November 21, 2017

"Welcome to the club. This is our pervy handshake."


AND:

IN THE COMMENTS: Bob Boyd said "The handshake was awkward because Louis CK doesn't like it when another man touches his woman."

88 comments:

Bob Boyd said...

The handshake was awkward because Louis CK doesn't like it when another man touches his woman.
Also he was a little distracted because Charlie wasn't wearing any pants.

Chuck said...

Almost as weird as this famously weird photo:

https://img.thedailybeast.com/image/upload/v1492115397/articles/2016/03/17/the-wedding-that-explains-the-election/160316-daly-trump-clinton-tease_dpubuo.jpg

Made all the weirder by the fact that Trump wanted them there so badly -- to enhance his own celebrity -- he agreed to a Clinton-related donation to get them there. And then share pervy jokes.

The Vault Dweller said...

Seems a bit premature, for Charlie Rose's sake, to call him a perv. It might just be unrequited love.

MayBee said...

I don't like putting Jeffrey Tambor in there. I know we are in a moment here, but he hasn't admitted it and it hasn't been substantiated by anyone.

Michael K said...

Poor chuck. It's seems to be some sort of Tourette's Syndrome.

Is there a chuck comment that doesn't have a Trump connection ?

Tank said...

Bob Boyd said...

The handshake was awkward because Louis CK doesn't like it when another man touches his woman.


Tank did a double take on that, and then spit out his coffee.

That sentence is funnier than everything many, many comedians have ever said.

Darrell said...

What's the difference between Chuck and a steaming turd?
I'll tell you if I find one.

The Vault Dweller said...

The problem with a lot of this recent turmoil is that it seems to conflate all 'sexual misconduct' into one canopy. This seems to me at least as a very broad category. My reaction to a lot of this, if women are so weak, why do we let them vote? This is not to condone the actions that come closer to, 'sleep with me if you want to have a career.'

rehajm said...

JUST IN: Women staff of SNL sign letter of support of Sen. Franken

So that's it. It's over then. Move along...

rhhardin said...

The good part is women saying this sort of behavior is unacceptable. Flood the zone.

Darrell said...

Is there a chuck comment that doesn't have a Trump connection ?

It's hard to say since he goes back and deletes comments of his he doesn't like on old threads. He'll never have piles.

rehajm said...

Isn't the letter of support the kind of twaddle women were trying to overcome? I guess not...

rehajm said...

Twaddle is a good Thanksgiving week word...

David Begley said...

Who is next?

rhhardin said...

The job is not done until the birth rate falls to zero.

jaydub said...

"He'll never have piles."

He is a pile.

Jason said...

Ha ha ha ha! “Claims have been made!” HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Laslo Spatula said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laslo Spatula said...

What is with the staying seated when shaking a man's hand?

Poor form.

(Yes, I know: he isn't wearing pants).

I am Laslo.

Laslo Spatula said...

Brodie: (regarding Mr. Svenning) After all he's done to you, you should still kinda stick it to him.

T.S.: How do you propose I do that?

Brodie: You stinkpalm him.

T.S.: What's a stinkpalm?

Brodie: You take your hand and stick it in your ass like this. You been walkin' all day and you're nervous, so no doubt you'll be sweaty as hell.

T.S.: You should see yourself right now, a grown man with his hand down his pants.

Brodie: Yeah I probably look like my old man. So you shake hands with the guy, "Hello Mr. Svenning how have you been?"
T.S.: What's the point?

Brodie: You know how long it takes for that smell to come off? Scrub all you want, it'll stick around for at least two days. How does he explain it to his colleagues and family? They'll think he doesn't know how to wipe his ass properly.

T.S.: Meanwhile you yourself are left with a hand that smells like shit.

Brodie: Small price to pay for the smiting of one's enemies.

I am Laslo.

Chuck said...

Darrell said...
Is there a chuck comment that doesn't have a Trump connection ?

It's hard to say since he goes back and deletes comments of his he doesn't like on old threads...

I have never once done that. I don't know where you get some of your fantasy bullshit.

You're all like a bunch of little girls, with your worship of Trump. And really -- more seriously -- you're a bunch of lying hypocrites if you are celebrating the depredations of Weinstein, Al Franken and Bill Clinton but ignoring the depredations of Bill O'Reilly, Roy Moore and Donald Trump.

I'm not excusing any of them. Not the Democrats; not the Bannonites.*


*I was going to write, "Not the Democrats; not the Republicans." But I'm having trouble with any considerable list of mainstream Republicans who've been guilty of sexual harassment. There was Bob Packwood, but that was more than 20 years ago. Bill O'Reilly, Roy Moore and Donald Trump don't count as real Republicans.

I think there's a state rep. in Arizona, and one in Ohio, both Republicans, now facing allegations. I don't know their names.

Ann Althouse said...

"I don't like putting Jeffrey Tambor in there. I know we are in a moment here, but he hasn't admitted it and it hasn't been substantiated by anyone."

Thanks for identifying that person. I couldn't figure out who that was. His own show — which desperately needs him — has kicked him out. Isn't that enough to support including him in a comic meme? Maybe the humor is in terrible taste (in the era of That's Not Funny).

Tank said...

Chuck said...

***

I'm not excusing any of them. Not the Democrats; not the Bannonites.

***


Chuck wants you to know he is better than you.

What he is is a useful idiot. We're in a war !!! Protect your own and kill the enemy.

Humperdink said...

Chuck said: "You're all like a bunch of little girls, with your worship of Trump."

No we don't Chuck, or at least I don't. I just preferred him over Hillary. He has warts, the Clintons have the plague. His demeanor leaves a lot to be desired, but considering his treatment by the media, I am willing to look past that.

Facing the headwinds from you and your ilk, his performance to date has been nothing short of spectacular.

Darrell said...

I have never once done that.

Prove it.
That's why you're always telling commenters to link to your old comments where you fellate Democrats/Lefties and defend whatever stupid thing they are doing that day. Or dump on real Republicans.

Amadeus 48 said...

Chuck--I love the Trump wedding picture. Melania's HOT!! Bill and Hillary look so happy. Three past and future POTUSes in one pic...oh, wait. And where is Bill's left hand?

Trump is saying, "I've got your number, you perv. Don't do anything I wouldn't!"

Good times. Good times.

FullMoon said...

Chuck still the only commenter to fantasize about physically harming a woman

Angel-Dyne said...

Tank: Chuck wants you to know he is better than you.

What he is is a useful idiot. We're in a war !!! Protect your own and kill the enemy.


Isn't that what he's doing?

(Trying to do, anyway.)

Lloyd W. Robertson said...

I watched quite a bit of the Mark Twain tribute to Letterman last night. Mostly very bad TV--PBS fare. There was a brief mention of Al Franken being part of the show, but I didn't see him at all. My spider sense was tingling. Did they cut him? Yes.
http://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/in-the-know/361191-franken-cut-from-lettermans-mark-twain-prize-broadcast
This may be the funniest thing in Franken's career. He's too gross to be included in a dull, milksoppy celebration of an aging TV comic. Maybe this caused them to give more time to Jimmy Walker. Remember him? God that was horrible. The show as a whole: lots of hatred of Trump. Repeated jokes about Letterman now looking like a Civil War re-enactor. So now all the re-enactors are rightly seen as evil? Confederate or Union? Didn't the Confederate Army include some "fine people"? Hollywood has had a lot to say about the haunting nobility of the "Lost Cause"--including the Weinstein film, "Cold Mountain." The PBS series on the Civil War managed to include some pseudo-constitutional bullshit about the right of states to secede. By the way, is Twain going to have to be scrubbed from the pantheon of American writers?
I don't know if anyone was actually funny except Paul Schaffer. Paraphrasing: no friendship is warmer or deeper than a show business friendship. Maybe some day Dave will tell me where he lives.

Sebastian said...

"(in the era of That's Not Funny)" to women.

Before long, we'll find out why Victorianism was so Victorian.

FullMoon said...

FullMoon said...

Tuff guy Chuck said...

Fuck you, Full Moon. I am not going to "deny it." I say again; I propose to grab Greta exactly the way that Corey grabbed Michelle. I expect Greta to be surprised and offended, and maybe even a bit frightened. Good. That's how Michelle felt, no doubt. But Greta thinks it was frivolous in Michelle's case. Again, good for me when I do it to her.

Best of all, would be to do it to Corey Lewandowski.
4/14/16, 8:18 PM

Michael K said...

Chuck said: "You're all like a bunch of little girls, with your worship of Trump."

Chuck is an interesting case. He says he is a lawyer. Would anyone want a lawyer with such little self control ?

He says he voted for Trump but every comment he posts is a slur on Trump.

He has no sense of humor.

Probably the nastiest political columnist in history was Westbrook Pegler, the Chicago Tribune columnist who hated Roosevelt, both of them.

Yet one Christmas he sent a Christmas card with a photo of him and Eleanor Roosevelt together.

That was a sense of humor. I have no idea where he got the photo as that was a long time before Photoshop.

Chuck has none.

Pugsley the Pug said...

Who would have guessed that Charlie Rose is the PR flack for the Old Boys Club?

wildswan said...

Hollywood thinks we'll come around to supporting them again because - what else can we do for entertainment? Listening to them is like watching like Imelda Marcos show off her shoes to impress us. Besides, Hollywood doesn't seem to realize that there is a multigenerational epic with a sprawling cast of characters available 24/7. It's called "The News." Snopes J Clint and his vicious wife Ribbet, the decent but ineffective Smushes dynasty, the brash brilliant challenger Ronald Triumph and then - the citizens dispossessed by well-intendedness dying in the streets from drugs, police "reforms"; the huge hidden, denied unemployment, automation, immigration; the merciless schools portraying themselves as the bunny-loving left while not teaching the blacks and silencing the Christians. It's all there and more ... and almost daily new plot twists featuring a soap-opera level of murder, sex and deceit... and all the Hollywood stars are there in cameo appearances ... and there are results, elections, that move the whole story along. And the amazing thing about this show is its "zeligness" in that we ourselves appear in it - sometimes in anonymous groups cheering Trump, sometimes as citizens being beaten by lefty thugs(sound of media cheers), sometimes as college students being assaulted by professors (sound of media cheers), sometimes as citizens being raped by Hollywood actors or groped by US Senators (sound of media silence, silence of the wolves) ... Always we're more than the soundbite clowns from flyover to which we had been reduced. The flat screen curves out and we're inside the story. In the mainstream news we aren't there at all yet. There's no there there where we are. We're just the shadow icon in place of a picture. But in "The News" which is the sum of mainstream and alt news, the fact that the mainslime media doesn't cover us or distorts us is a vital part of the story as Rush has taught us to see, as Trump points out on Twitter. How can Hollywood compete?

Mac McConnell said...

Pugsley the Pug

I was surprised by Charlie Rose, thought he didn't have it in him to be attracted to females.

Jim R. said...

Blogger Darrell said...
What's the difference between Chuck and a steaming turd?
I'll tell you if I find one.

11/21/17, 7:10 AM

The steam?

tim in vermont said...

Chuck is like a rodeo clown. Every time a story veers towards a Democrat, LLR is there to take the focus off of them and steer it at Trump. But he's not trying to help the Democrats.

Biotrekker said...

Well played, Bob Boyd, well played....

Amadeus 48 said...

Where is Bill's left hand?

Upon further review, it appears that Melania has it in a vice-like grip in front of her, presumably to keep it from wandering to her bottom or her breast, an excellent blocking move by a beautiful woman who undoubtedly suffered constant groping attempts in the course of her modeling career. Melania 1, Bill 0.

exiledonmainstreet said...

Bob Boyd, I (figuratively) tip my hat to you, sir.

tim in vermont said...

Charlie was just trying to show her that he was hung to his knees. The problem was that it was his balls

Darrell said...

Where are the charges by women against the powerful women in Hollywood, the fashion industry including the fashion press, and modeling agencies? The little tidbits we have heard usually involve humiliation and domination---far worse than just watching Louie jack off. If this is fair and random, you'd expect to hear about abusive women, too.

Leslie Graves said...

https://apologygenerator.com/

Bruce Hayden said...

“The problem with a lot of this recent turmoil is that it seems to conflate all 'sexual misconduct' into one canopy. This seems to me at least as a very broad category. My reaction to a lot of this, if women are so weak, why do we let them vote? This is not to condone the actions that come closer to, 'sleep with me if you want to have a career.'”

The lynching of Charlie Rose may be the jumping of the shark. Several of the accusations against him were that he put his hand on a woman’s leg, and that made them uncomfortable. My partner’s response was that she can’t count the number of times that guys have done that - even in a single year. If the women were above average in looks, Rose’s proposition wasn’t the first, nor the last, of that type that they had to deal with. Her view was that as long as they didn’t repeat, and backed off a bit, no problem. And 99% of the time, that was the way it worked.

Laura Ingraham last night may have partially called this - as a generational issue. Rose is 75, and my partner thinks a courtly old gentleman. But on campuses these days, you need to get prior permission for even a kiss. Where is the romance there? So far, I feel a bit bad for both Charlie Rose and Roy Moore who seem to have been caught in a generational trap.

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

Missing: The photo of Rose fawning interview of Hillary-- The FakeFeminist Co-conspirator in the destruction of Bill's female victims.

Darrell said...

Several of the accusations against him were that he put his hand on a woman’s leg,

I heard a long tape on a radio show last night that indicated that we're talking about the upper thigh, with forays to the labia. Ellen Page had a story that fits your description. She told of a director that grabbed her leg under her knee when she was sitting at an awards banquet. Oh, my!

Michael K said...

Hollywood thinks we'll come around to supporting them again because - what else can we do for entertainment?

I think Hollywood just might hear the hoofbeats of the video game industry which (I'm the wrong generation for this) is much, much bigger than Hollywood and growing as the SJWs drive young men away from females to video games.

As the video gaming gets even better, I see a big threat to the NFL. College football is fun to watch and the cast of characters keeps changing. The NFL has been pushing "Fantasy Football" but may not realize that that little past time might kill the NFL.

If the same characters are around all the time, and if animation gets better, why not simulate the whole thing ?

There is a little college up in Washington State that had a video gaming programming major. They could not keep kids until graduation.

The video industry was hiring them too quickly.

brylun said...

Chuck says he voted for Trump over Clinton, yet he criticizes Trump in every one of his posts. He says he is critical of Hillary but he is always criticizing Trump. Chuck is like the paid protesters we see at every conservative event. The same folks every time, with free bus tickets and some walking-around money given to them by the Leftists.

I wonder if he is a Soros-paid commenter who gets $$ every time he criticizes Trump, and double if his criticism comes in a post that has nothing to do with Trump? Chuck, if you're not already on the Soros payroll, maybe it's time to check it out... .

If that's not the explanation, then I would defer to Dr. K about a form of Tourette's Syndrome. Chuck definitely suffers from Trump Derangement Syndrome.

Chuck, you seem to be an otherwise smart guy. Can you try to post something without bringing Trump into it?

AReasonableMan said...

tim in vermont said...
Chuck is like a rodeo clown. Every time a story veers towards a Democrat, LLR is there to take the focus off of them and steer it at Trump.


I wouldn't worry too much, Althouse is always here to guide you back to safe waters.

AllenS said...

Chuck has replaced "hey look, a squirrel" types of comments, with "hey look, a Trump" types of comments. Boo.

mccullough said...

Bob Boyd, that comment was pure gold.

Chuck said...

Recall the presidential debate from last fall, where Trump was asked about the Access Hollywood tape. Trump took off on it and attacked Bill Clinton. (Trump stagecrafters got the Clinton accusers to the debate, of course.)

Trump said of Clinton, "Far worse; mine were words, his were action... There's never been anybody in politics, in the history of this nation, that's been so abusive to women..."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcTY9g6Zc1M

But Trump invited that guy to his wedding. (See photo link above.)

And now, as we know, Trump has his own accusers on the "action" front:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Trump_sexual_misconduct_allegations

carrie said...

I always thought that David Letterman got off too easy and I also wonder why he isn't in the discussion now. Letterman was not an attractive man so the only reason I can think of 20 something year old interns to have sex with him is job related. I wonder what Charlie Rose said about David Letterman when that scandal came to light--or was Charlie Rose one of those minimizing the conduct and making it not be a scandal?

PB said...

Rose's cohosts had no idea? Some journalistic instincts!

Professional lady said...

I have been pretty bored with the entertainment/news industry for a long time. I rarely watch TV and we don't go to the movies much. I get DVDs from the library so that if we realize a movie is a waste of time, we're only out $1 when we turn it off. I remember seeing that George Clooney movie about Edward R. Murrow. It was a good movie, but Clooney acted like some kind of martyr for making it - like there had been attempts to suppress the movie or something. Last time I watched Sunday Morning (years ago), they did an interview with Matt Damon who put on a pair of glasses so he would look like an intellectual and then trashed Sarah Palin with the BS that she's stupid. Meryl Streep is a great actress and I've always liked her work - but now I'd just be thinking about how clueless and insulated she is if I watched one of her movies. Most of these people are in a narcissistic fantasy world. They are much less important and intelligent than they think they are. I don't need it.

tim in vermont said...

Chuck is the last man standing who doesn't believe Juanita.

tim in vermont said...

Althouse is always here to guide you back to safe waters.

Kind of like you and the New York Times.

SDaly said...

Telling a younger female employee to come to a hotel room for work (or it might have been his country house) and then appearing in an open robe is a little different than merely putting a hand on a leg.

tim in vermont said...

That comment was unhelpful, SDaly

William said...

I saw the reporter from the Washington Post on tv this morning. She said the story on Rose is not closed. She says that many more allegations have flooded in since the story broke.......Al Franken is apparently the only person in politics, media, or entertainment who only harassed a single woman and only that one time that was captured in the photo.

Chuck said...

tim in vermont said...
Chuck is the last man standing who doesn't believe Juanita.

Where did I ever write that, you jackass?

Hell, I wouldn't invite Bill Clinton to my wedding. He makes my skin crawl. So you need to ask Donald Trump about that. Maybe it's a Manhattan thing.

Do you believe Juanita, and at the same time disbelieve the Trump accusers? Ivana was under oath and in a deposition when she described The Donald raping her.

brylun said...

Chuck, you just can't help yourself, can you? Or is it the Soros connection?

brylun said...

Chuck, you probably never handled a matrimonial...

brylun said...

Chuck, you in a way remind me of LeVar Ball. Here's LeVar Ball criticizing Trump, when in fact Trump interceded to free Ball's son on a very serious criminal charge. In your case, Chuck, Trump appointed Gorsuch to the Supreme Court, and you give Trump no credit for the appointment.

It's not exactly the same, because in LeVar Ball's case he has failed in training his children in manners and in the value of a law-abiding life, thereby adding substantial transaction costs (think anti-theft measures) to be borne by all of the rest of us. Ball is in a way like the Shoe-Bomber, Richard Reid, the result was that most of us have to take our shoes and belts off before boarding an airplane.

Pugsley the Pug said...

@Mac McConnell

Rose is a surprise since he is very liberal poltically. Then again, most of the people outed in the past 2 months are liberals and Democrat polticians. The DNC really needs to make official their party’s motto to be “Do as I say, not as I do.”. That seems to be how they have operated in the past on a variety of topics but has really come to the forefront recentl with their actions. And the same goes to the GOP to a lesser extent.

Char Char Binks said...

"I heard a long tape on a radio show last night that indicated that we're talking about the upper thigh, with forays to the labia."

It's a slippery slope.

Chuck said...

brylun, I saw LeVar Ball on CNN last night with Chris Cuomo.

LeVar Bell is a nearly-unintelligible freak. I wanted to punch him halfway through that interview. I actually think that Chris Cuomo wanted to give Ball some semi-favorable airtime, and midway in the interview he found out that he had to fight Ball with every question. It was a total meltdown

Now as for this:
Chuck, you in a way remind me of LeVar Ball. Here's LeVar Ball criticizing Trump, when in fact Trump interceded to free Ball's son on a very serious criminal charge. In your case, Chuck, Trump appointed Gorsuch to the Supreme Court, and you give Trump no credit for the appointment.

I have no idea why I'd remind you of Ball, given my feelings about him. I give Trump credit for having won the election (I am not, and never will be one of the conspiracy theorists who think the election was in any way rigged or stolen or fabricated or anything else), and he did so with my vote. Trump won; I voted for him. A big reason for my voting for him was the federal judiciary.

I just don't think that Trump knows one damned thing about the federal judiciary. From his ignorant comments about his own litigation, to his screwball immigration orders, to the confirmation process of Gorsuch (handled beautifully by Leonard Leo, the Federalist Society, Gorsuch himself, Mitch McConnell and Kelly Ayotte) in which Trump stepped in with his idiotic Blumenthal Tweet, I think that Trump has shown himself to have only been good at accepting competent instructions on who to nominate.

Have you ever read a Trump deposition transcript? He's one of the most dangerously self-destructive witnesses I have ever seen. A client from hell.

Unknown said...

Rose is a surprise since he is very liberal poltically. Then again, most of the people outed in the past 2 months are liberals and Democrat polticians.

Roger Ailes, Bill O’ Reilly, Eric Bollert, Judge Roy Moore.

Unknown said...

Oh yes, and Trump himself.

Fabi said...

Show a little respect for Chuck, please -- he's one of the top dog bite lawyers in the entire Ann Arbor metropolitan area.

Unknown said...

“Florida Republican state Sen. Jack Latvala is being investigated by the Senate over allegations of harassment and groping. Latvala has denied the allegations.”

“Wes Goodman, who is the Republican state legislator for Ohio, is married to a woman who is assistant director of an annual anti-abortion rally known as March for Life.

The right-wing legislator, who pushed “family values”, was reportedly witnessed having sex with a man inside his office who was not employed by the legislator.”

Humperdink said...

Well this Eric Bollert is a new one for me. Is he a sitting senator?

Michael K said...

Inga thinks allegations mean someone is "outed."

Wonderful how our would-be leftist masters handle "innocent until proven guilty."

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Is Charlie Rose a sitting Senator? No. Is Eric Bolling a sitting Senator? No.

He was one of the comentators of the Fox News show The Five.

“Eric Thomas Bolling is an American television personality, conservative political commentator, author, and financial commentator. He has occupied numerous roles as a commentator on financial issues for television, most notably for Fox News. Wikipedia

Drago said...

"Accidental Leftist" and #CNNStrong Defender Chuck: "I actually think that Chris Cuomo wanted to give Ball some semi-favorable airtime..."

LOL

Oh, you "actually think that", eh? That Chris Cuomo might want to give some "semi-favorable" (yes "semi-favorable"...good one Chuck) strikes Chuck as a possibility.

It's that kind of incisive and trenchant analysis that would be expected of someone with your stellar analytical skills!

Clyde said...

Wow! Just wow! Where's Weinstein? I'd bet dollars to donuts that he was on Charlie Rose's show at one time or another.

Humperdink said...

My Eric Bollert sitting senator comment was sarcasm. Not surprised you failed to comprehend that. Good thing the IQ discussion was on another thread.

Unknown said...

Yes, sure it was, good try.

robother said...

"I crawl like a viper
Through these suburban streets
Make love to these women
Languid and bittersweet..."

They cal Alabama the Crimson Tide, call me Charlie Rose.

MayBee said...

His own show — which desperately needs him — has kicked him out.

I think he walked away, rather than being kicked out. In the past few years, Jill Solloway has become more stridest in her activism and even said it should be a trans person in the role. So perhaps the set is not friendly to him in many ways.

But you are right that when seen from the "Patient Zero" lens, it still is funny. I hadn't thought that through.

William Chadwick said...

In a spirit of giving the Devil his due, I like to remember that Rose had Milton Friedman on his show as an occasional guest. For PBS regulars, this might have been the only time (other than Friedman's "Free to Choose" series back in the Eighties--if they bothered to tune in) that they heard any pro-freedom ideas. I imagine they reacted like the guy in Munch's "The Scream."

Meade said...

Typical day in day out Bob Boyd brilliance.

Meade said...

"Almost as weird as this famously weird photo: Made all the weirder by the fact that Trump wanted them there so badly -- to enhance his own celebrity -- he agreed to a Clinton-related donation to get them there. And then share pervy jokes."

Difference is, Clinton's pervy jokes weren't jokes.

tim in vermont said...

Where did I ever write that, you jackass?

You wrote about believing the rape accusation of Trump's former wife "just as many people believe Clinton's accusers." I notice that you didn't include yourself. But that was before Bill was denounced by the Democrats, so maybe he is fair game for you now.

Stephen_Robbins said...

For Leslie Graves, above re: your link to the "Celebrity Perv Apology Generator" at https://apologygenerator.com/ Great find!

Here's a suggested one for Kathy Griffin:

"As both an exemplary feminist and A-list comedian for so many, many years, I nevertheless have been feeling tremendously concerned lately, all because of one of my hysterically funny, and first-rate political comedy routines, one that I unveiled back in May, following the Presidential Election of 2016. Obviously intended to be light-hearted and amusing for all, the skit involving me ‘cracking wise’ while carrying around and displaying a ‘bloody’ mock (though realistic-looking) chopped off human head, one which was clearly meant to closely resemble the neck-up top-knot of the current President of the United States, Donald Trump. Well, that cute little riff was somehow intentionally misinterpreted by certain critics and insensitive elements of the American public, and as a result it has caused me to be cruelly blacklisted within the United States. That is one reason why I sadly had to sell my modest Hollywood home (at a paltry profit of only $2.85 million), and have been living in Europe for a while now. I’ve cut my beautiful red hair very short, and have begun making stark and paranoid-themed video appeals for ‘sympathy’ filmed in my living room, while dressed only in a plain white cotton tee-shirt, with darting eyes, and gesticulating in an appealing way with my skinny and pasty-looking arms. It seems like it was a very long time ago, and of course now I realize the deplorable stupidity of certain Americans, a ‘group’ mental state which has wrongly led them to somehow believe my behavior was wrong. In conclusion, I will do my very best to learn from this unfolding public relations situation, while never, ever empathizing with the concerns or feelings of those who claim to be offended by what they say was a tasteless display of nasty humor on my part. Can you imagine? Clearly they are just stupid and ignorant fools – especially the ones who actually voted for Trump in the first place. Ugh!"

walter said...

Chuck (But Trruuump!) got to the "Fuck you" bit rather quickly.

Laslo Spatula said...
What is with the staying seated when shaking a man's hand?
Poor form.
--
He might pop a Viagra before interviews to get his blood flowing.
With Louis, fist bumps might be a better choice.

Phil 3:14 said...

"The right-wing legislator, who pushed “family values”, was reportedly witnessed having sex with a man"

Can someone clarify which hypocrisy is worse:

Family values guy who comes on to his female intern

-OR-

Male feminist guy who comes on to his female intern?

PS Laslo I want NO comments regariding the phrase "comes on to his female intern"