John Brown was an elite bodybuilder, and after his career building bulk professionally wound down, he and his wife Miriam — whom he chose for what he calls “selective breeding” — had three sons.
John was an art major at Cal State Fullerton who still works as an artist; one work of one of a gladiator with an eyeball for a head stabbing a tiger hangs upstairs. Since before he had kids he has been determined to pour his creative energy into his offspring: Whether sons or daughters, they would be premier athletes. When he met Miriam at a 1987 fitness trade show in Cologne, Germany, she held a degree in physical therapy and stood 5’ 9”. “You’ve got to fall in love with the right woman,” John says. “I can love a little woman as well as I can a tall one. You’ve got to get the right one that’s thick and strong.”...Equanimous is the oldest, while Amon-Ra Julian Heru and Osiris Adrian Amen-Ra are also athletes. Osiris currently plays at Stanford while Amon-Ra will play at USC next season. The names of all of the brothers are so they’ll be distinctive — and they certainly are — should they achieve athletic superstardom....
April 29, 2018
"Familiarize yourself with this name: Equanimeous Tristan Imhotep J. St. Brown."
"[H]e’s just been drafted by the Green Bay Packers... To understand his name requires a lesson in his father and his mother’s grand plan to build a sporting family":
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Oh my goodness the Key and Peele sketch is real.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gODZzSOelss
That’s the first thing I thought of too. Life mirrors art.
Those kids being groomed by a parent for a sports career often get screwed up. A good example is Todd Marinovich, who was groomed by his father, Marv Marinovich, a former USC lineman.
At USC he was known to the other students (including my older son) as "Marajuanavich." He got into drugs early and his college career which began as promising, deteriorated. He went to the NFL but was never successful.
We'll see if any of these kids do anything worth the name.
They could start the US version of the silly party.
Monty Python prophesies always come true. Over and over.
It’s like the guy who named his son “Tiger” with the plan that he would be a ferocious golfer. Tiger went on to be a golf sensation who was left of the green on 16 at the Masters and made a spectacular 50 ft chip that hung on the lip for a couple of seconds with the Nike swoosh in a made-for-tv closeup..and dropped in for a birdie.
Tiger’s wife, Elin, later chased him out of the house hitting him with a 7 iron when she discovered that Tiger had been behaving like an animal. When the police interviewed her about the incident, she was asked how many times she hit Tiger with that 7 iron. She said “Oh, I swung at his cheating ass 4 or maybe 5 times. Gimme a 4.”
- Krumhorn
Piffle. Those aren’t memorable names! Chuck name his kids Fucktrump, Reamtrump, and Gagtrump. THOSE are memorable names.
Chuck has kids?
“I can love a little woman as well as I can a tall one. You’ve got to get the right one that’s thick and strong...."
He loves strong butts and he cannot lie.
-4CP
Let me guess, he's black.
If he was called "Apple" - I'd guess white.
Someone should tell him that all of the pagan Egyptian false gods that he named his kids after all ended up as dust and bones.
If he was called "Apple" - I'd guess white.
Or, for that matter, Lourde. And then there’s Rumer, Scout, and Tallulah.
- Krumhorn
Does all that fit on his drivers license?
And who can forget Chastity ...which creates a cognitive dissonance at many levels.
- Krumhorn
It’s like the guy who named his son “Tiger” with the plan that he would be a ferocious golfer.
Are you referring to the guy who named his son "Eldrick"? And who later acquired a nickname -- like many people -- a nickname given in honor of a family friend who also had that nickname years before him?
Blacks are usually named after prescription drugs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue4m_2F8vJc
He also knew that the answer to "skinny women can do this for you" is "not a damn thing."
So what has Sire Brown done that Archie Manning did not do? Manning even raised QBs, for starters.
I think the cultural appropriation of taking on things Egyptian is in bad tast as well. But if it’s all you’ve got...
“selective breeding”
So social darwinism flourishes among blacks?
Are you referring to the guy who named his son "Eldrick"? And who later acquired a nickname -- like many people -- a nickname given in honor of a family friend who also had that nickname years before him?
C’mon MarkBuzzKill! It was an opportunity to tell a great golf joke on a quiet Sunday morning.
Didja hear the one about the guy who steps up to the tee, tees up, swings and slices deep into the rough. He tees up again, swings, and hooks it into the next fairway. Cursing, he slams the ground with his driver and shouts, "I'd give anything to be a great golfer!"
Bang! Suddenly Satan is standing before him. "Are you serious about that? If you are, I'll make you the greatest golfer on earth, but you'll have to pay the price."
The golfer says, "I don't care. I'll agree to anything to play great golf." Satan nods his head and says, "Try that shot again."
The golfer tees up, swings, and hits the ball 400 yards down the middle of the fairway. After 18 holes, he has played the best game of his life and broken the club record.
The golfer goes on to beat all his friends and acquaintances at golf. He starts playing and winning against pros. Then he turns pro himself.
After a year he has won every major professional tournament. His winnings surpass Eldrick Woods's.
Twelve months to the day after he began playing phenomenal golf, the golfer happens to be standing again at the same tee on the same course.
Bang! Satan appears, with a sly smile on his face.
The golfer drops his driver, rushes over and shakes the Devil's hand with both of his, exclaiming, "You won't believe how great my life has been since I last saw you! I cannot thank you enough for what you've done for me!"
Satan is shocked by the golfer's behavior. He says, "You've been playing the best golf on earth for the past year, right?"
"Yes," says the golfer, "and my life is grand!"
"But surely you've noticed that your life has changed for the worse in other ways, haven't you?"
The golfer thinks a moment and says, "No, I can't say that I have."
Satan, hardly able to contain himself, sputters, "What about your sex life?! How many times have you had sex in the past year?!"
"Once or twice," says the golfer.
"And you don't think that's unusual?!"
"I don't know," says the golfer. "That's not bad for a priest with a small parish."
- Krumhorn
Had to stop reading after "incredibly unique." It's either a unique name or a very uncommon name. Is journalism now the safety major for those who can't get into teachers college?
"Familiarize yourself with this name: Equanimeous Tristan Imhotep J. St. Brown."
I’ll wait until he makes the team.
Has anyone told this guy what the Egyptians thought about Black people?
Suprisingly, the most popular names for black babies, especially boys, are quite white.
LaVar Ball
Equanimous is the oldest, while Amon-Ra Julian Heru and Osiris Adrian Amen-Ra are also athletes. Osiris currently plays at Stanford while Amon-Ra will play at USC next season.
I wonder if he will walk like an Egyptian .
- Krumhorn
I'd heard the priest story before and it is a good one. I heard it as Satan appearing in the rough, though.
I like the one about the two guys putting just as a funeral goes by.
One guy stops putting and takes his hat off until it is past.
The other guy says, "That is the nicest thing I've seen you do."
The other guy puts his hat on and putts out. Then he says, "Well I was married to her for 43 years. It was the least I could do."
"Are you referring to the guy who named his son "Eldrick"?"
Wasn't "Tiger" his father's Cambodian/South Vietnamese army buddy?
The story is actually even more insane. The Mom is a German, and was an athlete in her own right. Apparently she was responsible for academics and so all three brothers are trilingual and pretty much Straight A students.
Last Fall, I saw Amon-Ra St. Brown and the mighty Mater Dei Monarchs absolutely destroy long-term powerhouse De La Salle in te California high school championship football game.
He's going to USC, the QB is going to USC, the entire team looked like a D1 college team. Nobody could stop St. Brown. It was quite awesome.
Remember Todd Marinovich??
His Dad wanted to create the Frankenstein QB. Oddly, Todd had other ideas.
His sister is Chlamydia.
Dr. K remembers!!
Charles Lindbergh chose Anne Morrow as good breeding stock. Then he got involved with Nazis.
Five names, but the J. is never elaborated. It stands as a hook in the middle of the name.
Sounds like a Freemason team named for the Egyptian gods. Which kid gets #33?
Attempts to use one's children to build a dynasty usually don't end as the parents intended.
One profession where children and grandchildren can carry on a "dynasty" appears to be acting on the screen. I suppose that this has more to do with the nature of the profession than the fact that acting talent is heritable. Put another way, if you have a famous name & parents who can open doors for you, that is more of an advantage in seeking an acting career than having outstanding talent. If Colin Hanks had never been born, someone else would be acting the roles he has played.
Blogger madAsHell said...
Dr. K remembers!!
I've had SC season tickets since 1956 with a couple of years out for the Air Force.
I remember Todd and Larry Smith very well, neither with much affection.
SC drove off John Robinson and Pete Carroll, then struggled for years to get the program ship righted.
I hope these kids succeed in athletics because with those names they are never going to get a shot at the real world.
I find having equanimeous and Imhotep in the same name somewhat jarring.
Bay Area Guy said...
Last Fall, I saw Amon-Ra St. Brown and the mighty Mater Dei Monarchs absolutely destroy long-term powerhouse De La Salle in te California high school championship football game.
----------------------------------------
Have to chuckle at the irony of an Amon-Ra playing for Catholic high school.
THere's still a lot I want to know: Does equanimeous mean something? Is the St. part prounced "saint" as in "saint brown" or is in anglicized to "sin" as in "St. John = sinjin" or is it prounced "est" or "stuh" or something like that? What does the J. stand for (and how is it pronounced)? For an article that promises the background to the name, this falls far short.
^6th round pick
6'5"
214 lbs
Notre Dame
19 POS RK
139 OVR RK
64 GRADE
Pre-Draft Analysis
St. Brown has the speed to threaten vertically and the toughness to make plays over the middle. He grades out as a future starter who contributes as a slot receiver while he develops.
Where did he get drafted? Based on the stories, I would pick him even if he never played at Notre Dame in his years at the school. The father seems a bit weird, but the mother sounds like the real force.
I guess "Bart Starr" was already taken.
buwaya said...
Chuck has kids?
Chuck touches kids.
Has anyone gotten Barkevious Mingo or D'Brickashaw Ferguson's thoughts on this matter?
If you really want your kid to stand out these days you give them a dignified, Anglo-Saxon, Western Civ-kind of name. Merited or not, those names will trigger subliminal assurances of decency and integrity among the the jumble of ridiculous faux-African, faux-cowboy, outlandish Old Testament, and flat out made up garbage names that haunt the roll calls of today’s kindergartens.
“The black is a better athlete to begin with because he’s been bred to be that way, because of his high thighs and big thighs that goes up into his back, and they can jump higher and run faster because of their bigger thighs and he’s bred to be the better athlete because this goes back all the way to the Civil War when during the slave trade … the slave owner would breed his big black to his big woman so that he could have a big black kid.”
I hope my first grandson is named Barkevious.
The Packers once drafted a kid named Muhammed-Kabeer Olanrewaju Gbaja-Biamila.
They quickly shortened it to KGB, and I suspect they'll do something similar with this gentleman.
h wrote: There's still a lot I want to know: Does equanimeous mean something?
One can be reasonably sure that the parents were aiming at equanimity, or more precisely its adjective form, but missed the spelling a bit. Oh well, orthography is a dying discipline, it seems, along with the rest of Western civilisation (Fuck it! Civilisation, period.)
Actually, as names given to African-American children, it's a gargantuan step upward toward something more inspiring than Ta-Nishi, unconventional spelling notwithstanding. It keeps with a time-honored tradition among radical Protestants, who typically eschewed saints' names for theological reasons, to name their offspring after the moral graces — Chastity, Humility, Charity, Courage, Fortitude, and the like.
If Equanimeous's career becomes a paean to equanimity — evenness of mind especially under stress — I shall be a fan, though I generally deride the Packers, weened as I was on the exploits of their arch-rivals, the old Baltimore Colts. God knows the NFL could use an elephantine dose of equanimity followed by an ocean of castor oil.
Is journalism now the safety major for those who can't get into teachers college?
We used to dream of living in a corridor...
Perhaps E.T.
It's unfortunate if for all the planned breeding, this guy's first name spelling is akin to a Sharpton-ism.
What does the J stand for?
I've always liked "W. Savage Landor" because it sounds like the name a space alien would use if he/she/it were trying to pass as human.
Blogger langford peel said...
buwaya said...
Chuck has kids?
Chuck touches kids.
Along with Senator Tester.
“I can love a little woman as well as I can a tall one. You’ve got to get the right one that’s thick and strong.”
The story misspelled the word thicc.
So, what's with all this turning it into a race thing?
I don't think you should use a seven iron when attacking your husband. You don't want to shorten your swing on a shot like that. Definitely use at least a four iron. Maybe a five if you're a power hitter, but no way is it a seven iron shot........The real trick is to bring distinction to a common name such as Al Smith did.......Well, the kids are scholarship football players. None of their peers are giving them any grief about their names. I wouldn't want to be the skinny kid with glasses with names like that, however.
The three boys are fluent in German. The mother is German and grew up in Germany. While in the home, she spoke to her children only in German.
I had a gym teacher who was also the school football coach and a former NFL player (I believe he only played a season or two, and wasn't a star) who said he picked his wife because she was tall, and he wanted to have tall sons who were good at football. I'm not sure if he was joking about that or not.
Anyway, the sons became decent high school players. I'm not sure if they went on to play in college, but they apparently never made any money at it, so this kind of thing doesn't always work.
So, what's with all this turning it into a race thing?
Apparently you're new around here.
Blacks are usually named after prescription drugs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue4m_2F8vJc
Back in the eighties there was a comedian, Dennis Wolfberg who had a really funny bit about the names of the kids he taught when he was teacher in the South Bronx. I used to think it was wrong for certain European countries to maintain a list of allowable names parents could name their children, now I'm leaning to maybe on this the Europeans are right.
The J stands for John (like the dad's first name) in all their names.
At least one of the kids was educated in Paris for a year to learn "proper" French. Bourgeois blacks are nothing new but as football players they certainly are.
"madAsHell said...
"Five names, but the J. is never elaborated. It stands as a hook in the middle of the name."
I assumed "J. St." stood for J Street somewhere.
He left school a year early. Big mistake but QB play was so bad at ND he must've felt he had no choice. Great pick for a sixth rounder though. Mark it: he will make the Packers and be a good one.
Friends call him Good Ol' Charlie.
Dad modeled himself after Joe Kennedy, huh?
"If you really want your kid to stand out these days you give them a dignified, Anglo-Saxon, Western Civ-kind of name. Merited or not, those names will trigger subliminal assurances of decency..."
Don't know about that.
"He's really a decent sort of chap, sort of like the elves from that book."
Blacks are better athletes and dancers because they are more advanced human beings who are not as polluted with Neanderthal genetics that have been otherwise lost to the scrapheap of evolutionary competition.
Dear Howard,
Allow me to explain the art of trolling in a few short sentences with a minimum of polysyllabic words. Briefly and most importantly the successful troll does not reveal his intellectual inferiority to those he wishes to exploit. Therefore it behooves the aspiring troll to "up his game", as it were, as to not appear incurious or uninformed.
Concernedly,
A Friend.
Blogger Howard said...
Blacks are better athletes and dancers because they are more advanced human beings
Howard is a bit weak on genetics. The left usually requires no math.
Fascinating story -- especially since Mr. Brown and Miriam Brown are so unique. I recommend the Sports Illustrated article that the sbnation article references in passing:
Meet College Football's Version of the Ball Family.
Miriam ... enrolled them in Lycee International de Los Angeles, a French academy, for elementary school. When John once grumbled that he wasn’t sure how well they truly knew French, she decided the best way to find out was to withdraw for a semester and use the tuition money to put her and the boys up in Paris, where they’d attend school with the locals. They took their SATs in English, French, and German.
Another son of an elite body builder is Tyler O'Neill, rookie outfielder for the Saint Louis Cardinals. His father was 1975's Mr. Canada. Here he is a few years later.
O'Neill is so buff he looks like a plastic action figure.
Has anyone told this guy what the Egyptians thought about Black people?
They were used to quench the steel of new swords.
On the sharecropper side of the family, I had one great-great aunt named "Queen Victoria" and a great uncle named "Carnage."
They were used to quench the steel of new swords.
An honorable, if short lived, profession. Still, I don't think that it qualifies as one of the skilled trades. Unless they changed the job title to "blacksmith's assistant."
The article doesn't say what position he plays or what name he puts on his jersey.
There's no J Street in D.C. for some reason.
Interesting how so relatively few good pro players that even make it to the pros.
There are 19,000 players ever in the history of MLB. There are three good players whose sons were very good as well (actually better): Bobby Bonds, Ken Griffey, and Cecil Fielder.
You have guys who were good whose sons made it to MLB like Tony Gwynn. And you have guys who made it to MLB but didn’t last long like Cody Bellinger’s Dad. And you have guys like Mike Trout and Kris Bryant whose dads played in the minors (but never even had a cup of coffee in MLB.
You can find similar examples in other sports.
Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf’s son is a really good baseball player. He’s going to play at USC. I can’t think of another kid whose parents were each the best at their sport.
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