Althouse: Kayaker gets smacked by an octopus thrown at him by a seal.

September 27, 2018

Kayaker gets smacked by an octopus thrown at him by a seal.

Get out of my ocean, suckers.

61 comments:

Freeman Hunt said...: That would be weird.; 9/27/18, 1:51 PM
Fritz said...: Pretty sure that's a sea lion and not a seal. It has external ears.; 9/27/18, 1:53 PM
Expat(ish) said...: I had a dolphin jump over my kayak a few years ago. He'd been playing around me so his presence didn't startle me, but I almost bailed when he jumped.

I can't imagine getting hit by an octopus.

Plus seals are jerks, so there is that.

-XC; 9/27/18, 1:54 PM
Paddy O said...: I think you mean slapped, not smacked.

As the internet tells us "the difference between slap and smack is that slap is a blow, especially one given with the open hand, or with something broad and flat while smack is a distinct flavor or smack can be a small sailing vessel, commonly rigged as a sloop, used chiefly in the coasting and fishing trade."; 9/27/18, 1:56 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "Pretty sure that's a sea lion and not a seal. It has external ears."

Then someone needs to smack CBS with a fake rubber octopus.

Not a real octopus! That would be cruelty to animals. That wouldn't be funny. The sea lion used a real octopus, but what does a sea lion know about cruelty to octopi? Still... is it wrong to laugh at the use of an octopus as a weapon? Ugh. I'm reconsidering. Am I a lout... laughing because CBS prods me to laugh and the kayakers laughed? The sea lion is unhappy. The octopus is an innocent bystander....; 9/27/18, 1:58 PM
James K said...: Iowahawk had the best response:
"There are certain Japanese businessmen who would pay good money for this."; 9/27/18, 1:59 PM
Ann Althouse said...: @paddy The OED gives as the 3rd definition for "smack": "A sounding blow delivered with the flat of the hand or something having a flat surface; a slap."

Examples:

1886 R. L. Stevenson Kidnapped iii. 20 He jumped up..and hit me a smack upon the shoulder.

1895 A. W. Pinero Second Mrs. Tanqueray iii. 105 One gets so many smacks in the face through interfering in matrimonial squabbles.; 9/27/18, 2:02 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "Smack" conveys the sound of the hit in the face. Note that "smack" also means (definition #1): " A sharp noise or sound made by separating the lips quickly, esp. in kissing, and in tasting or anticipating food or liquor."

a1616 Shakespeare Taming of Shrew (1623) iii. iii. 51 Hee..kist her lips with such a clamorous smacke, that at the parting all the Church did eccho

I chose the word "smack" (over CBS's "slap") because I think of the octopus as making a smacking sound when it hits.; 9/27/18, 2:05 PM
Ann Althouse said...: There's also a parental tone to "smack." I think the parent's threat is "I'm going to smack you."; 9/27/18, 2:05 PM
Henry said...: This is where Homeric similes come from.; 9/27/18, 2:17 PM
Heartless Aztec said...: Years ago an infant dolphin popped up right next to me while I was sitting on my surfboard. Tiny little guy. It was a long 2 second stare down. I'm guessing it had never seen a human. I reached out to pet his/her nose and it disappeared. And BOOM Momma was there and she is as pissed off. Slapping the water with her tail circling around me. That was another lonnnng two or three seconds. It's their ocean and the creatures that live there WILL let you know.; 9/27/18, 2:20 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: The ocean seems too hostile for any humans to love it, and yet they do.; 9/27/18, 2:22 PM
rehajm said...: Tentace porn.; 9/27/18, 2:25 PM
Rob said...: Whoa, double rainbow!; 9/27/18, 2:26 PM
Paddy O said...: Althouse, I was being obtusely pedantic with a selective attention to facts.

Plus, it made me laugh to think of a sea lion hitting someone with a small sloop. That's when they mean business!; 9/27/18, 2:28 PM
tcrosse said...: The octopus broke every bone in his body.; 9/27/18, 2:28 PM
Saint Croix said...: Is his name Kavanaugh?; 9/27/18, 2:28 PM
Not Sure said...: Come here for the well-reasoned arguments; settle for the vivid metaphors.; 9/27/18, 2:31 PM
Tom T. said...: Octopus: "I've got your suckers right here!"; 9/27/18, 2:34 PM
Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...: lots of 'talking smack' today; 9/27/18, 2:39 PM
MadisonMan said...: The guy deserved it. He behaved disgracefully as a 17-yo.; 9/27/18, 2:43 PM
rcocean said...: Ah, why would a seal/sea lion throw a octopus, instead of eat it?

Was it a plastic octopus, that they put out there?; 9/27/18, 2:50 PM
BUMBLE BEE said...: The seal was a Detroit Red Wings fan! Not; 9/27/18, 3:04 PM
Ralph L said...: Was that a dolphin at :28?; 9/27/18, 3:07 PM
Ralph L said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9/27/18, 3:07 PM
Wince said...: Pretty sure that's a sea lion and not a seal. It has external ears.

Louis CK says, "They don't care, and we don't care."

"I'm a slave. Kill me."; 9/27/18, 3:08 PM
Ralph L said...: The kayakers asked the seal for some lunch. That's why they're grouped together and not moving.; 9/27/18, 3:12 PM
Tina Trent said...: You know what?

None of this is funny.; 9/27/18, 3:14 PM
Fernandinande said...: Ah, why would a seal/sea lion throw a octopus, instead of eat it?

The seal had been trying to kill the octopus for a while, which is what it was still trying to do when it hit the guy by accident.; 9/27/18, 3:23 PM
Spiros said...: Grilled octopus is delicious! (Old) Greek women, on the islands where people are a bit more primitive, would tenderize octopuses by bashing them against rocks. It's very odd.; 9/27/18, 3:30 PM
Mike Sylwester said...: Everything is spinning out of control!; 9/27/18, 3:47 PM
MadisonMan said...: None of this is funny.

Agreed.; 9/27/18, 3:48 PM
n.n said...: Illegal aliens and radical sea mammals.; 9/27/18, 4:03 PM
MadTownGuy said...: Squid launcher!; 9/27/18, 4:12 PM
Robert Cook said...: Good! It's about time the other members of the animal kingdom start pushing back against the oppressive immigration of puny humans into their realms!; 9/27/18, 4:19 PM
Howard said...: Seals and sea lions hassle kayakers and divers all the time. A buddy of mine was fishing at Pebble Beach and had a stringer of fish hanging in the water. A seal grabbed the fish, flipped my buddy out of the boat and dragged everything 10-feet until he let go. The seal got half a Ling Cod. The always come up to you and bark and slap the water with their flippers to try and scare you off.

When you are diving, it's way worse because they will blind-side body-slam you and of course your first thought is Great White.; 9/27/18, 4:23 PM
bagoh20 said...: This is gonna be even better comment bait than Kavanaugh. A similar affront to decency.; 9/27/18, 4:37 PM
Vance said...: Good heavens, I just looked at the comment count on the Kavanaugh hearing post right below this one. 1320 right now. Is that the biggest comment count ever here? And I'm pretty sure I don't want to wade into it. The seal/octopus appears to sum up what's going on anyway.; 9/27/18, 4:41 PM
n.n said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9/27/18, 4:45 PM
n.n said...: The sea lion has a wicked left spin, exhibiting tell-tale signs of Choice and #Diversity.; 9/27/18, 4:46 PM
Big Mike said...: I guess we have to add sea lions to the growing list of animals other than h. sapiens that use tools.; 9/27/18, 5:04 PM
tcrosse said...: Their Moms can catch teenaged male sea-lions Tossing the Octopus.; 9/27/18, 5:07 PM
stevew said...: Now this comes at the right time. Was a hockey game underway at the time?

-sw; 9/27/18, 5:25 PM
Nonapod said...: I roundly condemned this shocking abuse that's been visited upon a fellow cephelopod!; 9/27/18, 5:26 PM
Arashi said...: Someone posted the video to advrider last night. Maybe the sea loin thought the kayaker was hungry?; 9/27/18, 6:01 PM
Birkel said...: Judge Kavanaugh should not have slapped Senator Blumenthal with Senator Feinstein like that.
Now they won't vote for him.

Kavanaugh = Seal; 9/27/18, 6:12 PM
Sam L. said...: Seals are roudies!; 9/27/18, 6:30 PM
Guildofcannonballs said...: As I had thoguht re Lasli.

what would grandl be is:

Kavanaugh after Senate approved declaims unless 5 sitting Justices support him as their equal he will deny himself the honor for betterment of country, America.; 9/27/18, 6:43 PM
Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...: Kayaker was a hedge fund manager.

Octopi Wallstreet!; 9/27/18, 6:44 PM
Guildofcannonballs said...: But I am octoseal.; 9/27/18, 6:49 PM
Jupiter said...: Spiros Pappas said...
"Grilled octopus is delicious! (Old) Greek women, on the islands where people are a bit more primitive, would tenderize octopuses by bashing them against rocks. It's very odd."

So that's what you've got in your mouth?; 9/27/18, 6:50 PM
Trumpit said...: I love seals and octopi.; 9/27/18, 6:52 PM
BJM said...: Maybe we're reading it wrong and the sea lion is sharing...or playing some sort of sea lion "you're it" game. It didn't seem angry and it hung around.

I've seen them in the marina, on boat docks and when they are angry or territorial they come at you with teeth bared.; 9/27/18, 7:11 PM
Birkel said...: Yes, Trumpit, they are delicious.; 9/27/18, 7:16 PM
etbass said...: Freeman said "The ocean seems too hostile for any humans to love it, and yet they do."

Agree.

The sun, the wind, the noise, the sand, the waves, sharks, jellyfish. I lost any love I had for the beach a long time ago. Freeman's choice of "hostile" is the way I describe the ocean.; 9/27/18, 7:23 PM
todd galle said...: For years I had an agreement with the ocean dwellers, if they came on land I wouldn't eat them, and if I went into the water, they wouldn't eat me. They broke that pact years ago when I was attacked by a stingray just after my son was struck by a man-of-war. He still has the scar, and I spent a week with a foot on a stool and a cane. Now, except for crustaceans, it's open season on the fish.; 9/27/18, 7:50 PM
Ralph L said...: Should have got it in writing, Galle.; 9/27/18, 8:36 PM
n.n said...: The ocean seems too hostile for any humans to love it, and yet they do.

It's a low density hostility, where most of the residents are tolerant, if not actually friendly.; 9/27/18, 8:56 PM
Snark said...: “Ahhahahah! Hey Seal, remember when you were a sea student and it was beach week you were so hammered you threw an octopus at that kayak guy?”; 9/27/18, 9:01 PM
Chas S. Clifton said...: Sea lion, not a seal. Ask an Alaska journalist:
https://craigmedred.news/2018/09/27/not-a-seal/; 9/27/18, 9:47 PM
Wince said...: We would sing and dance around
Because we know we can't be found
I''d like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden in the shade...

Oh what joy for every girl and boy
Knowing they're happy and they''re safe

“Safe”? Yeah, tell that to the octopus.; 9/28/18, 4:39 AM