June 14, 2015

"Climb out of the woodwork babe from 40 years ago. The climate’s great in Britain now for making loads of dough."

"You’ve festered down there long enough, time’s right to grab your chance. Clap eyes on a rich celebrity and make the bastard dance."

9 comments:

Laslo Spatula said...

So the subject of the post is a bitter pedophile, and I'm making a comment. Probably consider this a Trigger Warning; you might just want to skip by this one entirely.


Chris: "First off, I just want to say how thankful I am to have a group like ours, where we can share our stories without fear of harassment from the Uptights..."

Bob: "Excuse me: the Uptights?"

Ron: Sorry, Bob, it's easy to forget you're still a newbie. The Uptights are the ones in society that cannot understand our Special Kind of Love."

Chris: "Yes. And yesterday was a tough one. I was having some beers with some friends, and they started talking about the chicks they banged over the weekend, and I sat there, unable to say anything about MY weekend."

Ron: "That's always hard."

Chris: "I mean -- hey -- I got lucky too, you know? I banged some smoking hot eleven-year-old -- twice -- and it was fantastic. GREAT weekend."

Bob: "Eleven years old?"

Chris: "Yeah, but with the body of a killer eight-year-old."

Ron: "I found out today that one of my Special Girls told an adult about Our Special Secret."

Tom: "I hate it when that happens."

Ron: "So anyway, I may be leaving town for a bit. You know."

Chris: "That is so unfair..."

Ron: Tell me about it. I mean, if I had -- say, hypothetically -- killed her, then no one would even know, but then I would have to live with THAT."

Chris: "There are a lot of hard decisions for people like us."

Bob: "A fourteen-year-old boy that I loved once turned on me and vandalized my car."

Ron: "What a prick!"

Bob" "Yeah. he keyed the sides, slit the tires, broke the windows and shit on the driver's seat."

Chris: "Yeah, that's why fourteen is a bit too old. Live and learn."

Lamar: "You think YOU have it bad? Try being a Black Man that loves children. That REALLY gets the Uptights upset."

Bob: "Lamar, I hope this is not racist to ask --"

Lamar: "Ask away: we are friends here. We have a bond."

Bob: "Thanks. Anyway, do you prefer white children of black children?"

Lamar: "I guess I prefer the little white ones, bless their hearts."

Bob: "Boys or Girls?"

Lamar: "You know, that never much matters to me. I just take them as they come."

Chris: "See, we have our differences, but we can share them freely. I only like the little girls."

Ron: "I'm a 'boy' man, myself. I can't see how anyone can find something sexual in a female body, but to each their own."

Bob: "I'm not sure yet. I'm still learning to get in touch with my true needs."

Chris: "It'll come, Bob: it'll come."

Lamar: "I REALLY like the white ones."

Chris: "And Lamar, we accept you for that."

Lamar: "Thanks, Chris. Sometimes when I leave our meetings I almost cry, I am so happy to have been able to share my lifestyle."

Chris: "I think we all feel that way. I hate to be the one to break up the party, but the elementary schools are letting out soon...."

Bob: I like the little Catholic schoolgirls."

"Chris: "See, Bob? Now you're getting the hang of it..."


I am Laslo.

cubanbob said...

Mick Jagger and the Stones ought to redo Sympathy For The Devil to Sympathy For The Pedo in his honor.

William said...

An artist works with the trauma and squalor of his life and elevates it to art. Or not. Perhaps Bill Cosby could do a killer routine about how difficult it is to undress unconscious women and how sexually unresponsive they are.

Gahrie said...

Too bad Rolf didn't star in a TV show about feminists.

William said...

I just looked him up on wiki. He wrote Tie Me Kangaroo Down. That's definitely a catchy tune, and the song is especially liked by children. He also hosted a children's cartoon show. This man lived the dream of Michael Jackson.

n.n said...

It's an orientation that will likely remain in the closet for the foreseeable future. It will not be normalized even through coercion anytime soon. Most moms and dads take their children's dignity very seriously and its conservation as their primary responsibility.

EDH said...

Two Little Boys

Two little boys had two little toys
Each had a wooden horse
Gaily they played each summer's day
Warriors both of course
One little chap then had a mishap
Broke off his horse's head
Wept for his toy then cried with joy
As his young playmate said

Did you think I would leave you crying
When there's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Jack and don't be crying
I can go just as fast with two
When we grow up we'll both be soldiers
And our horses will not be toys
And I wonder if we'll remember
When we were two little boys

Long years had passed, war came so fast
Bravely they marched away
Cannon roared loud, and in the mad crowd
Wounded and dying lay
Up goes a shout, a horse dashes out
Out from the ranks so blue
Gallops away to where Joe lay
Then came a voice he knew

Did you think I would leave you dying
When there's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Joe, we'll soon be flying
I can go just as fast with two
Did you say Joe I'm all a-tremble
Perhaps it's the battle's noise
But I think it's that I remember
When we were two little boys

Do you think I would leave you dying
There's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Joe, we'll soon by flying
Back to the ranks so blue
Can you feel Joe I'm all a tremble
Perhaps it's the battle's noise
But I think it's that I remember
When we were two little boys

Skeptical Voter said...

If he had just tied his didgeridoo down, he wouldn't have had all this trouble. The old trouser snake will up and bite you in the most unexpected ways.

JAORE said...

Here in the deep south there is an expression, "He just needed killing".

Of COURSE I don't agree with that sentiment.

Life without parole, or until 10 out of 10 shrinks agree he is cured and they back that guarantee with their personal fortunes.

I suppose I'm just insensitive to the needs of the pedos.