November 23, 2017

"Lazy Meade bastard’s turkey."



That's video by Meade and title by Meade (based on the comment by Yancey Ward, here, "That Meade is a lazy bastard").

56 comments:

Fabi said...

You're supposed to thaw it out first.

Meade said...

Sorry. I'm much too lazy to bother with that.

Meade said...

Besides, it's thawed by now.

Etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave Begley said...

Redemption.

Fabi said...

Exactly right, Meade -- the darned thing can thaw in the oven for all I care!

Thanks for this, my favorite site, Ann. Meade, too. Enjoy your day, and may you two enjoy many more Thanksgivings together in the years to come.

tcrosse said...

Everybody knows about the bird.
Everybody knows that bird is a word.

Surfing Bird

Meade said...

How to Talk About Salmonella at Thanksgiving With Your Ignorant, Lazy Bastard Host

Rt1 Rebel said...

"Sorry. I'm much too lazy to bother with that."

Thawing requires no additional effort, it only requires that the first step (removing the bird from the freezer/refrig) be carried out in advance. Procrastination could be the issue here.

Anyway, a happy Thanksgiving to both of you. And thanks for the blog, Ann, it adds something to my every day.

Meade said...

I was just teasing Fabi about not thawing because I'm pretty sure Fabi was teasing. Truth is I thawed the 10# turkey hen overnight in a brine. Meat thermometer just hit 165 at the thigh. "OKAY, LITTLE WOMAN, LET'S GET ON THEM FIXIN'S!"

robother said...

Thanks for the blog, Ann: its really something. Or, if you prefer, thanks for nothing.

Despite your contrarian view in the Year One, Thanksgiving is my favorite American holiday. Christmas and Easter, the Fourth of July all seem all about forced sentiment, or manic consumption. Thanksgiving is just a feast (can't get more primordial than that). And consciously being thankful for just our life, our family, our basic situation, is a Good Thing. (And maybe sad to say, too much to expect every day of the year.)

Meade said...

As the great poet/philosopher Ray Wylie Hubbard said, " ...and the days I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, well, I have really good days"

The Drill SGT said...

indirect heat

tcrosse said...

Instead of spatchcocked turkey, this year I decided to Hitchcock it. I took it into the shower and stabbed it multiple times.

rhhardin said...

Dog and I had rice, peas and extra Tyson frozen chicken chunks. Preparation time whatever the rice cooker decides.

rhhardin said...

The Doberman has begun to savour food owing to a slow-eat food dish. She has to dig food out from between ridges. Now I'm the one that finishes lunch first.

FWBuff said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Althouse and Meade! Thanks for your thoughtful, free-speech-loving blog!

Big Mike said...

@Meade, I knew you were sandbagging.

Stephen said...

There are some adjectives in front of the noun, so the only question I have is where the hyphens and commas should go: "Lazy-Meade, bastard's turkey", "Lazy, Meade-bastard's turkey", and "Lazy-Meade-bastard's turkey" all have slightly different meanings, though none are flattering to Mr. Meade. Grammar never takes a holiday.

Big Mike said...

But I do not FOR ONE MINUTE think you ever refer to Emerita Professor Althouse as "little woman." You would be better off not having ever been born.

rehajm said...

Dog turned over the garbage with the turkey carcas when the mother in law called...

Fa ra ra ra ra....

Fabi said...

Teasing it was, Meade. Now pardon me while I go rhyme mescaline with drunken poet's dream.

Yes, yes, that's Hayes Carll; but RWH's version is my favorite.

Barbara said...

Beautiful!

Michael K said...

My turkey breast is roasting although we could not find the meat rack after our move a year ago.

We must have lost a kitchen box in the move.

It is just the two of us in Tucson with the temp 90 outside but the evenings cool.

Most people here, I consider friends. There are a couple of exceptions but even ARM I consider a friend with whom I have disagreements most of the time. Inga is OK, too although I get impatient with her TDS.

Life is pretty good. My wife and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary two weeks ago. We celebrated our 38th last July,

In between, were 25 years apart.

Nice to be here and together.

Lewis Wetzel said...

It's Thanksgiving at Kilauea Military Camp for me. Starts in less than an hour. The weather at this altitude on the Big Island is overcast, wind, occasional rain, and about 60 deg.

tim in vermont said...

Most 21st century line heard today: "Dad, you left the door open! The vacuum cleaner is going to get out!"

The Elder said...

Meade said: "How to Talk About Salmonella at Thanksgiving With Your Ignorant, Lazy Bastard Host."


You should be experienced in how to talk about that by now. I tried to eat that turkey you undercooked one year on a little charcoal grill. Yuck.

You need to try to be nicer to me.

F said...

Meade:

Your reply to Fabi could have been "I hadn't thawed of that." But no, you had to go with the cool reply, which brought to mind Easy Rider when I read it. Why, I can't say -- something about lounging back on a motorcycle saddle. Association's a strange thing, especially since I never saw the movie.

Thanks to the two of you for brightening my day on a regular basis. Snow clouds are building over the Sierras to the west, but I am always ready to push back the recliner, open the laptop, and see what's new at Meadehouse.

Meade said...

If only we had a table long enough, we'd've invited the whole bunch of you Althouse readers and commenters. What a blast that would be. And by blast I mean mess. Well, maybe next year.

Big Mike: Sometimes I even call her "Little Lady." She answers either way. Always with that sweet coquettish subtle smile of hers only I seem to be able to discern. I like my turkey slow roasted and my woman on a pedestal — where they belong.

Elder: I was born trying to be nice to you. You know that. And yes, I know what Yoda would say: Either be nice or be not nice. There is no "try."

F: You made me laugh. Thanks. But you owe it to yourself to watch the movie, head out on the highway, look for adventure, or whatever comes your way.

Barbara: Beautiful of you to say so. (Something tells me you might be one of the many beautiful Barbara's we know in real offline life. Anyway, thanks kindly.)

And now it's time for me to retire to my comfortable stress-free chair while someone else might do the rest of the dishes and maybe bring me a slice of pumpkin pie and cup of coffee. Maybe. Either way, I'm profoundly grateful for all the fine gifts of living life in this good country of ours.

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

Lazy baster, that's for sure.

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

I'm profoundly grateful for all the fine gifts of living life in this good country of ours.

Indeed... and cheers.

Big Mike said...

@Meade, “Little Lady” and “Little Woman” are vastly different! If I ever used the latter on my beloved I am certain she would respond the way she did when my first born realized in middle school that he was taller than his mother:

“ I may be small, but I’m feisty.”

Freeman Hunt said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Althousians.

Big Mike said...

And the best to you and your family, Freeman!

Big Mike said...

We do our turkey dinner at supper time, and I learned that my son’s fiancĂ© also likes the turkey drumsticks. Alas! I no longer have the drummies all to myself. Next year we have to find a four-legged bird.

Drago said...

Trump failed in his Turkey Pardoning duties so now we have to thaw out our frozen turkeys.

---LLR Chuck

John Smith Smith said...

Big Mike - I hope you appreciate how fortunate you are to have relatives who all seem to have a sense of humor. It has been years since I entered a home where more than 4 of my relatives were gathered together, at one time, and had any expectation of not being insulted, in a heartless way - sad! But I can live with it, I have a forgiving heart. Happy Thanksgiving to Ann Althouse and Meade, Happy Thanksgiving to all the commenters here who write things I like to read, and Happy Thanksgiving to the commenters here who write things that make me say wtf? We are all mortal: God loves mortals. I turned my Christmas lights on tonight (a string of deep pastel lights, on my fourth floor balcony, at most 1,000 people will see it, on their walks, on their rides home. When I turn on my Christmas lights it is not a big event for many people). Let me describe the various lights - Tangerine on a crisp fall night; Wild but subdued and incandescent cherry red; Galactic-celestial blue, and a slightly pastel version of a Pale Sun over a Pale North Pole Ice-flow (or: orange, red, blue, white - that is all anyone will see from the street, unless they really really care. I know that, I know that is how it is for now - but now is not exactly now, in the world of Christmas lights, and even 2017 is not really, for the record, 2017, in the world of Christmas lights. Everybody, thank God, knows that, or would know that if they tried .....) Yes, it is a humble string of less than 20 orange, red, blue and white lights, on a balcony deep in the suburbs where unsuccessful people live, on a balcony that nobody pays much attention to - still, they are nice lights.

Saint Croix said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours and Althouse and Meade!

traditionalguy said...

The son used his cruel and unusual Japanese device called a Green Egg and cooked a delicious turkey in 3 hours. The fixings were double from two woman cooks bringing everything. That too was cruel when I ate way too much on top of dips and chips for the 3 hour wait.

On the way home we hit Christmas shopping traffic jams near all the big box mall stores. The other drivers all seemed driven. Haven't they heard of The Althouse Amazon portal.

Big Mike said...

@ John Smith Smith, we’re all Republicans, which helps. Apocalyptic politics is not our style.

james james said...

I went to the bar and had a few Thanksgiving drinks. There was a girl there from out-of-town, spending time away from the family she was in town to see.

We talked, drank, smoked, and then ended up going back to my place to have sex.

After we had sex she said she was really jonesing for cocaine. I told her I didn't have any, so she left to try to find someone who might know someone who had some coke.

So it worked out rather well as far as I'm concerned.

-jj

southcentralpa said...

Amateurs. Lazy is Festive Turkey Loaf. Oh, yes.

Hey, it works for us. We don't eat a great deal of meat, so a full-on turkey would be simply too much. Take out the package, put in the oven for two-and-half hours, done and done.

james james said...

I do know a guy or two at the bar who could've fixed her up with some coke.

But I don't like to involve myself in other people's transactions. Because then you're that guy. I am not that guy.

Plus it's Thanksgiving, the only people out on the street are pretty much shady. She should be fine.

-jj

John Smith Smith said...

Big Mike - nice reply, thank you, and I am happy for you. For the record, I am not beleaguered, this time of year, by political differences. I have Republican and Democratic relatives. Some of my relatives are just meaner than dirt, sometimes. I know why they are that way - they have been given less, in this world, than me, on the good side, and have been given more, in this world, than me, on the bad side - so I try not to let it bother me. Still - I wonder what it would be like to have spent even just one holiday in all the years I have lived on this earth, with family members who all cared, in their hearts, about me. It has never happened and it is never going to happen, unless I decide not to care about that - and I will never decide not to care about that (in other words, I could easily say they are not my relatives anymore, and choose better relatives - well, I am not going to do that - I may add a loving relative here or there (Happy Thanksgiving, Ines Anastasia!), but I will never consider anyone who was once a relative to no longer be a relative..), Sometimes, looking at the hopeful Christmas lights in my obscure neighborhood, I understand that the only real reward I will ever have in this life is understanding how beautiful hope, the light of hope, is, as Saint Francis de Sales used to say, back in the day. If you do not understand this comment, I am happy for you. And, well, to tell the truth, you probably understand it, and I am happy for you for that - you get it. I will never abandon my family, as nasty as they have been so often. God loves them, too. There will never be a day when they think I do not care, I hope.

james james said...

There's a girl from downtown I know who buys her heroin from various shady guys on the street.

We were outside the bar having a cigarette when she offered to blow me for fifty bucks.

I said no thanks and then she said forty bucks.

I eventually bargained her down to ten dollars, but didn't actually want the blow job, so I just gave her two fives and went back inside the bar.

She thinks the people at her work downtown don't suspect a thing about her habit. Sure.

-jj

Howard said...

I hear ya james james... if she were a tweeker with no teeth, you might have gone for a nice gummer. Junkies tend to grind their teeth into sharp points, good call. As they say, digressions are the better part of velour.

John Smith Smith said...

Saint Brigid: " I would like the angels of heaven to be among us. I would like an abundance of peace. " I remember, with too much specificity, 1975 the way it was, with its too frequent 'blow jobs' and too frequent 'cunnilingus' (sad!) . I also, in good moments, imagine 1975 the way it would have been had the angels of heaven been among us, had there been an abundance of peace. Nice comment, james james. I like to think I would have given her the 50 bucks, without bargaining, and gone back inside the bar.... what is 50 bucks to any of us, over the course of a lifetime? But I was a cheapskate then, and, ceteris paribus, am probably almost as much of a cheapskate now. If this world is not better than it is, one of the reasons is me. Sorry about that.

Bay Area Guy said...

I am thankful for my family and friends and good health.

I am thankful to have been born and raised in America, a flawed imperfect country, yet the best hope for justice, peace and prosperity on earth.

I am thankful for Althouse and Meade and the deplorable commentariat on this fine blog.

Gratitude makes a man humble, but content.

That is all.

Yancey Ward said...

Damnit, I was all set to apply the lazy baster title on Meade but was beaten to the punch by DickinBimbos!

james james said...

Heroin doesn't seem to have made it inside the bar, which is good.

It is rampant on the street outside. The police don't bother. Sure, they make a sweep before the University starts in fall, but that is to make the visiting parents think they are leaving their kids somewhere clean.

Every once in a while you see one of the school kids on the street with one of the shady kids. This city has had an ongoing romance with heroin, but no one famous has died in awhile, so some kids want to dabble.

It is true, Kurt Cobain didn't die of an overdose, but at some point you are just splitting hairs.

So the kids dabble, and occasionally you see one cleaner than the rest passed out against the CVC storefront. Jarvis Cocker's Common People and all that.

-jj

tim in vermont said...

I eventually bargained her down to ten dollars, but didn't actually want the blow job, so I just gave her two fives and went back inside the bar.

I don't know if your story is true or not, doesn't matter, it could be true from what I have seen in Boston. When libertarians come up with a solution for this waste of promising young lives, (every young life is promising) I will listen to their nonsense about privatizing the sidewalks.

tim in vermont said...

I like to think I would have given her the 50 bucks, without bargaining, and gone back inside the bar.... what is 50 bucks to any of us, over the course of a lifetime?

I used to feel that way, but live where there are junkies and you will begin to see yourself as an enabler if you give them money. Maybe a sandwich or a. donut if they are hungry. Maybe the hat off of your head if they are cold, I have done that. I would be warm in my car or may apartment soon enough, but money just goes in their veins. I can't live with that.

John Smith Smith said...

tim in vermont - good point, hadn't thought of that. Its been a while since I was offered sex for money or someone asked me for money for drugs.

TWW said...

Looks like a dry brined turkey. You should have spatchcocked it.

anti-de Sitter space said...

FYI, these are really awesome:

https://memphisgrills.com/

Ralph L said...

I completely misread this post title as "Lady Meade's Bastard Turkey."

Bet you ate it anyway.