July 9, 2018

"bold, courageous, beautifying, radiant and captivating when there’s a story and based on a conversation that led up to it. It’s not just an image. It shows an element of trust."

A man rhapsodizes about the photo of a "full-frontal bare vulva" texted to him by his his 24-year-old girlfriend. Quoted in The New York Times in "The Selfie That Dares to Go There/Men are not the only ones texting pictures of their private parts."

Much of the article is about how to take a good "v-selfie":
“Snapchat filters banish blemish and razor bumps,” she said, adding that when she gets really fancy she uses Photoshop. “My mother is a photographer — lights and background are everything. Sometimes filters can make the ‘v’ look shaved even if it’s been two days and you’re stubbly. You want your ‘v’ to look good, so whatever light, filter, position will make your ‘v’ look best, that’s the one you should use. I use it as a narrative, as if you’re telling a story. It’s an aspect of that, it’s not just a vagina.”
I was going to say the use of "v" was a convenience for those who know the correct word is "vulva" but feel they ought to say "vagina" to fit in with those who don't.
Lexi Stout, 27 and the executive director at VSpot Medi Spa on Madison Avenue, which provides grooming services for the nether regions, has flashed her iPhone flora, stored in the cloud, to friends at a bar. “When I was in high school, if you had pubic hair, it was embarrassing,” Ms. Stout said....

“We’re in a generation full of people that want cosmetic improvements so they can share images,” [said adonna’s dermatologist Dr. Paul Jarrod Frank]. “I think the feeling of one’s sexuality is very much a center point of one’s image of themselves.”...

“I sit on the bed, prop the phone on a pillow and set the timer,” said [lingerie consultant Stephanie] Ms. Moreno, a petite brunette with large luminous brown eyes and tapered nails painted bright sapling-green. “It’s not just sexual, it has artistic merit and beauty. It’s sentimental and more intimate than sending my face.”
Later, a friend of the author's opines that if the woman doesn't include her face in the shot it looks "like leftovers at a cannibal dinner party."

The article descends into darkness with the discussion of women who don't "feel empowered" by taking and sending "v-selfies." A modest or revenge-porn averse woman is framed as a coward, "afraid to look at or experience their own intimate feminine beauty."
Nick, a 31-year-old software salesman and former Marine who served two combat tours in Iraq and the Republic of Georgia, brought up his girlfriend’s sexual inhibition to his PTSD therapist, who prescribed they take V-selfies over a mirror.

“She was very unsure of herself, very unconfident,” Nick said. “We didn’t have sex very often. It wasn’t something she was super-comfortable with, but I was in love with her. I was like, ‘O.K., well I guess I’ll find a way to make this no longer an issue.’”

A subsequent lover was far more overt, sending some images “including her face, which I thought was ambitious and I would advise against it, but yeah — she just wasn’t afraid.”
Wow! What happened between those last 2 paragraphs?! Did Nick dump the woman he loved because she didn't step up to the therapist-prescribed porn shoot?! Where's the #MeToo spirit now? Does it drop out of the picture whenever it interferes with some giddy theme of the joys of sex?

This article caused me to do an image search...



... I had to wonder what the hell is "sapling green," that color on the "tapered nails"?

65 comments:

MayBee said...

"Dares"

When women do it, it is brave.

MayBee said...

brought up his girlfriend’s sexual inhibition to his PTSD therapist, who prescribed they take V-selfies over a mirror.

That actually makes me mad.

rhhardin said...

It's a what to try when men have lost interest in modern women article for the NYT readers.

tim in vermont said...

Ms. Moreno, a petite brunette with large luminous brown eyes and tapered nails painted bright sapling-green. “It’s not just sexual, it has artistic merit and beauty. It’s sentimental and more intimate than sending my face.”

Yes. Sure. Because that stuff can’t be reserved for intimate times anymore, and we all know that it’s fiercely urgent that we increase the scope of judgement in our lives! You know what I always loved about the va jay jays of my intimate partners? That they were attached to the women who shared them with me.

Shouting Thomas said...

It’s there any hope that one day I will read about something a woman does that does not include a butt kissing ode to feminism?

Henry said...

There's a scene in one of James Clavell's novels in which a powerful executive (I don't remember if business or political) is found to have a dossier of v-photos of every actress in Hong Kong. Hard not to think of coercion and bribery in this context.

Henry said...

In the old days, people sat on Xerox machines and photocopied their butts. Anyone remember that?

gilbar said...

can we assume that Nick's girlfriend Dumped him, 'cause he was creepy and weird?
Fortunately, sounds like he's found a fellow pervert (or, pretends he has)

traditionalguy said...

Mean while back at the ranch, the Miss America Contestants won't even show off in a swim suit.

Talk about going to extremes. The only sex forbidden in public now is normal sex.

gilbar said...

oh, and Kids; don't forget! If you're 17,
and you take the NYT's advice that This is THE THING TO DO;
You're committing a Felony.
And if your boyfriend Opens the email; He's committed a Felony TOO!
Use this adventure to Bond together!

J. E. Malthaus said...

Could be an interesting photo to accompany tonight's Cafe post.

-LWL

gilbar said...

The Miss America Contestants won't even show off in a swim suit. Talk about going to extremes. The only sex forbidden in public now is normal sex.
They won't even show off in an EVENING GOWN! The Organizers say that "no television partner would want to be associated with a swimsuit competition, given the sensitivities of the #MeToo era."

Right! Because ONE THING that you CAN'T FIND on TV (or the internet) is Swimsuits. Maybe they need to switch channels to Skin-a-Max; Then their idea of a beauty contest without swimsuits would be more sense

etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MayBee said...

that it’s fiercely urgent that we increase the scope of judgement in our lives!

I totally agree with this. One more thing to feel social pressure about.

If people are using snap chat filters and not include their face, why not just send some stock photo? There. I have a business idea. V-Stock. A Getty Images for blemish free, anonymous hoo-ha photos women can buy and send to assuage creepy therapists.

David Begley said...

VSpot MediSpa on Madison AV in NYC has 20 reviews and a 5 star rating.

“Why try the laser vaginal tightening procedure at VSPOT?

The answer is simple…it works, no pain and no downtime! We call VSPOT’s vaginal tightening: the fountain of youth for your vagina.”

David Begley said...

Review, “VSPOT changed my life. Not only are the treatments amazing and truly help, the doctors make you feel very comfortable and at home. The space is beautiful - I can't wait to go back in for my next FemiLift!.”

David Begley said...

The VSteam is only $125!

“The client relaxes in a dimly lit room on a in a relaxing spa bed, as soft steam infused with therapeutic herbs are targeted toward nether regions. VSPOT’s proprietary formulation of herbs; basil, calendula, mugwort, marshmallow root, wormwood and rose petals is placed in a tube on the steamer which contains purified water. The herbal infused steam dilates the blood vessels to increase blood circulation by providing oxygen to the area, and in turn, relaxes the pelvic floor muscles.”

Basil?

tim in vermont said...

We desperately need a Miss America va jay jay competition. Remember, it’s not just about sex, it’s for the “artistic merit” and “beauty.”

Ralph L said...

The paint looks a lot like Benjamin Moore Palladian Blue, the color of my siding and bedroom.
I kinda like it.

Strippers say their work makes them feel powerful, but drugs/alcohol seem to be required. Dr. Drew says nearly all were damaged when young.

Roughcoat said...

Oh. "Empowering women" again.

Quaestor said...

Looks like sage to me.

h said...

I'm in my mid 60s and I'm thinking: are there things we thought were really cool in the 1970s that we now look back on and wonder: "what were we thinking?" Bell-bottoms come to mind. Barry Manilow (though personally I never fell into that trap.) Paisley? Oh yeah -- muttonchop sideburns.

Ralph L said...

I guess I’ll find a way to make this no longer an issue
By forcing her to demean herself, or by dumping her?

Bob Boyd said...

The last vulva pic I got was the last vulva pic I got.
Maybe I shouldn't have said she has the Rat Rod of vulvas.

David Begley said...

LWL

Check out the Google review of VSpot MediSpa that has a photograph of a vulva made of pink flowers. Fantastic.

When I take my putative wife to the Big East tournament, she’s getting a $125 VSteam!

tcrosse said...

When Penthouse Mag did this they included a Scratch 'n' Sniff strip.

tim in vermont said...

Could be an interesting photo to accompany tonight’s Cafe post.

I am thinking Georgia O’Keefre.

Michael K said...

There's a scene in one of James Clavell's novels in which a powerful executive (I don't remember if business or political) is found to have a dossier of v-photos of every actress in Hong Kong.

I remember that scene. I think he left town and the cops were the ones who discovered his secret office with the photo collection.

After reading his novels, I think I know why there are so many Chinese.

MadisonMan said...

A man rhapsodizes about the photo of a "full-frontal bare vulva" texted to him by his his 24-year-old girlfriend.

Of course he rhapsodizes. If he criticizes, it's back to solo sex.

Bay Area Guy said...

Deep, penetrating journalism by the NYT.....

FIDO said...

The Left jumped the shark a long time ago on breaking taboos and seeing 'art' in body parts.

And the Vagina Monologues haven't helped matters.

We are turning women into men. I guess that's the point of celebrating this.

FIDO said...

Is there any celebration of the beauty and strength of a d*** pic? No? Odd.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Much of the article is about how to take a good "v-selfie"

The advice is all horrifyingly cis-normative. Snapchat filters to remove razor bumps and stubble? What about Snapchat filters to remove penises?!?

MD Greene said...

I miss the days when people had private parts.

tcrosse said...

Yonic Narcissism makes its appearance.

Anonymous said...

The gulf between red and blue America, folks.

Fernandinande said...

I think the feeling of one’s sexuality is very much a center point of one’s naughty bits.

Sebastian said...

This just confirms that feminism is a joke the patriarchy played on women.

William said...

Slightly off topic: In the latest Lara Croft movie, Alicia Wikander swims across the river and emerges from the water without showing any pokies. This despite the fact that she's wearing an extremely tight tank top. This lack of verisimilitude took me out of the picture. For the sake of argument, I'm willing to accept that this 90 lbs woman can destroy bodybuilders in hand to hand combat, but this lack of pokies just seems ungrounded in reality as we experience it. What kind of weird hybrid of decadence and Puritanism creates a civilization where pokies are censored and pubic areas are groomed?

n.n said...

Popular reduction of women and men, girls and boys, and babies, too, to the sum of their parts and colorful clumps of cells. A progressive slope forced by cats in hats and men lounging on couches.

n.n said...

This just confirms that feminism is a joke the patriarchy played on women.

There are female chauvinists empowered by feminist ideology to exploit men, women, and babies, too, for democratic leverage, social progress, narcissistic indulgence, and secular incentives.

Rick said...

"You can make any gendered assertion you want as long as you frame the female as positive." - Random Internet Commenting Koordinator

Wince said...

Will Google/Blogger let you use post a photo of your junk as an avatar?

Darkisland said...

The answer is simple…it works, no pain and no downtime! We call VSPOT’s vaginal tightening: the fountain of youth for your vagina.”

My professional tagline has long been "We change downtime to uptime". My focus has always been on manufacturing but I am smelling a new business line here. I can expand to changing vaginal downtime (or is it vulvar downtime?) to uptime.

I can help, as the song says, to "Get that money maker working"

Ladies, send me photos for a free estimate.

John Henry

Ignorance is Bliss said...

EDH said...

Will Google/Blogger let you use post a photo of your junk as an avatar?

You mean to tell me that isn't what your avatar is a picture of?!?

~ Gordon Pasha said...

"Who Dares, Wins" or as said in ancient times, "Fortune Favors the Bold"

Cath said...

I'd guess this is more about money than sex. How many people are making tons of money off business models that rely on zillions of idiots providing sexual content essentially for free? Everyone has been getting worked up about privacy and metoo stuff lately, so it's high time to get a piece in the NYT reminding women that creatind and sharing sexual content is super cool, and reminding men to keep pressing their girlfriends to keep creating free porn for the system to monetize.

Howard said...

Snatchchat. Nick dumped Nora because she didn't put out enough

n.n said...

Eyes down here. Judge me by my... cat in the hat.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

It shows an element of trust.

Yes, it does...

Lexi Stout... has flashed her iPhone flora, stored in the cloud, to friends at a bar.

Remember, not everything that is trustable is trustworthy.
Also, there is no such thing as the cloud. There's only other people's computers.

Unknown said...

"... executive director at VSpot Medi Spa on Madison Avenue, which provides grooming services for the nether regions..."

Another booth missing from my HS career day.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

they're the safest cars on the road-- mine's got almost 350K miles on it

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

I'd be happy to text you a pic

Tina Trent said...

One of the men in the story who likes to receive photographs of women's genitals and doesn't mind if the world, his mother, and his employers know it, is a Sach Dev, described by the Times reporter as "a television news producer who writes philosophy."

I don't know which would preoccupy more: knowing that the guy at the next desk is soliciting cooch shots on his work phone or that he "writes philosophy."

ALso, why does the reporter think this is different from asking women to expose their breasts on spring break? Maybe Sach Dev could parse the difference.

It's like the Times is curating feature stories for maximum absurdity.

tcrosse said...

ALso, why does the reporter think this is different from asking women to expose their breasts on spring break?

Because people actually want to see their breasts.

MaxedOutMama said...

Oh, come on. Women are not interested in looking at vaginas. Anyone's. If a guy is, that is perhaps understandable but still a bit odd - wouldn't it be more fun to be exposed to your girlfriend's in person?

I doubt even lesbians are interested in looking at vaginas. Blah. I can imagine no greater failure in life, no greater expression of personal "emptiness" in life than worrying about photo-shopping pics of my vagina. My LORD. IF THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET A DATE THAN YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE. You are NOT doing that for yourself.

I am rather ashamed of this, but I collapsed in instant, uncontrollable laughter over the PTSD therapist proposing to treat someone's girlfriend's (not his patient, problem RIGHT THERE) supposed sexual dysfunction (reported only = PROBLEM) by taking selfies over a mirror. Yeah, like THAT'S gonna turn her on. I'm sure she dumped his ass. Guy needs a better therapist, or more likely, to learn to stop lying. Previous girlfriend is going to change her name and move to Alaska or something after this article appears.

That the above scenario appears in the above article in the NYT EXEMPLIFIES everything that is wrong with our culture, psychotherapy, our ideas about sexual/romantic relationships, and wrong with the NYT.

In hopes of more laughs (I resigned myself to being an awful person today) I read the entire article, and it was hilarious. We have a profile of a business devoted to spiffing up your "v" so that you can apparently feel better about your media profile. And the owner of that emporium is quoted
“The human body is beautiful and women need to embrace that everybody’s vagina looks different, just like every face looks different and every hand looks different, and to embrace their beauty,” she said."

Embrace your natural beauty and go for the labial injections. Next they'll botox it.

We have reached peak effing insanity, and I bet the NYT is going out of business. I bet this is really a paid ad for that business.

MaxedOutMama said...


Blogger Sebastian said...
This just confirms that feminism is a joke the patriarchy played on women.

Yeah, it does. We've come full circle and taught the new breed of women that not only are they their vaginas, but they need to spend a lot of money making sure that thing measures up to standard.



n.n said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oso Negro said...

@MaxedOutMama - What standard might the NYT propose to measure vaginas?

Rich, but not ranging to tangy or tart or Zesty. Orifice tension mild to stunning. Depth and warmth adequate. Presentation demure to bold. Color drunk-tank pink to lusty-gallant, but not incarnadine.

n.n said...

Oso Negro:

You, sir, are a coital connoisseur. Are the color, flavor, and body affected by the soil, air, and other environmental factors during conception? Throughout pregnancy? At birth? What vintage would you recommend? As with all things organic, the quality improves with age up to a point.

n.n said...

A cat in the hat without intimacy and "burden" is objectively (pun intended) a fetish. It shows an element of self-indulgence that is worthy of a selfi... sh.

eddie willers said...

Basil?

Enrico had the night off.

Oso Negro said...

@ n.n. - We all need something to do. Some people like football or collecting stamps. Yes, all these factors can affect the presentation of the finished product. I just married for the third time. My new bride is 27. At the age of 19, the average age of women I dated was 26. Forty years later, it was the same. It seems I need the energy and enthusiasm. If I need intellectual stimulation, I can read a book, or Althouse.

Howard said...

Blogger tcrosse said...
When Penthouse Mag did this they included a Scratch 'n' Sniff strip.


Millennial kids would call that a smellfy

Nancy Reyes said...

what kind of a therapist would insist the non married partner of a mentally ill person submit to something that makes her feel uncomfortable?

Sounds like the type of therapist who would approve of Harvey Weinstein, saying those women who didn't submit were sexually frigid and needed to get rid of their sexual hangups.

We were taught this by psychiatrists in medical school 40 years ago, along with the idea that if adults had sex with kids they'd have less mental illness due to repressed sexuality, and that we shouldn't report incest because it would break up the family.

And exactly how would this help the anxiety and flashbacks from PTSS?