June 6, 2019

"A 'wife guy' is not just a husband. He is a man who has risen to prominence online by posting content about his wife...."

"A man posting about his wife on the internet is usually banal, so it is almost impressive when he has managed to make it appear, instead, ludicrous. The wife guy defines himself through a kind of overreaction to being married. His wife hurt herself, and he filmed it. He is sexually attracted to his wife, and he talks about it as if he were some kind of hero. The wife guy is a mutation of the 'Instagram husband,' the man who exists to take flattering photos of his wife, except that the wife guy is no longer content behind the scenes. He is crafting a whole persona around being that guy. He married a woman, and now that is his personality.... The wife guy... exhibits a heady combination of privilege and desperation. In this way, he feels related to the incel (short for 'involuntary celibate'), the guy who has crafted a whole online persona around his nonexistent sex life. But where the incel acts entitled to a relationship with a woman, the wife guy seems to expect to be congratulated for entering into one, sometimes with literal rewards.... The wife guy is interesting precisely because he heightens the many contrasts of modern hetero masculinity. Although getting married is increasingly associated with adulthood, the wife guy acts like a child. Though heterosexual marriage is a more traditional choice than ever, he postures as if it is a progressive triumph...."

From "The Age of the Internet ‘Wife Guy’/He’s not just a husband. The wife guy married a woman, and now that is his personality — perhaps even his job" by Amanda Hess (NYT).

Here's an example of a "wife guy." This is embedded in the article, but I know you can't all get through the pay wall. I'm putting this here for your convenience, not because I was amused or found it particularly interesting. Meade watched it and said it's "well done":

62 comments:

pious agnostic said...

Among on-line personas, this isn't that awful. Certainly better than the 'feminist bitch' or 'God-bothering prude.'

Paco Wové said...

"Amanda Hess" is one of those alarm-bell names, like "Jessica Valenti" or "Amanda Marcotte". A dumpster fire is sure to be forthcoming.

Jim Gust said...

thank you for reading the NYTimes so I don't have to. a wonderful service.

Quaestor said...

Though heterosexual marriage is a more traditional choice than ever, he postures as if it is a progressive triumph...

What's with these people called Hess? Does airheaded philosophy run in their genome?

Rob said...

Till now I've been unsympathetic to calls to regulate YouTube's content, but "Chubby Sexy" may have changed my mind.

Big Mike said...

@Althouse, please write the following on the white board 500 times: “Just because the New York Times claims that something is a thing or a trend or whatever, does not mean it really is a thing or a trend or anything.” Five hundred times. Get started.

rcocean said...

So men are treating their wives badly again. And someone in the NYT is complaining about it - again. I assume women lap this up.

rcocean said...

Seriously, 80% of all internet/MSM talk about marriage and male-female relationships is women bitching about how women have it so bad, and how men are so awful.

I'd suggest American women just go celibate.

rcocean said...

OK so I just saw the video and the whole post is supposed to be about fat chicks and guys singing at the beach. Ignore my previous comments.

Rory said...

Can I still rise to prominence by posting content about my dog?

Michael K said...

Made it for 30 seconds. Big ick factor there.

Narr said...

I couldn't click. No no no.

Narr
Listen to Big Mike

Bay Area Guy said...

3 Quick points:

1. The NYT must be hurtin' for real news post-Mueller Report.

2. The fat chicks in the video would simply look better if they lost a few pounds.

3. My wife has explicitly told me not to become a Wife-Guy.

richlb said...

"2. The fat chicks in the video would simply look better if they lost a few pounds."

Or if they selected some more girth-appropriate swimwear.

libertariansafetyguy said...

If I became a wife-guy, I’d be a no wife-guy very quickly - assuming she didn’t just shoot me.

Mike said...

Every article I see about Curvy Wife Guy seems surprised and usually dismayed that he's fine with himself and not roiling in a nightmare of guilt and shame. You can almost hear them saying, "We shamed you! You have been shamed! Why do you refuse to be ashamed!" I don't care about the guy one way or the other. He crosses me as dopey but harmless. I just roll my eyes and move on. But it is fun to see the someone blissfully unaware of how "problematic" he's supposed to be. And revealing about the fundamental cruelty of internet mobs to see how much this bothers people.

Bay Area Guy said...

Fat is the new not-Fat!

Howard said...

As we said back in the day, Roll them in flour and aim for the wet spot

Henry said...

That's a lot of words to be bored with.

BarrySanders20 said...

I am trying to "heighten one of the many contrasts of modern hetero masculinity" with a ludicrous overreaction to marriage while "exhibiting a heady combination of privilege and desperation" resulting in childish actions.

Does it count that I woke with a chub this morning (hetero and desperate) seeking sexual favors (masculine and heroic) from my attractive and loving partner of these many years, who, though willing, advised it was not a good time of the month, but instead of pouting (childish) I suggested an alternative that would be very satisfactory (thereby exhibiting my deep privilege), and, having obtained enthusiastic consent (a progressive triumph), proceeded to enjoy the early morning tryst and then promptly fell asleep for 2 hours?

Big Mike said...

2. The fat chicks in the video would simply look better if they lost a few pounds.

@Bay Area Guy, they would look better to you. The husband has a say.

Henry said...

Ms. Hess should post a classified: Desperately Seeking Material.

Without wife-guy what would she write about?

Darrell said...

Something tells me that Amanda Hess (NYT)is full of shit.

Henry said...

"A columnist writing about something on the internet is usually banal, so it is almost impressive when she has managed to make it, instead, ludicrous.

JaimeRoberto said...

That's not chubby. That's not curvy. That's just fat.

Fernandistein said...

So a "wife-guy" is like Bill Clinton or Pete Buttiege ?

tcrosse said...

Uxorious is a useful word.

Achilles said...

God people that read the NYT's must be stupid tools.

This is a stupid article for stupid people.

People in this country are too far removed from the barbarity and unpleasantness that gave them the space and freedom to have lives so meaningless they have time for things like writing and reading this article.

"A wife guy is not embarrassing because he is overly devoted to his wife, the sexist idea that used to be called “being whipped” and is now more fashionably referred to as “being a cuck.”"

Pathetic publication. Pathetic audience.

BleachBit-and-Hammers said...

I didn't mid the fat ladies, I did mind the headache-inducing repetitive mew-sick.

Joanne Jacobs said...

Years ago, I met a woman who'd been the "trend reporter" for a major metropolitan newspaper. She'd been assigned to do two trend stories a week.

"Are there that many trends?" I asked.

"No," she said. But if your job relies on coming up with two trends a week, you come up with something. (And your boss doesn't care if it's nonsense.)

She was delighted to leave the beat and do real stories.

Yancey Ward said...

Thanks, tcrosse! I learned a new word!

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

So the take away is "Hate Toxic Masculinity(TM) and also hate Not Toxic Masculinity(TM)".

Got it!

madAsHell said...

I remember when Frank Marshall Davis would take pictures of Ann Dunham's pussy, and then send them to magazines for money. He was a wife-guy.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

and when they get 'gender-reassignment' surgery

...will trans-fat be ok again?

wholelottasplainin' said...

Here's the epitome of Beautiful Fat Female:

https://tinyurl.com/y6tjycx6

I'm sure millions of guys will beat off to it.

So hot!!!

wholelottasplainin' said...

I'm told by reliable sources that when you lift up all those folds and crevices, roaches come scurrying out.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

why does "Moby" still come to mind ??--

and after their bitter divorce, these guys can be like Ahab

Nobody said...

Uxorious is a useful word

I once won a game with that word, made the guy I beat mad for using a word he never heard of, and got a huge laugh from the room when I defined it.

Nobody said...

Remember that it’s not cool to mock fat chicks. If you guys have a need to mock somebody, use the incels. That’s what they are there for!

Birches said...

That woman in the red bathing suit should not be wearing that. It looks gross. Why do fat women think they're entitled to wear the same fashions as skinny women? Bigger ladies can look good, even in a swimsuit, but recognize your limits.

Narr said...

Still haven't clicked. Somebody tell me when they've gone away.

Narr
The horror! The horror!

Bay Area Guy said...

I think these dancing ladies prove that even the phrase "more cushion for the pushin'" has well-needed limitations.

Birches said...

I'm no where near 200lbs and wouldn't wear that swimsuit.

Big Mike said...

Dog-gone you Althouse! I clicked on the video, clicked off quickly, but now I am getting ads for plus size swim suits. Thanks heaps!

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

so... what's the progression?
healthy shame->denial->excuses->victimhood->'fattitude'->celebration!
--->mainstreaming--->protecting

it's unhealthy--everyone is wired to recognize health

Meade said...

MyFatWife Guy should team up with MyPillow Guy. Surrealistic Cushion!

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

and now, with all the tattoos,
'above the fold'
doesnt just mean newspapers


Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

back in Colonial days, being a "Wife-guy' meant you were a smart-aff.

DavidUW97 said...

There is no trend small enough that escapes the Times’ all seeing eyes.

wwww said...

He's dancing with 3 women. How is that a "wife" guy? This reminds me more of Sir Mix a Lot "baby got back" I like big buts and I can not lie"

I'm tired of magazines
Saying flat buts are the thing

I like 'em round and big
and when I'm throwing a gig

I ain't talking about Playboy
Because Silicone parts are made for toys

wholelottasplainin' said...

Bay Area Guy said...
I think these dancing ladies prove that even the phrase "more cushion for the pushin'" has well-needed limitations.
^^^^
Yes! The phrase I remember from my ill-spent youth was, "It's like dropping a hot dog into the Grand Canyon".

walter said...

sarah tripp
‏ @sarahktripp
Apr 21

so incredibly excited to welcome Baby Tripp into our family in October!

eddie willers said...

I can't take rap, not even for a funny video.

I made it about 2 seconds before clicking out.

walter said...

Also..the hubby is a marathon runner.
He's..all in.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

@walter

coudnt blame the guy if he's into prawn.

the wife-- she's definitely into plankton

Fen said...

"Amanda Hess" is one of those alarm-bell names, like "Jessica Valenti" or "Amanda Marcotte". A dumpster fire is sure to be forthcoming.

Yup. I'll wager she just made all this up.

"The Feminist Shrew is a variant of Derangement Syndrome (see: TDS). She dedicates her life to tearing down men out of revenge for not being born with a penis. Secretly, she longs to be tied down and ravaged by several alpha males and told what a worthless slut she really is."

See? Easy. This was just another article about the Valenti Crowd being pissy about men.

stlcdr said...

This is the NYT? Is that now a trashy rag found at the checkout isle of Walmart?

Nobody said...

Even “Baby Got Back” talks about an “itty bitty waist."

Nichevo said...

the wife-- she's definitely into plankton

You mean, as opposed to sperm?


Secretly, she longs to be tied down and ravaged by several alpha males and told what a worthless slut she really is.

With a real alpha, all you need is one.

MadisonMan said...

Wouldn't want to sit next to any of these women on a plane.

Skippy Tisdale said...

A picture I have never seen and neither has anyone else:

Soldiers are liberating a WWII concentration camp and in the camp all of the people are as skinny as skeletons with the exception of one really obese woman.

Calories have consequences.

Doug said...

Howard said...
As we said back in the day, Roll them in flour and aim for the wet spot


Slap her on the ass and ride the wave in.