March 9, 2019

"Brands do not see or hear, so they are at the mercy of their owners or care providers who must preserve the dignity and special character that the brand exemplifies."

"Managing a brand is not so different from caring for someone who becomes handicapped," said Nick Caporella, CEO of the company that makes LaCroix sparkling water, quoted in "This wild CEO statement from the maker of LaCroix is one of the most bizarre we’ve seen in a while" (CNBC). The company's profits are down 39%.

Also, from the press release: "We are truly sorry for these results stated above. Negligence nor mismanagement nor woeful acts of God were not the reasons – much of this was the result of injustice!"

Injustice!

"There is no greater passion than the kind that creates the wonderful refreshment and contentment described as unique! No doubt, the sound and personality of the word LaCroix, coupled with the awesome experience of its essence and taste. . . is unique. One can be induced to purchase by cheapening price or giving away a product, but falling in love with a feeling of joy is the result of contentment. Just ask any LaCroix consumer . . . Would you trade away that LaLa feeling? 'No way, they shout – We just love our LaCroix!'"

How weird is that? Maybe that's how we talk now. It's like a Trump tweet, no? This is the future. Get ready.

58 comments:

Meade said...

Too chewy. I eschew your lala water.

J. Farmer said...

Kind of reminds me Laurence Olivier's grandiloquent but mostly meaningless Oscar speech from 1979:

"In the great wealth, the great firmament of your nation's generosity, this particular choice may perhaps be found by future generations as a trifle eccentric, but the mere fact of it--the prodigal, pure, human kindness of it--must be seen as a beautiful star in that firmament which shines upon me at this moment, dazzling me a little, but filling me with warmth and the extraordinary elation, the euphoria that happens to so many of us at the first breath of the majestic glow of a new tomorrow."

Wtf?

David Begley said...

Stock tanked after that PR.

Menahem Globus said...

He sounds like a villain from Atlas Shrugged.

Wince said...

It's like a Trump tweet, no?

More like the next president who is a Democrat trying to Tweet like Trump in order to explain why socialist policies aren't working?

A woke, American Maduro using therapudic language before the people get restless.

gilbar said...

my doctor told me to stop drinking pepsi, and that i should (maybe) drink those LaCroix water things. I tried them, and found out that the weren't as expensive as sodas; they were MORE EXPENSIVE than sodas.... This encouraged me to Never buy them again.

For the price of a 8 pack of flavored water, i can buy 2 (or THREE!) boxes of decaf green tea (24 bags per box, 3 bags per kettle), which i can then refrigerate and drink.

i bet i'm not the only one that quickly got tired of buy premium prices for water.
If i'm not going to get the deliciousness of pepsi, leaf soup seeps the way to go

ga6 said...

Bong water???

Leland said...

I don't think a person taking personal responsibility talks that way.

Fernandinande said...

Would you trade away that LaLa feeling?

"Did you get that question from an article about how to make small talk?"

Phil 314 said...

Someone needs to clue him in that competitors are selling virtue at a lower price.

gg6 said...

"This is the future" Get ready." Why is this 'the Future' Althouse? It seems to me Gobbledygook has been around for a long time. And probably aways will be?

Ambrose said...

I can imagine lawyers, IR folks and others marking up the draft earnings release only to be told "Nick feels very strongly about the quote."

gg6 said...

No, it sounds nothing at all "like a Trump tweet". It DOES , however, sound like a deleted highlight of the New Green Deal.

Guildofcannonballs said...

I guarantee this gentleman dresses to impress, and did, which is why he is CEO.

QED and Q.E.D.

Enron suits and Obama dressed really, really well too.

tcrosse said...

Is it LaCroy or LaCwah?

J. Farmer said...

tcrosse:

Is it LaCroy or LaCwah?

Yet another problem with the brand. It really should be pronounced "la krah," but the company insists on pronouncing it "la croy." They even address this on their website with the helpful, "it rhymes with enjoy."

Lurker21 said...

Doesn't the overclass treat everyone and everything that way?

J. Farmer said...

@Guildofcanonballs:

Enron suits and Obama dressed really, really well too.

But did either of them have their own suit, shirt, and tie lie? Trump has a notorious dislike for sloppy dressers.

jaydub said...

Reminds me of a bottled water blind taste test that was conducted a few years ago. Included all the premium still water brands, plus some non-premium sources as well. IIRC the Walmart jug water won, a drinking fountain in a park in Harlem came in second and none of the expensive brands came in above 6th. IOW, bottled water is all about the marketing and the packaging and has little to do with the water itself. This CEO just made his brand a laughing stock, which is going to leave a mark.

Sebastian said...

"this was the result of injustice!"

Not much longer. Once we have collective ownership of the means of production, all that injustice will go away.

J. Farmer said...

@jaydub:

IOW, bottled water is all about the marketing and the packaging and has little to do with the water itself. This CEO just made his brand a laughing stock, which is going to leave a mark.

Agree with you completely about bottled water in general, but remember La Croix is a sparkling flavored water, so in a bit of a different category.

I love those Fiji water commercials: "Untouched by man; earth's finest water."

Penn & Teller also did a great send up of bottled water in their old Showtime program Bullshit. You can watch it here.

Mark said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mark said...

the sound and personality of the word LaCroix, coupled with the awesome experience of its essence and taste. . . is unique

The word LaCroix -- The Cross -- is certainly NOT unique. And neither is appropriation of that holy word for crass purposes -- a practice called sacrilege (and blasphemy given Who was on the Cross).

J. Farmer said...

@Mark:

And neither is appropriation of that holy word for crass purposes -- a practice called sacrilege (and blasphemy given Who was on the Cross.

I think that is a little overwrought. The cross as a mystical or religious symbol predates Christianity and exists outside of it. The name is basically a portmanteau of La Crosse (Wisconsin) and the St. Croix river.

Anonymous said...

get woke
go broke

anybody that writes an SEC filing or a letter to shareholders or a quarterly earnings telcon and uses the sorts of approach that these guys did, deserves a hard look from the SEC.

of course their basic business model is built on just marketing fizz + fun

Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...

How does LaCroix get the essence? I like some of the "flavors" but some are too odd and taste fake or perfume-ey.

I like the tangerine flavor. I mix it with Califia Farms Tangerine juice for the satisfaction of a cool fizzy juice drink. Not in public however, carbonation makes me burp uncontrollably.
Perhaps that why sales are down? *burp*

Mark said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mark said...

Nice try JF, but an instrument of torture and execution was not used as a religious symbol before Christianity. In fact, most folks thought the early Christians rather daft to do so.

It would be kind of like the NAACP or the BLA movement today adopting the noose as their symbol.

YoungHegelian said...

Hey, it's their Croix to bear.

J. Farmer said...

@Mark:

Nice try JF, but an instrument of torture and execution was not used as a religious symbol before Christianity. In fact, most folks thought the early Christians rather daft to do so.

People in Bronze Age Europe did not consider the cross to be "an instrument of torture and execution."

"In the bronze age we meet in different parts of Europe a more accurate representation of the cross, as conceived in Christian art, and in this shape it was soon widely diffused. This more precise characterization coincides with a corresponding general change in customs and beliefs. The cross is now met with, in various forms, on many objects: fibulas, cinctures, earthenware fragments, and on the bottom of drinking vessels. De Mortillet is of opinion that such use of the sign was not merely ornamental, but rather a symbol of consecration, especially in the case of objects pertaining to burial. In the proto-Etruscan cemetery of Golasecca every tomb has a vase with a cross engraved on it. True crosses of more or less artistic design have been found in Tiryns, at Mycenæ, in Crete, and on a fibula from Vulci."
-Archaeology of the Cross and Crucifix

Michael McNeil said...

The cross wasn't a common Christian symbol during the first half-millennium or so of the “Christian” era. Rather it was the fish, and the Chi-Rho (χρ) — the first two letters of the name of Christ (in Greek) superimposed.

Jay Vogt said...

Thankfully, he’s not yet threatening to deny us his essence. That’s when the real problems start.

Fernandinande said...

Penn & Teller also did a great send up of bottled water in their old Showtime program Bullshit. You can watch it here.

I liked those two people at the end, getting a good laugh at themselves.

It's the same psychology as with wine-tasting and fancy stereos: people mostly judge the content by the container and price.

mccullough said...

My advice is to lower the price of the product.

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...

I was delighted by the “injustice” comment. Are we sure he wasn’t just taking the piss? The beauty of SJW rhetoric is that it can be used for sarcasm and irony without archness or modification.

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

Why is this even news? It's not nearly as crazy as half of the stuff Elizabeth Holmes said and did when she was CEO of Theranos.

effinayright said...

I wonder when the SJWs will get "woke" to the fact that many of California's largest cities are named after Catholic saints??

San Francisco???? Santa Barbara?? San Luis Obispo? And...shudder....Sacramento????

Not to mention the nuclear sub Corpus Christi!!!!

Time to send them all down the memory hole!!

J. Farmer said...

wholelottasplainin':

I wonder when the SJWs will get "woke" to the fact that many of California's largest cities are named after Catholic saints??

They're in the Spanish language, though, and thus "diverse," therefore okay. Now once they figure out that Spaniards are white, we'll really be in trouble.

Bill Peschel said...

And yet people are influenced by labels. The Freakonomics guy, when he was a student at Yale (or Harvard) was in charge of supplying the wine at a faculty mixer. He bought plonk and rebottled them in the fancy bottles left over from the previous soire.

The faculty loved it just as much, but they didn't love it when they were told what they were drinking.

J. Farmer said...

@Fernandistein:

It's the same psychology as with wine-tasting and fancy stereos: people mostly judge the content by the container and price.

Yep. Patron's entire business strategy was to price themselves about 40% above average for tequila and then market themselves as a "luxury" brand.

Tomcc said...

There's nothing wrong with being an evangelist for your product, but you also need to be a manager. Mr. Caporella needs to spend more time as the latter.

Bob Boyd said...

I often put some LaCroix in my shopping cart and pretend the cart is a wheel chair as I push it around the store.
Sometimes I don't even buy anything. I go to the store just to push poor little LaCroix up and down the isles. He likes that and it makes me feel content and refreshed.
Then I go have a beer.

Tomcc said...

C*n*d* Dry flavored sparkling water. 2 liter bottle for $1; lasts me about 10 days. Starts out very fizzy, then kinda fizzy, then almost flat. Three varieties in one bottle!

Maillard Reactionary said...

"Maybe that's how we talk now."

What "we", Kemosabe?

h said...

I think some of this is from the bible, "There is no greater passion than the kind that creates the wonderful refreshment", and think another line is from the Federalist Papers, "Patriotism -- if only we could bottle it!" So don't be too harsh to criticize.

AlbertAnonymous said...

Injustice? Who is the CEO, Jussie Smullet? Weird statement for sure.

All the comments here reminded me of Lewis Black’s rant on water... Funny but NSFW

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2lv0a0

n.n said...

It's a social justice-influenced public relations and marketing scheme.

MayBee said...

I'm thinking English as a Second Language

Lydia said...

Caporella's 83 years old. Maybe a bit of dementia? At Vox:

"Reached for comment, a National Beverage Corp. spokesperson told Vox, 'You have to look [at that line] in its full context. Nick Caporella is a very caring person, and he’s not young. He works every day to make products and excite customers with the brand, and what he was saying is that the loving care one provides someone with special needs is what he does every day with the company'.”

Bill Peschel said...

The CEO is echoing Lord Thurlow: "Corporations have neither bodies to be punished, nor souls to be condemned; they therefore do as they like."

He was Lord Chancellor of Britain, 1778 to 1783.

Nowadays, we give them all sorts of rights, except to be convicted and jailed. Maybe we should rethink that.

Hah! I beat the Blogger error by saving my comment first! @$^@$# you, Google!

gilbar said...

Bill, doesn't it work for you to refresh screen? That works for me when Blogger chokes up

Anonymous said...

wholelottasplainin' said...
I wonder when the SJWs will get "woke" to the fact that many of California's largest cities are named after Catholic saints??


LOL

Los Angeles, San Diego, Santa Cruz, San Jose, San Bernadino

The guy who named many of those places is already an un-person because of slavery...

Father Junipero Serra



Unknown said...

Doesn't sound like Trump tweets

Too feminine and too many multisyllable words

stevew said...

"No doubt, the sound and personality of the word LaCroix, coupled with the awesome experience of its essence and taste. . . is unique. One can be induced to purchase by cheapening price or giving away a product, but falling in love with a feeling of joy is the result of contentment."

Nah bruh, they're just not that into you.

Henry said...

I kind of love this statement. For anyone in marketing, there is an element of the profound in Mr. Caporella's aria.

Henry said...

His insight into brand management should be required reading at HBS.

Bill Peschel said...

Gilbar: It never occurred to me to refresh screen, but I'll have to try that. Thanks! (It happened again in the Jeopardy thread, before I saw your note).

Mike (MJB Wolf) said...

This is brand mismanagement and signals the decline of LaCrois and possibly the whole barely flavored water category. As a marketing move this communication is suicidal. It dies nothing to highlight the features and benefits of LaCrois and completely ignores issue at hand, declining market share and a missed earnings statement. The people who read these statements aren’t impressed with woke gobbledygook and scour these things for reasons to buy, sell or hold LaCrois’ stock. In other words, he misunderstood his audience. Less kindly, he’s an idiot hoping wokespeak will create enough buzz to keep his brand alive. He’s in a crowded market (beverages) with huge competitors who are focused on customers’ shifting tastes for lighter “healthier” beverages. Either he doesn’t know why sakes are down or he’s afraid to say it. Either one is bad for investors. “Injustice” is a stupid thing to say. It is the opposite of true “marketing” in that it can only damage the brand and confuse the market.