November 23, 2017

"I changed my mind. I decided not to roast a turkey after all. Here. Here's your turkey."

Said Meade, tossing this on my toast plate:

DSC05178

ADDED: And you can buy Epic Turkey bars at through this link — click the arrow to see all 11 flavors — or anything else at Amazon through The Althouse Portal.

39 comments:

AReasonableMan said...

Well, it's good that its gluten free, I guess.

Etienne said...

OK, I'm game, what is "natural turkey" and can you get less than 100%?

traditionalguy said...

Don't forget the cranberry sauce and pecan pie.

Hagar said...

Does "unnatural turkey" have anything to do with recent news in the human world?

Wilbur said...

I'd have to fry that in some peanut oil.

Clyde said...

Turkey jurkey?

wildswan said...

I'd shape it like a turkey cookie and have it with a side of Wild Turkey. Then go out for dinner.

Left Bank of the Charles said...

But is it better than nothing?

Meade said...

I know. I'm such a jerk.

Etienne said...

On their web page, the "natural" doesn't have a disclaimer asterisk by it.

It does mention that it is "Paleo Friendly" so it is Caveman approved!

Tank said...

Panko deep fry that thing.

Original Mike said...

Would it have killed him to put it on the good China?

Drago said...

Etienne: "OK, I'm game, what is "natural turkey" and can you get less than 100%?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWNQTqMkezc

A very natural turkey, "sucka"!

Ann Althouse said...

"100% Natural Turkey Used"

Used!

I don't like thinking about what used turkey is.

pacwest said...

Good one Meade. Women don't appreciate all the effort that goes into creating a moment like that to light up the their day. Buying the bar, keeping the secret, and waiting for the right moment. Figuring the right way to spring it. And then jumping the gun because the joke is too good to keep to yourself.

Happy Thanksgiving to you both.

Michael K said...

"Don't forget the cranberry sauce and pecan pie."

On the counter all ready.

mccullough said...

Epic move, Meade. Happy Thanksgiving

Comanche Voter said...

In some households, doing such an act would mean that the actor would be "terminated with extreme prejudice"--to use a James Bondism.

Wayback in the wayback my wife and I and our two young daughters would, on occasion, travel 150 miles to share Thanksgiving dinner at either my mother in law or sister in laws home.
Both women were excellent cooks and did the whole traditional Thanksgiving dinner bit.

One year my sister in law had just finished moving into a very large new home; she was exhausted. Thanksgiving dinner that year was decidedly not her traditional effort. She offered sliced ham and turkey and sandwich rolls. Our two daughters were in their early teens at the time. I can still hear their howls of outrage that their aunt had not produced her traditional and very good Thanksgiving dinner.

So a turkey jerky bar on a plate---that Meade is a brave man.

Meade said...

As opposed to refused turkey. You wouldn't want that.

David said...

"Used!"

You can bet that a certain instant the turkey realized that it was being used.

EDH said...

Soylent turkey: "It's 'used' turkeys!"

Jersey Fled said...

A woman I used to work with had Thanksgiving catered every year by a local restaurant. She served everything on her best china. Noone ever knew she didn't cook it herself.

Yancey Ward said...

That Meade is a lazy bastard.

virgil xenophon said...

One of my Dad's brother-in-laws ran a Turkey ranch/farm (the industrial sized turkeys) and he would deliver a 15lb 1/2 Turkey every Thanksgiving. Served MORE than the three of us, two aunts and one husband and my grandfather on Mom's side. After that Dad and I would retreat to the Den to lie on the couches and moan until the football games came on. Or if held at my Aunt Opals we would moan on her couches, lol. Tradition continued until everyone died out except Aunt Opal and Mom and Dad and I was overseas in the USAF..

Ann Althouse said...

"You can bet that a certain instant the turkey realized that it was being used."

Abused turkey tweeted #MeToo.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Noone ever knew she didn't cook it herself.

Yes, they did, but they politely didn't mention it. It takes days to cook a Thanksgiving feast. Shopping, planning, prep, washing mountains of dishes all Thanksgiving week. It doesn't just appear. :)

Clark said...

We also changed our minds. We were going to eat Thanksgiving dinner in a restaurant, but last night at about 6 pm we decided to roast a turkey after all. We got a nice 15 lb. bird (not frozen) from Whole Foods. The menu and grocery list sprang fully-formed from my mind, bypassing the usual planning and prep anxiety--like Athena from the head of Zeus. The bird will be sheathed with a layer of bacon on the top hemisphere. Yum.

Michael K said...

Long ago, when my oldest son was about three, I spent hours preparing the turkey for Thanksgiving dinner with him watching closely.

As I put the turkey in the oven, he announced "Bye, Bey Turty !"

He's 52 now but I think of that every year on this day,

Meade said...

"That Meade is a lazy bastard."

You should see me tomorrow. I'm so lackluster I make Black Friday seem brighter than a thousand suns.

Big Mike said...

I'm unaware of any law that requires Thanksgiving dinner to be turkey. Why not a nice glazed ham? Or a standing rib roast? Let's get creative here!

Etienne said...

Why not a nice glazed ham?

My mom made a turkey and a ham. She always got a bone-in ham, as the bone was used for cooking the baked beans at Christmas.

They don't sell those hams in grocery stores anymore. I had to reserve one at the meat market. Those spiral cut "fake ham" gag me.

Anyway, our fridge was full of food from thanksgiving to new years.

I think ham and turkey taste better as left-overs anyway!

Etienne said...

We should all bow our heads for Pedro!

Michael K said...

"I'm unaware of any law that requires Thanksgiving dinner to be turkey."

The only law around here requires that rutabaga be a side dish.

rehajm said...

I'm unaware of any law that requires Thanksgiving dinner to be turkey

I clipped a newspaper story about Pilgrims eating lobster for Thanksgiving and used that to justify eating same for a decade. Then came deep fried turkey....

Bad Lieutenant said...

Let's get creative here!


too bad that venison is not more readily available.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

I tried those Epic bars--they sound great on paper but did not taste good.
But I did use the Althouse Amazon portal for some discounted shopping today. I probably give Amazon more money than I should...Bezos owning the WashPo has made me think harder about them as a company. I mean, I am typing this on a Fire tablet, but still!

walter said...

I think the turkey one is good..but the bison is truly Epic.
The chicken one tastes like the salt shaker fell open on it.

Big Mike said...

And I used the Althouse Amazon Portal recently. The guy who bought his young cousin a copy of Bulfinch’s Mythology for Christmas, that would be me.

David said...

I stayed home while my wife went to a friends house for dinner. (I have been ill.)

My wife made me a turkey sandwich when she got home. I could only eat half of it.

I told my wife that I was very thankful that I had married her and that I loved her.

Perfect day.