January 31, 2019

"Colleen McCann is a former fashion stylist who now offers a full array of shamanic services — crystals, sage-burning, energy-channeling..."

"... for a client base of music executives, admen, fashionistas, Wall Street titans and staffers for the lifestyle empire known as Goop (she’s its in-house shaman and crystals expert). One of her specific market niches: scrubbing bad energies from their wardrobes. It all started one night a decade ago, she says, when she was trying to get a 2 a.m. sandwich at a New York bodega. She was struck by a clairvoyant vision — a voice, really, that warned her of a fight that was about to occur over the price of the bananas. What followed was a long string of coincidences, strange encounters and psychic consultations, somehow culminating in her enrollment in shaman school."

From "The wellness revolution has reached its shamans-for-hire stage" (WaPo).

And doesn't it always go like that? It starts with a sandwich... and then visions of bananas....

49 comments:

Sam L. said...

And then, and then..., and THEN it gets really WEIRD, mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

Bay Area Guy said...

One of her specific market niches: scrubbing bad energies from their wardrobes.

Coulda been useful for Monica Lewinsky and the blue dress issues.....

Danno said...

I'm just mad about ...

Wince said...

According to The Rolling Stone Illustrated Encyclopedia of Rock and Roll, [Donovan] admitted later the song made reference to a vibrator; an "electrical banana" as mentioned in the lyrics. This definition was re-affirmed in an interview with NME magazine: "it's about being cool, laid-back, and also the electrical bananas that were appearing on the scene - which were ladies' vibrators."

Birkel said...

I am with The Crack Emcee on this one.

J. Farmer said...

Like in Victorian England, a dalliance with mysticism is common among the upper class. The Upper East Side and Beverly Hills are crawling with gurus who make a good living flattering narcissists and egomaniacs. Even Nancy Reagan employed an astrologer, very common behavior in Bel-Air.

glenn said...

Barnum was right.

gilbar said...

One of her specific market niches: scrubbing bad energies from their wardrobes.

so, did she intentionally name her company after the hand cleaner? 'cause that's some good stuff!
http://goophandcleaner.com/

Charlie Currie said...

Those who do not believe in God will believe in anything.

tcrosse said...

The Science is settled.

AZ Bob said...

"Donovan! Who's this Donovan?" joked Bob Dylan in Don't Look Back. Alan Price explains and added, "He's a better guitar player than you." To which Dylan replies, "Right away I hate him." It is difficult to tell what are Dylan's true feelings and motive. Watch the clip and decide for yourself. There is a nice, close up of Joan Baez after Dylan's snark.

madAsHell said...

I'm not sure there is a distinction between fashion stylist, and shamanic services. I'm guessing that as your female clientele get older, then they might be willing to pay more for chicken entrails over lipstick.

Mary Beth said...

There are shaman schools?

Darrell said...

2 AM sandwiches. Like Jussie at Subway in Chicago.
That will turn out to feature electric bananas or buttplugs, too.

chuck said...

Mathematics reached the shaman stage with Grothendieck: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Grothendieck

J. Farmer said...

@Mary Beth:

There are shaman schools?

The shaman is a huge trope within the New Age community. It tends to attract the same kind of people who are obsessed indigenous American, First Nation, and aborigine iconography and mythology. This inevitably includes a romanticized view of these people. See the 1992 jungle romcom Medicine Man starring Sean Connery and Lorraine Bracco for a particularly laughable example of this. There is also a huge cottage industry in bogus Shamans. They're referred to as "plastic shamans" and exist primarily to separate gullible white people from their money.

Darrell said...

There is also a huge cottage industry in bogus Shamans

As opposed to legitimate shamans and all they can do with their "powers."

Bob Boyd said...

Can she scrub optometrist-blood stains off of a pair of skis?

Henry said...

After a hard day of looting pension funds, what's a suit to do?

Call it the Wardrobe of Dorian Gray.

Henry said...

The Electric Kool-Aid Bonfire of the Vanities.

Be said...

Blues and Greens. Reds, Whites and Yellows. Byzantium all over again.

John henry said...

Ohhhhhh noooooo, must be the season of the witch!

I'd not listened to Mellow Yellow for a long long time. Perhaps since the 70's. I do have the album but havn't had a record player since then.

So I listened and was amazed at the second verse. "I'm just made about 14, she's just wild about me" etc

Sounds like a witch cast a spell. On the album it was "I'm just mad about 14 year old girls, they're just wild about me"

Checked the lyrics at MetroLyrics. Nope, nothing about 14 year old girls.

Took a while but I did find a concert performance from 1982 with the original lyrics.

Poor Donovan. Is nobody safe from political correctness?

John Henry

John henry said...

There is also a huge cottage industry in bogus Shamans.

J. Farmer,

What the hell is a bogus shaman?

Aren't all shamans bogus by their very nature?

John Henry

Maillard Reactionary said...

What is it with these whackjobs and crystals? Crystals, in many ways, are the easiest to understand forms of solid matter. You want something intractable? Try glass.

Of course, they aren't really solid, nor is anything else.

Regarding the earlier quote from Dylan about guitar skills, he must have hated a lot of people.

We won't even bring up the harmonica.

YoungHegelian said...

It would be so nice if genteel agnosticism was a societally stable outlook. But, sadly, that appears to not be the case.

There are days I miss the Inquisition.

'Cause, ya know, whatever were the problems with an auto-da-fe, it really wasn't about "feeling good about yerself".

Henry said...

The Saville Row Horror.

Henry said...

The Spandexorcist

J. Farmer said...

@johnhenry100:

What the hell is a bogus shaman?

Aren't all shamans bogus by their very nature?


Not necessarily. There is a similar phenomenon in Southeast Asia with bogus Buddhist monks. They wear fake monk garb, bang a bowl, and try to shake down tourists for donations. But there are indeed real monks who enroll at monasteries and live according to a certain set of religious precepts. Similarly, people that can accurately be described as shamans do exist and continue to play important roles in some traditional societies (e.g. Peru, Hmong, etc.).

YoungHegelian said...

@John Henry,

What the hell is a bogus shaman?

When it comes to shamans, always look for the union label.

Inga...Allie Oop said...

Hey Crack! Where are you when we need you?

Freeman Hunt said...

One of my favorite people is a shaman. We've never talked about it. I only know of her vocation because her shaman website is listed on her social media account. So if you need an extremely friendly and intelligent shaman, I know one, but I'd recommend Jesus.

Ann Althouse said...

The single just said “Mad about fourteen “ but the “Donovan in Concert” live album had “ fourteen year old girls.”

Ann Althouse said...

The studio album “Mellow Yellow” is the same as the single.

Darrell said...

Saffron Burrows was named after this song. I'm just mad about Saffron Burrows. Except for the Socialist part--but that's to be expected with a luvvie.

YoungHegelian said...

Later Donovan (e.g. around the time of "Rikki-Tikki-Tavi") was not as hippy-dippy & luvvy-duvvy as the earlier stuff. He took on an anarchist lefty edge, and, as befits his Scottish heritage, he had a mean anti-Catholic streak.

Darrell said...

but the “Donovan in Concert” live album had “ fourteen year old girls.”

I bet they were only thirteen when they learned how to nasty.

traditionalguy said...

Interesting point of view saying that shaman's rituals are the religion substitutes.Historically, the Christian Religion was the Worldwide Shaman's Religions forced replacement. When we threw Jesus Christ out, then the Shamans came back in. They are not the New Age. They are the Oldest Age of them all.

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

One of her specific market niches: scrubbing bad energies from their wardrobes.

Is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho? Hmmmm, no foolin!

Ken B said...

This is why I hate it when people diss the Middle Ages. There are more looney ideas now, with less excuse.

YoungHegelian said...

Ken B,

This is why I hate it when people diss the Middle Ages. There are more looney ideas now, with less excuse.

Middle Age dissers need to read this.

It'll make 'em shut their pie holes.

William said...

The placebo effect. Even if you have a bogus shaman as opposed to a rigorously trained one, you have a good chance of recovery. In fact, it would be my guess that the bogus shaman has a better success rate than the authentic one. The bogus shaman probably takes more trouble to be credible and convincing........A great deal of health and happiness is dependent on the placebo effect.

J. Farmer said...

@William:

The placebo effect. Even if you have a bogus shaman as opposed to a rigorously trained one, you have a good chance of recovery.

This is actually a misunderstanding of the placebo effect. Numerous factors can cause placebo effects, such as regression to the mean and the self-limiting nature of a lot of illnesses. The so called healing power of the placebo effect is largely a myth.

William said...

Robert Shmerling MD, of Harvard Medical School, claims that the placebo effect is real and measurable, but, of course, he would say that. Those shamans are all in it together.

J. Farmer said...

@William:

Robert Shmerling MD, of Harvard Medical School, claims that the placebo effect is real and measurable, but, of course, he would say that. Those shamans are all in it together.

Unsurprising. It was a Harvard anesthesiologist who first helped kick off the placebo effect craze back in the 1950s. About that study:

"In contrast to his claim, no evidence was found of any placebo effect in any of the studies cited by him. There were many other factors that could account for the reported improvements in patients in these trials, but most likely there was no placebo effect whatsoever. False impressions of placebo effects can be produced in various ways. Spontaneous improvement, fluctuation of symptoms, regression to the mean, additional treatment, conditional switching of placebo treatment, scaling bias, irrelevant response variables, answers of politeness, experimental subordination, conditioned answers, neurotic or psychotic misjudgment, psychosomatic phenomena, misquotation, etc. These factors are still prevalent in modern placebo literature. The placebo topic seems to invite sloppy methodological thinking. Therefore awareness of Beecher's mistakes and misinterpretations is essential for an appropriate interpretation of current placebo literature."
-The powerful placebo effect: fact or fiction?, Journal of Clinical Epidemiology

And from Evidence for placebo effects on physical but not on biochemical outcome parameters: a review of clinical trials:

"This approach was consequently followed by Hróbjartsson and Gøtzsche in their meta-analysis on clinical placebo effects. They analyzed 114 trials [4], and later an additional 44 trials [5,6], which contained both a placebo arm and a no-treatment control arm. Their analyses confirmed that the overall effect of placebo interventions, when compared with no intervention, is smaller than previously believed. They found a significant placebo effect only for subjective, patient-reported symptoms, most importantly pain. For observer-reported parameters, they did not find statistical evidence for a placebo effect. Slightly different predefinitions, however, do yield a small but significant placebo effect for observer-reported outcomes [7]."

Fernandinande said...

They found a significant placebo effect only for subjective, patient-reported symptoms, most importantly pain. For observer-reported parameters, they did not find statistical evidence for a placebo effect.

Well, that's the most common definition of "placebo". It's still an important effect because many symptoms and side effects are subjective and can't be measured directly: pain, nausea, dizziness, etc.

Fun fact! I know a Navajo shaman, he officiated a my Lpog's sister's wedding (in a hogan) and does peyote ceremonies, but he had a knee replacement at the white-man's hospital.

Greg P said...

Hey, look, it's "The Party of Science!(TM)"

Greg P said...

Fernandistein and William:

The placebo effect has been sold for a lot of things where it's just not valid, not just for subjective things like perceived pain (I know that when I take a pain pill, the pain-reducing effect will kick in pretty much immediately, which means the initial effect is not plausibly caused by the actual medicine).

Can it work for subjective issues? Yes!

Will it cure your disease, your cancer, your other measurable physical problems? No!

A "we're not doing anything for you" regime gets the same positive benefits as "we're doing a double-blind test".

Sad, bad apparently true.

Bill Peschel said...

Oh, for fuck's sake, this was going on back in the late '80s, when my first wife introduced me to crystal healing.

Is the author 27? Does he or she still use juiceboxes?

Anthony said...

Bananas. . . . . always causing fights.