February 18, 2019

"Local authorities in southern China are investigating a popular coconut milk brand for once again claiming the drink would enhance women’s breasts...."

Sixth Tone reports.
Coconut Palm...  has often attracted eyeballs and ire because of its sexist advertisements and provocative packaging claiming their coconut concoction makes women “curvier” and gives them “bigger breasts.”...

The drink’s latest advertisement has also angered its loyal consumers, with many calling it “obscene” and “tasteless.” The latest social media furor comes two years after Coconut Palm was attacked for a similar advertisement, which also claimed its product could enhance a woman’s cleavage and whiten her skin.
It makes some poetic sense — milk... coconuts....

It's basically the old doctrine of signatures, isn't it?
The doctrine of signatures, dating from the time of Dioscorides and Galen, states that herbs resembling various parts of the body can be used by herbalists to treat ailments of those body parts. A theological justification, as stated by botanists such as William Coles, was that God would have wanted to show men what plants would be useful for.... Plants bearing parts that resembled human body-parts, animals, or other objects were thought to have useful relevance to those parts, animals or objects. ..

For the late medieval viewer, the natural world was vibrant with images of the Deity: 'as above, so below,' a Hermetic principle expressed as the relationship between macrocosm and microcosm; the principle is rendered sicut in terra. Michel Foucault expressed the wider usage of the doctrine of signatures, which rendered allegory more real and more cogent than it appears to a modern eye:
"Up to the end of the sixteenth century, resemblance played a constructive role in the knowledge of Western culture. It was resemblance that largely guided exegesis and the interpretation of texts; it was resemblance that organized the play of symbols, made possible knowledge of things visible and invisible, and controlled the art of representing them."
Here's the Chinese ad. I wish I could embed it, because it made me laugh, but it's in Chinese and I can't figure out how to get the code. Screen shot (I think this is a "tweet" by someone who disapproves):



And here's the great Harry Nilsson song, "Coconut" ("Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take?")(According to the Genius lyrics annotation: "The etiology of the abdominal pain is unclear, but could be due to the lime and the coconut, both the cause and the cure of this odd episode.")

ADDED: Let's hear from Melania:

30 comments:

rhhardin said...

Coconut bras are common in cartoons of hula girls.

Amexpat said...

I can't remember what breast milk tastes like, but I imagine it to be similar to coconut milk.

Lucid-Ideas said...

I speak read and write Mandarin.

In short she's saying she approves. The subject of her tweet says, "Once every day makes a beautiful girl:)"

This isn't such a Western thing either. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) is fullnof this sort of thing

1) pig brains are good for the brain and post-brain surgery
2) lotus root is good for "female energy"
3) rhino horn and tiger penis are good for the bedroom
4) snake bile creates heat for sore throats and rheumatism

That said, as small and petite as chinese girls are, pretty much any additional calories would give them bigger breasts. No false advertising claim here!

Nonapod said...

The ads feature a young woman wearing a low-cut top, who says that drinking a glass of the beverage each day will help female consumers become pale, soft-skinned, and voluptuous.

Being pale is tradionally a sign of affluence in Asian cultures (since it implies you didn't work outdoors in the fields for long periods of time). Big boobies are indicative of a high capacity to nurse infants, but wouldn't traditional affluence imply someone could afford wet nurses? I would think the image of nobility might be of a paler, smaller breasted woman.

Fernandinande said...

Coconut bra

Coconut dreams

tim in vermont said...

The doctrine of signatures, dating from the time of Dioscorides and Galen, states that herbs resembling various parts of the body can be used by herbalists to treat ailments of those body parts.

Hence porn stars in the ‘50s used to eat celery because of its turgidity. Doc Mike once wrote that Mamie Eisenhower used to plead with Ike to stop eating celery and a surgeon who worked on him said is colon was full of celery fibers.

Fernandinande said...

2nd post there says:

"The first line is still the advertisement of the coconut tree brand coconut juice founded in 1956. I don’t know how many puns I have since I was drinking."

tim in vermont said...

I read a theory that the attraction of dominant males to big boobs is that a girl with big boobs can’t fake her age. Big boobs are in their prime in the most fertile years. I never understood it. I never even realized my first girlfriend had gigantic knockers until I reached around her back one time and copped my first feel.

Bob Boyd said...

I like coconuts
You can break them open
They smell like ladies lying in the sun
And if I had my way
I'd give a coconut to everyone - Coconut, Widespread Panic

Inga...Allie Oop said...

Watch the entire video, hilarious to those with a sense of humor.

Earnest Prole said...

Hey look, it’s the Governor of Michigan.

0_0 said...

"Fruity oaty bar
Makes a man out of a mouse
Fruity oaty bar
Makes you bust out of your blouse..."

Stranger than fiction.

bagoh20 said...

That is hilarious. My favorite one is of Sarah Sanders doing a presser.

Near the end of the full thing Pelosi is very enthusiastically clapping and smiling, and she winks in approval at Trump. What did he actually say that got that reaction from her?

YoungHegelian said...

Is it wrong of me to want to "probe" some "bigger breasts"?

I can imagine how the writer of that headline, whose native language is probably Chinese, was tone deaf to the language not having grown up with jokes like "DC Sex Scandal Subject of Extended Congressional Probe".

Wince said...

What happens when the answer to the question “Ginger or Mary Ann?” is “neither”?

Little known fact: the first sex robot was made of coconuts by the Professor on Gilligan’s Island.

buwaya said...

Coconut milk is good for you anyway!
(Speaking as one whose family business was, in various ways, in the main, connected with coconuts, perhaps I should recuse myself)

Its healthy stuff. Maybe this claim, er, stretches some things, but it does no harm.

rcocean said...

Chinese women are sexy, but if you're into big boobs - look elsewhere. The percentage of Chinese women with "flat chests" is significant.

reader said...

No Benny Hill "I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconut" references?

buwaya said...

On the subject of semi-Asian women who probably don't require much coconut milk -

Catriona Grey, Miss Universe 2018, is to receive the Manila equivalent of a ticker tape parade Feb 21, and, frankly, there will simply be no point driving anywhere that day. Yes they take this sort of thing very seriously over there, unseriously. Everyone loves a fiesta.

C. Grey looks a lot like a lot of girls I knew growing up. That is the classic mestiza look, if the genetic dice come up 11's. The only very unusual thing about her is her height. Her mother is a bit of distant connection of ours, being from my fathers province.

Darrell said...

Not an ointment or cream. Not a suction device. Not a system of pulleys and weights. But ALL THREE!!!!

Mike (MJB Wolf) said...

Truth is the bust defense they say. Try it and see. Round up Mead to handle the situation and award a cup if the coconut proves boobworthy. I trust him to give us the skinny and feel he won't inflate the numbers.

Maillard Reactionary said...

Wait until PETC (People for the Ethical Treatment of Cocunuts) hear about this!

Coconuts, forced to live on plantations, milked twice a day to satisfy human lust and greed! Sad.

Free the coconuts!

Yancey Ward said...

That ad is just wrong, it's sexist, and it is embarrassing. I am going to have to watch it again and again to educate myself about why it is wrong.

Daniel Jackson said...

Don't my Coconuts:

Doris you can take my Frosted Flakes,
Doris you can take my Shake and Bake


You can take my chocolate mouse
You can take my cous-cous

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtG1qOx7tqQ

Bruce Hayden said...

“I 3read a theory that the attraction of dominant males to big boobs is that a girl with big boobs can’t fake her age. Big boobs are in their prime in the most fertile years. I never understood it. I never even realized my first girlfriend had gigantic knockers until I reached around her back one time and copped my first feel.”

Had relations with two women with monster tits. The first was while I was in college, and they were like large melons. But the second, I was in my mid 40s, and she was about 40, after three kids. Didn’t realize what was going on there until I saw her in her nightgown, and her tits were down about her waist. Not the best thing for building a relationship. Never quite got the monster tit thing, but I definitely remember the looks and jibes if my fraternity bros when I tried to sneak the first one up to my room. Heard about if for months afterwards.



traditionalguy said...

Milk. That’s hilarious. And is she falls the Secret Service guys can carry her off two abreast.

Caligula said...

"Get with child a mandrake root ..." -- John Dunne

rcocean said...

Funny, I always thought the Lime-coconut guy was black.

mikee said...

If you seek a coconut song to go with the breast enhancement advert, I'd suggest "I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts" as sung by Benny Hill.

Big Mike said...

Would I be a dirty old man if I volunteered to check the women's bust sizes daily before and after drinking the coconut milk? Asking for a friend.