Althouse: They make it look like a medical treatment.

August 8, 2017

They make it look like a medical treatment.

51 comments:

Karen said...: Creepy. The "don't worry" part makes me worry- it's a knife-edged reminder that they could if they wanted to.; 8/8/17, 11:28 AM
Sydney said...: I think people can usually figure out when you unfriend them, though. My brother noticed when one of our cousins unfriended him. Over politics. Guess which party the cousin belongs to.; 8/8/17, 11:41 AM
Sydney said...: Also, that graphic makes me think of a gynecological exam. Is unfriending someone like an abortion?; 8/8/17, 11:42 AM
Bay Area Guy said...: I would like to unfriend my ex-wife on FB. But she has certain Lorena Bobbitt tendencies and would somehow find out. Needless to say, she is in the upper right quadrant of the "hot/crazy" matrix. Although, I must say, she did vote for Trump, so there's that.; 8/8/17, 11:45 AM
tcrosse said...: The graphic reminds me of a Consecrated Host. Not that there's anything creepy about that.; 8/8/17, 11:46 AM
loudogblog said...: In the TV series, Firefly, the two corporate villains wore blue gloves. "Two by two, hands of blue."; 8/8/17, 11:46 AM
Mountain Maven said...: Facebook is for children.; 8/8/17, 11:49 AM
Chuck said...: Sydney said...
Also, that graphic makes me think of a gynecological exam. Is unfriending someone like an abortion?

It's a "choice."; 8/8/17, 11:51 AM
Levi Starks said...: Facebook is in the business of connecting people, incorporating them into the Facebook matrix.
When you unfriend someone it's a warning sign that you may be contemplating taking the wrong color pill.
I'm afraid you've given the Facebook algorithm a tummy ache.; 8/8/17, 11:52 AM
Michael K said...: I have been blocking the real Trump haters on facebook, especially those who offer "photos" of Trump wife or daughter. I don;t know if they are photoshopped but don;t want to know. Anyway, facebook prevented me from blocking one the other day. No explanation.

I have very few facebook "friends" and don't want more.; 8/8/17, 11:58 AM
Yancey Ward said...: I don't know why, but it reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer tries to stop receiving mail.; 8/8/17, 12:03 PM
whitney said...: Who did you unfriend? And why?; 8/8/17, 12:07 PM
Ann Althouse said...: Is the shape in the center supposed to be a shield? I makes me think of Blue Shield (even though the Blue Shield logo is a somewhat different shape). The hands seem to be wearing latex gloves, and the shield seems to be on a round plate, which really does seem like the paten used in communion (as mentioned above).

It also is reminiscent of those saccharine photographs of newborn babies held curled up in large adult hands. With the latex gloves, it does suggest that I had a right to abort the unwanted friend and, since they're promising not to tell, I have a right of privacy about it.; 8/8/17, 12:09 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "Who did you unfriend? And why?"

I have a restrictive approach to who can see me on Facebook. I want it to feel completely different from the blog. So it's mostly only family and some people I know professionally, but one group I've treated in a special way is people from high school. This was someone whose name I didn't even recognize but must have friended back when I was friending anyone who had gone to my high school when I did. The person was dropping pointlessly mean (and dumb) comments, really just trolling me on Facebook. It wasn't anything that would bother me in the comments on the blog, but that's not how I do Facebook.; 8/8/17, 12:11 PM
Jupiter said...: Interesting. What's the point of "unfriending" someone if they don't even find out about it? I thought it was supposed to be a "social medium". Doesn't that mean it's all about manipulating other people's emotions?; 8/8/17, 12:13 PM
Ann Althouse said...: Another thing I learned in this episode is that Facebook has a default setting that lets "friends of friends" see you. That's terrible if you're trying to be relatively small on Facebook. I am friends with some people who have over a thousand friends and who seem to use Facebook as a blog, trying to reach a big audience. So I was able to change that setting.; 8/8/17, 12:14 PM
rhhardin said...: They turned friend into a verb, giving unfriend as a verb; now it's time to establish unfriend as a noun. They're calling you an unfriend.; 8/8/17, 12:23 PM
Michael K said...: A lot of the nasty comments I see and try to block come off things like the Wall Street Journal posts, which I may have to unfollow.

They sure don't sound like subscribers. The Journal used to have a function where you saw only comments fro subscribers in the paper web site.; 8/8/17, 12:24 PM
Matt Sablan said...: And this is why I just am very careful about the people I friend. I was less careful in college, and I just politely ignore the people I don't talk to anymore instead of unfriending them. Like, if I saw them, I'd still be nice and cordial, so I can be Internet nice and leave them as my friend.; 8/8/17, 12:25 PM
Earnest Prole said...: I thought it was a codpiece with bulging balls.; 8/8/17, 12:27 PM
ddh said...: Being grandparents, members of the reality-based community, but otherwise old enough to know better, my cousin and his wife unfriended me last December. They were saying that the President-elect was a fascist and that they and their friends were joining the Resistance headed by Robert Reich.

I commented that Trump wasn't a fascist, but if they REALLY believed he was and if they were joining the Resistance, then the last thing they should be doing is broadcasting their political views on social media; in fact, they should remove every trace of their opinions they possibly could. Otherwise, their Facebook postings would make it all too easy for authorities to track them down and jail them. That's when they unfriended me, immediately after I hit return.

My advice must have worked because I haven't heard from any of my other cousins about anyone being thrown into a detention camp.; 8/8/17, 12:30 PM
stlcdr said...: Unfriending someone disconnects advertisers from their prey. It's an advertising network, after all. Facebook wants you to feel bad about it in a nice kind of way. You removed a bandaid, but it needs to be made to seem like you just had an abortion, so they can remind you that it's not like you killed someone or anything like that (although if you want to feel like that, we can put it back, no questions asked).; 8/8/17, 12:37 PM
John henry said...: Anyone here ever read the Facebook terms of service (EULA)?

It changes from week to week so even if you have, it may not be, this week, what you thought you agreed to last week.

At one point a few years ago, the EULA claimed that by using Facebook you gave them access to ANYTHING they wanted on your hard drive, phone or whatever. Not only did you give them access, you gave them permission to use it however you wanted.

Who ya gonna cry to when your photos show up in a commercial on TV? You did give them permission.

For those who absolutely have to use facebook, do so only on a dedicated computer not connected to anything other than the internet and with a completely clean hard drive.

Remember, you are not Facebook's customer. (You don't pay them, do you?) You are their product. They sell you and your data to their customers. Ditto Google et al.

Want to communicate with friends and family, share photos etc? Set up your own email server with Web.com, Wix or another host for about $15/yr. Then, because you are the customer, not the product, you own the info. Then set up email lists.

John Henry; 8/8/17, 12:51 PM
Mike Sylwester said...: If you don't like a Facebook friend's posts, then you can simply "unfollow" him rather than "unfriend" him. You don't see his posts on your wall, but you can go to his profile page and look at his posts. You can also exchange messages with him.

Since the election, I have been ostracized by much of my family, because I voted for Trump. I have six siblings, and only I and one brother voted for Trump. All the rest, including all their spouses and children, voted for Clinton.

One sister-in-law explained to me that she only "unfollowed" me. I think that all the rest of my siblings and in-laws unfriended me.

Some of my nephews and nieces did not unfriend me, so most of my Facebook activity is taunting those brats with my pro-Trump posts. I average only about one post a week, though.

Both my Democrat parents died of old age in the middle of 2016. If they had lived until Election Day, both of them would have died of strokes when they saw that Trump won.; 8/8/17, 12:53 PM
Mike Sylwester said...: My wife is a Lithuanian immigrant, and she hates Trump because he is mean to immigrants and is collaborating with Putin to restore Russian sovereignty over Lithuania.

My wife loves Facebook and spends a lot of time there posting videos and commenting on her Facebook friends' posts. She shares a lot of the anti-Trump posts that she sees.

Whenever I look over her shoulder at the computer monitor, I see a lot of anti-Trump posts from my siblings and in-laws that I never see on my own Facebook wall. That's how I know I have been unfriended by all of them.

That's OK with me. I spent the last 15 years arguing about politics with them by e-mail. My Dad kept us communicating with each other. After he died, our family soon drifted apart. After the election, most of the communication was cut off.

We still communicate only to settle the estate. After the estate is settled, some of us never will communicate with each other ever again.

That's what politics has done in my family.; 8/8/17, 1:04 PM
Kate said...: It's a generic face shape, now blank because you have removed your friend's identity from your life. Or, perhaps, it is your identity and fb is the remover. We'll be allowed no secrets or privacy in our google-sanitized future. Right now the orans hands are only encouraging you to rethink your mistake, not force you. Yet.; 8/8/17, 1:05 PM
Ralph L said...: If the hands were going up instead of down, we could argue until blue about whether the Host should be raised or not, instead of politics.

Mike S, that's very sad. My late b-i-l was a lefty (for NC), but he was good-humored even during 4 years of cancer. I, OTOH, tended to argue like my father.; 8/8/17, 1:08 PM
buwaya said...: Politics and Religion are poor topics for purely social relationships. Or for that matter in business communications.

Its bad form to argue this stuff over the dinner table, or at a wedding, or at the water cooler.

If one must argue with ones relatives or, for instance, the parents of ones childrens' friends, its best done in private, one on one, though best not done at all. If they insist on arguing with you, extricate yourself as best you can.

I don't facebook. The temptation to argue with the (very few) people I know that inject politics there is too much temptation for me. If ones hand leads you to sin ...; 8/8/17, 1:11 PM
I Have Misplaced My Pants said...: I would like to unfriend my ex-wife on FB. But she has certain Lorena Bobbitt tendencies and would somehow find out. Needless to say, she is in the upper right quadrant of the "hot/crazy" matrix. Although, I must say, she did vote for Trump, so there's that.

Put her on your restricted list so she can only see your public posts (which will only be your profile and cover pic changes because your privacy settings are correct) and then unfollow her. You will have as little to do with each other as possible without the nuclear option of unfriending.

I enjoy a daily scroll through Facebook because lots of people I care about are elsewhere and my demographic doesn't do much communication otherwise. Women in their 30s don't send out email newsletters or write cards with pictures of their kids in them or have time to talk on the phone. So this is how I can feel like I'm a little in the loop with people. Also I have reasonably interesting friends who share interesting things, and I can subscribe to pages that give me good things to read. Longform is a good one~it collects and shares links to various longform journalism articles that are almost uniformly good.

But it can definitely get aggravating; the political obsessives I've all unfollowed and I aggressively use the "hide all from" option. I hide all posts from pages that even mildly annoy me which goes a long way to keeping the clutter down. No HuffPo, Politico, Occupy Democrats, For America, RedState, Emily's List, etc. If some of my annoying friends share posts from Planned Parenthood or whatever I don't even see them. Win!; 8/8/17, 1:15 PM
I Have Misplaced My Pants said...: Oh! I definitely hide all from X County or City Lost and Found Pets. Some people are so spammy about that! I have a few old lady friends who share ten missing schnauzer posts a day.; 8/8/17, 1:17 PM
Fabi said...: I friended a humidifier and a dehumidifier. They now have a symbiotic relationship.; 8/8/17, 1:22 PM
Michael K said...: Then, because you are the customer, not the product, you own the info. Then set up email lists.

I use Gmail for email that isn;t important and I only look once in a while. I use another service for important stuff. If Gmail is selling my data, somebody is getting a weird profile.; 8/8/17, 1:55 PM
Rusty said...: I age never had to unfriendly anyone. My political opinions have caused dozens to unfriendly me.
So i guess they weren't my friends.; 8/8/17, 1:57 PM
Kevin said...: Anticipating the unholy mess FB would become after the election, I started a countdown the week before and quit FB on the morning of election day.

Before that I was pretty active and tolerant of almost everything. The one place I drew the line was when people told me I had no right to offer up an opinion on a topic because I was the wrong race/gender/sex/class/etc.

If you truly believe I have no right to speak, I refuse to continue to listen to you.; 8/8/17, 2:13 PM
Renee said...: When you only have 150 friends, we notice. Especially if we have been blocked.; 8/8/17, 2:17 PM
David said...: It's a diaphragm.; 8/8/17, 3:03 PM
JaimeRoberto said...: "Don't worry. We won't tell them that you unfriended them". Yet.; 8/8/17, 3:04 PM
Ron Winkleheimer said...: I have a facebook account, but I very rarely check it because I'm not all that sociable.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exTFRE1aF-g; 8/8/17, 3:15 PM
Coconuss Network said...: Strangely enough, unfriends can still see a page but not necessarily current stuff. And memory of internet can also keep a page alive despite the unfriendliness. Love Facebook though. Timely for many of us who are using Facebook as email, easier to access on mobile, at least for me personally. Some old friends, now Facebook friends, are transparent on facebook; not only generous of them, but wonderful for getting connected, meaning their settings are set such that anyone can read their page. Especially for many who have flown the coop, transparency has brought people back to the neighborhood. Happy International Cat Day !!; 8/8/17, 3:17 PM
tcrosse said...: "Don't worry. We won't tell them that you unfriended them".

If you're innocent, you have nothing to fear.; 8/8/17, 3:29 PM
Achilles said...: John said...

Want to communicate with friends and family, share photos etc? Set up your own email server with Web.com, Wix or another host for about $15/yr. Then, because you are the customer, not the product, you own the info. Then set up email lists.

John Henry

It would actually take me about a day to set up all of the basic features of facebook on a private group via Wordpress. News posts with comments, forums, login/profiles, instant messaging. You can even have an events handler with a signup function and sell tickets.; 8/8/17, 3:49 PM
Achilles said...: Michael K said...

I use Gmail for email that isn;t important and I only look once in a while. I use another service for important stuff. If Gmail is selling my data, somebody is getting a weird profile.

Whoever has Joe@hotmail.com got signed up for a lot of free stuff that requires an email to register for.; 8/8/17, 3:51 PM
Snark said...: It's a weirdo graphic for sure, but in attempt to make sense of it I came up with each hand belonging to one of the friends that are now separated - you've let go - with the shield representing the fact that you are now blocked, or depending on how you see it, protected, from each other's posts.; 8/8/17, 4:23 PM
Mary Beth said...: I use a browser extension that gives me more control over what I see on Facebook. No sponsored stories, no game app messages, and it shows me the most recent (most of the time) instead of what's gotten the most comments. It also tells me if someone has unfriended me. I would usually be able to figure out who has anyway, but this way I can generally tell what post set them off. There's only been a couple who've unfriended me, but neither was a great loss.

Another thing I learned in this episode is that Facebook has a default setting that lets "friends of friends" see you

I have most of my posts set to "custom". A small group of people who get my jokes (at least occasionally) and are not to far to the left or right of me as to get offended by political comments. Before the election, I set some of my posts asserting that Trump would win to "friends" and that got me dropped by one of them.; 8/8/17, 4:30 PM
RigelDog said...: There IS something very uterine about that whole logo.; 8/8/17, 4:31 PM
Scott said...: I wish they would tell them...

-----

Here is what happens when you unfriend someone

We tell them that they were unfriended; that they are worthless people who will no longer receive your friendship, love, and Likes for their stupid cat videos and photos of their nasty little children. Click here if you also want to tell them to fuck off and die of cancer.; 8/8/17, 5:47 PM
Michael K said...: Whoever has Joe@hotmail.com got signed up for a lot of free stuff that requires an email to register for.

Yeah, I get "liked" comments fro WSJ and stuff like that. Also physician recruiters and odd ball stuff.

It's kind of interesting to watch what recruiters are doing. If I was 30 years younger the demand for general surgeons is outta sight.

Nobody wants to work hard anymore. Financial offers are higher than I would think they'd be.; 8/8/17, 7:24 PM
southcentralpa said...: "And remember Anne, you're not our customer ... you're our product."; 8/8/17, 8:16 PM
Gospace said...: I have been unfriended by many liberal friends from HS. I'm 62. So my guess is, they were never really friends to begin with.; 8/8/17, 9:49 PM
Martin said...: They really hate to see you "unfriend" someone because they track, store, and monetize everything you and the other person do on their systems--EVERYTHING. And by breaking a link you slightly but measurably give them less data about the 2 of you to monetize in the future.

Don't be fooled, they are evil, greedy, lying bastards who make Montgomery Burns look like the Little Sisters of the Poor. Not just FB, all the "social media," plus Google, MSFT, the whole lot of them. Amazon is only half-evil--they hold and monetize your data, but at least they sell you something you want.

How do you think they all got so rich? It's not like they sell the user a good or service. Their customers are advertisers and you are not a customer or a client, you are the product.; 8/9/17, 9:54 AM
veni vidi vici said...: God, fuck these assholishly smarmy social media corporate employees.; 8/10/17, 1:10 AM