analyst wacking off to an election night simulation is a little too on the nose, isn't it?

Night Owl said...

They said they were doing an "election simulation", but Jeff apparently decided he'd rather do an "erection stimulation".

tim in vermont said...

‘This piece has been updated with more detail about the call and the headline has been updated to reflect that Toobin was masturbating.’

I am so shocked.

It must be such a trial working with all of the hot women that gravitate to TV. And now with COVID, he just can’t bend one over his desk. Isolation is hell on everyone.

Humperdink said...

Have we discovered the real pee-pee tape, so to speak?

tim in vermont said...

In his defense, he said ‘Wait a minute, wasn’t this our daily anti-Trump circle jerk?"

Bob Boyd said...

I can't keep up with what's been going down
I think Jeffrey Toobin must be slowing down
Among the human beings
With custom Iphone rings
Am I the only one who hears the screams
And the strangled cries of lawyers in love?

Today I read the news on Althouse, about a fall
A virus escaped while no one was watching, it jumped the wall
Now we're all on Zoom
Where we can see the room
And I hear a job will be open soon
Send your CV to @Lawyers In Love

Clyde said...

In the past, I was of the opinion that Toobin didn't know dick about anything. Apparently, I was wrong, because he seems to have found something he knew dick about.

BidenFamilyTaxPayerFundedCrackPipe said...

Toobin when Tubin'.

LOL - I love comeuppance.

Night Owl said...

Well, count on democrats to make themselves disgusting to ordinary people.

Readering said...

Some folks are trying to drain the fun out of this story.

MadisonMan said...

Two people who were on the call told Motherboard separately that the call was an election simulation featuring many of the New Yorker's biggest stars
Is it too easy to say the call was an erection stimulation?

PB said...

This is the same weasel who impregnated his best friend's daughter, tried to pay her to get an abortion, and then had to be dragged into court to get him to pay child support.

I don't think his family will be surprised at this.

AlbertAnonymous said...

Well they said it was an “erection stimulation” exercise....

Oh. Sorry. I see now it said “election simulation”. Never mind.

gilbar said...

"Still don't think it's as embarrassing as readering."

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...

Remember, everyone, Toobin is part of the elite media class.

They are much smarter than you and you should listen to them when they tell you how to vote.

daskol said...

It was obviously an Asian joke gone wrong.

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...

readering, does your knee jerk left in your sleep?

You could have simply kept your mouth shut on this one. But you automatically, reflexively just had to play the "But Trump!!" card.

Iman said...

Apologies to Lowell George...

If you like laughing at a lefty tweet, he's the man to meet (he's the man to meet)
If you like the sound of beating meat, he can't be beat (i say he can't be beat)
I said up (stroke)
I said down (stroke)
Zoom people call in from miles around
I said up (stroke)
Down (stroke)
In (stroke)
Out (stroke)
I said, if you (if you)
if you wanna (if you wanna)
If you wanna feel real nice,
just ask the Boy with the Joy Toy’s advice

daskol said...

Supplies!

gilbar said...

election simulation
???
pretty sure that has one or two typos in it
should be
erection simulation?
erection stimulation?
...maybe
election stimulation??

n.n said...

hacked by Russians to create a "deceptively edited" video.

Those are the Big 3 lefty excuses.


Russia, Russia, Russia. Maybe the dingo ate your baby.

HMuns said...

Man you Leftists are sick.

Phil 314 said...

I’m worried that the national schadenfreude supply will now be seriously depleted by this unfortunate episode.

Yancey Ward said...

As long as he was wearing a mask, all should be ok with Toobin.

bagoh20 said...

C'mon man! It's an easy mistake to make. Somebody says we're going to do an election simulation and Toobin hears "erection stimulation". He was simply doing what he thought it takes to influence this election. You gotta admit, the man has spunk.

Yancey Ward said...

Chuck, is it true that you hold the world record for sucking your own cock?

bagoh20 said...

Seriously, I thought he just walked by naked from the shower or something, but this is absolutely hilarious and almost inexplicable. Couldn't happen to a more deserving guy. Trump makes lefties crazy, and apparently very horny too.

bagoh20 said...

A better excuse would be that he was imagining Kameltoe Harris as President, and how she could pull the economy out of it's flaccid state.

Spiros Pappas said...

Hilarious.

JAORE said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Birkel said...

I see a fopdoodle is still talking about polls despite the fact we have actual voting data.

Sorry, fopdoodle, but Trump will be president another four years.

Michael K said...

I presume that Toobin saw the latest poll numbers showing the widened Biden lead over Trump and got himself an erection that could not be contained by the clothes he was wearing.

Chuck drops another pearl. I assume you know this because of your own.

Aussie Pundit said...

He was watching porn between calls and made a mistake.

Sebastian said...

"This may be the stupidest thing I have seen in 17 years of blogging."

Stupider than Hunter leaving his laptop at the computer store?

Or are we saying the Russians did it?

pacwest said...

What's Joe doing down in basement all this time? We wonders, yes we does.

tom said...

It's pretty reasonable to assume that leaving the camera on was accidental. I'm sure it's happened a few times to not famous people.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

Toobin Snake Boogie ZZ Top

Iman said...

Erection Simulation Wargame?

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

and in related news...

Advertising boss 'is sacked after taking webcam into the toilet during Zoom call prank'

Jilted mother faces jail after posting 'revenge porn' pictures of ex's 'little d***' online

Bay Area Guy said...

I dunno about you guys, but this Toobin story really rubs me the wrong way.

Balfegor said...

When I stop video, I actually drop a handkerchief over my freestanding camera and slip a folded up bit of cardstock over my laptop camera for . . . well, not precisely this issue. I've never, uh, done a Toobin on a video call. Or any call. But still, I don't want the camera seeing me go about in my room, folding my undergarments, whatever.

On the other hand, I am probably more casual than I should be about taking business calls in inappropriate places. Specifically, I often take long baths and if a call comes in, I will usually answer it from the bath. So technically, I guess I'm naked, which is not quite appropriate.

Balfegor said...

That said, you know, if you call me at 10 pm, it can't be a surprise if I'm déshabillé or in my bath.

I don't feel guilty.

Static Ping said...

Maybe they should give Toobin his own show with Kurt Eichenwald: The Tentacles of Zoom.

It probably would have higher ratings than what they normally show on CNN, not to mention more informative.

Static Ping said...

Oh, and for the record, our betters are idiots.

dustbunny said...

I remember Althouse writing about The Two Toobins as there is another roly-poly legal commenter who resembles Jeffrey.. But I forgot his name (and how Althouse referred to him) but he might be getting a promotion.
Twitter has been nothing but dick jokes and puns all day, I’m wanked out.

bagoh20 said...

"Who believes he thought he was off camera? "

I do, because I can't imagine him wanting to be seen and have his career, relationships, reputation destroyed. He's no Louis C.K.

Unless he thought he was zooming with someone else who he intended to have see it, but not his colleagues.

wildswan said...

"No, Jeffery, no. It was an election simulation, not an erection stimulation and the others were not ..."
Or were they?

Mr. T. said...

Must be the same russian hackers that Steve Scully told everyone about...

Those jerkoffs!

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

"Russians hacked my penis"

...When will foreigners stop interfering in our erections?

Night said...

You have to be pretty pro Biden to be willing to absorb the Hunter Biden story like this.

Night said...

Don't be fooled. All Men on Zoom calls are thinking it is a substitute for porn hub.

Bob Boyd said...

He thought it was time for the Simultaneous Grip.

PJH said...

With all these muffled sounds speaking through masks it is understandable the he mis-heard "election simulation" for "erection stimulation".

BidenFamilyTaxPayerFundedCrackPipe said...

"Doing a Toobin"

lol

BidenFamilyTaxPayerFundedCrackPipe said...

Of course it was the Russians!

Paul said...

Gad.... Toobin was beat'en his meat... on camera. Shades of Pee-wee Herman. Ewwwww.

Sick little man.

Static Ping said...

Of course, when we all got stuck at home and people started having Zoom meetings, it was a recurring issue of randos hacking their way into the meetings (very easy to do) and then showing off their junk, calling everyone the "n" word, or reveling in other fun ways to show off their superior IQs. Perhaps Mr. Toobin forgot which meeting he was in and did what he normally does when using the app. Or perhaps this was a dry run for his debut! Well, not a dry run exactly....

Paul said...

And while we are at it... shades of Anthony Weiner!

Now we wonder what Biden does when he has no little girls in that basement.

mockturtle said...

ICTA @9:01, good one! ;-)

Gunner said...

This whole "simulation" was just a huge liberal circle jerk. Toobin was just doing it honestly.

Ken B said...

Really, the airwaves are full of shits who do much worse things. Look at what that idiotic sportscaster knowingly does on camera. Lots of people should lose their careers before Toobin does. That said, I’ll take it. The world will be a better place if Toobin is less prominent in it.

mockturtle said...

Is this a Jewish guy thing? Some kind of Portnoy effect?

MAJMike said...

The LibCong got all the smart ones.

Bay Area Guy said...

In my deepest baritone James Earl Jones voice, followed by my Al Pacino Scarface voice:

"This.is.CNN - now say hello to my little friend!"

Original Mike said...

LOL. Jeffrey Toobin was Inga's answer to Jonathan Turley.

Francisco D said...

In the late 60's we had August football practice in miserable Chicago heat and humidity. The coaches made us run laps with full gear and no water. It was horrible. We had group chants to distract us from the pain. To wit:

When the heats got you down
and you can't feel your feet
just pull down your zipper
and beat your meat...

beat your meat
beat your meat
beat your meat....


those were the days when men were men and sheep were scared.

Jeffrey Toobin reminded me of something I had not thought about in over 50 years.






Icepilot said...

Toobin gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Hoist by his own petard".

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

thanks Mock!
lots of good ones from this bunch, as usual!

We keep a squeegee handy for the monitor when reading Althouse

Narayanan said...

http://awakeanddreaming.org/are-my-testicles-black/

Are My Testicles Black?
April 6, 2020 Roshan
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
“Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”
He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?” Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
“Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:
“Are – my – test – results – back?”

n.n said...

You have to be pretty pro Biden to be willing to absorb the Hunter Biden story like this.

Biden the international pedophile. Biden the globalist betrayer. Biden the high-priced influencer. Who's Biden? More Toobin falling on his... uh, sword.

Lurker21 said...


Talk about autoerotic fatalities.

The Accidental Onanist. Anne Tyler, right?

You know if Jeffrey ever gets back on television, the other panelists will be making obscene gestures at him when they thing the camera isn't looking.

Readering said...

I believe it was accidental, but not his first time and with repetition he got more careless.

Bob Smith said...

My guess given the people doing that simulation? Ol Jeffery was the participant who “got there” first.

mikee said...

My Zoom background is an 8"x10" framed picture of me. And I don't talk much in meetings, if you've ever had one with me on Zoom. Hard to tell if I'm really there or it is just the picture, after a few minutes. I've rarely been called out for going to the fridge for a Diet Coke during a meeting, especially after the first 30 minutes of boredom. Try it.

AllenS said...

Hold my Democrat Party Info Folder, and watch this.

Temujin said...

Not much more to say than, "This is CNN".

Jane Mayer as the Republican establishment. Funny.

Note: There is the 'far right', but there are only left-wing Democrats. No 'far left'. So I guess no one was there to represent Kamala, Bernie, and Antifa/BLM? Or is that considered just basic left-wing now?

Temujin said...

"Toobin was playing the courts."

Masturbating. How appropriate.

bozonomous said...

If Toobin went to Harvard. They are correct. It is too easy for white males to get degrees there.

Curious George said...

"Yancey Ward said...
He took it out."

Yes siree Bob!

Bob Boyd said...

Toobin was playing the courts.

"Banging the gavel" is the best part.

Paco Wové said...

They were all masturbating, just in different ways.

DanTheMan said...

>>When will foreigners stop interfering in our erections?

That's the question in Japan.

J. D. Canals said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NblRUTp60WI
Oh, no! Daniel turn your camera off!

Skipper said...

This was a setup to distract from the Biden scandal story.

Rhonda said...

Will this be the one time we won't hear about Republicans pouncing?

robother said...

Just spitballing here, but what if Toobin was merely cosplaying his role as SCOTUS, trying to apply the Potter Stewart test for obscenity? (Unlike Sandra Day OConner's multi-pronged tests, Stewart had a one prong test.)

Tina Trent said...

This is one of the least offensive things I've ever heard of Toobin doing.

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