Okay, so here's the idea I had while absorbing nitrous oxide and waiting for the novocaine to kick in just before my dentist extracted my upper left wisdom tooth. The topic of discussion was whether some people wanted to take their tooth with them, and I heard that some people want it because there's a gold crown. They want their gold. What, do they take it to some dealer for cash? It was mentioned that the tooth has the person's DNA. So I was picturing some gold dealer's shop with a store of gold-capped teeth, discovered 100 years in the future, when cloning human beings is a viable enterprise. They make new humans with the DNA of the people who wanted their extracted tooth and the cash value of whatever gold goes into a tooth crown. The thing is: This is a set of people made from the DNA of people who would take the old tooth because of the gold and go to a dealer to turn that gold into cash. A disparate group, but with one very specific thing in common. What sort of people emerge from that DNA? My drug-infused guess: Very annoying people.
ADDED: Meade suggested the title, "Children of the Tooth."
ALSO: I was afraid to get the tooth pulled, and I'd just gone through 2 cataract surgery experiences without feeling any fear at all. You might think a person would be much more sensitive about laser destruction of an internal part of the eye and a cut into the eye to insert a new part, but I talked about this with the dentist, and I think the answer is that we are very tuned in to feelings in the mouth. We have the daily pleasures of eating and drinking. I didn't talk about this with the dentist, but why is kissing so important? Our mouth has a heightened sense of touch. Our eyes are extremely important sense organs, but the sense is sight, and we don't use them for the sense of touch. We mostly don't want to feel anything in our eyes. We care about any irritants, even tiny irritants, but the ideal condition of the eye is to feel nothing.
I actually had a fantastically good experience with this tooth extraction. I want to say it was fun... even the sound effects, which might have been nauseatingly gruesome without the nitrous oxide. The tearing sound was... ludicrous!
April 1, 2019
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Sounds like a Kurt Vonnegut subplot.
When I had my wisdom teeth out I asked to have them, and I gave my reason as that I didn't want anyone using them for voodoo. That made the nurse check the nitrous oxide feed. But I had them.
I am nervous about general anesthetic so I didn't have it. Having my wisdom teeth out was very unpleasant but I wouldn't describe it as painful. Something like what a hooked fish experiences I imagine. Drove myself home.
Toothteller vs soothsayer.
If you have a little bleeding, bite on a wet tea bag for a while.
Forty years ago, I had a cavity on the back of a front tooth. The last two decades, I thought the tooth was wearing down to the gray filling, but I finally realized the filling color was spreading through the tooth. If gold did that, you'd look like a smoker.
My wisdom teeth came in a year after my braces came off and ruined everything.
"Children of the Crown" may not, technically, be accurate, but it is a much better title.
Some alternative titles
Nature breed in tooth and claw
The tooth fairies
Long in the tooth
I lost my wisdom teeth in my college years, back when I was a liberal. Coincidence?
I once had a gold filling fall out of a tooth. Cleaned it up and sold it to a jeweler for maybe $75. Why not? No point in keeping it and why throw it in the trash.
Actually, that would be a great plot for a Sci-Fi short story/book.
To expand on your idea: In the future, people have had some major genetic changes that are NOT good. Caused by pollution, environmental, sun cosmic rays or just plain Idiocracy Looking for a way to reverse those changes and make humanity viable again....the teeth DNA. Then the people who emerge can be a very interesting plot development to be manipulated at the author's will ;-)
I am nervous about general anesthetic so I didn't have it.
I had it 3 times for oral surgery (4 teeth each time) before I turned 19. Waking up was pretty awful, esp. at 10 y.o., but glad I missed it. Modern colonoscopy drugs are much better.
The tooth will out.
I had 4 wisdom teeth pulled all at once, long time ago. The teeth didn't want to go, they wanted to stay where they were, but the dentist wasn't fucking around. He had his knee on my chest and both hands on his pliers. He didn't offer the gas, just big load of Novocaine. Bottom left tooth was lying on it's side down in the gum so he couldn't get a grip on it with his pliers. He had to break that one up with the dental equivalent of a hammer and chisel, then dig out the pieces. Not a pleasant afternoon. I don't remember what happened to the teeth.
"Molar Vortex"
One of the things in my parents' safe deposit box was a gold-capped tooth from some long-dead relative. I have no idea who. I took it to the Gold/Coin dealer on University in Middleton and got $50 or something like that for it.
I'm kinda curious who removed the tooth in the first place, and when it happened, but the people who could tell me are dead.
"The Man with the Goldless Gums"
Ghost Town (2008) is great; has a colonoscopy general anaesthetic and a dental nitrous oxide anaesthetic.
Ahhhh....
Sweeet, Sweeeet, Niiittttrrouus Oxidididide.
At the end of a routine exam, the dentist said I should have a wisdom tooth removed. It was done right then (after the novocaine took effect). I felt nothing and remarked to the dentist that the tooth looked like a tiny shrimp. It was only the next day that the pain began.
All I can think of is the effort spent to extract a cubic meter of dirt to get as much gold as in the tooth. The DNA may be more valuable, but in the future, not now. And the tooth seems a difficult way to obtain the DNA.
I also recognize losing one tooth partially degrades the senses related to eating, drinking, and kissing; while losing one eye not only cuts vision by 50% but eliminates depth perception and decreases field of view significantly that simple activities will become much more complex. I have a brother in law with one glass eye and very limited sight in the other. He functions well in society, but I think he rather have the other eye and a missing tooth.
I hope you feel better. Get well!
Sir Humphry Davy, a noted British chemist, was an early proponent of nitrous oxide and nearly died of its effects. He led a craze which swept the upper classes of London at the turn of the 19th century. He was sort of the Owsley of N2O.
Read more
"Longing In The Tooth"
The tearing was... ludicrous!
The location of the eustachian tube probably amplifies the sound.
A disparate group, but with one very specific thing in common. What sort of people emerge from that DNA?
Crazy Dutch bastards who have suffered an unfortunate 'schmelting' accident?
Do you lose wisdom when you get your wisdom teeth removed? Is that the real reason the tooth fairy wants your teeth? Is the dollar she leaves behind just compensation for the dumbing down of America by the loss of so much wisdom? The Nazis removed gold teeth from their victims. Is the tooth fairy a Nazi disguised as a grandmother? Is Trump's presidency a result of this loss of intellect? Is there a wise nonpartisan dentist who can explain?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dumbing_down
I was inhaling nitrous at the dentist's a long time ago and NPR starting talking about people who "freeze-dry their dead pets" and the tooth guy had to leave until I stopped laughing.
I'd have gone with "An Inconvenient Tooth."
That specific self-selection process is going on already with sperm banks. Think about the men who would choose that as a means of income. Actually, I don't think it necessarily selects bad qualities, but it may.
Beware the dreaded dry socket. In Wisconsin in the 1960s and 1970s, it was extremely common for middle-class on up parents to take their teenagers to the dentist to get their wisdom teeth removed. It was just something that everyone did, like getting your driver's license. Had nothing to do with a perceived necessity.
I didn't get mine taken out until I was in my 20s, and that was unusual.
...the ideal condition of the eye is to feel nothing.
Eyes are libertarians.
I had mine out when I was young, sometime between 15-18. The reason given was I had three, and of the pair that were matched, one was impacted. So all they would do is rot, especially since I wasn't good about brushing and they didn't have the sealants like now (my two kids, in total, have maybe one cavity, whereas I have too many to count).
It was also my sole encounter with valium. I knew it was working well when the dentist told me "I can't pull it out. I'll have to break it and pull out the pieces," and I was like "wow, great, hammer away."
He got all the pieces out but one and I had to go back and have him finish the job.
But it worked and was good. Three decades later, my teeth have fine gaps that make it easy to floss and I'm much better about my hygiene.
And let me second rhhardin about "Ghost Town." We saw it again on Friday, and it's a charming, thoughtful comedy. It was interesting to me (since I'm polishing a romance novella now) to see how a woman can be shown dumping a partner who is a good man, and not be seen as making a mistake. It's easy to write a romance in which the woman dumps a bad guy, or a guy she discovers is cheating on her; but what about a guy with whom she felt comfortable enough to date, but decides to drop him for another? Especially Ricky Gervaise?
The secret: He makes her laugh.
They probably would never cut anything away. The tops of carrots - they have to go into soup; potato skins, they have to go into soup; bacon grease, it has to go into the soup. They'd go around to storage unit auctions and when they were older they'd be hoarders. There would be no landfill problem because there would be no garbage. Also there would be no war as we know it because after each artillery salvo everyone would scurry around picking up shell casings. So war would take days to finish the opening round of battle. But then one day the mutants would move their position instead of picking up shell casings and so they would win and so normal humanity would be restored by Darwinian selection.
I have a dental phobia - takes a valium and nitrous oxide just to get me in the chair for a cleaning. When I need actual work done (i.e. filling), I get what they call "conscious sedation", a little different than general anesthetic. I can still respond to requests ("bite," "spit," "turn your head," etc.), but I don't care about anything and I don't remember any of it when it's over. I didn't go to the dentist for well over a decade because of this phobia, but now I almost look forward to it, as there's no anxiety beforehand and I'm generally very relaxed afterwards.
Bob Boyd: I had 4 wisdom teeth pulled all at once, long time ago. The teeth didn't want to go, they wanted to stay where they were, but the dentist wasn't fucking around. He had his knee on my chest and both hands on his pliers.
I had all four wisdom teeth out at once, but it wasn't all that long ago. My teeth also weren't willing to go - my dentist couldn't get them out. She made an emergency appointment with an oral surgeon and drove me there herself. I remember none of it, thanks to the sedation.
I just got my first wisdom tooth removed about a month ago, and only because it broke. I opted for doing it awake, becuase it was not confirmed that my insurance would pay the extra $400. I'm not into wasting money. It took the dentist a little work, but it was painless and only took about 2 minutes.
Back in the 70's I worked as a group therapist/attendant on a locked psych unit for adolescents and young adults - where NO meds were given - it was all group therapy and private sessions with psychiatrists. One time a patient got an injury to his mouth, and it seemed to have an outsized effect on him. His shrink explained it to us by what you're getting at with "daily pleasures of eating and drinking". In Freudian terms - oral is primal.
My 19 year old son had all four wisdom teeth removed over winter break in December. Reminded me of reading stories like these:
https://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/skip-that-surgery-most-wisdom-tooth-extractions-unnecessary/
I had mine removed in my early 20s, no symptoms, but my dentist suggested their removal. Were you having problems? Any wisdom left? Ha.
A popular genre of home video is recording the ravings of a teenager on the drive home from the wisdom tooth extraction, when the drugs haven't worn off. It's a fine memento to savor later in life.
When I was 26, my dentist recommended removal of all four wisdom teeth. After two, I decided that was enough of this. Today, at age 79, I still have one of the two I declined to remove. The other of the two was removed only a year ago.
Sort of like tonsils removal, braces and so forth. These are easy revenue items for dentists and doctors.
Cataract implants are another easy revenue item but doubt if many people go for this unless it's truly needed.
I had all four wisdom teeth removed a few years ago; I haven't had a pure thought since.
I had all four of my wisdom teeth removed when a young teen. They were all impacted and pushing sideways on the roots of the adjacent molars. They were never going to erupt/come up and be functional teeth and would actually damage the roots of the other teeth.
It was pretty awful. They had to do actual surgery and dig the sideways teeth out of the bones. We did one side, top and bottom and then a month later, the second side. Fortunately it was all done under general anesthetics and all I remember of the surgery was waking up in pain and barfing.
The perfect way to end to the PC "that's not funny" attacks. Laughing gas by a comedian/dentist. Suddenly everything's funny again.
I didn't have any pain or nausea after mine. I don't know if that says something about me, or if it's just a difference between the conscious sedation and normal anesthesia. Maybe a bit of both.
I did have a weird moment a couple of days later when I was rinsing my mouth and had water squirt through a tiny hole in one of the sockets up into my nasal cavity. It wasn't painful, but it sure felt weird. Oral surgeon said it was normal for that hole to be there and it would close up as it healed. It did.
I just had my last two out and I opted for general anesthesia. Outside of 24 hours of grogginess, I had no problem. I was glad I did as I was anxious--the last two came out with novocaine which didn't work too well.
I like your book idea. I hope you run with it.
I made the mistake of having three wisdom teeth extracted in the same session. I'm generally speaking pretty much a horse when it comes to the dentist, so I skipped the nitrous.
So the surgeon shot me up with 5 or 6 tubes of xylocaine and waited until things got numb. The first two weren't too bad, but the third was thoroughly impacted. I told him I was starting to feel what he was up to, so he gave me another 5 or 6 tubes of xylocaine and eventually got the thing out after taking his Skilsaw to my jaw.
The fun part was when I tried to stand up. I'd absorbed so much local anesthetic that I had insufficient blood pressure to sit up straight, much less walk. I had to call my wife to collect me and drive me home. Before leaving, she gave the surgeon a ration of shit for almost killing her husband (she's a nurse, they're not intimidated by a white coat).
OTOH, there was no bleeding or swelling, so I can't complain.
I love nitrous oxide, by the way. It would be nice if you could get it in Scott Air Packs like the firemen use.
I wish I had some right now.
Or, the clippings kept by a podiatrist cloned into Children of the Corns.
"The Crowd of Wisdoms"
"The tearing sound was... ludicrous! "
I can still remember the sensation, as the dentist wrenched my wisdom teeth out, of all the little collagen fibers that anchor the roots in place snapping one by one – poppoppoppoppoppop!. Under nitrous, it was fascinating (and hilarious).
When I was in my thirties I had all four wisdom teeth out. Before the operation my best friend at work described in detail how an acquaintance of his had hemorrhaged and died in the dentist's chair during a similar procedure. What a great friend.
had water squirt through a tiny hole in one of the sockets up into my nasal cavity.
At 28, I moved next to a big white pine and had my first spring allergies. It felt like my upper molars were being pushed out of my jaw for weeks. I actually went to the dentist. Later allergy seasons were just a months-long headache.
If I had a gold crowned tooth being removed, I would want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth!!
"I just had my last two out and I opted for general anesthesia."
I'm glad I didn't do that. I liked being able to go to my regular dentist (instead of an oral surgeon), and I actually found the whole thing an interesting experience. The dentist talked me through the whole thing wonderfully. It's really great to encounter competence. I had that with my eye surgeon too. When you need something, you have to rely on people, even if they aren't that good. When they turn out to be great, it's such a fine experience.
Nitrous Oxide reminds me of "Blue Velvet" and Dennis Hopper.
What about "Children of the Corn in the Teeth?"
I had all five of my wisdom teeth taken out when I was in my mid twenties. Although there were no crowns or anything of value, I asked the dentist to save them for me, which he did. I remember him rinsing off the blood and tissue from them with alcohol.
I've still got them in a box in the headboard. They look like mastodon teeth! They're huge!
I had four pre-molars pulled when I was 12 years old in preparation for the placement of braces- my mouth just didn't have room for all my teeth and they were badly aligned. That was done with nitrous and local anesthetic. It was a weird experience at the time- I do remember distinctly the pulling and pressure, and was completely unconcerned with it at the time. The guy doing the procedure let me examine the teeth afterwards- they were in a tray next the chair as I was coming down from the nitrous- I think he even offered to put them in a specimen jar if I wanted them, but I didn't. A year after the braces came off at age 15, I had the wisdom teeth surgically removed under general anesthesia.
For Mark O: Candy Colored Clown
I have spent about $3500 to keep a single tooth in my mouth. I'm sure eventually it will have to go. After a filling, a root canal, a crown, and two bone graft surgeries it is still in bad shape. I hate going to the dentist. I dislike taking painkillers, especially Vicodin (makes me dizzy and nauseous). For my last dental surgery they prescribed Xanax before the procedure, which was very helpful. It still hurt but I just didn't care. Highly recommended.
"The tearing sound" ***cringe****
Quick, everyone! Garner approval of your most outrageous over-the-top comments from Ann, while she is till under the influence of the nitrous.
For Inga and Pecan Pie Detective
Professor Althouse, a quick note on the seepage.
I had all four wisdom teeth out when I was 20 or so. I thought everything was fine, but that night I awoke with a mouthful of blood, some of which had seeped out onto the pillow. Scared the heck out of me, until I realized what it was. Got two wads of gauze, bit down on it, turned the pillow over and went back to sleep. Didn't have a wet teabag available.
Today I would be unlikely to get back to sleep all night.
Maybe they do the stitching better these days. My kids didn't have the same issue.
I have spent about $3500 to keep a single tooth in my mouth.
I can see how when you're down to your last one, you might get sentimental.
I garner that you are all on the same page.
For me, the most bothersome thing about the wisdom teeth removal was the inflammation of my face the 3 days afterwards- I looked like I had a basketball for a head.
He is Gummy Joe with Chomper.
Bob Boyd I still have all of my teeth LOL! That is why I have spent so much to keep that one which apparently wants to leave.
I've still got them in a box in the headboard
If you think you'll need them one day, shouldn't they be in the sideboard, closer to where you eat?
Reminds me of an old movie called The Boys From Brazil about an attempt to clone Hitler. In that movie, former Nazis hiding in South American after the war played the odds by cloning many Hitlers and trying to recreate the circumstances of Hitler's youth.
The movie takes place when the boys are 14. Apparently Hitler's father died when he was 14 so they are going around to all the adoptive families and killing the fathers (I don't know how they planned to recreate WWI). In the end, it didn't work anyway.
A caramel candy usurped my crown last year, fortunately the day before a scheduled dentist appointment. Terrifying to bite on something sharp. Unfortunately, the re-cemented crown cracked the tooth above it months later.
Phidippus said...
"..I love nitrous oxide, by the way. It would be nice if you could get it in Scott Air Packs like the firemen use.
I wish I had some right now."
There can be a serious downside:
Brain Dev. 2019 Jan 2.[Epub ahead of print]
Recreational nitrous oxide abuse related subacute combined degeneration of the spinal cord in adolescents - A case series and literature review.
BACKGROUND:
Nitrous oxide (N2O) is a commonly used inhaled anesthetic in outpatient dental procedures. However, the increasing recreational use of N2O may result in vitamin B12 deficiency-related neurologic and psychiatric symptoms. The aim of this study was to demonstrate the clinical features of chronic N2O abuse in pediatric patients.
RESULTS:
Nine patients were included, all of whom presented with symptoms of myeloneuropathy including limb numbness, limb weakness or unsteady gait. Six patients had low or low-normal vitamin B12 (cyanocobalamin) levels. Eight patients had evidence of subacute combined degeneration of the spinal cord via neuroimaging studies. All of the patients received vitamin B12 supplementation as treatment. All had full recovery of muscle power within 2 months. [But] Five patients had persistent sensory deficits.
CONCLUSION:
Chronic N2O abuse can cause permanent neurological damage if not treated promptly. Clinical staff should be aware of the various presentations of neurotoxicity related to N2O abuse.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30611595
The reference to the Boys from Brazil made me recall this:
Nazi angel of death Josef Mengele 'created twin town in Brazil'
The Tooth Ferry
Just last month, while the dentist was telling me I could sell my filling, I swallowed it. Good thing it went down the right pipe. Otherwise you go straight to the ER to remove it from your lung. The dentist looked very relieved.
My second year of college I woke up with throbbing in my jaw. I was scheduled to have dinner with my dad and when I didn’t eat he took me to the market to buy Tylenol for the pain. It didn’t get any better so I went to the dentist and found out I had three impacted wisdom teeth and one of those had abscessed. I remember sitting in the chair and crying while the dentist lanced my gums. He said with the infection the local wouldn’t work. Once the infection cleared up I had all four pulled while I slept.
I have video of my son higher than a kite after his wisdom teeth were pulled.
All I can think of in using the DNA of pulled teeth to clone the owner of said teeth is this: They are all going to be people with bad teeth. For some reason the whole idea makes me laugh. I keep seeing visions of the hillbilly with buck teeth. I wouldn't want to be one of the cloned.
Bob Boyd: I had 4 wisdom teeth pulled all at once, long time ago. The teeth didn't want to go, they wanted to stay where they were, but the dentist wasn't fucking around. He had his knee on my chest and both hands on his pliers.
Due to my bull headedness, and neglect. I didn't get my wisdom teeth taken out when my dentist recommended they go. 15 years latter and 3 dentist later (we moved alot) the Dentist said they had to go, because the molars in front of them were staring do rot because they couldn't clean between them and the wisdom teeth.
Went to an oral surgeon and they know how to charge. He did the wisdom teeth and the molars in front of them on the uppers. Lowers were a second trip. Took a matter of minutes and that was with a complication of a couple coming out in pieces.
I had a dentist appt two weeks later for a cleaning and asked if he couldn't just do the 4 on the bottom. He explained my recovery time is inversely proportional to the amount to time the extraction takes.
Next trip back the oral surgeon I timed him, 6 minutes and 20 seconds for four teeth on the bottom. And he had a knee on my chest. They were done about 3pm, and I took the next day off, and back to work the day after.
I'm thankful Althouse had a good experience.
Dentistry has improved leaps and bounds over the last 30-40 years
I inherited my moms bad teeth, she had full dentures before she was 50, and except for the 8 I had pulled, I still get a clean bill of dental health.
StephenFearby: Thank you sir for the good factual information. I suspected as much, which of course is why Scott doesn't make those kind of Air Packs.
Indeed, more than one dentist has expired in his chair, one evening, after indulging to excess.
I was just kidding, of course. Needless to say, I am many, many decades past adolescence, despite the 12-year old who still inhabits my head, and all the other hectoring voices reminding me of the stupid, thoughtless, or selfish things I did in the past. Would that some of those on the receiving end were still here so that I could apologize to them, alas.
No pleasure in this life comes without a cost, except perhaps just the pleasure of being alive, which is not nothing by any means, but doesn't last. So be it.
I still have all of my wisdom teeth, I don't know what that means, but they haven't given me any trouble. Perhaps I just have an extra big mouth LOL. The expensive tooth is a middle molar. When I go to the dentist they say I have "bone loss", I guess I won't understand the consequences of that until my jawbone totally disintegrates.
When I was in Germany I had really bad TMJ, I guess—I still had my wisdom teeth and my jaw would make an ear-splitting crack that would carry for miles in the cold winter air.
After I got to Texas the dentist extracted all my wisdom teeth—apparently, they were impacted, even though they weren’t causing me any pain—and the TMJ stopped bothering me.
Tank said...Just last month, while the dentist was telling me I could sell my filling, I swallowed it. Good thing it went down the right pipe.
--
And presumably came out the right chute. Had yer chance...
I had all four removed as a Freshman in college. I was taking German at the time and having a tough time with it. My folks drove me home and were highly amused by my almost exclusively in German chatter.
"Toothspawn"
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