October 31, 2018

How's your Halloween?

I just got my first doorbell ring. It was a little girl dressed as a fairy princess queen and a little boy dressed as a ceiling fan.

ADDED: I cry foul: 2 young women came by on some political mission. I normally avoid that sort of thing by not answering the door. "You're not trick-or-treating?" I said, adding, "Sorry, I'm making dinner."

AND: From the City of Madison Halloween tips: "Do not use toy weapons as part of any costume." I opened the door on at least one boy with a sword.

135 comments:

Big Mike said...

You should have taken a picture.

FIDO said...

Raining here. So I am expecting few beggars.

The attack dogs probably don't help either.

Leland said...

Only rain so far. A tornado touched down about 50 miles away, which is not a trick I'd want to receive.

Ann Althouse said...

Oh, I can't take a picture of other people's children and put it on the internet!

It's enough that I'm even describing them.

Laslo Spatula said...

"little boy dressed as a ceiling fan."

So was the fan at his head or at his feet?

Because if it was at his head I would think that would make him a floor fan.

Either way, I bet it was adorable.

We just have to wait a few years until he closes in on being a sullen teenager for him to come dressed as a chainsaw.

I am Laslo.

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...

The ceiling fan costume sounds like the work of a clever dad. And culturally unlikely to offend anyone. Maybe unemployed HVAC guys.

Molly said...

(eaglebeak)

They sound sweet. No one has showed up here yet, but I have the Reese's pieces all set up.

Jim at said...

I've never understood the appeal of giving away free food to strangers who come to my door uninvited.

Lights off. Nobody's home. Twenty years and counting.

Jim at said...

In addition, we have a very steep driveway. It's wet. Last thing I need is some kid taking a header ...

YoungHegelian said...

The onslaught has yet to begin here, which surprises me, since it's almost 6PM EDT & the first wave of really young tykes generally are out by now with a parent in tow. But, it's still quite light (I hear the roofers still at it two houses down), & it's a beautiful, clear, dry, & 64 degree day here in the DC area.

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...

"I've never understood the appeal of giving away free food to strangers who come to my door uninvited."

What about when you were a kid? Did you understand it every October 31st then?

rcocean said...

"Oh, I can't take a picture of other people's children and put it on the internet!"

You can if they have a mask on.

Churchy LaFemme: said...

Read some Bradbury tonight, or Zelazney's A Night In The Lonesome October.

Big Mike said...

I am still trying to imagine a boy dressed as s ceiling fan.

rhhardin said...

No handouts here since 2000. Nobody came in 2001 and I wound up with 80 Planters Jumbo Block candy bars. (Only hand out stuff you're willing to eat yourself.)

Armstrong and Getty claim to hand out steaming creamed corn.

PM said...

In San Francisco, every day is Halloween.

john burger said...

Ceiling fan. I like it.

jvb

Anthony said...

First Halloween in a new city. I don't think we'll have too many. I'm dressing as the Grim Reaper.

Achilles said...

I am supposed to turn my light on if I want people to knock.

I don't have any candy to give them. =(

I am here because I am running 50ish polynomial Support Vector Machine classifications with error values 2^X where X is in range 5 - 20.

They take longer as the errors double. I got a mean variance of 1.511... with C=2^15 on a 2 degree polynomial.

C=2^16 is 1.57 so it looks like that is at least a local minimum.

Breezy said...

No one here yet. Our walkway is under reconstruction so hubby made a small den of evil in the garage! Kids don’t know what they’re missing...

Tommy Duncan said...

Our Maltese dog just saved us from 2 zombies and a ghost. Close call. Thank goodness we have a 10 pound white fur ball to protect us.

Birkel said...

Are we back to assuming genders again?
I cannot keep up with the new rules.
What candy did you give Xim or Xer?

/StupidLeftists

Jim at said...

What about when you were a kid? Did you understand it every October 31st then?

Never dressed up and went out. That didn't appeal to me, either.

I get why some people do it. Isn't it wonderful not everybody does?

stevew said...

Hahaha, a ceiling fan! We've had princesses and mermaids, pirates and hobos. Our kids are long out of the house, it's fun to see the costumes and hand out too much candy.

Hint: be one of the last to visit our house and you'll get a candy windfall!

Arashi said...

Sadly, we will probably not get a single visit. We live on a five house culdesac that is up a hill, up a hill. And it is the Pacfic Northwet and it is raining.

I do have treats just in case, but will have to consume them myself over the next few weeks.

JaimeRoberto said...

We have a street nearby that goes all out for Halloween, and it pulls in kids like a magnet. We'll be lucking to have 10 rings tonight.

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...

I made out like a bandit as a child. Seldom less than a pillowcase absolutely stuffed. So I carry the flame as an adult as my karmic due. Like the decline of penmanship and an intolerance for vegans, dark houses on Halloween are just another indicator of our decaying culture and threadbare social fabric. Do it for the children.

john said...

Last year we put a bowl of candy on the front porch table and went out. Never knew if we had 1 kid or 36 that night.

This year I want to greet kids who come up to the house with a bunch of carrots in my hand. See if that affects the TrT population next year.

Anthony said...

Scroll down for ceiling fan.

Arashi said...

I think most of the folks around here all work for Microsft and such, and the companies do the Halloween Treat thing at work, so its dry and you don't have to worry (despite it actually being safer today than when I was a kid) about 'crazy people'.

O

Anthony said...

My best costume ever was a State Street Halloween where I put a paper bag over my head with "Member: Alcoholics Anonymous" on it.

Arashi said...

Anthony - those are great. LOL

Jim at said...

dark houses on Halloween are just another indicator of our decaying culture and threadbare social fabric.

We have seven houses on our (long) cul-de-sac. Not one will have a lit porch.
We hate kids. :)

tcrosse said...

One year I went as a Dangling Participle.

mockturtle said...

Didn't have any last year and ended up eating the unused candy. :-) This year I bought some sugar-free gum.

Temujin said...

The ceiling fan thing seems neutral enough. For now. They just haven't gotten to it yet.

Loved Halloween as a kid. Today in Chicago I saw groups of small kids, costumed and tied together as they were being led by an adult through a few blocks in the city. Pretty smile inducing.
Meanwhile, back home all the kids have grown up and left in my neighborhood. We don't get anyone anymore. Doesn't stop me from explaining to my wife why we still have to buy large bags of caramel-chocolatey things just in case the kids return to our world. You just never know when a ceiling fan will ring your doorbell.

Kyzer SoSay said...

My baby girl and wife are dressed as gnomes. They are at great-grandma's house with family. I am at home working. Dealing with critical employee turnover isn't fun.

mockturtle said...

One year I went as a Dangling Participle.

Were you arrested?

robother said...

A little girl dressed as Disney princess. One photo online of her wearing the wrong ethnicity princess costume, and there goes her whole life chances. We can't even predict what behaviors, masks, will be retroactively deemed triggering 15 years from now, best to leave no photographic evidence on the internet.

YoungHegelian said...

The junior set of the Mongol Horde has arrived. It is so warm I am sitting on the front porch in a director chair handing out candy.

Nancy said...

My husband and I borrowed this idea one year from a children's book ("The Stupids"). We encased ourselves in enormous white cartons, and he wore a tricorn hat and I wore a mob cap. We were George and Martha Washingmachine.

tcrosse said...

One year I went as a Dangling Participle.

Were you arrested?


Going as a Dangling Participle, the neighbors didn't press charges.

Big Mike said...

We had a branch office where they brought the kids around to trick or treat at the offices and cubicles. I was out there on a TDY assignment one Halloween and I had brought my favorite mask. It’s a really scary thing, with green glowing eyes and horns. One guy brought his young daughter around and she took one look at my face and she just freaked. But instead of retreating behind Daddy, she ran down the hall towards s door. Unfortunately for her the door had a cypherlock and wouldn’t open so the poor little thing was totally panicked until I closed my door and her Daddy rescued her.

Come to think of it most women panic and run screaming even when I’m not wearing a mask.

wild chicken said...

Huck Folloween.

Fernandinande said...

We're on a kid route. Next door neighbor said she gives out $70 of candy a year. So far only one lizard and his viviparous mom.

Fernandinande said...

I'm UNABOMB.

Big Mike said...

Families are teaming up so the little kids are coming in groups of ten or a dozen, with four or five adults back on the sidewalk. Gonna go through a lot of candy if this keeps up. One Mom brought a young one just out of toddler phase, with a baby in a carry pouch in front of her. The baby smiled when I put a small (snack size) Hershey bar in his hand.

You can sure tell we’ve retired to a blue collar area. All the kids said “Thank you.” Didn’t happen back when we lived in incandescent blue Fairfax County, and probably foedn’t In Madison, either.

Big Mike said...

doesn’t. Where’s autocorrect when you need it?

Jersey Fled said...

About 15 or 20 kids here this year, which is alot for us. Noticed the girls were mostly dressed up in girly costumes and the boys in boy stuff.

Somebody must have not gotten the word out.

Best costume was an Indian boy about 12 who was all done up as Frankenstein. No mask, just makeup. Even his hands. Really super good job.

The Asian kids around here are really overachievers.

Too bad they'll never get into Harvard.

YoungHegelian said...

My neighbor has smoke machine on his porch, which is a big hit with the kids, as long as it doesn't scare the shit out of them by going off next to them when they're coming up the stairs.

Most kids stand around oohhing & ahhhing, but over the years I've seen a couple of little ones run screaming in fear.

Henry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jersey Fled said...

Did notice that the kids were very orderly and polite this year.

Must be because of Trump.

Henry said...

Walrus, day-of-the-dead spirit, anime penguin.

Henry said...

The Stupids is awesome.

Sarah from VA said...

Took my girls (7, 5 and 3) out -- the toddler threw a tantrum over dinner and refused to eat it, so he got to stay home with his dad. (This year we just bought costumes from Target -- frequently I make them or scrounge with what we already have, but we were busy. So 7 was a unicorn, 5 was Princess Belle, and 3 was an angel. My husband and I have to stop ourselves from describing her as "an ironic angel" because she's very 3.)

I was impressed by the stamina of my older two girls. They were sprinting from door to door and then having to wait while I walked up with the toddler. We trick-or-treated for nearly an hour before they would consent to go home.

At one house they gave away little finger flashlights AND a king-sized candy bar to each kid. When I raised my eyebrows the man there laughed and said, "I've invested in dentists." It was a good line.

We set a timer and let the girls eat as much candy as they liked for 20 minutes when we got home. Tomorrow we'll count up and trade the candy and I'll see how much I can buy back from them.

pacwest said...

Just a few so far, but the excitement of young ones who haven't learned to be cynical is great to watch. As someone said above, visit me later when I'm thinking you might be the last one, and hit the jackpot.

A few years ago we were living in a place that didn't get many trick or treaters. I bought 20 high end items, magic kits, paint by numbers, kids games like candyland, etc and handed them out. Those were fun reactions to watch. (I had candy as a backup. Word gets out. We were swamped the next year.)

Leland said...

Yeah! Just had our first kids! Still raining though. We're giving out chem glow necklaces and full size bars! But then, we usually only get about a dozen kids. I like kids getting out and meeting neighbors.

I don't like solicitors of any kind, much less political ones. Don't knock on my door, don't ring my phone, and don't text me. I'm looking at you, Robert O'Rourke.

heyboom said...

Still daylight here in SoCal. Going to be a chilly night, all the way down to 68 degrees during the trick-or-treat period.

Marcus said...

I live in a 50-and-older condo so I never get trick-or-treaters. Back when my parents were alive, their street was all done up and we had a lot of traffic there (I was in my 30s). Within ten years the demographics of the neighborhood changed and we hardly gave out any candy. I always bought the big-sized candies because I got to eat the leftovers and I wanted the kids to think I was cool for splurging. Seems like this holiday has become an excuse for adults to have parties and dress up. I miss Mischief Night.

JohnAnnArbor said...

Maybe unemployed HVAC guys.

In the Trump economy, not many of those about.

Francisco D said...

We have another hour or so before trick-or-treat hours start.

It's our first Halloween in Arizona. My fiancé is really big on this holiday, bought decorations, candy, etc. I am trying to get in the spirit by wearing a black polo shirt underneath an orange vest - my first costume in many years.

I need to contact the HOA to see if they have a hotline to report culturally inappropriate costumes.

Francisco D said...

I forgot to mention that my costume is that of a deconstructed pumpkin.

Note that I am still wearing shorts and sandals. I have yet to spend a day in long pants here in Arizona. Life is good.

Bay Area Guy said...

My wifey is home handling the younger kids and the trick or treaters. Myself, I'm taking my middle son and my old pal from high school to the Warrior game v the Pelicans. My pal from high school worked as an AUSA under Robert Mueller in San Francisco before he became Director of the FBI. I'm going to ply him with beer and nachos to get some inside scoops. The problem is that he is a fucking Democrat, who gets all butt hurt if we talk politics. So we gotta keep it to sports and law.

He was also a virgin in high school so we can't even talk about high school girls we dated. I'm fairly sure he is unfamiliar with this blog, which is a good thing. Probably stays on Huff Post 24/7.

Trick or Treat!

Darrell said...

I had over twenty kids this year--that compare with zero last year and two the year before. I'm almost out of candy because I've been giving away multiple pieces. I guess I have to buy candy next year, too. I should have taken Chuck up on his bets a couple of years ago. Alas I didn't have a million dollars. Or any to bet.

Patrick said...

My kids always have swords. Light sabers sometimes.

stephen cooper said...

I live in one of those garden apartment complexes - six or seven buildings with trees and grass all over the place, each building 4 stories tall with about five apartments on each story.

I came home late from work, as I do a lot, because I work a lot, and going up the stairs I see a couple - the woman walking faster, the man, carrying a toddler in some sort of costume - I just noticed that there seemed to be a pumpkin hat - walking fast past all the closed doors, none of them with the sign on them that the garden apartment management says we should put on our doors if we are going to be open to giving out candy on Halloween.

I felt so sad for them, walking fast past all those doors with no signs, hoping to make a good experience for their toddler, and being frustrated in their hope for that experience by people like me who work too hard and don't put cute signs on our door, welcoming Trick or Treaters.

Even though they are a young and attractive and healthy couple, and (while I am many things) I am not young and healthy or attractive, I almost started to cry, knowing how many empty doors they were going to walk by.

(apparently the average number of signs is one in 30 doors or so - I thought it was one in ten before today).

cacimbo said...

I don't get hordes of trick or treaters, but I did notice that this year about 90% of the parents were also in costume. Several of the parents costumes were more elaborate than the kids.

tcrosse said...

Next year I plan to boldly go as a split infinitive.

Big Mike said...

8:30 here in the Shenandoah Valley,and the flow of kids is down to two or three every ten minutes or so. Probably won’t see very many more tonight.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

i'm 1/1064th ceiling fan, and I find that costume offensive

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

OMG I see 2 guys going as Mattress Girl !!

oh wait...Sleepy's delivery. Never mind.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

My party pooper neighbors' houses are mostly dark and we live on a cul de sac so most people are skipping us. :-( My husband is out with our 2 year old hummingbird who is having her first trick or treat. The 8 month old is in the funniest little skunk costume - you should see her crawl 😊 . All the big kids are out with their friends. I made my first-ever batch of fried chicken. A good night.

YoungHegelian said...

They're done here in my Silver Spring suburb. What a crowd! They came with a few candy bars of cleaning me out & I bought five bags of candy!

Sprezzatura said...

F me.

I shoulda been a ceiling fan.

Instead I let someone else pick, cause I thought I didn't have an opinion. Until I knew ceiling fan was an option.

Can't win em' all.

I guess.

mockturtle said...

Has anyone dressed up like Hillary Clinton by wearing an oven mitt?

Fernandinande said...

$50-some worth of candy later...they're still out there.

Even though I think it's a bad custom, I got a kick out all the little brats and their "Trick or treat!"-ing. They were happy and polite, it seemed like something from the Olden Days.

JML said...

We live on a one acre lot in a community with mostly ROFs and professionals with no kids. We have had one kid in three years and I'm not sure how he even made it down the driveway as it gets real dark here. But my wife still buys candy bars. That they happen to be the brands she likes is, I'm sure, a happy coincidence.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

Blogger mockturtle said...

Has anyone dressed up like Hillary Clinton...?

no witches this year?

CWJ said...

Well, it's closing in on over here in KC. We always decorate and this year like many, we've got the tiki torches and lanterns out front to set the mood. Still, not many trick ot treaters, maybe 16 so far. And of those, I'd say no more than four were local, the rest "bussed" in. We don't mind, everyone has been in costume and everyone has said thank you. No ceiling fans though.

Inga...Allie Oop said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
paminwi said...

My best Halloween was when my kids were about 5 & 7. Went out with my kids friends the same age and their mom. We brought shot glasses. After the kids got their candy we said 'trick or treat" and held up our shot glasses! Most people laughed and got us a shot.
We had a ball even though it was raining. We had a neighborhood where everyone knew us and they were not surprised by our behavior.

You must say Happy Halloween or Trick or Treat to get candy at my house. None of this holding out your pillowcase and expect to get candy.
I will say "what do you say?" to kids before I hand out the candy.

Sprezzatura said...

Missplaced Pants,

It sounds like this year you need to go caroling early in your hood:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=bQ_LHyx2odc


Inga...Allie Oop said...

My two little grandsons were firefighters and my youngest granddaughter was “Where’s Waldo?”. Who knows what my oldest granddaughter is doing tonight up at the UMN. I don’t know if they go wild like they do at UW Madison, I hope not. And my oldest grandson is too cool to trick or treat nowadays, too old too at 15

jim said...

My grand kids were a spaceman and a tiger. Long lines of a trick-or-treaters in Jim Thorpe PA, a blast.

Sprezzatura said...

"I have yet to spend a day in long pants here in Arizona. Life is good."

Skin cancer and premature wrinkles v lack of Vitamin D and increased character building.

Diff strokes fer diff folks.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...


Kyzer SoSay said...

My baby girl and wife are dressed as gnomes.
Shit- I thought you said "genomes". Now that would have been cool.

gnome sane?

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

maybe a good name for a geeky rapper. "G-Nome"

ok, my bloodsugar is a little out of whack 2-nite, yo.

Sprezzatura said...

"My grand kids were a spaceman and a tiger."

I thought you wrote specimen and the n word.

Ok, I got no follow up joke re rapper jabber.

Sprezzatura said...

BTW, I know it's not her fault, but Megan w/ a 'y'.

Not good.

IMHO.

Sprezzatura said...

At least Megan w/ an 'h' knows better re that issue. Of course the Sussex gig requires stuff, like wearing pantyhose.

Anywho, the point is: no 'h' and no 'y'.

IMHO.

Birches said...

We moved across the country a week and a half ago. I packed Halloween costumes in our suitcases. We are living in an extended stay hotel. We are waiting for our house to sell but have found a house that we would like to buy. So we went to that neighborhood tonight. There were kids everywhere. All the neighbors were so friendly. I think we found our next home.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

as a kid, I always thought the whole "Trick-or-Treat" thing was a false dichotomy.
They arent mutually exclusive. And I was a diabetic.
ah-- La Dolce Vita!

iowan2 said...

We set a timer and let the girls eat as much candy as they liked for 20 minutes when we got home. Tomorrow we'll count up and trade the candy and I'll see how much I can buy back from them.

The guy that does the local morning news on TV says that he takes the 'Dad tax' out of his kids bags when they get home. Their tax for living there for the year.

JMW Turner said...

Fortunately the little chiselers are nowhere to be seen. Actually, in my small town, the trend over the last 20 years has both the churches and other institutions like the mall to give out candy in a safe environment, especially urgent now that we read about meth disguised as candy, no doubt a twist on the classic razor blade routine. Helloween for the evil and insane.

Sprezzatura said...

The problem w/ blackface as a costume is that ya open a door. A bad door.

Say ya got yur typical racist who is handing out candy. Maybe they still give candy to black kids, but w/ some sorta stink eye. Or, they behave worse.

Anywho, it's better than even money that they'd like a white kid in blackface. It's known to be un-PC, so that already makes it a winner w/ the vast majority of SJW warriors, i.e. Rs.

At least she still got 70-ish million. Even in NY that's plenty to live on. Plus, the skids are greased to get back to the FNC folks. Fight PC.

And, carry on.

Tank said...

No trick or treaters in our mostly older neighborhood. Mrs. Tank and I went to parties last night and tonight as Where’s Waldo and Cousin It. With her hair, Mrs. Tank is a great It

Curious George said...

Milwaukee had the trick or treat thing Sunday during the day. Stupid. It's only about the candy then.

Drago said...

anti-de Sitter space: "The problem w/ blackface as a costume...."

...is that so many dems/lefties have done it and other dem/lefties are running around saying black men look alike.

I didnt think that was true but when the most qualified candidate to ever run for office and lefty heroine says so, who am I to disagree?

rehajm said...

So we were at the fire pit- one owl came and hooted at us. The bobcats were out and about in the yard the last few nights so no trick or treaters. They had a golf cart parade and candy earlier in the evening.

rehajm said...

The trick or treaters not the bobcats...

Francisco D said...

Lots of cute, little tiny ones trick or treating with their parents. Princess costumes are popular.

E (my fiancé) engages them and gives them a choice of candies and light sticks. Squeals of delight from the munchkins. Oohs from the parents.

Life does not have to be contentious.

'TreHammer said...

Back in the day...St. Louis MO in the 50's and 60's...we had to do a "trick" (tell a joke, sing a song, do something goofy) before we got a "treat" (usually candy, sometimes homemade, or $, usually quarters)

todd galle said...

Our starter house was in a first ring suburb that became more marginal as time went on. We weren't wealthy - hence the house location - and would spend around 35 dollars at a local wholesale candy supplier to get as much as possible. We'd go though that in about 30 minutes. All the decent folks with kids in the city would travel to the closest, safest location to parade their kids in their mostly homemade costumes. I didn't and don't blame them a bit. Although most don't know that by the time we moved, I always had a pistol in my pocket. Some of the older kids were aggressive and could be threatening, and many of our neighbors were elderly. Now we're in a nicer place, on a round ring road with about 11 houses, many dark. Not worth the walk. Shame, I have a flying skull that goes around in circles on a string, I don't eat candy, my wife is always dieting, so we're a take what you want family.

Openidname said...

I live in a typical suburban neighborhood -- houses chockablock, very walkable, good visibility, but still I never get more than maybe nine kids total. A few years ago, I gave up.

If I were going to do it again, though, I'd get a couple of rolls of quarters and give every kid 50 cents or a buck. That way, what's left is money and not candy.

Original Mike said...

“AND: From the City of Madison Halloween tips: "Do not use toy weapons as part of any costume." I opened the door on at least one boy with a sword.”

I don’t think a sword really counts.

Kelly said...

The most popular little boy costume was a swat team member, had at least a squad of them. Had a soldier, pirates with swords, and various scary costumes with knives. Not a whole lot of princesses, lots of Wonder Woman

My favorite was a Rockford Peaches Costume (A league Of their own). A bit obscure, but the girl had done the Woman’s baseball legue for the History fair.

Original Mike said...

Nor would I be inclined to take costume tips from the City. Just stick to picking up my leaves.

jk said...

Slow year... 433 kids. I honestly expected more since it was unexpectedly warm this year.

jk said...

And political door-knocking on Halloween? That's just evil.

We have a group of teenagers that come around every year asking for canned food for a local charity in lieu of candy... but that's fine.

Sprezzatura said...

"Although most don't know that by the time we moved, I always had a pistol in my pocket."

How many people did you pull the gun on to save yourself, your family, geezers in the hood or anyone?

I have plenty of very armed friends when I'm in my non-urban places. They talk of the joy of shooting the AR-15. They never go anywhere w/o arms.

Anywho, all I think is 'tiny dick' and 'insecure' and 'weak'.

Being scared is human. What ya do about it says who ya are. It's an action v words thing-y.

IMHO.

jk said...

Anywho, all I think is 'tiny dick' and 'insecure' and 'weak'.

Projection is an interesting phenomenon.

Freeman Hunt said...

Cold, rainy, fun.

Freeman Hunt said...

One son went as Lawrence of Arabia. A woman asked if he was dressed as a murderer.

Bruce Hayden said...

“How many people did you pull the gun on to save yourself, your family, geezers in the hood or anyone?

I have plenty of very armed friends when I'm in my non-urban places. They talk of the joy of shooting the AR-15. They never go anywhere w/o arms.

Anywho, all I think is 'tiny dick' and 'insecure' and 'weak'.”

My partner worries. Her daughter is married to a guy apparently like you, who talks about guys with small dicks liking guns. She worries, because guys in her world take care of their women, and her daughter has no one to do so, despite being married. He was weird enough about a knife I was carrying on my belt, and was surprised when I told him I used it a couple times a day. His better question would have been why I carried it on my left side when I am right handed, and the answer, of course, is that is where I carry a gun. It would be one thing if he were a fighter. But he isn’t. He tells us he is a lover instead. This is why she worries about her daughter. I carry it for the person besides myself who knows when I am armed. And that is the answer of why most of the guys I know who carry firearms do so, and that is for self reliance and to protect loved ones.

Maybe there is a worry about weakness there with me. Guys 1/3 my age are nearing their full growrh. And, yes, there are places that I don’t go, that I would have 2/3 of a lifetime ago. But not that many. I figure that I have three choices these days. I can do what the women of my generation seem to be doing more and more, as they get older, which is to stick to ultra safe environments, like home. But if I did that, we would starve, because she is already doing that. Or, I could be dumb, and ignore the increase in danger as I get older, weaker, frailer, etc. Or, I can be self reliant, carry concealed, and practice so I know what I am doing. Which, of course is my choice.

Bruce Hayden said...

“Being scared is human. What ya do about it says who ya are. It's an action v words thing-y.”

No, I don’t go through life scared. Never have. Not that I don’t get scared, because only fools never do. And I will admit to unease, walking around after dark in rural MT, knowing that we do have the occasional black bear in the neighborhood. I carry openly then (with 10 mm hard cast loaded in the magazine). But I don’t go through life scared, but one of the reasons that I am not in fear, even in somewhat sketchy locations (that I do try to avoid) is that if it is somewhere where I might not be safe, I am probably armed.

Sprezzatura said...

Bruce,

It's nice that you need your gun near you so that you can feel safe.

And, it's nice that you know someone who is obviously a total pussy loser (e.g. freaks out at the sight of a knife) who doesn't need a gun to feel safe.

Presumably he'll be attacked by a bear or he'll be shot by a criminal. Then you can tell him that you told him so.

walter said...

vi·vip·a·rous
/vəˈvip(ə)rəs,vīˈvipərəs/
adjectiveZoology
adjective: viviparous

(of an animal) bringing forth live young that have developed inside the body of the parent.
Botany
(of a plant) reproducing from buds that form plantlets while still attached to the parent plant, or from seeds that germinate within the fruit.

Origin

Douglas B. Levene said...

I think my favorite costumes from elementary school days all involved guns. Swords, not so much.

MadisonMan said...

I only passed out 3/4 of the candy I bought. So I've brought the rest into the office. Sugar rushes for everyone!

A family near us has three kids, and they came by early. Middle kid (4ish) took a fistful (these are full-sized bars!) and threw them in his pillow case. Dad down on the sidewalk just put his head in his hands. I laughed. It was very endearing.

Rusty said...

As usual I over bought. As usual people from lesser neighborhoods dropped thier kids off to gather our holloween loot. Not so many teenagers this year. Those that came, came is costume and were invariably polite. Mostly little kids with thier moms and dads. said parents also in costume. They got candy too. One boy wanted to brouse the selection- there's always one. "Trade with your friends. Now bugger off."
I get a kick out of the little kids. Their parents coaching them on what to say.

Wilbur said...

30+ years ago, a friend asked me if I was dressing up for Halloween. I said yes, I'm going as cold air duct.
He still emails me every Halloween to ask if I'm dressing up.

In Hollywood, FL we got a few T&Ters last night. The little ones are cute. The older kids … not so much.
Most kids today go to Halloween events held at malls, because their parents are scared shitless of the world at large. How sad.

The Crack Emcee said...

It was great - I added Night of the Living Dead to The Art Garage movie collection just in time!

Ignorance is Bliss said...

No kids showed up this year, as usual. However, later in the night, a raccoon came by, went through the jack-o-lanterns, and fished out the remains of the candles.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Sarah from VA said...

Tomorrow we'll count up and trade the candy and I'll see how much I can buy back from them.

Buy?!? In my house, we have the Dad Tax. I get to take however-much of whatever I want. I figure, the more arbitrary and excessive the Dad Tax, the more likely they are to grow up an become conservatives.

Known Unknown said...

My son (now 15) always ends up as a villain.

Loki
Doctor Octopus
The Riddler
The Six-Fingered Man from The Princess Bride (no photo yet)

And this year he was Saruman (Christopher Lee in the Lord of the Rings)

My favorite was Willy Wonka.

Henry said...

From celebrity twitter:

Carlos Beltran and his family all went as Carlos Beltran

Inga...Allie Oop said...

Bruce, the trick or treaters scare you?

LOL

Rosa Marie Yoder said...

Zero Trick or Treaters at my retirement residence, a secluded cabin in the woods. I missed seeing the costumed kids. The weather cooperated perfectly here in central Michigan.

Maybe I'll find a Trunk or Treat event to join next year.

PM said...

Around 7 this morning in North Beach, SF, saw a tired young woman walking to the bus in her Hobbes the Tiger outfit. Busted.

Freeman Hunt said...

The outside of our house was festively decorated for Halloween, so I was afraid that people would be lured to our door while we were out trick-or-treating. Going to the door would be enough of a walk to be annoying (and maybe encourage tricks!) So I didn't just turn off the porch light, I turned off every light. It looked absolutely foreboding. Nice and Halloween-y. Fairly certain no child would have gone near it.

Rae said...

Only real weapons in Madison, WI. None of that fake stuff.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

"Anywho, all I think is 'tiny dick' and 'insecure' and 'weak'."

Project much there, sport?

Doug said...

Wilson NC - I was on treat dispensing duty. I am surprised and amazed at how polite, respectful and engaging our trick-or-treaters were all night. Great kids (nice going, parents!).

Bilwick said...

"Do not use toy weapons as part of any costume." Unless of course you're going costumed as an IRS or ATF enforcer. Then the weapons are serving Progress.

Doug said...

Last night was warm - tee shirt weather - and I gave the kids tricks AND treats ... I made them listen to me play ukulele before I dropped the candy.