June 28, 2017

"I roll into the bar late but everyone’s too drunk to care. Mark introduces me to his friends. They’re instantly complimenting me..."

"... even his female friends. I’m cautious about women. Sometimes women get weird around attractive women — even the ones who are just as attractive."

From "The TV Reporter Wondering About Her Date’s Girlfriend" (in the "Sex Diaries" column at New York Magazine)

IN THE COMMENTS:  Known Unknown writes:
Still trying to find the point of the New York Mag story ...
And I say:
I read the whole thing and the point seems to be that life is best when "Nothing’s really going on," which was the time she spent part of a night "watching Shameless and eating... sesame chicken with fried rice and a vegetable egg roll." For the reader who worries that other people are living the real life and having the fun that she/he just can't seem to reach, the answer comes back clear: All that "fun" is not really fun at all, it's a horrid mixture of abuse and boredom, and you're not missing out at all.

43 comments:

Known Unknown said...

I'm going OT for the first comment: Meadhouse should check out GLOW on Netflix. It's about the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling in the 1980s. Marc Maron plays the director, Sam Sylvia, and is fantastic in it.

Back to your regularly0scheduled programming ...

Etienne said...

I didn't follow the link, but I've read a story just like that subject 2.1 times before...

I think there's even a pervert on-board the forum, who writes about suspicious minds.

Virtually Unknown said...

I used to work in a building that had a minor cable channel on one floor. OMG, it put me to mind of those Chinese emperors who would send people out to scour the kingdoms for beautiful women.

CJinPA said...

SOMEONE is spending too much time reading New York Magazine.

Jake said...

So, the news lady also writes soft core porn.

Fen said...

"Thinking about their life together makes me insecure"

Get used to that. You are disposable to these men. Have you at least considered charging for your services?

Earnest Prole said...

New York Magazine's sex diaries all read like they were written by the same loathsome person.

Known Unknown said...

Still trying to find the point of the New York Mag story ...

AlbertAnonymous said...

Good God what total garbage. Millennial "look at me, look at me, but don't judge -bigot" so called diary.

Every guy she mentions that she's into (and hooks up with) is married or committed. The one who is available and actually treats her well, she really doesn't want to be with ... but he's wealthy. Ugh.

Drivel.

Fernandinande said...

Soft pore corn.

Bill Peschel said...

How anonymous can she be? New York TV reporter, 26, black, from SoCal. Shouldn't be hard to identify. Not that I care to try. I couldn't get past the third graf.

The risk of writing about yourself is that you reveal much more about yourself than you may want. For instance: "My mom pushed television on me when I started college. I don’t have a regional accent and people consider me more attractive than most (I do, too), so I decided to give it a shot."

Translation: "News? Informing the public? Who gives a shit. Look at me!"

Also, she's straight and "FiDi." Urban Dictionary says she's either "Fuck It Do It" or San Fran's Financial District. Anyone?

Sebastian said...

Y'all are being way too judgmental. This is anthropological evidence, found data as it were, showing the deplorables in fly-over country what it means to be cool in New York.

Birches said...

She seems nice...

Bill Peschel said...

Speaking of GLOW (comment #1), Maron interview two of his female co-stars. Having 16 women on one show created an interesting dynamic among them. They're so used to being "the girl" on the set and now they outnumbered the men and doing lots of scenes together. Then there was the wrestling training, where they had to learn to clamp their legs around their opponent's head. I can't remember the exact phrase they used, but it's a variation of a recently popularized phrase.

Ann Althouse said...

"Still trying to find the point of the New York Mag story ..."

I read the whole thing and the point seems to be that life is best when "Nothing’s really going on," which was the time she spent part of a night "watching Shameless and eating... sesame chicken with fried rice and a vegetable egg roll." For the reader who worries that other people are living the real life and having the fun that she/he just can't seem to reach, the answer comes back clear: All that "fun" is not really fun at all, it's a horrid mixture of abuse and boredom, and you're not missing out at all.

rhhardin said...

If they're friendly it means she's uglier than they are.

rhhardin said...

Nothing ever happens in heaven.

Bob Ellison said...

Birches, "she seems nice" is wickedly funny.

Michael K said...

I stopped here.

New York’s Sex Diaries series asks anonymous city dwellers to record a week in their sex lives — with comic, tragic, often sexy, and always revealing results.

Speaking of sex, the star of "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" died this week.

Much more interesting than anything that TV girl did.

rhhardin said...

Dragon tattoos are flicks I'll get back to and rewatch sometime.

Often I prefer to rewatch an already watched DVD over the DVD that just came in the mail, the latter being many choices down from ones I bought earlier.

I watch in Swedish or whatever it is, with subtitles. I can't stand the mouth being out of sync with the audio. Better just to read and listen.

MikeR said...

Sigh. What a bunch of losers. I don't mean to judge, but she just puts herself out there to be judged.
I've got a good wife, a few kids, a decent job, I write a little. Nothing about me amazing enough to have to deal with that kind of stuff. I am so fortunate.

Fen said...

Mike, yup. I forget who said it, but humans are remarkably adept at creating their own Hell.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Sigh. What a bunch of losers. I don't mean to judge, but she just puts herself out there to be judged.
I've got a good wife, a few kids, a decent job, I write a little. Nothing about me amazing enough to have to deal with that kind of stuff. I am so fortunate.


Agree. What a sad, empty life. I understand that she's supposed to be keeping a sex diary, but I find it interesting that all she seems to do is think about/plan sex, eat restaurant food, and halfheartedly/without interest do her job. What a puny, wasteful life, in which the only things that occupy your thoughts are the slaking of your lizard appetites.

People are made in the image of a creator God, and we cannot be deeply happy unless we are creating and building something meaningful. If all we're doing is consuming, we're just animals, incapable of recognizing or experiencing joy.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Were I in a position to advise her, I would suggest that she stop centering her life around playing games with men of low character and spend her free time helping people and mastering a craft. Then she will feel alive, purposeful, joyful and who knows, maybe even make friends with quality people instead of all these assholes.

Sebastian said...

"Birches, "she seems nice" is wickedly funny." True, but the correct phrasing, as O taught us, is "nice enough."

Anyway, the sex diary/ies remind me of Peggy Noonan's line on the election and culture war--that we are being patronized by our inferiors. As an NYC resident, she knows whereof she speaks.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

10 a.m. Gerald sends me a sweet message when I wake up: “Enjoyed spending yesterday evening with you, beautiful, enjoy your day.” I ignore it.

This is after he bought her dinner @Capital Grille and was perfectly nice.

Later, after she's "hooked up" with the guy she knows has a girlfriend (and by "hooked up" I mean had [presumably] unprotected sex) she lets Gerald take her out to a show & another dinner. She decides during the after-show meal that she's not interested in Gerald, and self-reports: "’ll be ignoring his calls and messages from now on. "

Gotta say, this made me feel better about being single.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Whoops! I judged. The first rule is you're not allowed to judge. Sorry.

Ann Althouse said...

"Later, after she's "hooked up" with the guy she knows has a girlfriend (and by "hooked up" I mean had [presumably] unprotected sex) she lets Gerald take her out to a show & another dinner. She decides during the after-show meal that she's not interested in Gerald, and self-reports: "’ll be ignoring his calls and messages from now on. ""

But this is important information for the men who like to say that women don't care so much about how a man looks and what they want is earning power.

Gerald is the one with the money and Mark had the looks. She accepted some expensive dates from Gerald, never had sex with him, and freely gave Mark sexual access. He didn't even bother to be very good to her or to his girlfriend. He had beauty privilege.

Ann Althouse said...

At least she realized she was bored by Gerald. That he had money did not lure her into yoking her life to his.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Ann Althouse said...But this is important information for the men who like to say that women don't care so much about how a man looks and what they want is earning power.

The guy she had unprotected sex with is an attorney (presumably in NY) and also bought her food & drinks. I doubt he lacks earning power. He's younger than Gerald and so less "established," but that means wealth, not earning power/income.

At least she realized she was bored by Gerald.

She realized that after he'd paid a fair amount of money for their dates, conveniently. That realization didn't inspire her to treat Gerald with even the most basic of courtesy, either; according to her she intends to ignore him in the future as opposed to saying "thanks for a nice time but I'm not interested in relationship" or something similar.
You can dig out an "at least" for her if you want, but that's pretty low if you ask me.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Ann Althouse said...At least she realized she was bored by Gerald. That he had money did not lure her into yoking her life to his.

She did him the favor of not involving herself more in his life by taking more of his resources and time (perhaps eventually to include marriage and a divorce where she'd take half of his stuff) than she already had.

I mean, it's true, but talk about damning with faint praise!

"At least she didn't falsely accuse him of sexual assault in an effort to extort some of his money and psychologically strike back at the patriarchy she blames for her lack of spiritual fulfillment." Yeah...could have been worse, sure.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

That he had money did not lure her into yoking her life to his.

Doesn't this assume he had some interest in yoking his life to hers? What makes you think that?

Birches said...

Anyway, the sex diary/ies remind me of Peggy Noonan's line on the election and culture war--that we are being patronized by our inferiors. As an NYC resident, she knows whereof she speaks.

Are wealthy, good looking people really this horrible? Or is it just a NYC problem? This woman is sleeping with multiple cheaters and what's more, with Mark, she actually met his other lawyer friends. I assume that his other lawyer friends know about his longterm girlfriend, so they're ok with cheating and are totally nice to her? I can't believe this happens in the real world. I'd like to believe that most people are: a) decent and don't cheat b)cheat but understand they are doing something wrong and try to hide it c)friends of cheaters aren't ok with it.

Ann Althouse said...

"Doesn't this assume he had some interest in yoking his life to hers? What makes you think that?"

Yes, I should have said "lure her into fixating on a vision of her life yoked to his." He may very well have only wanted to advance to a sexual relationship that would be nice but only for a while.

DougWeber said...

NYC FIDI is the financial district. Kind of Fulton to Battery Park East of West St. Becoming very residential except for the Stock Exchange.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Ann Althouse said...Yes, I should have said "lure her into fixating on a vision of her life yoked to his." He may very well have only wanted to advance to a sexual relationship that would be nice but only for a while.

She possibly saved him from possible future stooge-ery, then. A noble act.

Speaking of, her graphic description of the cheating lawyer tactic (of sexual completion) sure sounds like he's leaving himself stooge-eligible! Is it weird that I find it shocking how little younger people seem to care about protection, in terms of disease, etc, related to sex?

Am I out of touch? No, it's the children who are wrong.

Birches said...

Is it weird that I find it shocking how little younger people seem to care about protection, in terms of disease, etc, related to sex?

Oh yes, I was also wondering about all the nasty diseases they have. Ewww.

Paul Snively said...

Why is it when I read about millennials' sex lives, it is, without exception, 1) ethically challenged, 2) boring as hell? I mean, that's quite a combination. Congratulations! You're a boring, horrible person!

walter said...

Ann Althouse said...He had beauty privilege.
--
Calves to die for...

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Why is it when I read about millennials' sex lives, it is, without exception, 1) ethically challenged, 2) boring as hell? I mean, that's quite a combination. Congratulations! You're a boring, horrible person!

It's quite clear to me that these promiscuous millennials have terrible sex. He doesn't know how to please her orally (duh, they barely know each other) then humps her until he ejaculates on her stomach. Wow, sounds great.

Poor thing. I wonder if she's ever had sex with someone under conditions of mutual caring, respect, trust, intimacy, safety, playfulness, and time spent learning what makes the other feel good. If those kids would get off Tinder and corral that crazy sex drive into healthy relationships their minds would be blown by how incredible sex can be.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Oh, and semen has potent antidepressant chemicals, but it has to be deposited where it belongs in order to have any effect. But you can't let it get where it actually belongs if you're having sex with diseased strangers.

EMyrt said...

Retired swinger here, and former epidemiologist specializing in sexually transmitted disease.

There's not much risk per sexual encounter for young, healthy heterosexuals. Or lesbians.
On the other hand, MSM (technical term for men who have sex with men) are much higher risk (insert Lazlo joke here).

Except herpes. Most promiscuous folks get herpes. Many less promiscuous too.

I am Myrt.

Birches said...

Except herpes. Most promiscuous folks get herpes. Many less promiscuous too.

Ok. Just herpes. No biggie...