July 25, 2018

"We need to drink the red liquid from the cursed dark sarcophagus in the form of some sort of carbonated energy drink so we can assume its powers and finally die"

... says a petition at change.org that has 16,000+ signatures, according to "Scientists identify mystery liquid in Egyptian sarcophagus/A POOL of murky, red liquid found around three mummies in an Egyptian sarcophagus has been analysed by scientists."
Horrifying images of a trio of skeletons floating in the murky soup led to rumours the “mummy juice” contained medicinal or supernatural properties, with locals anxious to bottle the stuff....

Authorities... revealed the liquid was neither “juice for mummies that contains an elixir of life” nor “red mercury” but something far more pedestrian — sewage water.
As if the "authorities" would tell us if it were the elixir of life. I say bottle "the murky soup" and let people buy it. And caveat emptor... or however you say that in Archaic Egyptian.
ADDED:

25 comments:

Nonapod said...

Dr Waziri said it was unlikely the remains found this week belonged to any notable members of the Ptolemaic dynasty (332BC-30BC) associated with Alexander the Great, or the subsequent Roman era.

Not that I doubt his doubt, but I wish he explained why he dismisses that possibility.

Paul said...

Dunno about 'assuming powers' but you may very well die from it.

Lots of luck.

tcrosse said...

I want some for my Mindfulness Jar.

rehajm said...

Sounds like the grotto at the Playboy mansion

Bob Boyd said...

Power washer.

Henry said...

Bottle the murky soup and let Goop sell it.

MikeR said...

New idea? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mummia "This began a period of lucrative trade between Egypt and Europe, and suppliers substituted rare mummia exudate with entire mummies, either embalmed or desiccated. After Egypt banned the shipment of mummia in the 16th century, unscrupulous European apothecaries began to sell fraudulent mummia prepared by embalming and desiccating fresh corpses."
Lunch, anyone?

gspencer said...

Gary Larson nails it again,

"OK, lets see . . .That's a curse on you, a curse on you and a curse on you."

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/403705554073849089/

Unknown said...

Whatever it was, it didn't do much good for the mummies.

Yancey Ward said...

If you drink the Mummy Juice, you will be able to prove Trump colluded with Putin.

Bob Boyd said...

Mummy squeezin's.

narayanan said...

I say - "Give it to HE>>R"

bring HE>>R out every four years and run for Pharaoh-ess every 4 years.

Horror movie + groundhogday

BarrySanders20 said...

These people have mummy issues.

Darrell said...

Every Lefty at Change.org should consume a gallon of that liquid if they truly want to defeat Trump. It is truly the koolaid prophetized by Nostradamus.

Infinite Monkeys said...

That sounds like an internet joke. There may be a few people who believe, but I bet most of them just think it's hilarious to sign the petition, especially when news organizations start reporting on people wanting to drink "mummy juice".

etienne said...

Any Okie could tell you by the smell, it was crap.

We are 100% able to sniff out crap. We don't have any crap-challenged people here.

Char Char Binks, Esq. said...

Praise Kek and pass the mummy juice.

D 2 said...

Then the coffin was open and red liquid appeared
That shit was strong, and I retched in fear.
The smart ones flew when the mummy came near, saying:
Come on baby (Don't be afraid)
Don't fear the juice. (And she ran to him)
Don't fear the juice. (And they started to drink...)
Don't fear the juice. (Baby I'm your mannnnn.)

etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
etienne said...

Fear the juice on Ukulele

Leland said...

And people wonder how Jim Jones pulled it off.

Unknown said...

Murky Soup. LOL I throw all kinds of stuff in and take what i can get.

Towering Barbarian said...

I can't help but feel that anyone who would drink red liquid from a coffin would probably have pallid skin, no reflection in any mirror, an aversion to garlic and a fear of the Cross as well! ^_~

Rick67 said...

I haven't studied Hieroglyphic Egyptian since 1987 but here goes:

k3.f i3.t (or i3t) im pt (impt?) w3r

And that's all I got. Way out of practice and don't have my copy of Gardiner of Faulkner with me right now. Where did you get this text?

Rick67 said...

His ka is in heaven (? something like that) and I'd have to look up w3r