Example:
Seatown Lemon Haze grown by Western Cultured... has an overwhelmingly sweet and lemony aroma, like a lemon-lime soda on a sunny day. The pretty nugs have a vibrant green hue and a coating of white crystals. The plant's aromas keep exhaling around you as you pull it out of its bag and grind it up. It had a light and smooth smoke to it, didn't make me cough, and delivered a powerful, heady, mind-racing high. That's something I enjoy about these really citrusy strains—they make my mind run in circles. It's not for everyone, especially not the paranoia-prone. Barely half a bowl gave me the energy to stay up for a few hours editing and sorting photos and listening to the new War on Drugs album.But wait. There's something very different from wine writing. With wine it's always only about how the substance appeals to the senses — taste, smell, and the feeling in your mouth — as you are drinking it. There's never anything about how it feels in your bloodstream and how it affects your mind.
Seatown Lemon Haze is not for everyone, especially not the paranoia-prone. And writing about marijuana is not for everyone, especially the bullshit-sensitive.
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36 comments:
God...
I lived the first half of my life hearing about how cigarettes were terrible, would kill you, and should be outlawed.
I'm going to live the second half of my life hearing about how pot is awesome, will enhance your life, and should be smoked by everyone.
Maybe it's just "Dave's not here", but with more adverbs & adjectives.
Gnarley dude.....
He has a War on Drugs album? Found, no doubt in the 80s bin of some retro record store.
This.
Stoned Again
Reminds me of the descriptions of Gin I saw once at Barriques. All the hoity ones had all sorts of adjectives to describe their floral wonderfulness.
Then there was Fleischman's: Gets the Job Done.
Pedro: Man, what is in this shit, man?
Man Stoner: Mostly Maui Waui man, but it's got some Labrador in it.
Pedro: What's Labrador?
Man Stoner: It's dog shit.
Pedro: What?
Man Stoner: Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man.
Pedro: Yeah?
Man Stoner: I had it on the table and the little motherfucker ate it, man. Then I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days, man, before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind, ya know?
Pedro: You mean we're smokin' dog shit, man?
Man Stoner: Gets ya high, don't it?
[Song, "Rockin' Robin" plays... ]
Man Stoner: I think it's even better than before, you know?
Pedro: Uhhh, I wonder what Great Dane tastes like, man.
Up In Smoke, 1978
Hey, if it works for civet cats and coffee, why not, dude?
Here's the scene:
Labrador scene
Those were the days...
It's not just for stoners anymore.
The best movie line exemplifying wine snobbery can be found in "Sideways".
Paul Giamatti as the wine snob, Miles Raymond, taste-tests a wine and judges it to be "quaffable but not transcendent". At the same time, Mile Raymond's friend in the movie, Jack Cole, played by Thomas Hayden Church, samples the same wind and says "tastes pretty good to me".
I think I got a buzz just reading that.
"There's never anything about how it feels in your bloodstream and how it affects you mind." Well, many official tasters couldn't say because they don't swallow. (Ha!) And everyone sorta knows, regardless of the taste, right? By the second or third instance of bloodstream-effect reviewing, discerning critics in Madison, WI, might start to find it a little boring.
Never having done pot, I take it there's more variation in the psychological effects than with alcohol, even at similar levels of active-ingredient concentration. True?
1978 is almost forty years ago. Hard to believe... How the hell did that happen?
The kids today, they have no idea what it was like back then. I'll give you a hint: Computers took up a whole room. Telephones didn't even have answering machines yet. The tech geeks made their own digital watches with red glowing numbers. A Texas Instruments TI-30 was state-of-the-art for a calculator, if you didn't want to use a slide rule. Cable television was still far off in the future. Music was on vinyl records, cassettes and 8-track tapes. CDs were still several year in the future.
Today is much, much better from a technological standpoint. And Donald Trump is much better than Mr. Peanut.
My spouse and I recently created a blog that focuses on the possible changes wrought by the legalization of recreational cannabis here in Nevada, specifically in Vegas. One of the main topics we hope to address is the poor quality of the intel available, much of which is unintelligible to new users or returning users. The amount of bad info or meaningless drivel is astounding. (With our previous website, we were unable to stop, channel or alter the torrent of pretentious and worthless drivel spun out by the media re standup. We hope to have more success with weedspeak. We fought hard against the "jazzification" of standup. We now turn our attention to the "wine-ification" of mainstream weed.)
I'll take pretension over detention.
I wonder what the editing and sorting looked like the next day.
I recommend the book In Vino Duplicitis about a wine forger. The greatest wine snobs in the world fooled by a fraudster. Excellent read. Part of the fraud was uncovered by using a device measuring isotopes in wines. Certain isotopes apparently did not exist before the atom bomb and so a bottle proported to having been of an earlier vintage but having these isotopes were ipso facto fake.
My partner smokes cigars and the tastes that make up various cigars is also described in such a manner: woodsy, coffee, chocolate, etc. Much more complex than I would have imagined.
I can't discern a damn thing except tobacco.
There was an article last week about fake, expensive, aged whiskey, and the fact that there is an increasing amount of fraud in the market.
"But wait. There's something very different from wine writing. With wine it's always only about how the substance appeals to the senses — taste, smell, and the feeling in your mouth — as you are drinking it. There's never anything about how it feels in your bloodstream and how it affects your mind."
I've always thought that's one of the huge hypocrisies of oenophilia, and to a lesser extent, cocktail culture. Perhaps it's because ethanol highs are rather uniform, monochrome experiences, other than the odor, taste and mouthfeel of the tipple. And the social trouble being drunk enables.
At least the absinthe aficionados are honest about being in it for the psychoactive effects.
Here in Vegas, it's legal recreational, which means any adult with an ID can go to a store and pick some out off a menu just like buying some meat at the butcher. The one place I checked out, was huge, extremely clean, and the most sterile establishment I ever experienced, with very helpful and cheerful employees that will point you to exactly what you want after they find out what you like and don't like. It was a surrealistic experience just being there, and talking about such a thing with strangers. Pot has passed me by. Like tattoos, it's just common, too acceptable, and too bullshitty. 90 percent of the people there were in their fifties, and had that look that says I don't work. I get a check, but I don't work. It made me feel like one of lazy crowd, and that's just not me.
"1978 is almost forty years ago. Hard to believe... How the hell did that happen?"
Why are so many people confused about time, and the passage of it?
"Why are so many people confused about time, and the passage of it?"
Pot hard that effect, I hear.
Why are so many people confused about time, and the passage of it?"
Despite my girlfriend's attempts to get me to buy into reincarnation, personally, it's my first time at this, so yea it's a little surprising every time I think about it.
Char Char, do you not feel the compression of time as you get older? I sure do.
On the subject at hand, I for one would welcome a wine critic who would confess publicly to enjoying the buzz. I never had any success with pot: tried it twice, apparently did it wrong, felt nothing, shrugged, stopped trying.
As I get older I find new things to be interested in, and new things to be 150% certain I want nothing to do with.
I have never met a pothead I enjoyed being around, ever. God help us when more and more people get more and more lazy and stupid.
Char Char Binks said...
"1978 is almost forty years ago. Hard to believe... How the hell did that happen?"
Why are so many people confused about time, and the passage of it?
It's not that I'm confused about it. I understand the whole 'Earth rotating around the sun forty times' thing. It's just that I don't feel as old as I obviously am. And while a long time has passed since then, my memories of that time are still sharp... and good. It wasn't the best of times, but it was far from the worst.
I've never tried marijuana, but I would if I could get some of that shit that ARM smokes.
Our future. Don't count on pot heads for much... maybe some Bernie love.
Seatown Lemon Haze is not for everyone, especially not the paranoia-prone. And writing about marijuana is not for everyone, especially the bullshit-sensitive.
And apparently writing about marijuana is not for people who don't know anything about marijuana.
Although pretty rare, marijuana "medical emergencies" are almost always for panic attacks and people thinking they've been poisoned. IOW, paranoia.
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