August 28, 2018

"When Is It OK to Blow Off Weddings, Funerals, and Other Major Milestones?"

That's a good etiquette question, answered at Lifehacker in 2017 during "Evil Week," when Lifehacker covered "less-than-seemly methods for getting shit done."

The author of this piece — the delightfully named Lucy Cohen Blatter — says things like "Depending on how far you live from the person who’s invited you, that’s a useful rule of thumb for most of us—closer relationships will almost always take top priority." It's pretty focused on maintaining relationships and not hurting feelings too much. So there's one answer to the question that she never gets anywhere near.

It's totally OK to blow off a funeral when the previously alive person said explicitly and publicly I don't want you at my funeral.

Now, you've get the best excuse ever: You were disinvited. And funerals don't even have invitations. The now-dead person went out of his way to tell you to keep out. You've got a lock on nonattendance. Who can say you blew it off? You're respecting the dead man's wishes.

But here's a thought experiment: What if Donald Trump decided that in fact he should attend John McCain's memorial service in Washington (the one with the eulogies from Barack Obama and George W. Bush)? What if he analyzed it and determined that — despite McCain's pointed effort to absolve him of obligation to attend — it was not OK to blow it off?

This is kind of a 2-part question, because first you have to figure out what plausible analysis could take you there. I see the path to that conclusion, so I'm convinced it's possible. The second part of the question is how would Trump do this strange thing and attend the service when we all know John McCain's expressed preference? What would Trump say, where would he sit, how would he act?

Here's an analogy to help you think about it. A married woman dies, and her husband and children are the dominant figures at the funeral. But she had a lover, X, and the husband knows about X, hates him, and the woman, before she died, told X that he must stay away from the funeral. X might nevertheless decide that he must attend and concentrate on how to do it, maybe slip in quietly and find a place in the back.

IN THE COMMENTS: D 2 Dylan-parodied:
I received your non-invitation yesterday
About the time the flagpole broke
You told me not to come a'mourning
Was that some kind of joke
All these People that you mention
Yes I know them they are quite lame
So I rode an escalator and give them all bad nicknames
Right now I can't read too good
Guess I'll make it all up as I go
And in three days time they'll report another
Horrid Trump No-no.

110 comments:

Rob said...

X slips quietly into the rear entrance--just as he used to do with the married woman.

Fernandinande said...

I won't go to anyone's funeral unless they've gone to mine.

tcrosse said...

At my grandfather's funeral, in 1940, his long-time mistress showed up. Two of my uncles escorted her from the church. Nobody particularly liked the old son of a bitch for having been a rat to their mother all those years.

Nonapod said...

first you have to figure out what plausible analysis could take you there. I see the path to that conclusion, so I'm convinced it's possible.

I assume your "path" wouldn't be Trump using it as an opportunity to be magnanimous and healing, but rather that as Commander in Chief it could be observed as a right and honorable thing for any sitting US President (no matter who he/she is) to attend a funeral for a prominent war veteran and POW?

Trumpit said...

As I've explained before, my mother was murdered (in my presence) by two doctors with the ER nurses obedient help. Her wish was to be cremated. The only "ceremony" was to spread her ashes at the beach in Florida where here older brother lives. That offended the seagulls who were expecting a cheeseburger. For two of her children, who endeavored to euthanize her, to be involved in the dispersal of ashes was highly offensive to me. Even more offensive were their smiling faces mugging for the camera. That is one reason why I love seagulls more than life itself, and am revulsed by sick and twisted humans.

tim maguire said...

Trump should show up with full motorcade, ideally interfering with and delaying the funeral procession. He should sit in the front pew and somewhere in the middle, get up and deliver a beautiful eulogy, something worthy of Shakespeare himself.

Why? Because McCain said he didn't want him there at all.

Chuck said...

Should we be making a big deal out of Trump not going to McCain's funeral, if it was not a big deal to Trump or to McCain?

I expect that McCain didn't want Trump to be there, and Trump himself doesn't want to be there. And that neither man wanted to give it much thought beyond that.

Should we question the motives of anyone else who tries to make more of this story than either of the principals cared?

PM said...

X x -2 + X = jerk

Trumpit said...

@tim maguire, I read what you rote after what I rote, and you qualify as "sick and twisted."

Psota said...

The sitting president can't/won't attend your funeral?

Looks like the world is moving on from yesterday's man

Henry said...

X might nevertheless decide that he must attend

But why does X feel he has to attend? What about being physically present at the service is meaningful to him? One can conceive of a deeply religious man, a Graham Greene type of character, flawed but profoundly driven by religious conviction. But Graham Green characters tend also to be aware of their mistaken motivations, and thus capable of avoiding easy certainty.

Absent some deep religious conviction, funerals are for the living. Maybe X has some deep connection to other people at the funeral. Maybe X is the minister.

Sheridan said...

If it's a State Funeral, Trump should attend. If it's only lying in state with a private funeral afterwards, Trump should stay away. Of course, with Trump you never know. He might make an appearance in order to take a piss on the flag, right in McCain's dead face, to show the world that "the king is dead, long live the king". Everyone on CNN would suffer a cerebral hemorrhage trying to broadcast the scoop.

readering said...

He should play golf and send his wife.

MD Greene said...

Sorry, Trumpit. What a terrible experience.

Sebastian said...

"maybe slip in quietly and find a place in the back"

Now that's funny.

Though reasoning, I gather, is not his thing, I could see Trump "reasoning" his way to attending: one FU deserves another, it would upset all the right people, "no one disinvites the president and CiC (especially not an inferior naval officer)" and what better salute to a jerk than showing he wasn't even the baddest jerk?

tim maguire said...

Trumpit said...
@tim maguire, I read what you rote after what I rote, and you qualify as "sick and twisted."


I have my moments. Thanks for noticing.

mccullough said...

This would be more difficult if McCain had been president. It’s not typical for presidents to attend the funeral of senators. Obama went to Teddy’s funeral but he owed the Kennedys. (W went as well because he has a lot of respect for other politicians who get where they are because of family connections like the Kennedys and Gores).

But presidents are supposed to attend the funerals of ex presidents. Tricky Dick had the full month of Clinton and the Ex Presidents.

HW and Carter are 94 (Carter will be soon). Trump will have to attend if either or both of them kick.

McCain was a senator. Not in the club

FWBuff said...

According to the lore about Eva Peron (and the opening scene of the 1997 movie with Madonna in the title role), when Evita was a child, she and her working-class mother were forcibly ejected from her middle-class father's funeral by his wife and legitimate family. Supposedly, this was the source of Evita's lifelong anger and vendetta against the middle- and upper-classes in Argentina when she and Juan came to power.

Not sure whether the story is true, but it is dramatic (which seems to be the same standard that the media applies to Trump today).

Wince said...

Here's what the evil Trump should do, but he doesn't drink.

"One for Me and One for My Homies"

ALP said...

I easily blow off any wedding where the couple has been living together for years. They are already married, IFAIAK, and now just want to put on a fundraiser to be the center of attention. I am happy to help a very young, barely getting started couple make a home. But I'm not gonna go to some boring event, eat bland food, wear fancy clothes I normally don't wear, listen to crap music - so you can hope to gain more in tangible gifts and cash than you spent on the event.

Trumpit said...

Thank you for your expression of sympathy, @Crazy Jane. You don't sound crazy at all.

tcrosse said...

Louis the Lord Mountbatten left instructions that there be no Japanese representatives at his funeral.

Fernandinande said...

Attend the funeral? Trump should harvest McCain's stem cells.

"I would remind you that these stem cells are either going to be discarded or perpetually frozen. ... I support federal funding."

And then use them to make a humanzee. I support federal funding.

Unknown said...

If Trump could secretly get there, sit quietly in the balcony or something and then quietly leave without the whole motorcade etc., that would be amazing and would drive people insane. Why did he come? Why didn't he make it about himself?

readering said...

POTUS at public event in secret? Tell that to the secret service!

Hari said...

Trump will say that McCain didn't want him to attend, and he hopes that Justice Ginsburg will extend him the same courtesy.

Gunner said...

I feel like I am the only sane person when watching CNN. Being a POW does not automatically make you a hero! Suffering does not automatically make you a hero!

Was Baby Jessica a hero for getting stuck in a well? Is little Matty Igleaseas a hero for getting his ass beaten up in DC and not saying it was done by a black guy?

McCain is arguably a hero for refusing early release, but it seems like hardly anyone did that due to the shame and penalties of it back home. If everyone refuses it, is it really heroic? That doesn't sound right.

The Crack Emcee said...

"When Is It OK to Blow Off Weddings, Funerals, and Other Major Milestones?"

When you don't want to be there. Period.

Anthony said...

Sorry about your experience @Trumpit. I can't imagine having to go through that.

Always go to the funeral.

Ann Althouse said...

When is it OK to blow off a wedding when it is your own wedding?

That's what Meade and I did. But maybe there were some people who wanted to witness the vows and share in the celebration. I didn't really believe that and think it's hard to put on enough of an event to make it worthwhile for the people who would attend, which is how I would think about it.

I've been involved in avoiding putting on a funeral too.

reader said...

My first boyfriend’s grandfather had a long time mistress/companion and the entire family knew of her existence. I was no longer with my boyfriend when his grandfather passed. I am fairly confident she attended the funeral and simply steered clear of his wife. In three years of dating and six years of friendship before that I met and had dinner with the companion but never met the grandmother/wife.

rhhardin said...

Don't go to anything you don't want to go to.

mccullough said...

Katharine Hepburn didn’t attend Spencer Tracy’s funeral.

She had good manners.

Humperdink said...

For sure Trump will not attend. And that is a good thing as he will be negotiating more deals for benefit of the US citizenry. Let the ruling class elites and the MSM do their thing.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Trump is in a no win situation in regards to McCain's funeral.

Trump was pointedly asked not to come. People on the left and never Trumpers are giving him a ration of shit because he isn't fulfilling his "duties" as President to attend (pointless) ceremonies. How DARE he not be publicly mourning the most wonderful, bravest, heroic person to evah inhabit the Senate. Such disrespect!! (hurk...sarcasm). Bad Trump!

On the other hand Trump ignores the request to stay away and brings himself, a gaggle of Secret Service people and the omnipresent rabid chihuahua ankle biting press to the event. Turning it into an even bigger circus than the funeral is already guaranteed to be. How dare he disrespect the wishes of a dying man. bravest, heroic and all that happy horse pucky.....The disrespect!!! Bad Trump.

The man cannot win with these people. So....Trump just does the bare minimum with a noncommital statement. Then takes some well deserved time off for an afternoon.

Or...quick while everyone is preoccupied with their political preening about McStain...Trump gets some more work done :-D

Dust Bunny Queen said...

"When Is It OK to Blow Off Weddings, Funerals, and Other Major Milestones?"

Crack said: When you don't want to be there. Period.

AMEN to that.

Leland said...

Trump could hire hookers to just piss on the gravesite about a month from now. Or, more likely, Hillary could hire them through a lawyer, and tell them "if caught, say Trump hired you through Cohen", and then make sure they get caught.

Oh, and the easiest way to blow off a wedding is to demand attendees pay $1,500 per person, so says the Internet thus it must be true.

Humperdink said...

Championship sports teams (now) no longer go to the White House to be feted by the President. They refuse the invite. All in the name of civility. *cough*

Yancey Ward said...

The only thing I will write is that regardless of what Trump does- go or not go- it will be declared by the media and the Democrats as the worst behavior by a head of state since the last thing Trump did.

Rabel said...

What evidence is there that McCain "disinvited" Trump?

Phil 314 said...

"If Trump could secretly get there, sit quietly in the balcony or something and then quietly leave ... "

And pigs fly.

Leland said...

Championship sports teams (now) no longer go to the White House

The Houston Astros went, but then they had the audacity to beat Boston, New York, and LA on their way to get there.

WK said...

.... the delightfully named Lucy Cohen Blatter
Is almost Loosy Colon Bladder which doesn’t sound as delightful.

TestTube said...

it will be declared by the media and the Democrats as the worst behavior by a head of state since the last thing Trump did.

And then forgotten within a week.

Do you recall what the big outrages were a month ago? Two months ago?

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

When you don't want to be there. Period.

Disagree. You're not ten and it's not a birthday party. Weddings are funerals are not designed to entertain you. Your presence there is to express support, love, caring and participation in a major milestone for a person you care about and/or have ties to. Grownups understand this.

I don't 'want' to do about 500 things every day. Sucks being an adult sometimes. But if I want people to give a shit about me and my family, I should probably attempt to give a shit about them and their families.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

*weddings and funerals; sorry

Inga...Allie Oop said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Inga...Allie Oop said...

Trump should do the honorable thing and not attend any of Senator McCain’s funeral events, as Senator McCain and his family requested. He showed just how petty and spiteful he was by raising the flag from half staff to full staff prematurely. I doubt his advisers want him to look even worse, than he did when he was forced to lower it again after pressure from Veterans

Andrew said...

"When Is It OK to Blow Off Weddings, Funerals, and Other Major Milestones?"

If they begin the ceremony by offering you a plate of salt and bread, run away.

Narayanan said...

Send Sacha Baron Cohen as his proxy

Humperdink said...

Inga said: ".... He showed just how petty and spiteful he was by raising the flag from half staff to full staff prematurely...."

As follower of all things political, the use of the word "petty" strikes a chord with me. I have watched the self-proclaimed Maverick (gag me) over the years and if there is one word to describe McCain it is petty.

mccullough said...

Under the US Code, the flag is flown at half staff on the day of death and the day following the death of a senator.

Since McCain is of the American Nobility, the people who believe in American Nobility want it at half staff for longer.

I guess the Illumanati will let us know when it’s ok to raise the flag to full staff again.

The rules don’t apply to the American Nobility.


Anthony said...

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...
When you don't want to be there. Period.

Disagree. You're not ten and it's not a birthday party. Weddings are funerals are not designed to entertain you. Your presence there is to express support, love, caring and participation in a major milestone for a person you care about and/or have ties to. Grownups understand this.

I don't 'want' to do about 500 things every day. Sucks being an adult sometimes. But if I want people to give a shit about me and my family, I should probably attempt to give a shit about them and their families.


Exactly. Perfectly said.

tim in vermont said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt Sablan said...

"Do you recall what the big outrages were a month ago? Two months ago?"

-- I remember feeding fish too fast and throwing a hat at someone.

Then I remember those not being that outrageous.

Look: I don't even LIKE Trump. But the effort people go through to find things to dislike is astounding. He's flawed enough without having to amp it up to 11.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

A good time to blow off a wedding or funeral, and other such occasions is when your actual presence will not necessarily be an enhancement to the event. You even may want to go but to be there might be awkward, inconvenient, bring up bad or uncomfortable memories.

For instance my first husband, father of my child, passed away recently. We were divorced about 27 years ago. It was pretty ugly. He had since remarried, as had I. My daughter and her children went to the funeral. Many of my friends from those many years ago were there and asked about me. While I would have liked to have seen those people again and support my daughter in her grief, I felt that given the circumstances my presence would be highly inappropriate, untimely and downright rude.

If you don't know the deceased all that well, why are you going at all? If the deceased and you didn't get along.....stay the heck away.

Ralph L said...

We expected my late step-monster's equally narcissistic sister to make a scene at her funeral and asked the funeral director to get her out if she did. She didn't, but she did bring her walker to show off how ill she was.

I once new a woman surnamed Hopper who married (briefly) a man named Foote. She bounced off this mortal coil some years ago.

Do we know if Melania is invited?

mikee said...

In the US, the VP has as an unofficial but regularly performed duty the attendance at politically important funerals. Pence is fulfilling that duty for the administration.

As to attending when your absence is requested specifically, there is always enough time after the internment to dance on the grave of one's fellow humans. I suggest Trump follow the lead of John Belushi in this, regarding McCain. https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/dont-look-back-in-anger/n8660

langford peel said...

The President should not honor McCain by going to his funeral. He should have stuck to his guns and followed the exact procedure for lowering the flag after the death of a Senator. One day after his death. No more no less.

McCan deserves exactly the same consideration he had for the people of Arizonia when he left them without a Senator for nine months.

DanTheMan said...

If my wife's lover showed up at her funeral, there would be second funeral shortly thereafter.

tim in vermont said...

When the stiff was a supercilious prick?

robother said...

If anything could reanimate John McCain, it would be Trump showing up at his funeral. (Like many Scot-Irish I have known, the man lived for his grudges.) That would be the most compassionate thing Trump could do.

Rabel said...

I'm still looking for any evidence that McCain "disinvited" Trump. I've seen contrary evidence from family members.

Narayanan said...

Trump should have submitted Flag Code question to SC to clarify which choice would be obstruction of justice

JackWayne said...

Being such a Big Lebowski fan, shouldn’t you have embedded this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u44D3qKKGPU

Narayanan said...

Flipping the question ... Who'll blow off Trump's funeral?

Sara D said...

It looks like The President and the First Lady are not attending the funeral

https://eu.azcentral.com/story/opinion/op-ed/joannaallhands/2018/08/27/trump-wont-attend-john-mccain-funeral-good/1114932002/


What Trump said in a statement

"Despite our differences on policy and politics, I respect Senator John McCain’s service to our country and, in his honor, have signed a proclamation to fly the flag of the United States at half-staff until the day of his interment.

"I have asked Vice President Mike Pence to offer an address at the ceremony honoring Senator McCain at the United States Capitol this Friday.

"At the request of the McCain family, I have also authorized military transportation of Senator McCain’s remains from Arizona to Washington, D.C., military pallbearers and band support, and a horse and caisson transport during the service at the United States Naval Academy.

"Finally, I have asked General John Kelly, Secretary James Mattis, and Ambassador John Bolton to represent my Administration at his services."

I also heard this on"Daily Brifing" with Dana Perino at 2pm

tim in vermont said...

A sports network would have just reported the words, but as a water carrying member of the anti-Trump alliance, ESPN/ABC/Disney has to weigh in:

ESPN’s Max Kellerman said Monday on “First Take” that Tiger Woods’ response to questions about President Trump made him “angry.” Woods was asked after the final round of The Northern Trust on Sunday about his relationship with Trump and urged people to respect the office of the president. “He’s the president of the United States. You have to respect the office. No matter who is in the office, you may like, dislike personality or the politics, but we all must respect the office,”

I tell you what, Trump earns my respect for withstanding this crapola from everybody from the back-stabbing star of the funeral who had a part in promulgating the discredited dossier, which of course, McCain believed whole-heartedly on account of he wanted to believe it, to purported “sports” networks.

tim in vermont said...

and a horse and caisson transport during the service at the United States Naval Academy.

Where do they keep those caissons? The same warehouse where they keep the Ark of the Covenant?

Ralph L said...

I have asked General John Kelly, Secretary James Mattis, and Ambassador John Bolton to represent my Administration at his services.

OMG!!!! For a few hours, Trump will be in total charge of the nation's security apparatus!

I thought he was being cremated. Does that mean only one horse and a buggy?

Rabel said...

"Where do they keep those caissons?

Ft. Myer, Virginia

rehajm said...

ESPN’s Max Kellerman said Monday on “First Take” that Tiger Woods’ response to questions about President Trump made him “angry.”

Woods must be full of remorse and regret for offending...who?...Kellerman? Is that what counts as influential on air personality at ESPN now? Almost makes me miss Olbermann, God rest his soul...

Chuck said...

Narayanan Subramanian said...
Flipping the question ... Who'll blow off Trump's funeral?


I want very much to attend Trump's funeral. I have a busy week this week through Friday, and I have plans for the Labor Day weekend including the Michigan @ Notre Dame football game Saturday night and a parade on Labor Day. Any time on Tuesday or the rest of next week will work for me.

langford peel said...

I am reporting you to the Secret Service for wishing for the. Presidents death.

Ralph L said...

They had a bagpiper at the end of my dad's best friend's service inside the Fort Myer Chapel. It was really painful to my ears and unexpected.

As he and his brother-in-law had disappeared in a plane over Alaska, it was a year later and body-less, which didn't give the military pallbearers much to do, and now I can't remember what did happen outside. Perhaps I was still in shock from the noise, I know I was more upset during the service than a year before when there was still hope.

One was USNA, the other USMA, same class year, who married sisters.

stevew said...

Your example is not equivalent to Trump's situation with McCain.

A simple approach and thought process could be this: Trump decides that he was unfair to McCain in the past, his behavior totally justified McCain's rejecting of him, and he thinks it would set things right to publicly say so and honor McCain by showing him the respect of attending his funeral. No speeches, nothing but sober and somber attendance.

-sw

langford peel said...

This is the link to report Chuck for his threats against the President.

If enough of us report him maybe they will take action.

Freeman Hunt said...

Heh. For me, there's an ad in the sidebar right now for a sweatshirt that says, "Sorry I'm late. I didn't want to come."

Freeman Hunt said...

(More evidence that you shouldn't worry about the incredible power of AI: lately half the ads I've received have been for helicopter service from Manhattan to JFK or the Hamptons. And now sweatshirts with words. Who is this person that they are advertising to?)

Inga...Allie Oop said...

“I am reporting you to the Secret Service for wishing for the. Presidents death.”

And they’ll laugh in your face, because undoubtedly there are millions of people who would be relieved if he dropped dead.

D 2 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jim at said...

He showed just how petty and spiteful he was by raising the flag from half staff to full staff prematurely.

Protocol is half-mast on the day of death and the following day. That would be Saturday and Sunday. Which is precisely what he did.

This was pointed out to you yesterday and now you're lying about it again.
Bald-faced lying. Again.

Liar.

Freeman Hunt said...

Oh, and many, many ads for a Glowforge, which looks pretty cool. So maybe you can not show up, say the helicopter didn't make it, and send them a coupon for a free sweatshirt with words and a sweet lamp you made with your Glowforge.

Fandor said...

Jerry Lewis attended Dean Martin’s son, Dino’s funeral, without making any fanfare about it, just as another mourner. Dean noticed and it lead to reconciliation after many years of animosty between the two. Love won the day. No love lost between the big egos of McCain and Trump, but respect for the lives and accomplishments of could.

rcocean said...

"I'm still looking for any evidence that McCain "disinvited" Trump."

Why don't you just google it.

Liar.

Inga...Allie Oop said...

“Protocol is half-mast on the day of death and the following day. That would be Saturday and Sunday. Which is precisely what he did.”

Flags flown at half staff at the White House traditionally remain at half-staff through the day of interment, unless you’re Trump and full of spite and envy. Interesting how Trump caved to outrage from Veterans and others and then lowered the flag once again.

Try not to be such a revolting sycophant.

DKWalser said...

I don't think any of us know how John McCain really felt about the prospect of Trump attending his funeral. I've had several clients die after long bouts with cancer. To say that the combination of the drugs, pain, stress, and exhaustion took a toll on their personalities would be a severe understatement. Many would often lash out at those around them, only to become remorseful soon after (once the pain meds kicked in). So, IF John McCain actually expressed a desire for Trump to stay away from his funeral, was that that a considered desire or just the pain talking?

tcrosse said...

Inga wants the flag to fly at half-staff as long as Trump is President. Upside down, if possible.

Hammond X. Gritzkofe said...

It is a win-win. Trump is unburdened from attending a tedious event. The world has an opportunity to see McCain as the ungracious asshole he is.

gg6 said...

Althouse, Althouse,, what were you smoking when you conjured this 'plausible analysis and conclusion'?!!
And what were you drinking when you conjured up Pres. Trump "quietly, finding a seat in the back of the McCain funeral...?!
Just get back to writing that novel that's obviously itching inside you... :-)

tim in vermont said...

He failed a lot but he never quit. - Lindsey Graham

Poor judgement and an iron will.

stevew said...

This thread has devolved into a focus on petty and, to me, imperceptible slights.

-sw

tim in vermont said...

https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/08/white-house-flag-placement-after-mccains-death-perfectly-in-accordance-with-the-u-s-flag-code.html

tim in vermont said...

What Trump didn’t realize was that as a dead Republican, Democrats are now foursquare in McCain’s camp, so you can expect the press to “flood the zone” as they used to call it.

Rabel said...

"Why don't you just google it."

I did. And I see media claims that it happened, and a family claim that it didn't.

Many people here seem quite sure about it, so I could be missing it.

wildswan said...

A regular person could go and "just slip in the back." But what is regular these days? I went to a wedding where the mere fact I was a Trump supporter was so controversial that a policy on how to speak to me had to be decided on - there was a fight anyhow but only after as the drinks began to flow. As a result I think that if your presence is going to be controversial the family should know you are coming so the correct attitude can be determined in advance and the ceremony remains correctly focused. COEXIST is so yesterday.

Trump could not slip in. His presence would alter the whole entire service due to Secret Service constraints and it would take over the meaning of the service. So if it is Trump/ McCain we are talking about - what about a televised eulogy? But I think the McCains would not want a Trump eulogy and would seize on the opportunity to insult Trump. So just leave it to the McCains to bury their husband, father with some dignity.

Rabel said...

P.S., rcocean, I don't mind you calling me a liar. That's not a problem and may be correct or not as a general rule, but in this instance I didn't make any statement that would qualify as lie or non-lie, so reload and fire again unless you're saying that I lied about not seeing evidence, which wouldn't really be worth the effort.

And give me a link, please. Educate me as to the facts so I can become a better-informed person.

roesch/voltaire said...

Trump is always looking for deferment whether from the draft or from protocol to,the usual norms the nation expects.

tim in vermont said...

Trump is always looking for deferment whether from the draft or from protocol to,the usual norms the nation expects.

Could the professor be bothered to read up on the protocol? I provided a link for you to noted right-wing rag Slate. It’s only a “national day of mourning” to people who want to use McCain to attack Trump.

I am certain you voted against him when you had the chance. I voted for him. He sold out the people who voted for him.

Gospace said...

It's going to turn into a Wellstone funeral. Never Trumpers won't be able to help themselves. The spectacle will backfire bigly and once again they won't understand why.

stevew said...

"It’s only a “national day of mourning” to people who want to use McCain to attack Trump."

As is most everything these days.

-sw

roesch/voltaire said...

Tim tell that to the Vets who protested Trump’s actions

tim in vermont said...

Tim tell that to the Vets who protested Trump’s actions

So some anti-Trump vets protested and now the protocol has magically changed? Did the text change on the papers, like a Harry Potter movie?

Gospace said...

Inga...Allie Oop said...
Trump should do the honorable thing and not attend any of Senator McCain’s funeral events, as Senator McCain and his family requested. He showed just how petty and spiteful he was by raising the flag from half staff to full staff prematurely


Another idiot comment by an ignoramus not familiar with U.S. Flag code.
https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/4/
Relevant line from U.S. Code: "and on the day of death and the following day for a Member of Congress."

Day of death Saturday. Day after Sunday. McCain was no one special, just another dead member of congress. White House has a protocol office to handle these things. They follow the written rules unless otherwise directed. No one asked or consulted POTUS. It's beneath his notice.

Howard said...

Our local flags have been lowered most of the summer in respect for the dead from the global warming caused firestorms Trump failed to prevent when he approved keystone pipedream

cronus titan said...

I looked to see if President Bush attended Paul Wellstone's funeral in 2002 for an historical comparison. President Bush did not, and Ari Fleischer, White House press secretary, stated that "If you take a look at the historical record of when a sitting Senator dies in office, no the President will not go."

Also significant is that the Wellstone family made a pointed request that Vice President Cheney not attend the funeral.

https://www.nytimes.com/2002/10/29/politics/at-request-of-wellstones-cheney-will-not-attend-memorial.html

D 2 said...

I received your non-invitation yesterday
About the time the flagpole broke
You told me not to come a'mourning
Was that some kind of joke
All these People that you mention
Yes I know them they are quite lame
So I rode an escalator and give them all bad nicknames
Right now I can't read too good
Guess I'll make it all up as I go
And in three days time they'll report another
Horrid Trump No-no.

tim in vermont said...

“Follow normal protocol” - Shorter McCain to Trump regarding his funeral.

Gospace said...

roesch/voltaire said...
Tim tell that to the Vets who protested Trump’s actions


I retired from active duty after 21 years active Naval service. I didn't protest. There are some vets who are anti-Trump and will protest anything they can. I don't GAS about them. Protocol is protocol. Anyone and everyone who's served honorably knows that- or shouldn't be so ignorant that publicly display their ignorance by showing they aren't familiar with. Military personnel should be especially familiar with flag protocol. Why the flag is raised quickly and lowered slowly, and the following isn't a misprint- figure it out- why the flag is never raised to half mast. Never.

Freeman Hunt said...

McCain vs. Trump is a perfect example of fake news in the sense of telling people to care about something inconsequential and stupid.